Rick, Morty, and Myra
by nene9131
Summary: Myra is the genius twin sister of Morty. Read about how this young 14-year-old girl travels across various galaxies with her brother and grandpa. Oc
1. Introduction

**Introduction**

 _Myra Smith_

Myra Smith is the twin sister of Morty. She has brown hair that reaches her shoulders and has one side shaved, with the tips dyed blonde. Even though she's 14 she started puberty early and has already started to achieve her womanly curves, having an above the average chest size. She's the exact same height as her twin Morty.

She inherited her grandpa's genius mind, and unfortunately some of his cynical attitude. With her being so smart she's in her final year of high school but doesn't even pay that much attention in school anyway. With her genius mind she finds high school to be a meaningless stepping stone in life and is ready to attend college so that she further pursue higher education. She has no idea what she want's in the future and hopes college will help her pick. It's hard for her to connect to others her own age and typically steers clear of her peers.

She takes a great deal after her mother, Beth, in looks and in attitude. She's sassy and sarcastic but has a sweet side to her that she keeps under wraps. She loves to stick behind her mother in most conflicts and agrees with her side in arguments.

She finds her father, Jerry, to be quite moronic and takes great joy in watching him act out. All though she enjoy's making fun of her father she will not allow anyone outside of the family to do the same.

Her sister, Summer, and her don't always connect or spend that much time together. Myra refuses to admit it but she does look up to her sister Summer.

When it comes to her Grandpa Rick it can go either way. She can either be on his side and totally agree completely with him, or they can be pitted against each other like mortal enemies. Because of their clashing personalities she doesn't always go on adventures with Rick and Morty. When her and Morty are with Rick he sometimes calls them his to M's or MM.

Myra is very overprotective of her twin Morty. She can easily tell that there's not something right with him in the head and constantly has her eye on him. She becomes very explosive if anyone attempts to harm him.

Myra typically wears a yellow racerback flowing tank and blue jean shorts, with black canvas shoes. She had two earlobe piercings and one cartilage piercing in each ear.


	2. Pilot

**Pilot**

It's currently the middle of the night and everyone within the Smith's residence is fast asleep, well all except for one which will soon turn into three.

Fourteen year old Myra Smith was asleep in her bed when her Grandfather Rick burst through her bedroom door, dragging behind him her twin brother Morty.

"What the hell?" Myra said, sitting up in her bed rubbing her eyes.

"I've got a *burp* big surprise for Morty, and *burp* I want you to see Myra." Rick said, clearly drunk.

Myra knowing that Rick was going to drag Morty into something stupid she gets out of bed. "Man. *sigh* I'm coming." Myra said, sliding out of bed.

Myra pushes the two out of her bed room, "Let me get dressed. I'll be out in a few minutes."

Myra throws on her clothes and follows her grandpa out to the garage where his space cruiser is.

The three pile into the cruiser, Morty be more shoved into the cruiser, and Rick took off.

Myra too tired to care about anything just lays down in the backseat and props her legs up against the window.

"What do you think of this flying vehicle, Morty, Myra? I built it out of stuff I found in the garage." Rick said

"Cool Rick." Myra said, tiredly from the backseat not actually caring.

"Yeah, Rick, it's great. Is this the surprise?" Morty asked

"Morty, I had to I had *burp* to I had to I had *burp* to make a bomb, you guys. I had to create a bomb." Rick said

"What?! A bomb?!" Morty screams

"Whatever." Myra said, no tone of worry in her voice.

"We're gonna drop it down there just get a whole fresh start, you two. Create a whole fresh start." Rick explained

"T-t-that's absolutely crazy!" Morty screamed, continuing to freak out.

"The human society still needs time to develop to further their lesser intelligence. It'll take a couple of generations but they'll figure it out somehow, but they won't figure it out if you blow everything up Rick." Myra drones from the back half asleep.

"Come on, Morty. Just take it easy, Morty. Like Myra look how easy she takes it. It's gonna be good. Right now, we're gonna go pick up your little friend Jessica." Rick said

Morty is surprised to hear his crush's name, "Jessica? From my math class?"

"When I drop the bomb you know, I want *burp* you to have somebody, you know I want you to have *burp* the thing I'm gonna make it like a new Adam and Eve, and you're gonna be Adam." Rick explained

"And what am I Adam's wing man?" Myra said

Her sarcastic question goes unanswered.

"Whoa." Morty said, thinking about him and Jessica.

"And Jessica's gonna be Eve." Rick said

"Whhhh-wha?" Morty said, confused.

"And so that's the surprise, Morty." Rick said

Morty returns to his freakout mode, "No, you can't! Jessica doesn't even know I exist but but forget about that, because you can't blow up humanity."

"I-I get what *burp* you're trying to say, Morty. *burp* Listen, I'm not you don't you don't got to worry about me trying to fool around *burp* with with Jessica or mess around with Jessica or anything. I'm I'm not that kind of guy, Morty." Rick said

"What are you talking about, Rick?" Morty asked, placing his hands on his head.

"You you don't have to worry about me getting with Jessica or anything. She she *burp* she she she's all for you, Morty." Rick said

"I don't care about Jessica!" Morty said

"You know what, Morty? You're right. Let's forget the girl all together. She she's probably nothing but trouble, anyways." Rick said

Rick reaches down and presses a button on the panel in front of him.

"Arming neutrino bomb." A female robotic voice said

"That's it that's it, Rick. I'm taking the wheel." Morty said

Morty reaches over Rick and pulls at the wheel trying to take control of the cruiser.

"Get off of me, Morty!" Rick said, pushing Morty off the wheel.

Morty attempts to grab at the wheel again and continues to fight against Rick.

"I'm taking charge of this situation, buddy. What's gotten into you? I'm I'm I'm I'm not gonna stand around like some sort of dumb person and just let you blow up the whole world." Morty said

"All right, all right. I'll I'll land. I'll land. I'll land. I'll land the thing. Big tough guy all of a sudden." Rick said

Rick deactivates the neutrino bomb and starts to take the cruiser down and lands it in the desert.

"We'll park it right here. Right here on the side of the road here." Rick said

"Oh, thank God." Morty said

Rick opens the door the cruiser and falls out along with dozens of beer bottles. "You know what? That was all a test, Morty. Just an elaborate test to make you more assertive."

Morty pokes his head outside the door "It was?"

"Sure. Why not? I don't know. You you know what, mo-" Rick passes out halfway through his sentence clearly from all the alcohol.

"Neutrino bomb armed." The female robotic voice said

"Um …" Morty said, not sure what to do.

"Move over Morty," Myra gets up from the back seat and sits at the control panel.

 _Timeskip_

It's now morning and the Smith family have gathered around the table for breakfast.

Myra tired from last night has her head propped up in her hands.

"I see there's a new episode of that singing show tonight. Who do you guys think is gonna be the best singer?" Jerry said

Morty tries to listen to his father talk but is too tired and ends up falling asleep into his breakfast.

"Oh, my God, his head is in his food. I'm going to puke." Summer said, texting.

Beth picks up Morty's head from his breakfast, "Morty, are you getting sick? I told you not to practice-kiss the living-room pillow. The dog sleeps on it."

"I wasn't kissing a pillow, mom," Morty pushes around the food on his plate, "I just I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Maybe my dreams were just too loud or something." Morty said, with tired look on his face.

"Or maybe you were out all night again with Grandpa Rick and Myra." Summer said, slyly.

Hearing this Jerry gets angry and slams his hands on the table, "What?!"

"Dad?" Beth asked, disappointed.

"What, so everyone's supposed to sleep every single night now? You realize that nighttime makes up half of all time?" Rick said

"Damn it!" Jerry yelled

"Jerry!" Beth yelled at Jerry angry.

"Beth!" Jerry yells back.

"Oh, my God, my parents are so loud, I want to die." Summer said, as she typed the words out on her phone.

"Mm, there is no God, Summer. You gotta rip that band-aid off now. You'll thank me later." Rick said

"Okay, with all due respect, Rick. What am I talking about? What respect is due? How are my kids supposed to pass his classes if you keep dragging him off for high-concept Sci-Fi rigamarole?" Jerry said

"Listen, Jerry, I don't want to overstep my bounds or anything. It's your house. It's your world. You're a real Julius Caesar but I'll tell you some tell you how how I feel about school, Jerry. It's a waste of time a bunch of people running around, bumping into each other. G-guy up front says, "two plus two." The people in the back say, "four." Then the bell rings, and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can go take a dump or something. I mean, it's it's not a place for smart people, Jerry and I know that's not a popular opinion, but it's my two cents on the issue." Rick said

Rick stands up from the table and walks over to Beth.

"This was a good breakfast, Beth. You really made the crap out of those eggs. I wish your mother was here to eat them." Rick said

Rick gives her a kiss on the head causing her to tear up slightly.

"Oh, dad." Beth said, happy.

"What? For real?" Jerry said, gesturing to the two

"Haha you lose dad." Myra said, tiredly with half lidded eyes.

SLAM

Morty's face makes another appearance with his breakfast.

 _School_

Myra was currently in her second period class which was advanced calculus. Instead of paying attention to the lesson Myra was currently sleeping on her desk.

"Myra. Myra. Myra!"

A loud voice awoke Myra from her peaceful slumber.

"Ugh? Wha-?" Myra questioned, waking up from her nap.

"Myra what do you think you're doing in my class?" The teacher said

"Uhh isn't it obvious I'm clearly sleeping." Myra said

"Oooooh." The class said

The teacher clearly angry at what Myra's said crosses his arms and taps his foot. "So you think you can just sleep in my class."

"Yep." Myra replies

"Do you think that you're going to pass my class like that?" He asked

"Sir, I'm taking this class because I wanted a light load for my last year in school. I could sleep everyday and answer any question you give me and ace every test you hand me." Myra said

The teachers face flushes red with anger, "Oh really now." He grits his teeth in anger and walks up to the front of the class. He erases what is on the board and writes Fermat's Last Theorem.

"If you can solve this problem not only will I let you sleep in class. I'll give you an A+ for the rest of the year and require no work from you." He said

Myra yawns and stands up from her desk and walks up to the front of the class. "Whatever." She grabs the chalk from her teacher and looks at the problem.

The teacher behind her chuckles at her believing that she won't be able to solve the problem and taught her a lesson. His plan quickly backfires on him when Myra writes down the answer to the question and hands him back the chalk.

"Now can I please go back to my nap?" Myra asked

The teacher is unable to answer her question because he is too baffled by what he just witnessed. He continues to stare at the board in disbelief.

The bell rings signaling the end of second period. "Crap." Myra said, not being able to go back to her nap.

Everyone in the class gets up and heads out of the class. Myra is about to head out of the class but turns back towards her teacher. "By the way, that is not calculus." She said

Myra walks out of class and ventures into the sea of puberty and teen angst.

As Myra walks down the hallway she spots Morty but he's not alone. He was currently being pushed against a locker by none other than Frank Paliky.

Myra narrows her eyes at the two and starts to walk over to them. She's about to take care of Morty's Frank problem but is stopped by a hand on her shoulder.

"I'll *burp* handle this." Rick said, pulling out a freeze gun.

Rick walks up behind Frank and freeze's him.

Myra joins the two, "I could of handled that."

"Yeah but I need to get you two out of her quietly. It would have been real hard if you created a crime scene." Rick said

"Wha-?" Morty said, seeing the two.

"There you are, Morty. Listen to me. I got an errand to run in a whole different dimension. I need some extra hands." Rick said

"Oh, geez, Rick. W-w-what'd you do to Frank?" Morty said, staring at the Frank ice sculpture.

"It's pretty obvious, Morty. I froze him. Now listen I need your's and Myra's help I mean, we got we got to get get the hell out of here and go take care of business. *burp* It's important. Come on, Morty." Rick said

"Meh I don't care if I leave. I'm smarter than my teachers anyway." Myra said

"I don't know, Rick. I can't leave school again." Morty said

"Do you have any concept of how much higher the stakes get out there, Morty? What do you think I can just do it all by myself? Come on!" Rick said

"Aw, geez. Okay. I guess I can skip history." Morty said

"Don't worry Morty I'll help you catch up." Myra said, patting his shoulder.

Morty turns to the frozen Frank, "What about Frank? I mean, shouldn't you unfreeze him?"

"Why? I kind of like him this way. Besides with all the hot air he blows out he could probably unthaw himself." Myra said

"Good one Myra. I'll unfreeze him later, Morty. He'll be fine. Let's go." Rick said

Rick walks off pulling Morty with him. Myra is about to follow but looks at the frozen Frank. She puts her hand out and is about to push him over but then pulls her hand back. "Nah. I'll do it later."

Myra turns away from Frank and runs to catch up with Morty and Rick.

Rick, Morty, and Myra make their way to an alley way. Rick pulls out his portal gun and creates a portal in the side of the alley way wall.

Myra whistles staring at the portal, "Impressive."

"There she is. All right. Come on, you two. Let's go." Rick said

"Oh, geez, okay." Morty said

The three jump through the portal and end up in a crazy freaky dimension.

"Oh, man, Rick. What is this place?" Morty said, looking around the place.

"This place is freaky." Myra said

"It's Dimension 35-C, and it's got the perfect climate conditions for a special type of tree, Morty, Myra, called a mega tree, and there's fruit in those trees, and there's seeds in those fruits. I'm talking about mega seeds. They're they're incredibly powerful, and I need them to help me with my research, Morty, Myra." Rick said

"Mega tree? Really? What a creative name." Myra said, crossing her arms.

"Oh, man, Rick. I'm looking around this place, and I'm starting to work up some anxiety about this whole thing." Morty said

"All right, all right, calm down. Listen to me, Morty. I know that new situations can be intimidating. You're looking around, and it's all scary and different, but, you know, m-meeting them head on, charging right into them like a bull that's how we grow as people. I'm no stranger to scary situations. I deal with them all the time. Now, if you just stick with me, Morty, we're gonna be-!"

Rick is cut off by a giant frightening alien that appears behind the three.

"HOLY CRAP, MORTY, MYRA, RUN!" Rick yells

The three of them take off running in a random direction screaming for their lives.

"I never seen that thing before in my life. I don't even know what the hell it is! We got to get out of here! It's gonna kill us! We're gonna die, Myra! We're gonna die, Morty!"

 _Timeskip_

Rick, Morty, and Myra, finally escaped the alien and were catching their breath.

"Okay you two, take a deep breath. Breathe that breathe that fresh air in. Y-you smell that? That's the smell of adventure, MM. That's that's the smell of of of of a whole different evolutionary timeline." Rick said

"All right, Rick, look how much longer is this gonna be? Shouldn't I be back at school by now?" Morty said

"Yeah Rick," Myra whispers in his ear, "We gotta be careful and not let mom and dad find out."

"Right," Rick whispers back. He turns his attention back to Morty, "Are you joking me? I mean, look at all the crazy crap surrounding us. Look at that thing right there."

Rick points at some crazy looking creature. "What the hell is that thing? You think you're gonna see that kind of thing at school?" Rick points at something else, "Look at it just lumbering around. It defies all logic, that thing."

"Yeah, Rick, I get it. We're surrounded by monsters. That's kind of the reason why I want to leave." Morty said

The trio come up to a cliff.

"Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. MM, you see this?" Rick said

The three of them look over the edge of the cliff and sees a giant tree.

"You see what we just stumbled upon? Any idea what that is down there?" Rick asked

"The mega trees?" Morty and Myra said

"That's right, you two, the mega trees with the mega fruit on them and that's what I'm talking about. That's where my seeds are. If we would have done what you wanted, I would have never have found them, because you're so in love with school." Rick said

"All right, all right. So, what's so special about these seeds, anyways?" Morty asked

"You ask a lot of questions, Morty. Not very charismatic. It makes you kind of an *burp* Under *burp* underfoot figure." Rick said

Rick hands the two twins a pair of shoes. "Just take these shoes. They're *burp* special grappling shoes. When you're wearing these things, these babies, you can basically just walk on any surface you want. Up, down, below, turn around to the left. These things really bring it all together."

Morty not knowing you had to turn on the shoes walks right over the cliff and plummets straight down.

"AAAAAAAHHHH!" Morty screamed

"Oh shit! Morty!" Myra yelled, looking over the edge down to where Morty fell.

Rick gets behind Myra and yells down to Morty, "You have to turn them on, Morty! The shoes have to be turned on!"

 _?_ _ﾟﾑﾽ_ _?_ _ﾟﾑﾽ_ _?_ _ﾟﾑﾽ_ _?_ _ﾟﾑﾽ_ _?_ _ﾟﾑﾽ_ _?_ _ﾟﾑﾽ_ _?_ _ﾟﾑﾽ_ _?_ _ﾟﾑﾽ_ _?_ _ﾟﾑﾽ_ _?_ _ﾟﾑﾽ_ _?_

Rick and Myra had made their way down the side of cliff and were now standing next to Morty who currently has two broken legs.

"Morty, oh, you really d-did a number on your legs right now. You know, you got to turn the shoes on, Morty, for them to work. Yeah, look I turned mine on, Myra turned on hers. We had no problem getting down here. It was a leisurely breeze." Rick said

"I'm in a lot of pain, Rick!" Morty said, in pain.

"Yeah, I can see that. But do you think you'll still be able to help me collect my seeds, Morty?" Rick asked

"Grandpa Rick! Now is not the time!" Myra said, pushing Rick. Myra sits down next to Morty and places Morty's head on his lap.

Morty gets angry at Rick, "Are you kidding me?! That's it, Rick! That's the last straw! I can't believe this! I'm sitting here with both of my legs broken, and you're still asking me about getting those seeds?! Ooh! Ow! Oh! Y-y-you're a monster. Y-you're like Hitler, but but even Hitler cared about Germany or something."

"Okay, hold on just a second, Morty." Rick said

Rick opens up a portal and step inside.

"Ooh! Ohh! Ooh! Hnngh! Hoo! Ooh! Ohh! Aaaaagh! Oooooh!" Morty yells withering in pain.

Myra pets Morty, "It's going to be okay Morty don't worry. Ugh where did Rick go?" Myra growing impatience puts Morty's head down and sits next to his legs. "Morty I'm going to have to fix you up myself. I don't have any anesthetic so this is going to hurt, like a lot, like I mean a lot Morty this is going to probably be the worst pain you've ever been in." Myra said

"Wha- Ahg Oh are yo- ah talking aww about?" Morty asked

"I'm going to reset your legs Morty." Myra says simply

"Myra! Nononono-!"

Myra places her hands on Morty's left leg, "Here we go."

"Ahhhhh!"

Before Myra could fix Morty's legs Rick comes back through a portal.

Rick pulls out a syringe filled with a pink liquid and injects it into Morty's legs. Within a few seconds Morty's legs start to repair themselves.

"Ooh, Ohh, Ooh. Wow, Rick," Morty stands up on his now no longer broken legs, "That stuff just healed my broken legs instantly. I mean, I've never felt so good in my life. Thank you."

Myra pulls out a pad and pencil, "Fascinating." She said, scribbling on the pad.

"Don't worry about it, Morty. Just come help me get these seeds, all right, buddy?" Rick said

"Sure thing, Rick." Morty said

Morty walks up to the tree and starts to climb up it. Myra stands below Morty making sure to catch the seeds and Morty if necessary.

"Not that you guys asked, but what just happened there is I went into a future dimension with such advanced medicine that they had broken-leg serum at every corner drugstore. The stuff was all over the place." Rick said

"Wow, that's pretty crazy, Rick." Morty said

Morty climbs back down the tree and stands next to Myra and Rick.

"There's just one problem, one little hang-up. The dimension I visited was so advanced, that *burp* they had also halted the aging process, and everyone there was young, and they had been forever. I was the only old person there. *burp* It was like I was some sort of, you know, celebrity, walking around. I-I was fascinating to them. There were a lot of attractive women there, and they they they they all wanted time with me. I had a lot of fun with a lot of young ladies, but I spent so much time there, my interdimensional portal device it's got no charge left." Rick pulls out the portal gun and shakes it around, "It's got no charge left."

"What?!" Morty yelled

"Seriously?" Myra questioned

"It's as good as garbage. It's not gonna work anymore." Rick said

"Oh, geez, Rick, that's not good. W-what are we gonna do? I-I have to be back at school right now. How are we gonna get back home?" Morty asked, frantically.

"There's ways to get back home, Morty. It's just it's just gonna be a little bit of a hassle. We're gonna have to go through interdimensional customs, so you're gonna have to do me a real solid." Rick said

"Wait? Interdimensional customs? Like an airport for cross dimensional travelers? *sigh* As if the customs on earth weren't hard enough to get through." Myra said

"Myra's right Morty, it's going to be a real pain in the ass. That's why I need this solid from you." Rick said

"Uh-oh." Morty said, worried.

"When we get to customs, I'm gonna need you to take these seeds into the bathroom, and I'm gonna need you to put them way up inside your butthole, Morty." Rick said

"In my butt?" Morty asked

Myra facepalms, "For the love of-"

"Put them way up inside there, as far as they can fit." Rick said, gesturing shoving it up real far.

"Oh, geez, Rick. I really don't want to have to do that." Morty said

"Well, somebody's got to do it, Morty. Th-these seeds aren't gonna get through customs unless they're in someone's rectum, Morty." Rick said

"Uuuh." Morty said, shifting his eyes.

"And they'll fall right out of mine. I've done this too many times, Morty. I mean, you're young. Y-y-you've got your whole life ahead of you, and your anal cavity is still taut, yet malleable." Rick said

"W-what about Myra?" Morty questioned

"Are you kidding? They'll be expecting that from her. P-p-perfect decoy, besides Myra's got her ass clenched so tight you could crush diamonds with them." Rick said

Myra looks at her grandpa, "How in the hell-?"

Rick cuts off her sentence, "You got to do it for grandpa, Morty. Y*burp*-you've got to put these seeds inside your butt."

"In my butt?" Morty asked, looking down at the seeds

"Come on, Morty. Please, Morty. You have to do it, Morty." Rick said

"Oh, man." Morty said

Myra just continues to sigh and shake her head at the interaction.

? ﾟﾌﾎ? ﾟﾌﾎ? ﾟﾌﾎ? ﾟﾌﾎ? ﾟﾌﾎ? ﾟﾌﾎ? ﾟﾌﾎ? ﾟﾌﾎ? ﾟﾌﾎ? ﾟﾌﾎ? ﾟﾌﾎ? ﾟﾌﾎ? ﾟﾌﾎ? ﾟﾌﾎ?

 _Back on Earth_

Beth and Jerry were walking down the hallway discussing Morty with Prinipcal Vagina.

"The fact is, your son, Morty, has attended this school for a total of seven hours over the last two months." Principal Vagina said

"What? Why didn't you notify us?" Beth said

"I have been notifying you. Have you not been getting the messages I've been leaving with Morty's grandfather?" Principal Vagina asked

"Boom! Told you! In your face! He is ruining our child! Wait, what am I celebrating?" Jerry questioned

"Yeah, see, I thought something was fishy there, because it's usually Morty's grandpa that's taking him out of school." Principal Vagina said

They stop in the hallway to see Summer and a few other students crying over an obituary for Frank.

"Summer?" Beth asked

Summer ignores her mother and continues to cry, "What kind of God lets this happen?"

"We had a little incident. A student was frozen to death. Haha, and there's no evidence that a Latino student did it! Everyone wants to take this to a racial place. I won't let them." Principal Vagina said

They continue to walk down the hallway.

"There's also Myra." Principal Vagina said

"Oh god! He's ruining Myra too, she's in the gifted program. Beth! Your father is going to ruin her." Jerry

"Jerry-!" Beth started, but is interrupted by Principal Vagina.

"Myra has missed several weeks of school but that's not what I want to discuuss," Principal Vaginga leads them to a classroom and opens the door. "I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Flick-?"

Principal Vagina stops talking mid sentence when he sees Mr. Flick curled up in his chair shaking mumbling nonsense to himself.

"Uhhhh? Mr. Flick?" Principal Vagina asked, getting the man's attention.

As soon as the man hears his name his head snaps right towards the three at the door, "Is this them?" Mr. Flick didn't give Principal Vagina time to answer and walks up to Jerry and Beth shaking their hands. "Mr. and Mrs. Smith I teacher your daughter Myra's Advanced Calculus Class."

"Is Myra having trouble in class?" Beth asked

"I bet it's from Rick pulling her out of class. See ruining not one but two of our kids." Jerry said, with a smug look.

"Really Jerry?" Beth said, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow.

Mr. Flick interrupts the couples arguing, "No no no no no. You two have got it all wrong. Look at what's on the board."

"Uhhh? Math problem?" Jerry asked

"Yes Mr. Smith but not just any math problem. This equation baffled minds for decades and only one man in the world has been able to solve it, but today in this class your daughter solved this problem as easy as adding 2+2." Mr. Flick said

"Are you saying-?" Beth asked

"Yes Mrs. Smith. Your daughter is not just a gifted student. She's a genius! Her intellect is unfathomable, I can't even begin to explain how high her IQ is! Your daughter shouldn't even be in this school! S-s-she should be in college working on her Doctorate! Your daughter can attend any College she pleases to! You daughter is going to change the world!" At this point Mr. Flick was foaming at the mouth.

"Okay Mr. Flick deep breathes, why don't you take a seat over here." Principal Vagina said, guiding the teacher over to a desk.

"As you heard from Mr. Flick's *cough* colorful description your daughter is excelling, and not just in math but in every subject. We went back as far as we could go into Myra's file and she has scored a perfect score on everything ever given to her. Look at this," Principal Vagina hands Beth one of Myra's science test with a perfect score, "This is an advanced level chemistry test that your daughter took and scored a perfect score on it, after she had missed three weeks of school and the entire lesson. We have no idea how Myra slipped under the radar, but we think that it's in Myra's best interest to graduate her immediately so that she can pursue a higher education at a College." Principal Vagina said

Beth and Jerry are speechless to what they just heard and just stare at Principal Vagina.

 _Intergalactic Customs_

Myra was waiting for Morty outside the bathroom when an alien comes up next to her. Myra cringes at the alien clearly displeased with its presence.

"忣応忈怂忱,⤗⤕⬇⬀⧭⭄⥺⧫⧪⬇ " The alien said to her.

Myra raises her eyebrow, "Human, Huuuummaaaannn," Myra said gesturing to her body, "No universal translator no understand."

The alien does what she assumes is a cough and attempts to speak again, but is shoved out of the way by another alien.

"Oh great another one. Look I told the other one I don't speak alien languages." Myra said

"I know." He said

"Oh. Well what did he want? Matter of fact what do you want?" Myra asked

"He was trying to hit on you in a very unpleasant way might I add, those of lesser intelligence tend to have a crude way of communicating when it comes to such an enchanting creature such as yourself." The alien said grabbing Myra's hand

"Wha-?"

"Allow me to introduce myself I am Clore Matter, of dimension 1567-D." The alien said

He goes down to kiss Myra's hand but she's grabbed away by Rick.

"*burp* Keep your slimy mitts off of my granddaughter." Rick said, holding Myra back and pointing a finger at Clore.

"I was just merely-"

"You weren't merely shit! I know what you want. Let's go Myra." Rick said guiding Myra to the customs line.

"What the hell was that about Rick?" Myra asked

"I-It's your dna, Myra" Rick said

"My dna?" Myra asked

"Yeah. Your s-superior intelligence along with your attractiveness makes you a prime specimen to most species. Since your brain functions at such a high capacity it generates a special chemical that you release through your pores. Since your female when it's smelled by other males of any species it draws them to you. Since you have above average beauty they find you better suited as a mate rather than a science experiment." Rick said

"Awwww gross. Seriously! So I'm some sort of alien sex magnet?" Myra said, making a gross face.

"Yep. It could be worse you could have your father's looks, then you'd be floating in some jar somewhere. A little secret alien men way better than human's keep your options open." Rick said

Morty walked out of the bathroom walking awkwardly and holding his ass with his hands.

"The glarp zone is for flarping and unglarping only." An announcer says over a speaker.

"So, I told him, "give me the blimfarx," you know? This this guy he doesn't understand interstellar currency." An alien said

"It's, like, I'm trying to eat a flimflam like, that's what we eat on girvonesk." Another alien said

"The glarp zone is for flarping and unglarping only." The announcer repeats.

Morty meets up with Rick and Myra who are waiting in line to get through customs.

"I don't like it here. I can't abide bureaucracy. I don't like being told where to go and what to do. I consider it a violation. Did you get those seeds all the way up your butt?" Rick asked

"Yeah, Rick. Let's just get this over with, okay? I mean, these things are pointy.

They hurt." Morty said

"That means they're good ones. You're a good kid, Morty. Those mega seeds are super valuable to my work. You've been a huge help to me. I'm gonna be able to do a-*burp*-all kind of things with them. It's gonna be great, Morty. A-*burp*-all kinds of science." Rick said

"Aaannnd what about me? All I've done is watch you drink and have Morty cram seeds up his ass." Myra said, crossing her arms.

"You're here to make sure Morty doesn't die. Also remember what I told you earlier, draws attention right off of Morty and his ass." Rick said

"Wha-? If I get snatched by some intergalactic perfect I'm finding the first ship home to kick your ass Rick." Myra said, angry.

"Okay next. You girl step over here." The Gromfomite said, to Myra.

"Whatever." Myra said, moving over.

Rick and Morty try to step through but Morty is stopped too.

"You go over there." The Gromfomite said

"Why does he have to go over there? You've got the girl." Rick said, pointing over to Myra who was currently getting a pat down.

 **SLAP**

"Keep your claws above the clothing!"

"Random check. He's got to go through the new machine." The Gromfomite said

"What new *burp* what new machine?" Rick said

"It's a new machine. It detects stuff all the way up your butt." The Gromfomite said

Rick grabs Morty hand and starts sprinting, "Run, Morty! Run Myra!"

Myra hearing this punches the Gromfomite who was patting her down and grabs his gun following Rick and Morty.

"Aaaaaah!" Morty screams as they run.

"Red alert!"

A team of Gromfomite's start chasing after the three.

Rick pushes over a giant capsule, with an alien fetus over, smashing some Gromfomite's, to slow them down.

"Ohhhhhh!" Morty screamed

Rick, Morty, and Myra crash through a life support system for a trapped alien life form and Morty inhales gas from the alien. He coughs up a blob and it turns into a small alien. The alien becomes freed, and starts running through the glarp zone and goes through the entire aging process from developing fetus to decomposing corpse, over the course of three seconds.

Morty becomes horrified after seeing this, "Aaaaah!"

"Don't think about it!" Rick yelled

The three of them become cornered but Morty activates the grappling shoes and runs up the wall.

"Ooh! Oh, nice, Morty! The student becomes the teacher." Rick said, turning on his boots.

Myra turns on her boots too, then Myra and Rick follow after Morty.

The Gromfomite's open their wings and starts flying after them.

"Whoooooo!" Morty yells, seeing them fly towards them.

They run through the equipment on the ceiling, before they slip off to the ground.

"Aah! Aw, hell, no, dawg. You know me I'm just trying to-" An alien says, but the three of them crash to the ground and the alien dies. They then run to the portal computer.

"I need to type in the coordinates to our home world, MM. Cover me." Rick said

Rick tosses Morty a gun, as Myra pulls out the gun she previously stole and starts shooting at the Gromfomite's.

Morty clumsily catches the gun, "Oh, man. I mean, you know, I-I don't want to shoot nobody."

"They're just robots, Morty! It's okay to shoot them! They're robots!" Rick yells

Morty shoots a Gromfomite, and ends up blowing his leg off. The wound starts to gush out a dark purple blood as The Gromfomite drops down in pain.

"Aaaaah! My leg is shot off!" The Gromfomite screamed

Another Gromfomite drops next to him and cradles him, "Flynn's bleeding to death! Someone call his wife and children!"

"They're not robots, Rick!" Morty screams out horrified.

"It's a figure of speech, Morty. They're bureaucrats. I don't respect them. Just keep shooting, Morty." Rick said

"Morty now is not the time! I don't care what universe were in I am not going to jail, so keep shooting!" Myra yells at her brother.

"Myra's right you have no idea what prison is like here!" Rick yelled

Morty and Myra continue shooting up the Gromfomite's. Myra ends up shooting two Gromfomite's killing them. Morty unfortunately doesn't have any aim and while trying to shoot at the Gromfomite's he kills some innocent bystanders.

"Holy crap! This is insane!" Morty yells

"Just keep fucking shooting! Rick how long!" Myra yells

As soon as Myra finishes her sentence Rick finally gets the portal open.

"Come on! We got to get the hell out of here!" Rick yelled

Rick grabs the twins and pulls them into the to portal.

The portal opens up in the lunchroom at Morty and Myra's school. The three of them land on the table where Jessica and her friends were eating.

"Wow. Did you just come into the cafeteria through a portal?" Jessica asked Morty

Morty becomes nervous over Jessica talking to him and stutters, "Uh, yeah. Well, you know, my my Ferrari's in the shop. Ahhah, Just kidding." Morty said, nervously.

"You're Morty, right?" Jessica asked

 **"** Yeah." Morty said, happy.

Rick grabs Morty's arm, "You can get his number later. Come on, Morty. We got to get out of here. You got to get those seeds out of your ass."

Rick, Morty, and Myra run out of the cafeteria but are stopped by Jerry, Beth, and Principal Vagina.

"Oh, look, honey. It's our son and daughter with Albert Ein-douche." Jerry said, angry.

"What?" Beth said, confused.

"I'm an angry father, not an improvisor." Jerry said

"Oh, hi, Jerry. Oh, my goodness, Morty! Myra! What are you doing out of class? We talked about this. Your your parents and I are very disappointed in in this behavior." Rick said, poorly faking his act.

It's clear on everyone's face that no one is buying Rick's act.

"No? No takers?" Rick asked

? ﾟﾒﾡ? ﾟﾒﾡ? ﾟﾒﾡ? ﾟﾒﾡ? ﾟﾒﾡ? ﾟﾒﾡ? ﾟﾒﾡ? ﾟﾒﾡ? ﾟﾒﾡ? ﾟﾒﾡ? ﾟﾒﾡ? ﾟﾒﾡ? ﾟﾒﾡ?

Rick, Morty, and Myra are now back at home in the garage, watching Beth and Jerry pack away Rick's stuff and putting it in a giant moving truck.

"You guys should really not be touching that stuff. It's beyond your reasoning." Rick said

"You're beyond our reasoning!" Jerry said, pointing a finger at Rick.

"Takes one to know one." Rick said, crossing his arms.

"Dad, how could you make my son miss an entire semester of school? I mean, it's not like he's a hot girl. He can't just bail on his life and set up shop in someone else's. " Beth said, anger and disappointment clear in her voice.

Myra opens her mouth to speak but is stopped by Beth who puts her hand in her face.

"Not a word Myra." Beth said

"What what are you guys doing with my stuff?" Rick asked

"We're moving you to a nursing home." Beth said

"A nursing home? What are what are you, nuts? I'm a genius. I build robots for fun." Rick said, outraged.

"Well, now you can build baskets and watch Paul Newman movies on VHS and mentally scar the boy scouts every Christmas." Jerry said

"What does that mean?" Beth said, confused.

"It's personal." Jerry said

"Dad, mom, come on. Rick just needed my help is all." Morty said

"Morty, stay out of this. You are obviously not capable of judging these situations on your own." Jerry said

Myra was about to open her mouth again but is once again silenced by her mother's hand.

"No Myra." Beth said

"What are you trying to say about Morty? That he's stupid or something?" Rick said

"Oh, don't high-road us, dad. You know fully well that Morty is the last child that needs to be missing classes." Beth said

"I-I-I don't know what you mean by that. Can can can you be a little bit more specific?" Rick asked, sarcastically.

"Oh, for crying out- he's got some kind of disability or something. Is that what you want us to say?" Jerry said

"I do?" Morty said, making a dopey face.

"*sigh* Oh Morty." Myra said, patting Morty's back in a comforting way.

"Well, duh doy, son," Jerry gets down to Morty's level and gently grasp his shoulders, "Look, I love you, Morty, but we both know you're not as fast as the other kids, and if you want to compete in this world, you gotta work twice as hard." Jerry said

Morty steps away from Jerry and grabs his head in thought, "Aw, geez, dad. Y-you know, that's a lot to drop on a kid all at once."

"Morty, t-tell your parents the square root of pi." Rick said

"Oh, come on, Rick. You know I can't." Morty said

"The square root of pi, Morty. Go!" Rick said

Morty stops moving and his pupils get bigger, "1.77245385, Whoa!" Morty finished amazed.

"What the hell?" Beth said

"Yeah what the hell? He's right." Myra said

"Myra language! But, Holy crap. He's right." Jerry said

"Morty, tell your parents the first law of Thermodynamics." Rick said

Morty goes back into his weird state, "The increment in the internal energy of a system is equal to the increment of heat supplied to the system. Wow! I'm so smart!"

"But-?" Jerry said

"I told the both of you school is stupid. It's not how you learn things. Morty and Myra are both gifted children," Rick puts his arms around their shoulders, "They have special minds. That's why they're my little helpers. They're like me. They're gonna be doing great science stuff later in life. They're too smart for school. They need to keep hanging out and helping me." Rick said

"Jerry, I don't want whatever's happening here to stop." Beth said

"No, I-I understand. Uh, maybe we overreacted. But Morty has to keep going to school." Jerry said

"Okay, Jerry. You drive a hard bargain, but what am I supposed to do? Say no? You you really wear the pants around here. I just want you to know, between us, from now on, it's gonna be clear communication." Rick said

Summer burst in the garage door crying.

"Frank Palicky was frozen to death today!" Summer said, in tears.

"No idea what you're talking about." Rick said

Him and Myra share a secret high five behind their backs.

Summer continues to cry and runs out of the garage.

"Okay. Well, uh, Morty, Myra. It's your bedtime in an hour. Don't stay up all night again," Jerry grabs Beth in a side hug, "This is good, though. This can work. I think we can be a family and now, Beth, if you'll have me, I would love to have you."

"You know what? Okay." Beth said

Beth and Jerry go to leave but stop when Beth remembers something extremely important.

"How could we almost forget. Jerry go get the thing." Beth said

"What thing?" Jerry asked

"You know the _thing."_ Beth said

"Uhhhh?" Jerry said

"Myra's thing." Beth said, getting frustrated

"Oh! Right!" Jerry said

Jerry runs into the house and comes back shortly with something covered in a small cloth.

"Myra we have something very important for you. You are so special and we are so sorry it took us this long to realize it." Beth said

Jerry starts tearing up, "We are so proud of you honey."

Myra not used to this type of affection backs up from her parents, "Why are you guys acting like this. It's kind of creeping me out."

"We had a talk with one of your teachers today and your Principal. They thought that it was in your best interest to give you this." Beth said

Jerry removes the cloth and shows a diploma.

"Holy- is that a diploma." Myra asked

"Yes. Congratulations Myra you are now a High School graduate." Beth said, extremely happy.

"*burp* It's about time. Like I said school is stupid. Myra passed it and she slept most of the time." Rick said

"That's because our little Myra here is a genius." Jerry said, still crying. He goes down to give Myra a hug.

"Uhhhmmm Okay." Myra said, awkwardly hugging her dad back.

"We'll have to throw a party to celebrate. Oh and Myra you and me can look at some college's later." Beth said, leading a still crying Jerry out of the garage.

Once they leave Myra throws her hands in the air. "Yeah motherfuckers I'm done with High School no more prepubescent morons. I don't have to spend another second in that hormonal waste dump. Guess your going to be having me around a lot more huh Grandpa Rick."

"Whatever. *burp* I'm going to have to teach a lot about other galaxies so your scent and boobs don't get you kidnapped and you end up becoming the housewife of some infinite being of horror on a planet that rains shit." Rick said

"Holy cow, Myra. I'm really happy for you, and I didn't know hanging out with you Rick was making me smarter. Maybe if I keep it up I'll be as smart as you and Myra." Morty said

"Full disclosure, Morty it's not gonna happen. Temporary superintelligence is just a side effect of the mega seeds dissolving in your rectal cavity." Rick said

"Aw, man." Morty said, disappointed

"Yeah, and once those seeds wear off, you're gonna lose most of your motor skills, and you're also gonna lose a significant amount of brain functionality for 72 hours, Morty. Starting right about now." Rick said

Morty starts to drool and falls on the ground, "Ohh, man, Oh, geez! Ohh."

Morty starts seizing up and makes moaning sounds.

"I'm sorry, Morty. It's a bummer. In reality, you're as dumb as they come and I needed those seeds real bad, and I had to give them up just to get your parents off my back, so now we're gonna have to go get more." Rick said

While Morty has a seizure, Rick excitedly looks at him, "And then we're gonna go on even more adventures after that, Morty and you're gonna keep your mouth shut about it, Morty, because the world is full of idiots that don't understand what's important, and they'll tear you, me, and Myra apart, Morty, but if you stick with me, I'm gonna accomplish great things, Morty, and you and your sister are gonna be part of them, and together, we're gonna run around, Morty. We're gonna do all kinds of wonderful things, Morty. Just you and us, Morty. The outside world is our enemy, Morty. We're the only friends we've got, Morty. It's just Rick, Morty, and Myra. Rick, Morty, and Myra and their adventures, Morty. Rick and the two M's forever and forever. Me and the two M's running around, and Rick and Morty and Myra time. All day long, forever. All a hundred days. Rick and Morty and Myra forever 100 times. Over and over, . All 100 years. Every minute, .

Myra just sighs at the two. "I'll get a belt to put in Morty's mouth so he doesn't bite out his tongue." Myra said leaving the garage.

END


	3. Lawnmower Dog

**Lawnmower Dog**

Jerry and Summer were in the living room. Summer was doing what she normally did in her spare time, and was texting on her phone. Jerry was trying to find something to watch on the TV and was flipping through channels.

*Click* "Coin collecting is considered the perfect hobby."  
*Click* "Beautiful putt right there good birdie."  
*Click* "That's only the eighth birdie of the day.  
While Jerry was engrossed with his channel surfing Snuffles walks into the living room, and sits in the middle of the room looking directly at Jerry.

Jerry notices Snuffles staring, "What? Why are you looking at me? You want to go outside? Outside? *sigh*"  
Jerry gets up from his recliner and opens the sliding patio door to let Snuffles out.  
"Outside?" Jerry said, exaggerating the word and pointing outside.

Snuffles doesn't move at all and just continues to stare at Jerry.

Jerry annoyed sighs and closes the door. He walks back over to his recliner and sits down. He's about to start flipping through channels angina when Snuffles lifts up his leg and pees directly on the carpet.  
"Are you kidding me?! Come on!" Jerry said, angry.  
"Oh, my God." Summer said

Morty and Myra hear Jerry's yelling and they both run into the living room.  
"What's wrong?" Morty asked  
"Your idiot dog!" Jerry yelled, pointing down at Snuffles.  
Morty gets down on his knees and wraps his arms around Snuffles bringing him into a hug, "Oh, he he didn't mean it, dad. Did you, Snuffles? You're a good boy." Morty said, petting him.

"Don't praise him now, Morty! He just peed on the carpet!" Jerry said, getting up from his seat. He grabs Snuffles head and rubs it in the pee, "Bad dog! Bad!"

"Dad!" Myra yelled, grabbing Snuffles away and pulling him into a hug.

"You too?!" Jerry said, slightly outraged at how his kids treat the dog's 'bad' behavior.

"This is not how you treat Snuffles." Myra said, gently petting Snuffles. "You're ruining his training."

"I'm ruining his training!" Jerry yelled, point at himself, "He has no training because he peed on the carpet."

"That's because you keep messing with his training. You don't understand Snuffles." Myra said, placing Snuffles down. "He's like Morty."

"Wha-?"

"He may be a little dimwitted, but he's a playful little loveable scamp that just needs a little extra attention." Myra said

"Besides Morty and I said we would take care of Snuffles and that includes cleaning up after him, I made this." Myra said, pulling out a blue remote with a single button from her pocket. She presses the button and a small white dome shaped robot with a lens rolls into the living room.

"What is that?" Jerry said, pointing at the robot.

"EXR an excrement cleaning robot. Cleans up all excrement from any surface." Myra turns to the robot, "EXR clean up Snuffles accident. " Myra said

"Don't call it an accide-!"

Jerry was cut off when the machine beeped and rolled on top of the pee stain. It sat on top of the stain for ten seconds wiring and then dinged. It rolled off the spot revealing a clean carpet.

"Wow." Morty said

"Cool." Summer said

Myra pets Snuffles, "There we go buddy. No mess no fuss."

The robot rolls out of the living room just as Rick enters it.  
Rick walked up to Myra and Morty, "Come on you two. I need your help tonight." Rick grabbed their arms and started to pull them out of the living room.

Jerry stops this by grabbing the other twin's arms, "Hey, wait, hold on a second, Rick. You wouldn't by any chance have some sort of crazy science thing you could whip up that might help make this dog a little smarter, would you?"  
"I thought the whole point of having a dog was to feel superior, Jerry. If I were you, I wouldn't pull that thread. Come on, Morty, Myra." Rick said, pulling the two again.

Jerry stops them again and pulls the twins back, "Listen, Rick, if you're gonna stay here rent-free and use my twins for your stupid science, the least you could do is put a little bit of it to use for the family. You make that dog smart or they're grounded!"

"Ha-ha!" Summer laughed  
"Aw, man!" Morty said

"Like that's gonna happen." Myra said  
Rick let's go of the twins, "Boy, you really got me up against a wall this time, Jerry." Rick walks out of the living room and goes into the garage. He quickly comes back with a helmet and puts it on Snuffles. He hits a switch and the helmet turns on glowing blue. "All right, Ruffles What's his name?"

"Snuffles." Morty and Myra state.  
"Snuffles, shake." Rick said, putting his hand out.  
Snuffles fully understands and gives Rick his paw and shakes it up and down.  
"Roll over." Rick said  
Snuffles rolls over.  
"Go to the bathroom." Rick said  
Snuffles walks out of the living room. After a minute the sound of a toilet flushing can be heard, and Snuffles returns.

"Holy crap!" Jerry said, amazed.  
"No way." Summer said  
"Yeah, you're at the top of your game now, Jerry. Have fun. Come on, Morty, Myra." Rick said, walking out of the living room.  
The three of them make their way to the garage.  
"That was fantastic, Rick!" Morty said  
"Yeah, Morty, if you like that, boy, you're you're really going to flip your lid over this one." Rick said

Rick pulls out a tiny metal earpiece like device.  
"W-w-w-what is it?" Morty asked  
"It's a device that when you put it in your ear, you can enter people's dreams. It's just like that movie that you keep crowing about." Rick said  
"You talking about 'Inception'?" Morty said  
"That's right, Morty. This is gonna be a lot like that, except, you know, it's gonna may-(Belch)-be make sense." Rick said  
"'Inception' made sense." Morty said

"No, it didn't." Myra said, crossing her arms.  
"You don't have to impress us, Morty. Listen, tonight we're gonna go into the home of your math teacher, Mr. Goldenfold, and we're gonna incept the idea in his brain to give you A's in math, Morty. That way you can, you know, y-you're gonna help me and Myra with my science, Morty, all the time." Rick said

"Geez, Rick, in the time it took you to make this thing, couldn't you have just, you know, helped me with my homework? Y-y-you even keep dragging Myra away so she can't help me either." Morty said  
"Are you listening to me, Morty? Homework is stupid." Rick said

"He's right." Myra interjects

"The whole point is to get less of it." Rick said

"Right again." Myra said  
The three of them get into the space cruiser and take off.

As Myra sits in the back seat she tries to find a comfortable position but the seat is god-awful.

"Jeez Rick, what is with the seat back here. I feel like I'm sitting on a bag of rocks." Myra said

"Your close." Rick said

"Wha-?"

Myra lifts up the cushion to the seat and finds a large bag of gravel. Myra looks back up at Rick with a blank face, "Really now."

"Hey, I built this fucking thing o-o-out of parts I found in the garage." Rick said

Myra just looks at Rick and puts the seat cushion back down. "Once we get back home I'm redoing this seat."

? ﾟﾒﾺ? ﾟﾒﾺ? ﾟﾒﾺ? ﾟﾒﾺ? ﾟﾒﾺ? ﾟﾒﾺ? ﾟﾒﾺ? ﾟﾒﾺ? ﾟﾒﾺ?

Rick, Morty, and Myra arrive at Mr. Goldenfold's house. They walk up to his window seeing what he was doing inside. What he was currently doing was watching TV on the couch and eating wheat thins.

"You don't know me!" The character Mrs. Pancakes says on the TV.  
Mr. Goldenfold laughs, "Nice, Mrs. Pancakes real nice." He said, tiredly.  
After a few minutes he falls asleep on the couch with the bowl of wheat thins resting on his stomach.

"Next week on 'The days and nights of Mrs. Pancakes'. You don't know me! Then let me get to know yo, damn it!" The TV said  
"Uh-oh! Spoilers!" Rick said, climbing through the window.

Myra climbs in the window, followed by Morty. "This place is so unclean." She said  
Rick grabs the remote off the ground and turns the TV off.  
Rick turns to the twins, "I'm a full season behind."

"Wow, Rick, I can't believe we're sitting around, standing around in Mr. Goldenfold's house. It's really weird." Morty said, looking around.  
"It's about to get a whole lot weirder." Rick said

Rick pulls out the inception earpiece devices and places them in everyone's ear. He flips a switch and they enter Mr. Goldenfold's dream, which seemed to be taking place on an airplane.  
Mrs. Pancakes was pushing a cart down the aisle, "Wheat thins. Wheat thins."  
Mr. Goldenfold stopped her when she reached him, "I'll take two." He said, holding up to fingers.  
Mrs. Pancakes puts her hands on her hips, "Oh, I think you've had enough, sir." She said, with a smile.  
"You don't know me." said

The two laughed and continued to talk.

Rick, Morty, and Myra sat in the back of the plane observing "s dream.  
"Alright, you two, time to make our move." Rick said  
Rick grabbed some sodas and a cloth and started to make something, while the twins wrapped their heads in a cloth.

"Make it bounce." said  
"No, you didn't." Mrs. Pancakes said  
"Oh, jiggle it now." said  
Mrs. Pancakes lightly slaps his shoulder, "You better stop with that."

Rick, Myra, and Morty jump out from the back disguised as terrorists. Rick was wearing the soda bottles as bombs.  
"We're gonna *blech* take control of this plane! Unless Morty Smith gets better grades in math!" Rick screamed, after he opened his lab coat.  
The passengers are frozen in shock but then started flipping shit. though is not fazed, he stands up from his seat and faces the three.

"Hey! I said nobody move, buddy!" Rick shouted, pointing at .  
reaches into the bowl of wheat thins next to him, "The name's not buddy. It's Goldenfold. Nice to wheat you!" He said throwing the wheat thins at them like throwing stars. The wheat thins hit the soda bottles piercing them making soda spill out. Morty tried to block them with his arm but cut him making him bleed. Myra took off her headdress and held it in front her like a shield causing the wheat thins to get stuck in it, but saving her face.

"Take cover!" Rick shouted, just in time.  
As soon the three duck behind the seats opens up fire on the three.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" yelled, while he continued to shoot.  
"Ooohhh!" Morty yelled, scared.

"What hell!" Myra yelled, wrapping up Morty's bleeding arm with the cloth he was previously wearing.  
"Goldenfold's got more control here than I anticipated. I mean, the guy teaches high-school math. *burp* I didn't take him for an active dreamer. We've got to take him out so he wakes up, but we can't get killed. If you get killed in someone else's dream, you die for real." Rick said  
"What?! Are you kidding me?! Ohhhhhh!" Morty said, spazzing out.

"Hey Rick! You could've mentioned that earlier!" Myra yelled, pissed.  
"Don't be babies! You avoid getting shot in real life all the time. Just do the same thing here, and we'll be fine!" Rick said  
Rick grabbed Mrs. Pancakes. "Goldenfold, we're coming out! We just want to talk!  
stopped shooting,"Why would I negotiate with you?"

"Because we're both rational adults that don't want anything bad to happen," Rick then jumped out from behind the seats holding Mrs. Pancakes, "And because I have a human shield."

"Mrs. Pancakes! AAAAAAAAHHHH!" said, freaking out.  
The Plane Passengers start to freak out even more than they did before and start running around the plane, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  
"Oh, no, Morty. His subconscious is panicking." Rick said, still holding Mrs. Pancakes.  
One of the Plane Passenger runs to the airlock, "Oh no! Run!", he opens the airlock causing everyone to fly out.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoooooaaaa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoooooaaaa!" Morty screamed, flying out, but he was caught by Myra who was holding onto a chair.  
The force of the wind pulling them out was too strong for Myra. Her hand slips causing Morty and her to fly out, followed by Rick.  
The three of them start to free fall to their doom.

Myra and Rick seemed pretty calm for falling to their doom, but Morty was screaming freaking out. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-!" Morty's screaming was cut off when Rick slapped him.  
"Relax, Morty. Look!" Rick said pointing to Mrs. Pancakes, "She has a parachute. Come on!"  
Rick, Morty, and Myra grabbed onto Mrs. Pancakes.  
"Hey, you don't know me!" Mrs. Pancakes said

"Oh, no, Rick, look! Goldenfold landed the plane, and he's created a mechanical arm to pluck Mrs. Pancakes out of the air while he lets us fall - into a giant vat of lava!" Morty said  
"Pretty concise, Morty. Looks like we've merely prolonged the inevitable." Rick said

"Rick that's it! Didn't you tell me that dream time runs slower." Myra said

"That's right Myra!" Rick said

"Uhh?" Morty questioned, confused

"Were going to prolong the inevitable! If we go into Mrs. Pancakes' dream, everything will go 100 times slower. That'll buy us some time to figure this out!" Rick said

Rick pulls something out from his pocket.  
"You don't know m-"  
Rick used the object to slap Mrs. Pancakes upside the head, knocking her out. He puts the inception device in her ear and they all travel in.

The three of the end up in some bizarre S&M dungeon filled with slimy and grotesque alien-like creatures. Mrs. Pancakes was on some type of throne wearing leather lingerie and whipping an old man who was on his hands and knees wearing a wizard hat.  
"Oh, man, Rick, this is pretty weird." Morty said

Myra just rubs her temples, "I have no comments right now."  
"Don't judge, Morty." Rick said

"Okay. All right, well Look, Mrs. Pancakes is right over there. I'll just go ask her to tell Goldenfold not to kill us when she wakes up." Morty said, about to walk over to her.  
Rick stops him, "Whoa, whoa, Morty, the trick to incepting is making people think they came up with the idea. Listen to me. If we're gonna incept Mrs. Pancakes, we have to blend." Rick takes off his clothes and puts on some S&M leather clothing and chains, "I'll talk to two after lunch."

Rick walks off some scantily clad creatures that resembled gnomes and were wearing animal masks.

Myra and Morty just stand there when they're approached by a monster that had the body of a woman with for breast but upper torso and head was an octopus with multiple eyes.  
"Ooh, hey!" The monster said  
Morty because instantly uncomfortable, "Ooh, oh! Oh, man."

Myra just ignores the creature and grabs Morty pulling him away.  
As Myra pulls Morty through the dungeon more creatures try to seduce them. As Myra guided Morty she was grabbed by a creature leaving Morty alone.

"Hey, who the hell?!" Myra yelled, turning around to see who stole her away from Morty.

Myra saw a creature that looked like a teen boy, but he had tentacles coming out of its back with suction cups all over his body, and one giant eye. He also had black hair and was wearing nothing but a black leather vest and thong.

"Heeeeyyy wanna join me?" the boy asked, but it sound more like a statement. When he opened his mouth black ink oozed out of his mouth.

Myra held up a hand and put up a finger, "Okay, first no, never gonna happen," She held up a second finger, "Second gross," She held up a third finger, "And third never gonna happen!" Myra finished angry. She tried to walk away but was pulled back by the boy.

"Don't be like that." The boy said, spitting ink onto Myra's face.

Once the ink hit Myra's face she grit her teeth and calmly grabbed the boys tentacles. Thinking that boy was getting her he displayed a small smile, but he was dead wrong.

Myra took the boys tentacles and wrapped one around his mouth and pulled tight making him gag on his ink saliva. She quickly used the other tentacles and hogtied him, letting him fall to the ground. She bent down to his level and smeared the ink that he spat in her face onto his.

"Neeevvverrr gonna happen." She said, then stood up.  
"Ohh! Oh! Gross! Gross!"

Myra heard Morty's distressed grossed out cries and headed towards him.  
Myra and Rick meet Morty and find him freaking out looking like he was going to barf.  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's the matter with you, Morty? Calm down! You're kind of killing the vibe in here." Rick said  
"It's Summer! Aw, geez." Morty said, pointing forward.

Myra grabs her face and covers her eyes, "My eyes! The image is burned into my retinas!"  
Rick grows a disgusted face as he looks at Dream Summer who's dressed in purple and black lingerie. "Looks like Goldenfold has some predilections so shameful he buries them in the dreams of the people in his dreams, including a pervy attraction to your underage sister."  
The Dream Summer crawls over to them, "Can you blame him? Come on, old man, little boy, little girl." She grabs them in a hug, "Let's make an inter-generational sandwich."

Rick, Morty, and Myra all pull away disgusted.  
"Oh, my God. Put some clothes on for the love of God Summer! Put some - I'm gonna puke! I swear to God I'm gonna puke!" Rick said  
"Oh, my God! Put some clothes on, for Pete's sake! This is disgusting! I can't take it!" Morty said

"Oh, my God! Nasty! Put on some- hugh I'm gonna hurl! Put on some fucking clothes!" Myra said

Everyone in the dungeon starts to notice them and stops what they're doing gathering around them. An angry centaur with a spear approaches the three.  
"Sexual hang-ups in the pleasure chamber are punishable by death! Off with their heads!" The Centaur yelled, pointing the spear at them.

The Centaur takes a swing at them but they dodge.  
Rick jumps onto the back of the Centaur and grabs him in a headlock. "Time to go another dream deep!"

The Centaur passes out and the three of them quickly enter its dreams.  
Rick, Morty and Myra land in a dark and horrid red rusted chamber that looks like a boiler room where the Centaur is curled up in a corner in fear sucking on his thumb.  
"What the hell? Why would Mr. Goldenfold's dream version of Mrs. Pancakes' dream version of a Centaur be dreaming about a scary place like this?" Morty asked, as the three looked around.

"Geez, I don't know, Morty. Wha-what do you want from me?" Rick said

Myra taps her chin in thought.

Morty notices his sister thinking face, "What is it Myra?"

"This place just seems really familiar." Myra said

The three of them turn towards a noise that sounds like metal scraping against metal. They see a shadow of a figure at the end of a hallway.  
"Welcome to your nightmare, bitch! RAAAAAWWWRRR!" The creature said, revealing itself and running after the three.  
"Oh, here we go!" Rick yelled, running away.

"Time to run!" Myra yelled  
"Ooooooohhhhh! Holy crap!" Morty screamed.  
The three of them start to run down the hallway being chased by the man.  
"Looks like some sort of legally safe knock-off of an '80s horror character with miniature swords for fingers instead of knives." Rick said

Myra smacks her head, "That's why this place looks familiar. I love horror stuff," She looks behind her, "not so much right now."

"I'm Scary Terry. You can run, but you can't hide, bitch!" Scary Terry yelled, waving his sword hands at them.

The three them had been running for a while. Scary Terry seemed to pop up in every corner and crevice of the place, he had even made his head appear through a small pipe. As they kept running they started to hear singing. When they turned another corner they saw a little girl wearing a dress and jumping rope with a blank expression on her face.

""A," "b" his name is scary Terry "C," "d" he's very scary." The girl sang  
"Holy crap! We have to escape into some-"

Before Rick could finish his sentence Myra had already knocked the little girl out.  
"Nice Myra." Rick said, putting the inception device in the girl's ear.

The three of them enter the little girl's dream but end up in the same place.  
""J," "k," he'll really ruin your day." The little girl sang, still jumping rope.  
"Are you kidding me? This again? Oh, man, it looks like we've hit dream bedrock here, you two." Rick said  
"Oh, geez, Rick. W-w-whoa, this isn't good." Morty said  
Scary Terry appeared right next to them, "Nothing but fear from here on out, bitch!"  
"Ohhhh!" "Ahhhhh!" Morty and Myra screamed.

The three of them start running.  
"Holy crap! He can travel through dreams. He can travel through dreams! We're so screwed!" Rick yelled, freaking out.

"I don't want to be killed by a knockoff!" Myra screamed

? ﾟﾘﾱ? ﾟﾘﾱ? ﾟﾘﾱ? ﾟﾘﾱ? ﾟﾘﾱ? ﾟﾘﾱ? ﾟﾘﾱ? ﾟﾘﾱ? ﾟﾘﾱ

Rick, Morty, and Myra had found a way out off of the horrific boiler room and were now running around a creepy abandoned town with scary yet lame street name, such as Spooky Blvd. The three were currently running down Scary Street. They seem to have lost Scary Terry and find an abandoned car. Rick gets in the driver's seat while Morty get's into the passenger seat.

"Make room Morty." Myra said, pushing Morty over and sitting next to him in the passenger seat. "The one who sits in the back is always first to go. Horror movie 101."  
Rick messes with the car attempting to get it running, "What are we here for again? Incepting? We're trying to incept-"  
"We're trying to incept me to get an "A" in math?" Morty said  
"Oh, yeah." Rick said

"Next time we do this the easy way Rick! I hack into the school's mainframe and change Morty's grade to an A before report cards are sent out." Myra said

"Isn't that kinda cheating?" Morty said

Myra rolls her eyes, "Oh and incepting your teachers dreams isn't? At least that way I wouldn't be running for my life."

Rick had finally got the car started and gave the twins a thumbs up making them smile, thinking that their ordeal might finally be over. That is until Scary Terry pops up right behind them in the backseat.  
"Buckle up, bitch!" Scary Terry yelled  
"Ooooooaaahhh!" Morty yelled, as all three of them jumped out of the car and started to run down Scary St again.

"I told you backseat equals death!" Myra yelled  
"Man, he sure says "bitch" a lot!" Morty yelled  
As to confirm Morty's statement Scary Terry yells to them, "You can run, but you can't hide, bitch!"  
"Hold on. Y-you know what? He keeps saying we can run but we can hide. I say we try hiding." Rick said, as they make their way behind an abandoned house.  
"But that's the opposite of what-"  
Rick cuts off Morty, "Yeah, well, since when are we taking this guy's advice on anything?"

"Good point, why should we listen to the guy who's trying to impale us?" Myra said  
"Hey, you know what? You got a really good point there, Rick, Myra. Like, if the truth was that we could hide, it's not like he'd be sharing that information with us, you know? I-I-I think it's a good idea." Morty said  
"Worst-case scenario we're back to running." Rick said

? ﾟﾒﾤ? ﾟﾒﾤSix Dream Hours Later ? ﾟﾒﾤ? ﾟﾒﾤ

Morty, Myra, and Rick had been hiding out in an abandoned house watching Scary Terry look for them. It seems like their hiding planned had worked out because he been able to find them once.

"Wow, you know what? I mean, it looks like we could have just hid this whole time. Boy, Rick, that was some good thinking." Morty said

"Smart thinking, Grandpa Rick." Myra said  
"Thanks, M's. Yeah, it's nice to be on the same page every once in awhile." Rick said  
"You can run But you can't hide!" Scary Terry said, lifting up a trash can lid. He put the lid back on when he saw nothing in it and let a yawn.  
"Oh, this is perfect. Look at that. He's getting sleepy. Just a little bit longer before he calls it a day. That's when we make our move." Rick said

? ﾟﾒﾀ? ﾟﾒﾀ? ﾟﾒﾀ? ﾟﾒﾀ? ﾟﾒﾀ? ﾟﾒﾀ? ﾟﾒﾀ? ﾟﾒﾀ?

Scary Terry was unable to find them and made his way home. His house was in pristine condition and looked very much out of place in the horror themed town. Morty, Myra, and Rick had followed Scary Terry home and watched him through the window. He entered his house where his wife was washing the dishes while their baby sat in a high chair.  
"Hi, honey. You're home early. How was your day?" Scarry Melissa said, greeting her husband.

"I don't want to talk about it!" Scary Terry snapped, at his wife.  
Scary Melissa got angry at this and snapped right back, "Oh, of course! You never want to talk about it!"  
"Get off my back, bitch!" Scary Terry yelled back.  
His outburst caused the baby to start crying.  
Scary Melissa picked up the baby, "Out there," She pointed outside, "Not in here!"  
Scary Terry calmed down, "Yeah, I know, I know. I shouldn't take my anger out on you or Scary Brandon. I love you, Melissa." He said, pulling his wife into a hug and kissing Scary Brandon's head.

"I love you, too, Terry." Scary Melissa said, pulling her husband into a deep kiss.  
"This is perfect. After a little scary coitus, they should be fast asleep and then we'll incept him." Rick said

⏲⏲⏲⏲ A Few Hours Later ⏲⏲⏲⏲

Rick, Morty, and Myra make their way into the house and find Scary Terry's bedroom. Once they enter they see Scary Terry and his wife asleep naked in bed. The bed was tore up clearly from the 'scary coitus' the sword fingered couple had engaged in earlier. Scary Terry was shifting in bed with a worried look on his sleeping face.

"Looks like scary Terry's having a nightmare." Rick said  
"Oh, boy, Rick. I can only imagine what horrible things must, you know scare Scary Terry." Morty said

They enter his dreams and find themselves sitting in the back of a classroom with teens who look similar to Scary Terry.

"Makes sense. School is the epicenter at which most psychological nightmares stem from." Myra said  
The bell rings and Scary Terry enters the room, but without his pants.

The Teacher enters the room and starts the lesson.

Rick, Morty, and Myra pay no attention to the teacher until he addresses Scary Terry.  
"Ah, well, Mr. Terry, why don't you tell the whole class the proper wordplay to use when one is chasing one's victim through a pumpkin patch?" The Teacher said, walking up to Terry and placing his sword hands on Terry's desk.

Scary Terry looks nervously at the teacher, "Oh, uh, um ... Bitch."  
At his answer the class starts laughing at him making Myra raise her eyebrow.  
The Teacher gets closer into Terry's face, "Oh, come on, Terry, you can't think of a pun involving pumpkins, bitch?"

"Hey, leave him alone!" Morty said, pointing at the teacher and making an angered face.  
Rick stands up from his desk, "Yeah, this is a bunch of bullcrap. Who cares what stupid pun you make when you kill someone? Why don't you let the poor guy say whatever he wants?"

"Yeah asshole. The whole point of being a killer is killing, not what you fucking shout out." Myra said, angry as well.  
The Teacher seems put off by the three of them who were ganging up on him, "Well, I never! I-I see no reason to stand here and take this."

The Teacher walks out of the classroom.  
Rick puts his hand on Scary Terry's shoulder, "You're putting too much pressure on yourself, Scary Terry. You know, I mean, y-you're perfectly scary enough as it is."

"Yeah man, high schools stupid anyway. Your very scary no matter what you yell." Myra said, bumping shoulders with him.

Morty walks up holding a pair of pants, "Hey, yo, scary T., don't even trip about your pants dawg. Here's a pair on us, fool."  
Scary Terry takes the pants from Morty, "Aww, bitch. I don't know what to say."  
"You don't need to say anything. We got you, dawg." Morty said, throwing up a peace sign which Myra quickly slaps down.

"We got your back ST." Myra said  
"You're our boy, dawg. Don't even trip." Rick said

? ﾟﾒﾭ? ﾟﾒﾭ? ﾟﾒﾭ? ﾟﾒﾭ? ﾟﾒﾭ? ﾟﾒﾭ? ﾟﾒﾭ? ﾟﾒﾭ? ﾟﾒﾭ? ﾟﾒﾭ?

Scary Terry wakes up from his dream with a smile on his face to see Rick, Morty, and Myra standing next to his bed.

They wave at him, making his smile grow wider.  
"Oh, hey, it's you guys!" Scary Terry said, sitting up from his bed.

? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ

Scary Terry had invited them to breakfast. Morty, Rick, and Scary Terry were sitting down drinking coffee, while Myra was sitting playing with Scary Brandon in her lap.  
Scary Melissa collected the dishes and looked down at the table smiling, "I haven't seen him this relaxed in years."

"If you guys ever need anything, just say the word." Scary Terry said, placing a sword hand on Rick's shoulder.  
"As a matter of fact, Terry, there is something you could help us with." Rick said

As Rick explained their situation to Scary Terry, Scary Melissa approached Myra.

"You're very good with him." Scary Melissa said, looking down at a smiling Scary Brandon in Myra's arms.

"Oh well you know, I'm a young woman. Naturally equipped with maternal instincts." Myra said, holding Scary Brandon up making the baby giggle.

"Yeah but you've got something special. You'll be a great mother someday." Scary Melissa said

A blush appeared on Myra's cheeks, "Uhhh *cough* yeah." Myra said, embarrassed.

Myra had never been out on a date or had a crush. The idea of having a kid was foreign to her.  
Myra was brought out of her thoughts when her Grandpa called her to get ready to leave.

Rick grabbed onto Scary Terry's back, then Myra and Morty grabbed onto Rick's. They bid their farewells and Scary Terry moved them up the next dream level.

* * *

 **** **"'** **Q,' 'r,' you won't get very far." The little jump rope girl sung.  
** **"** **I always hated that song!" Scary Terry yelled, cutting her head off.**

The little girl wakes up and sits up from the ground and rubs her eyes, as the others make their way to the Centaur. The Centaur is still cowering in the corner sucking his thumb when they approach him.

"These halves don't belong together, bitch!" Scary Terry, yelled cutting the horse and man parts of the Centaur.

The Centaur wakes up and they're back in the S&M dungeon.  
"Sex is sacred!" Scary Terry yelled, extending his arm to Mrs. Pancake where he cuts her into slices like a Christmas Ham.

Mrs. Pancake wakes up and they're back to where they started, hanging onto Mrs. Pancakes as they parachuted over a vat of lava. Scary Terry detaches himself from the rest and turns himself into a missile, launching himself at Mr. Goldenfold.

"This is because you don't give Morty Smith good grades, bitch!" Scary Terry yelled  
Once Scary Terry makes impact Mr. Goldenfold jumps awake, knocking over the bowl of wheat thins on his stomach, and is clearly shocked and scared.  
"crap! God damn! I know one thing for sure I'm giving Morty an "A" in math, and that's my idea. That is an original thought." Mr. Goldenfold said, nodding his head and walking out of the living room.

Rick, Morty, and Myra appear from the back of the couch and fist bump at their accomplishment.

They climb back out of the window and make their way into the space cruiser and took off home.

"I've got to hand it to you Rick. It was a crazy idea but it worked." Myra said

"*burp* I knew it would." Rick said as they approached the house.

For a second Myra thought she was still in someone's dream because the house was surrounded by dogs in robotic suits and the rest of the family was tied up in the backyard.  
"What the hell?" Morty said

"Out of the frying pan dot, dot, dot, huh, you two?" Rick said

"Oh, man, what's going on?" Morty asked

"Obviously dad shouldn't have made Rick make Snuffles smarter." Myra said

"It's possible that your dog became self-aware and made modifications on the cognition amplifier, then turned on Jerry, Beth, and Summer after learning about humanity's cruel subjugation of his species, but your guess is as good as mine." Rick explained, somewhat sarcastically.

The three of them landed and snuck their way into the backyard.  
"I can't believe how mean snuffles got just because he's smart. This is why I choose to get C's." Summer said  
"Psst, Beth, Jerry, Summer." Rick said, from a bush.  
"Dad!" Beth said, as Rick walked over and lasered off their collars.

"Rick!"

"Oh, thank God. Morty, Myra." Summer said, bring the two into a hug and pressing her chest closer to their faces.  
"Oh, you're welcome." "Uh yeah, good you're okay." Morty and Myra said, uncomfortably as they pushed Summer away.

"All right, let's get out of here. If we hurry," Rick pulled out his flask and took a few chugs, "we can set up camp in a sewer tunnel or something before the dogs completely take over."

Jerry put his hands up, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're not going anywhere. This is my house. I'm not abandoning it."

"I don't think you should get say, since you single-handedly sparked the downfall of mankind." Myra said

Jerry points down at Myra, "Hey young lady yo-"  
"It's all over, Jerry. The dogs are on a path to total world domination. But, hey, at least they know not to piss on your carpet, right?" Rick said

"Wait a minute. I have an idea." Jerry said

He walked over to the house and approached the back door.

"He's so screwed." Myra said, with the rest of the family nodding their heads in agreement.

They all followed Jerry to seem him open the door and addresses the dogs, "Gentlemen, a moment of your time."

Jerry pulled down his zipper and started to pee on the dog's box of weapons, "See that? I'm peeing all over your special guns. That means I own them."  
Snuffles approaches Jerry just as he was pulling down his pants to take a dump on the carpet. Snuffles grabs Jerry's head and rubs his face in the pee, "Bad person. Bad."  
"Ooh, great plan, Jerry." Rick said

"Haha talk about deja vu." Myra said  
"Bring the twins to me." Snuffles said, to a dog while he counted to rubs Jerry in the pee stained carpet.  
Two dogs grab Myra and Morty and guide them to Snuffles. Snuffles sits down in a chair that was guarded by two Doberman's in weapon style robotic armor.

"You were always kind to me, Morty. That's why I will leave you with your testicles. From now on, you will be my best friend and live by my side." Snuffles said, pointing to a pillow next to him.  
"Th-thanks, snuffles." Morty said

He goes up to the pillow and sits down as Snuffles pets him.

"As for you Myra. You were always so gentle and gave me respect. So you too shall live by my side." Snuffles said

"Cool." Myra said, joining Snuffles on the opposite side of Morty.  
"Begin phase two." Snuffles said

"Fighting continues as the dog army captures the eastern seaboard. It appears clear at this time that the era of human superiority has come to a bitter end." A news anchor reported.  
In the middle of her report two dogs burst into the news studio, "Please! Please don't kill me!"

One of the dogs puts a muzzle on her silencing her pleas.

"What's she saying, bill?" A bulldog asked

"I think she's saying, 'I love lasagna.'" A Doberman replied

? ﾟﾐﾶ? ﾟﾐﾶ? ﾟﾐﾶ? ﾟﾐﾶ? ﾟﾐﾶ? ﾟﾐﾶ? ﾟﾐﾶ? ﾟﾐﾶ? ﾟﾐﾶ?

Myra was currently dressed in a bathing suit lounging by an indoor pool. A dog dressed as a butler came in and brought her a smoothie.

"Thank Fido." Myra said, then took a sip of a drink. "Mmmh, Ah Fido you know how to make the best smoothies." Myra said

"Thank you Myra." Fido said, petting Myra on the head.

Myra saw some blue hair move over by a bush. "Hey Fido, why don't you bring one of these to Morty. I'm pretty sure he could use one."

Fido walks out of the pool area leaving Myra alone. When the dog completely disappears behind the door, Rick pops out of the bush carrying a baseball bat.

"It's about time Rick." Myra said, standing up from the pool chair.

"W-whatever. Let's go find your brother so we get this over." Rick said

Myra leads Rick out of the pool area to Morty's room where Fido was about to give Morty his drink.

"Thank you, Fido." Morty said, layed up in a bed with two women.

Rick runs up and hits Fido in the back knocking the dog out.  
"Rick! I thought you were dead!" Morty yelled, surprised to see Rick.

"No, no, no, I was just playing dead." Rick said, throwing the baseball bat away.  
"Good news, though, Morty. This whole thing's gonna be over really soon." Rick said  
"What?" Morty said, confused

"It's a dream, Morty." Myra said

"We're in your dog's dream." Rick said  
"The night the dogs captured us, after you cried and crapped your pants, we all went to sleep. Then I used my dream inceptors to put the three of us inside snuffles' dream." Rick

"But I-it's been like a whole year!" Morty exclaimed

"It's been six hours." Rick said  
"Remember Morty, dreams move one one-hundredth the speed of reality." Myra said

"In dog time is one-seventh human time. So, you know, every day here is like a minute. It's like 'Inception,' Morty, so if it's confusing and stupid, then so is everyone's favorite movie." Rick said

"Aw, man. I really liked this life." Morty said, as the two girls in the bed clung onto him.

"Me too Morty." Myra said

"Well, at least I didn't really crap my pants." Morty said

"Actually…." Myra said  
"No, no, that happened before you went to sleep, Morty. You're sleeping in your crap right now." Rick said, causing the two girls to cringe and move away from Morty.

"Oh whatever bitches, your not even real." Myra said, getting the two girls out the bed and pushing them out of the room.

"Out of all the things that happened to you, that was the only real thing that, you know, is that you crapped your pants. I mean, it's a mess out there. I got some on my hands, Morty, and then I got it on the dream inceptor, and a piece fell in my mouth." Rick said

"Okay Rick, that's descriptive enough." Myra said  
"Aw, man, geez! Seriously?" Morty said, saddened

"Look, d-d-d-don't worry about it, Morty," Rick pulls out some pills and hands them to Morty, "Here, here take these, Morty. Take these."  
"Are these pills supposed to wake me up, or something?" Morty said

Morty took the several pills and swallowed them all.

"Close. It's gonna make your kidneys shut down." Rick said  
"What?!" Morty shouted

"What the hell Rick!" Myra said

"It's necessary for the plan, and need you to take some too Myra." Rick said, handing Myra the same pills.

Myra glares at Rick but grabs the pills swallowing them, "If I die I will find a way to haunt you."

Rick pet the sides of Morty and Myra's face, "Don't even trip, dawg."

* * *

 **** **"** **It's pretty bad, emperor snowball. We're gonna need to do another operation." Rick said, disguised as one of the hyper-intelligent** **dogs** **.**

Morty and Myra were both laid out on hospital beds deathly pale and hooked up to various machines, with Snuffles in the middle holding both of their hands.  
"Anything. Anything for my precious Morty and Myra." Snuffles said

A Shih Tzu wearing a tie approached Snuffles with a clipboard, "Sir, as your accountant, I must advise you that these medical expenses are putting you in serious financial jeopardy. You could lose your kingdom."  
Snuffles slams his fist on a table, "To hell with my kingdom, bean counter. I would trade it all for my human's health and happiness." Snuffles said, petting the twins heads.  
"Do you think they would have done this for us?" The accountant said

"We are not them! We are not them." Snuffles said, with realization.

Snuffles wakes up with startled bark and gets into his robotic suit. "Assemble the troops. I've made a decision." Snuffles said

? ﾟﾐﾩ? ﾟﾐﾩ? ﾟﾐﾩ? ﾟﾐﾩ? ﾟﾐﾩ? ﾟﾐﾩ? ﾟﾐﾩ? ﾟﾐﾩ?

Everyone was now outside of an animal shelter where other dogs were being led out and into a portal.

"Taking over the human's world will lead to nothing but more heartbreak, more cruelty. Instead, we will go to a new world and colonize it with a society of intelligent dogs, one that will not make the same mistakes as humanity and one where pet insurance will be mandatory." Snuffles said

"I'm gonna miss you, Snowball." Morty said

"Me too Snowball." Myra said  
"You can call me Snuffles, I'm going to miss you both, too, very much." Snuffles said, bringing the two into a hug. As he pulled away he gave the two a lick on the forehead.

"Wait." Myra said, digging into her pocket. She pulled out EXR remote and pressed the button calling the robot.

"Here Snuffles." Myra said, giving Snuffles the remote.

"Thank you Myra." Snuffles said

He walked over to the portal and jumped in with it closing behind him.

"Jerry?" Beth said, when she noticed him crying.

"I'm sorry. It's just like the end of 'Old Yeller.'" Jerry said, holding his eyes.

"Oh, Jerry," Beth wrapped Jerry in a hug and rubbed his head, "You mean because it had dogs in it."

"Yeah, except Morty and I didn't shoot Snuffles." Myra said, offhandedly.  
"Wow! A whole world populated by intelligent dogs. I wonder what it'll be like, Rick" Morty said

"I think it will be great, Morty. You know it could be developed in-into a very satisfying project for people of all ages. I mean, I'd watch it, Morty, for at least 11 minutes a pop. You know, may-maybe they'll do it board-driven." Rick said

"You know, that's a real comforting idea, Rick." Morty said

"What do you know, Morty? What do you know?" Rick said

End


	4. Anatomy Park

**Anatomy Park**

Ah Christmas. Myra always found Christmas to be a bittersweet holiday. Ever since she was a little girl she found the very idea of an overweight man breaking into everyone's house to drop off gifts in one night to be a little far-fetched. But she played along with the idea for Morty until they turned 10 when she could no longer prolong the inevitable reality of Christmas. Boy was that a Christmas to remember.

Even though Christmas wasn't her favorite holiday, she enjoyed making gifts for the family rather than buying them. Whenever someone would ask her why she would just says she doesn't want to support the big fat cat's of corporate America who's using the holiday season to drain as much money from the working class as possible. But deep down she does it because she wants to give a gift with real meaning and thought behind it.

Right now Myra was finishing up wrapping her gifts for the family.

"Okay let's see if I've got everything." Myra said

She laid out the finely wrapped presents out on the floor. "Let's see, Mom, Morty, Dad, Summer, Grandpa Rick, Grandpa Leo, Grandma Joyce, aanndd the last minute guest Jacob."

Once Myra had doubled checked that she had everyone's gifts, she gathered them up and put them in her closet. After the presents were hidden she grabbed her laptop and headed down stairs.

Myra made her way to the living room where she saw her Mom on a recliner messing with a tablet, Summer on the couch texting joined by Morty who was playing a game on his tablet.

"Ahh the 21st century." Myra said to herself.

She made her way to the back of the couch and hopped over it landing on Morty and Summer.

"Hey watch it!" Summer said protecting her cellphone.

Morty just scooted over too engrossed in his game.

Myra made herself comfortable on the couch between her two siblings and opened her laptop.

She put in some headphones and started to play some music while she filled out some college applications. Myra and Beth had decided on six college's and Myra decided to apply to them all seeing who would fight the most to win her over. It was decided that Myra would start college in the spring and that she would attempt a double major, she just hasn't decided what major's yet.

* * *

The Smith family, beside Jerry where all content on their technological devices bringing peace to the household. Unfortunately that piece was about to be broken by a man in a candy cane apron.

Jerry who had just finished cooking made his way to the living room to see his family all on their various devices.

"Ummm Merry Christmas. Heeeelllloooo? My parents are coming over for the first time in years, can we stow the gadgets and look alive." Jerry said walking to the middle of living room.

Beth looked up from her tablet, "Alive? For your parents."

"Nice one." Myra said still staring at her computer screen and giving her mom an air high five.

Jerry walked up to her with a stocking, "Hm good one." He said taking her tablet.

"Hey man!" Beth said once the tablet left her fingers.

"You hey man. This holiday is about humanity." Jerry said

"You know, I thought it was about being born half god or something." Morty said still playing his game.

"He's actually kind of close." Myra said

Jerry face palmed himself, "Whatever, all electronics in the stocking now." Jerry said holding out the big red sock.

"Ohhh." Morty said placing his tablet in the stocking.

"Dad I'm not giving you my phone." Summer said crossing her arms.

"I'm with Summer." Myra said

"Put it in the stocking Summer, or I'm joining Facebook." Jerry said with a smug grin.

Summer gasped and put her cell phone immediately in the stocking.

Jerry turned his attention to Myra and he held out the stocking.

"Hey, you can join Facebook." Myra said

"Stocking now Myra." Jerry said

Myra not in the mood for an argument closed her laptop and put it in with an angry grunt. She'd figure a way to get back at him later.

"Annnnnnddddd." Jerry said knowing Myra had more tech on her.

"Fine." Myra said

Myra took off her touchscreen watch that she made and pulled her phone out of her pocket, and dropped them both in the stocking.

Once Myra dropped her phone in the front door opened.

"A hohohoho everybody." Rick said walking in the front door with a man who appeared to be homeless dressed like Santa Claus.

"A wowowo." Jerry ran up to Rick, "My parent's are gonna be here any minute, what is this."

"Calm down Jerry. This is Ruben an old friend." Rick said putting his arm around the man.

"Pearl Harbor." Ruben randomly said.

"I check on him every year and give him a *burp* medical evaluation." Rick said

"Awwww. Dad that is so sweet." Beth said

Jerry narrowed his eyes at Rick, "Yeah it is. I don't get it."

"Don't worry about your C-C-Christmas Jerry *burp*, I'll be with Ruben in my workshop while you guys are having another day in Phil Collins' proverbial paradise." Rick said, walking off with Ruben.

"Huh? You think you know a guy." Jerry said

As the family watched Rick walk off with Ruben they heard the doorbell ring signaling the arrival of their Christmas visitors.

"Okay that's my parents. Now, remember no tv, no phones, no laptops. We are connecting this Christmas, like old-school Jews on a Saturday." Jerry said throwing up two peace signs.

Myra slapped them both down. "If I won't let Morty do it you can be sure I won't let you."

Jerry just rubbed his hands and then answered the door.

"Hey hey." Jerry said as he opened the door.

"Merry Christmas." Leonard said as he walked in with his wife Joyce.

As Jerry was about to shut the door another man pushed it back open surprising Jerry.

"Uhhh hi, can I help you?" Jerry asked

"Jerry, this is Jacob. Didn't you get our text message?" Joyce asked grabbing the young man's arm.

"No." Beth, Summer, and Morty said, with frowns.

"Yes." Myra said

Everyone looks at her. "I like to sometimes monitor the signals that come in and out of the house when I'm bored." Myra said crossing her arms.

No one seems surprised except for Jerry. Before he could open his mouth Jacob speaks up.

"You must be Jerry. That's a fine looking apron William Sonoma." Jacob asked

"I wish heh," Jerry looked down at his apron, "but thank you." Jerry said, as he closed the door. "So you're a friend of the family?" Jerry asked nervously.

"As we see it he's apart of the family." Leonard said

Joyce started to take off her jacket and scarf, "After you fathers brush with cancer and losing your uncle we looked at life and wondered how have we've spent it, and how are we gonna spend the rest of it? What are we gonna be when we die? A list of fears and questions, or a collection of real experiences."

"Holy crap Joyce that's amazing." Beth said

"Then Jacob came into our lives and were learning to live again." Leonard said

"All three of us." Jacob said bringing Joyce and Leonard into a hug.

Jerry's mouth just hung slightly open and he shifted his eyes, "Cooool. Eggnog?"

"Now we are talking. This man has got the apron and the eggnog." Jacob said

"Hahahaha." Everyone laughed

While everyone was laughing Rick had finally decided to join the rest of the family and strolled in with his hands behind his back.

"Hi Joyce, Leonard, Hello there," Rick said addressing Jerry's parents and Jacob, "Morty, Myra, a moment of your time."

Rick calmly walked the twins away from the family but as soon as they were out of eyesight Rick started to run to the garage dragging the twins with him.

He threw the door open and the two teens were greeted with a spasming Ruben on a ping pong table, hooked up to a heart monitor.

"He's in bad shape, you two." Rick said picking up a stethoscope.

"Oh Jeez Rick what'd you do?" Morty asked

"Jee thanks Morty. What kind of monster do you think I am?" Rick asked walking away to grab something.

Myra opened her mouth about to say something but stopped, "Nah too easy."

Rick picks up two white backpack type devices, "I-I-I'm sitting here trying to save the guy's life," He puts the packs on Myra's and Morty's back, "I need your guys help." He puts an earpiece on the two, "I wantcha you two to find Dr. Xenon Bloom, he'll know what's going on."

"Do we get to know what's going on, and who is Dr. Bloom?" Myra asked

"Uhhhhh." Morty said with uncertainty.

"Where do we find this doctor?" Myra asked

Rick picked up two clear helmets, "In Ruben." Rick said, putting the helmets on the twins.

"Ruben Minnesota?" Morty asked as Rick whacked the helmet down on his head because it got stuck.

"Ruben on the table." Rick said, making the two face the dying Ruben.

"Wait do you mean-!?"

Before Myra could finish her sentence Rick picked up the twins and put them on a small platform that had a laser hanging above it.

"Hold your breath during the process or your lungs will collapse." Rick said turning on the beam.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" The twins screamed as they were shrunk down into a small canister.

Rick picked up the canister and placed it in a needle. He jammed the needle into Ruben's chest just as Beth walked in.

"Hey dad where's Morty and Myra." Beth asked

"Thier *burp* busy." Rick said

* * *

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Morty and Myra screamed as they were floating in some type of liquid that suddenly started to fall at a rapid pace. They felt like they were in a waterfall until they finally landed on the ground or what they thought was the ground.

Myra landed on top of Morty with a thud. Instead of getting up Myra takes in her surroundings. The walls and ground seemed to be moving and the area was pink and purple with vein-like structures.

For a second Myra's brain short circuited because she couldn't believe that her Grandpa did what she thought he did, but then she finally realized she was dealing with Rick.

"Myra, Morty, can you hear me? Head north." Rick said over the radio-com.

"Rick where are we." Morty said still under his sister.

Myra finally snapped out of her stupor and got off of her brother and helped him up. They started to walk further, heading north like Rick said.

"Depending on my aim you two should be just south of the entrance." Rick said

"Entrance?" The twins questioned

The twins saw a light around the corner and made the turn and what they saw blew their minds.

"Welcome Morty. Welcome Myra. To Anatomy Park." Rick said

Morty gasped at the theme park and Myra rubbed her eyes not believing Rick built a theme park inside a man's body, it was crazy but at the same time genius. I guess that's why he's mad scientist.

"It's a little business venture I've been working on with Dr. Bloom." Rick said

Morty and Myra walked up to the entrance and jumped over the turnstiles.

"An amusement park inside a human's body. Science isn't *burp* cheap this should really put a dent in the overhead." Rick

Morty and Myra walked around and gazed at all of the attractions.

"Oh my god! This is insane." Morty said

"I'll say. Hey Rick could I get on this, as you said science isn't cheap." Myra said

"I will need someone else to help make sure I *burp* don't get screwed over. We'll talk later." Rick said

"Look at that Spleen Mountain, Bladder Falls, Pirates of the Pancreas." Morty said as they passed each attraction.

"Y-you got a problem with that last one Morty?" Rick said

"Uh? No no, I'm just reading them out loud in the order that I'm seeing them." Morty said

The twins walked over a bridge that flowed over a river of blood and had red blood cells floating down the river.

"Okay alright, if I sounded a little defensive its cause Pirate of the Pancreas is my baby. You know I-I-I got a lot of push back when I pitched it. I'm still a little defensive. Find Doctor Bloom a-alright. I-I'm picking up a distress signal in the liver you two, proceed to the liver." Rick said

Myra and Morty stopped by a sign that showed the directions of the various attractions and started to run in the direction that pointed to the Haunted Liver.

They found a tram and hopped on it.

The tram sped off at a fast pace, Myra being the smarter of the two siblings held onto the pole while Morty just stood extremely close to the door.

"Arriving at the Liver." A female voice said over an intercom.

Morty's previous decision proved unwise because as soon as the tram stopped he was thrown forward and hit his head on the door.

"Ow!" Morty said as he grabbed his head. He looked over at his sister who had a small smile on her face. "Why didn't you tell me?" Morty asked

"Well if I tried to correct everyone one of your mistakes Morty you'd never learn." Myra said with a smile.

She put a handout and helped him up off the ground and they both exited the tram.

Once they stepped out of the tram the previous cheerfulness from the other part of the park was gone and it was replaced by a creepy misty area.

Myra was unfazed, she rather enjoyed the spooky scary things in life, but Mory thought otherwise.

"It's really scary in here Rick." Morty said

"The Liver is under maintenance. Ruben's seen some rough years, don't judge. You don't agree to have a theme park built inside of you if your life is going great." Rick said

Morty and Myra made their way inside the haunted house. The Victorian Style house was done quite well, it actually impressed Myra.

"AAAGGGHHH!"

"WHOAAAAAA!" Morty screamed

An animatronic werewolf had popped up behind the twins. Myra once again was unfazed but Morty screamed and jumped into his sister's arms.

"It's a monster!" Morty screamed as he pointed at the fake wolf-man.

Myra just raised her eyebrow at her brother, who was shaking in her arms.

"No Morty. The only monster here is alco-*burp*-holism. That's an animatronic werewolf." Rick said

Myra just sighed and put Morty down, but as soon as she put him down a hand reached around the corner and grabbed Morty's neck.

"Who are you?!" The man holding Morty's neck said.

Myra in the defense of her brother jumped on the man's other arm and wrapped her legs around it grabbing his wrist.

"Ahhhhrggg!" The man said

"Let him go or I snap your wrist!" Myra yelled

He tried to shake of Myra while he still held a tight grip on Morty.

"Our Grandpa Rick sent us!" Morty screamed

"Poncho! That's quite enough." An amoeba man with a cane said.

The three stopped and Myra unlatched herself from Poncho's arm as the man put down Morty.

"Morty, Myra, that's Poncho," Two more people walked up behind the man, "This is Roger and Annie."

"Whoa." Morty said staring at Annie.

Myra just snorted, "Hormones." She mumbled

"And I'm Doctor Xenon Bloom." The man introduced.

A small mic came out of Morty's helmet.

"Hey Bloom it's Rick. What the hell's going on here?" Rick asked

"I don't know why, but the entire security system has shut down. And I'm afraid that the exhibits are unlocked." Bloom said with an ominous tone.

"Exhibits?" Myra questioned.

Bloom led the twins out of the house, "Anatomy park's greatest attraction isn't the music, or the food, or the _Pirates of the Pancreas-_ "

"Watch it Bloom." Rick interrupted

"It is first and foremost a living museum of humanity's most noble and voracious diseases." Bloom said dramatically.

"Diseases?" Morty said worried.

The group heard a large growl from behind them.

"Aw shit." Myra said

A giant clawed arm reached around the corner, and a large yellow fanged creature came into view.

"Hey Doc I've got news for ya. The museum is officially a wild safari." Poncho said pulling out a gun and shooting at the creature.

"Hepatitis A! Run!" Roger yelled

The group started to run as Hepatitis A started to chase after them.

* * *

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Poncho screamed as he continued to shoot at Hepatitis A.

The group had continued to run and made it to a door where Dr. Bloom led them inside.

"Hepatitis A won't follow us into the respiratory system." Bloom said

Poncho fired off a few last rounds and closed the metal door. The group ran but not before they saw Hepatitis A make a large dent in the door.

The came upon another door labAlveolievoli Forest.

Roger looked at a dial next to the door and tapped it, "Strange air flow is down 20%."

"So the brain isn't getting enough oxygen, that's why security is down." Bloom said

"Well I guess we better check it out." Morty said

Roger opens up the door and lets everyone in. Just as he was about to close the door someone ran in.

"Wait." A man in a cartoon dog suit said.

As he stepped through the door he took off his head.

"Put that back on!" Bloom yelled

The man glared at Bloom before he put the head on.

"Why is a dog the mascot?" Myra questioned

"It was Bloom's idea." Roger whispered to her.

The group walked further in the room. As the sign said they were in a forest but it was made of lung tissue that inflated and deflated everytime Ruben breathed.

"If we walked up to Bronchial Catwalk we could look for a blockage." Roger said

Morty put his hand up, "I-I'll do it."

Morty gave off an awkward laugh before he jumped up into the living forest.

"Don't be a hero kid." Poncho said

"I'm not, I'm doing it because it's fun." Morty said

Myra elbowed Poncho, "You got this Morty!"

Morty was flung further up the forest jumping around having fun.

Poncho who was displeased by Myra's previous action and growled at the girl. Myra not intimated by the large man growls right back. She knew guys like this, he thinks just because he's strong he can do what he pleases. The two get into a glaring contest until Poncho stops to mess with his gun.

"We shouldn't be here." Ponncho said to Bloom.

"Whatever you do, do not fire that thing in here. We must save Ruben, this is my lifes work." Bloom said

"Ahhh!" Annie screamed

Bloom and Myra walked over to the girl and saw a black mass with yellow pus on the bronchial tubes.

"It's all right my dear, nearly all human lungs contain a strain of bacteria," Bloom pokes it with his cane, "but the scar tissue keeps it dormant." Bloom said

"Uhhmmm Bloom?" Myra said pointing out broken bacteria sacks.

Bloom gets a scared look on his face and looks up, "Morty! Get down!" Bloom yelled

"Whoa!" Morty said as he was flung up to the catwalk and grabbed onto the edge.

Unfortunately at the same time several creatures headed towards him. "Ahh-wo!"

Moryt scared slipped and fell off the catwalk and bounced down until he landed back next to the group.

"W-What are those things!" Morty yelled.

"Tuberculosis coming in fast!" Bloom said

"Not faster than a bullet! Ahhhh!" Poncho said shooting.

Bloom grabs Ponoch, "No! Do you know what you've done!"

When Poncho shot at the disease he tore holes into Ruben's airwaves. This caused him to cough heavily which caused a large wave of air, lifting the group off the ground.

When he breathed out the group dropped back down and they took this opportunity to run.

"Get to the digestive track he's coughing." Bloom said

The group ran as fast as they could.

Almost all of them were in the clear until Ruben made another cough which caught the Mascot Man. He held onto a piece of flesh and reached out to Morty and Myra. Myra held on to Morty giving him some leeway to reach out to the man.

"Don't let me die!" He yelled

He reached out and connected hands with Morty.

"Your not gonna die. What' your name?" Morty asked

"My name is AlexanDDDDDDEEERRRRRRR!" The man screamed.

The air flow was too strong and sucked him up.

Morty just started at where the man had gone but Myra pulled him forward.

The group continued to run until they came upon a tunnel and crawled through. They crawled until they made it to the end and they all fell out of the tunnel ontop of eachother.

"Rick R-R-Ruben's got Tuberculosis." Morty said

"Great work. Now I'll just cure it…."

Rick stopped talking.

"Uhhhh Rick?" Myra asked

"Okay well I can't cure death. This is bad you two, you're trapped in a dead man. Listen if the situation keeps dark do yourselves a favor and pop by Pirates of the Pancreas. Obviously I'm biased but I think it great you two. P-P-*Burp*-Pirates running around the pa-pa-*Burp* pancreas. We don't white wash it either the pirates are really rapey. The top priority is you know to get you guys out of there, I'm just saying if that becomes an option. Please you gotta treat yourself." Rick said

Everyone got an angry look on their face after Rick finished talking.

* * *

The group had continued to walk and made their way into the food court.

Poncho and Roger were in Panda Express looking for supplies.

"What's that horrible smell?" Morty asked

"You mean the Panda Express?" Bloom joked "Hahah kidding."

Myra just sighed and shook her head at the lame joke.

"The body is beginning to constrict and fill with gas. Were inside a corpse my boy, Anatomy Park is doomed." Bloom said

"Seriously you're still worried about this damn park!" Myra yelled

"Yeah forget about the park Doctor, how do we get out!" Morty yelled

"The digestive tract is the evacuation route. Get it," Bloom smiled, "There's an emergency station in the colon with a ray that can enlarge us all." Bloom said

"Everybody head for the colon." Moryt said as he started to walk on.

Poncho glared in Morty's direction, "Now I'm taking orders from a twelve year old boy."

"Hey!" Myra said getting Poncho's attention. She pointed two fingers at her eyes and at Poncho's indicating that she was watching him. She gave him one last glare before she ran to catch up to Morty.

Morty, Myra, and Bloom were walking slightly ahead of the group.

"Morty, Myra, the scar tissue sacks containing the Tuberculosis was sabotaged. This disaster was an inside job. Keep your eyes on Annie. She was written up several times by her manager at the Churro Stand." Bloom whispered.

Myra grabbed her chin and had a thoughtful look on her face, "Hmmmm."

Roger walked up next to the three, "Intestines are ahead to the left, then the right, then left, etc."

Bloom followed behind Roger and he was followed by Poncho and Myra, leaving Morty alone with Annie.

"Hey just so you know I-I'm actually fourteen. So you know." Morty said

"What?" Annie said

"Not twelve." Morty said

"Oookay." Annie respond

"You know because he just said I was twelve." Morty said pointing at Poncho.

"Oh good for you." Annie said perplexed. She pulled ahead to the rest of the group, and walked next to Myra.

"Let me guess, my brother was acting weird." Myra said

"Yeah." Annie said

Myra just giggled and shook her head.

* * *

The group had got on a boat and were now riding down the small intestine. The problem was it was one of those long animatronic singing boat rides that lasted forever, and everyone but Bloom was ready to take their chances with the diseases instead of having to listen to the singing any longer.

"It goes on like this for miles." Roger said with a frown.

"Then we get to large intestine." Bloom said with a happy smile

"Out of all the things to keep running it had to be this." Myra said with a groan.

"Shhh I hear something." Poncho said pulling out a flashlight and shining it on the water.

Suddenly the water, or digestive juices they were riding on, rose up and a large disease with six eyes and fangs rose out of the water.

"Don't move. Gonorrhea can't see us if we don't move." Bloom whispered

Gonorrhea roared and swam closer to their boat raising four tentacles at them.

"Oh wait that's wrong I was thinking of a T-Rex." Bloom said quickly and scared.

Ponho raised his gun just as Gonorrhea jumped back in the water creating a large wave tipping the boat over.

Everyone fell out and into the 'water'.

"Move!" Poncho said

Everyone started swimming and made it to the shore.

"Were sitting ducks!" Annie screamed

"Doc didn't you say that the body was filling up with gas!" Morty said

"Why?" Bloom questioned

"Brilliant Morty!" Myra said proud of her twins idea.

"Kid you're a genius." Poncho said pulling out a match.

"Are you mad?!" Bloom said

"Run! This way!" Myra yelled running into a cave.

Everyone followed Myra into the cave and ducked for cover.

"Hey Gonorrhea hows this for a burning sensation." Poncho said lighting the match.

He threw the match in the direction of Gonorrhea and it exploded on impact, charing up Gonorrhea and killing it.

Annie smiled and hugged Morty making him laugh.

* * *

After a lot of running the group finally made it to colon.

"I should be able to access the backup generator to get the ray going. If it works we should be regular size in a few minutes. I just hope Ruben's not in a room with white carpets or upholstery." Roger said running to the growth ray.

A groaning sound goes off behind them.

"What the hell is that?" Poncho asked

Everyone looks behind them to see a giant metal dam that was slightly bulging.

"The sphincter dam. We built it when Ruben became incontinent, but it was not designed to hold a corpse load." Bloom said

The sphincter dam continued to groan as more feces built up behind it and started to strain against the metal doors.

"Almost got it. Everybody move inside the circle!" Roger said

Morty was distracted when he saw a black creature appear out of Poncho's back.

"Poncho what is this in your backpack?" Morty asked

Poncho turned around to face Morty giving Bloom a full view of the disease he was hiding in his bag.

"That's Bubonic Plague. What are you doing with that Poncho?" Bloom said

Poncho scooted back away from the group and grabbed Annie, holding a knife to her throat.

"Everybody get back!" Poncho yelled

"Poncho you son of a bitch. You released the Tuberculos so you could steal them from me." Bloom said

"Haha that's right baby. A lot of people would pay top dollar to decimate the population. I'll take the highest bidder, Al-Qaeda, North Korea, Republicans, Shriners, Balding men who workout, People who use the internet and are only turned on by cartoons of Japanese teenagers. Anything is better than working for you. You pompous, negligent, Itunes gift card giving as a holiday bonus giving mother-"

"Raaaaaw!"

Poncho was cut off when Morty jumped on him.

Morty attached himself to Poncho's face and tried to hit him, but Poncho easily threw him off.

"Hahaha!" Poncho laughed until he heard a click.

He turned to face Myra who had a smirk and holding one of his guns.

"What?! How did you get that!" Poncho yelled

"I stole it." Myra said simply. "I knew as soon as Bloom said someone sabotaged the Tuberculosis I knew it was you. So when you weren't looking I stole one of your guns, just incase something like this were to happen before we were returned to normal size."

"But how did you know?!" Poncho said with anger and disbelief.

"Cause I'm a genius bitch!" Myra said

Just as Myra was about to pull the trigger Bubonic Plague appeared over Poncho's shoulder and bit him.

"Ahhhhh get off!" Poncho yelled

Myra used this opportunity to push Poncho over the edge.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Poncho yelled as he fell.

The group watched him fall until the dam behind them started to groan even louder indicating that it wasn't going to hold much longer.

"You guys!" Annie screamed pointing at the dam.

"It's gonna burst! Go go go!" Roger yelled pointing to the exit.

He stayed to pull a lever but his foot got caught in the process.

"My foot is stuck!" Roger yelled

"NO!" Annie yelled trying to go back but was pulled back by Morty.

"It's okay. It's okay, just go. Tell my family I love them. They may be hard to find because my wife kept her last name and she made the kids take it too. So well I don't know you could Google it-"

*BOOM*

Unfortunately Roger never got to finish his sentence because he was washed away by the feces that rushed out of the dam once it bursted open.

Bloom quickly locked the door sealing the entrance way.

"No!" Annie yelled at the door. She cried and pulled Morty into a hug.

* * *

The group had made their way into a moving theater where an animatronic Ruben introduced himself and Anatomy Park.

Morty and Annie however were paying no mind as they made out.

Myra ignored the horny couple and joined Bloom in eating large cartons of Ice Cream.

"Morty you wanna put it on mute or something I-I'm trying to concentrate." Rick said interrupting the two.

The couple stopped for a few seconds and then went right back to making out.

"Hey! Can you get to left nipple!" Rick suddenly yelled out through the com-link.

"Are you kidding I'm hoping I could get to both of them Rick." Morty said with Annie on his lap.

"Idiot, thinking with your dick." Myra said picking up the helmet. "Rick just tell me the plan, Morty's a little preoccupied."

"Okay Myra, you need to get to Ruben's left nipple." Rick said

Suddenly their surroundings started to violently shake like an earthquake. Morty took his helmet from Myra's hands and put it on.

"We need to get to left nipple!" Myra said

Myra and Annie put on their helmets too just as Ruben's flesh started to peel around them.

"The body is decaying! The arterial transit system is useless! We can try the surface shuttle it's connected to the skeletal system. That why we call it the bone train." Bloom said

He suddenly got a coy look on his face and walked up to Annie, "Would you like to ride the booone train miss?" Bloom asked with smile.

"If it'll get us out of here faster, yes." Annie said

Bloom goes to Morty and Myra, "Would you Morty, you Myra, like to ride the bone train?"

"Why are you doing this bit? Were gonna die. Let's go." Morty said walking away.

"Your just full of it, hmmmm?" Myra said raising an eyebrow and folding her arms. She just shook her head at Bloom who had a confused look and followed Morty and Annie.

* * *

The four had made their way to the train, because Myra refused to call it the bone train.

Bloom was messing with the controls, "There's no autopilot. One of us will have to stay here and operate it manually."

Bloom looked at the three teens who just looked right back at him.

"Uh well.." Morty said after a few moments of silence

Myra cocked an eyebrow at Bloom.

"No no, you're right it was a dick move to even pause like that. All my fault you go on." Bloom said

The group heard a hissing sound coming from the stairwell and and saw a swarm of creatures approaching them quickly.

"What the hell is that?" Annie said pointing at the creatures.

"E Coli outbreak. Hurry!" Bloom said pointing at the train doors.

"Ahhhh!" Morty yelled as him, Annie, and Myra ran onto the train.

Bloom messed with the controls to the train, "Oh wait there is an autopilot. Wait!," Bloom was swarmed with E Coli, "It's okay, nevermind I wanted to sacrifice myself anyway!"

As they rode the train E Coli decided to hop a ride too and managed to break through the door.

"It's chewing through the doors!" Annie yelled

"Morty fire extinguisher!" Myra yelled

Morty grabbed the fire extinguisher and beat back the E Coli.

"We're in the areola Rick, so we're almost to the nipple. But were in a really bad situation." Myra said

"I'm almost there Myra." Rick said

Morty continued to beat back the E coli that kept trying to get in the train through the windows.

They made their way to the front of the train, but there was a little problem.

"Oh my god the track!" Morty yelled

The track up ahead had been destroyed and on it was Hepatitis A.

"Shit! It's back!" Myra yelled

Morty grabbed the brakes and pulled them back, "AHHHHHHHH!"

The train wheels screeched as it tried to stop. It ended up jumping the track and breaking through a flesh wall, throwing around the three teens inside.

The train finally came to an abrupt halt and ejected the three out through the window.

"AHHHHHH!" The three yelled as they landed.

They all stood up and got an unexpected but beautiful view.

"The nipple hole. It's beautiful" Annie said in awe.

The hole gave the three the perfect view of the earth orbiting in space, with sun right in the background.

Thier awe moment was cut short when the top of the train broke open and Hepatitis A broke out. "OH NO!" "AHHHHHHHHH!"

The teens screamed as they tried to outrun the disease.

They thought they were done for when Hepatitis A was suddenly snatched up in different diseases mouth.

"Whoa it's Hepithits C!" Annie siad

Hepatitis C gave them a thumbs up before it stomped away.

"What the hell was that about?" Myra asked

"Uhhhmm d-did we have some sort of relationship with that guy?" Morty asked

"I think they're just like that. I think that they're just good guys." Annie said

"Oh huh." Morty said

"Let's just get the hell out of here." Myra said

Once Myra finished her sentence Rick flew into the nipple hole in his space cruiser.

He opened the door and let the three in, "Where's Doctor Bloom?"

"I'm sorry Rick, he's dead." Morty said

"Yep." Myra said

"Damn it. I asked you two to do one thing." Rick said

He flew out of the nipple hole and a few seconds later Ruben exploded.

* * *

As the four made their way back home they saw the snow covered houses and roads were still covered in snow but they were also covered in blood and chunks of flesh.

Rick opens the garage door and pulls in, "It's too bad about Doctor Bloom, he was a genius. He was the only man capable of creating a new Anatomy Park."

"Actually I studied Doctor Bloom's work. I-I-I believe I have the knowledge necessary to create an entirely new safer park." Annie said

"Whaaaat about Pirates of the Pancreas?" Rick asked

"I think it was one of the most underrated attractions." Annie said with a sly smile.

"Booyah!" Rick said fist pumping the air.

He puts another helmet on Annie, "Hold your breath."

He shrinks her down surprising Morty.

"H-Hey whoa wha what the hell man. I really liked her. I really had something going there." Morty said

"Yeah so I heard *burp*." Rick said

"And I saw." Myra said

"You dodged a bullet Morty. Trust me floppy vagina." Rick said and then walked out.

"What's wrong with that. That doesn't sound like a problem to me. I don't know." Morty said

"Oh Morty." Myra said

Rick popped his head back in the door, "C'mon, let's get some stuffing I'm starving."

Morty and Myra followed Rick out of the garage.

They made it to the living room and saw everyone on their devices.

"Oh unbelievable, we got a bunch of robot computer people. Sitting around stuffing their faces in computer screens. You guys realize Christ was born today. Jesus Christ, our savior was born today. A-Are you people even human? What kind of Christmas is this." Rick complained

Myra went next to Jerry and pulled her touch screen watch out of the stocking.

She pressed a button and everyone's devices turned off.

Complaints could be heard all around the room.

"Listen up I spent a long time on these gifts and you're going to enjoy them with your full attention." Myra said

Myra pressed another button on her watch and a robot came down to the living room holding a sack of presents.

"Thank you." Myra said taking the sack.

She set the sack down and passed out the presents. Everyone opened their presents and loved what Myra had made.

She didn't smile but on the inside she was filled to the brim with joy.


	5. M Night Shaym-Aliens

**M. Night Shaym-Aliens**

"Whoo what a workout. I'm home!" Myra said, as she walked through the front door.

Beth and Jerry decided at the age of 4 Myra and Morty should take up an extracurricular activity. They tried the basic sports such as soccer, baseball, basketball, but the twins weren't built for running for a long time. They made great sprinters but not distance runners. Beth picked gymnastics next unfortunately after the first week Morty broke his arm, cutting his extracurricular activity search short. Although Myra took to gymnastics like a fish took to water.

Myra had been taking gymnastics for 10 years but after 3 years she wanted to take self-defense classes. Beth wouldn't allow her to quit gymnastics because even though Myra didn't like it she was a natural.

So they made a deal Myra could take her self-defense classes but she had to stay in gymnastics and if her grades started to slip she had to quit the self-defense classes.

Myra being a genius easily kept up with her grades and her extracurricular activities.

Myra decided she would take up Judo and after 2 years of that she added boxing to her schedule.

Myra wasn't built to do a lot of things but she picked the few activities she could excel at.

Myra had just arrived home from her boxing lesson and her gymnastics class.

She walked into the kitchen where she saw Morty eating and her mom drinking coffee.

"Hey you guys. Where's the rest of the family?" Myra asked

Morty just shrugs his shoulders.

"Summer went out. Rick disappeared, and lord knows what your father is up to." Beth said

Myra took this answer and grabbed a water out of the fridge and went up to her room.

* * *

Myra had taken a shower and was now relaxing on her bed doing some research on her laptop.

A few hours had passed and the sun was setting outside.

"Let's see if I-"

A book fell off Myra's shelf surprising her.

"The hell?" Myra said getting off of her bed.

She went to pick up the book when another book fell off of her shelf.

Suddenly the whole room started to shake.

"W-What the hell is happening!?" Myra yelled

Suddenly everything stopped.

"No way that was earthquake." Myra said

She stuck her head out of the window and saw everything normal as usual. That's when a bright light hit her causing her to cover her eyes.

She looks up into the sky but then she starts to feel her feet lift off of the ground and pulled her out of window.

"Whoa wha what hell?!" Myra yelled

She grabbed onto the windowsill which prevented her from floating any further into the sky.

The force that was pulling her up got stronger but she held strong. Suddenly the force stopped and the light vanished, dropping Myra.

"Ahhhhhhh!" Myra screamed as she held onto the windowsill.

She started to pull herself back up through the window when the light came back and caught her by surprise making her lose her grip on the windowsill. Since she let go she started float rapidly into the sky. After a few feet she started to lose consciousness and blacked out.

* * *

"Uuugh wha what happened." Myra said groggily.

Myra slowly opened her eyes as she regained consciousness.

"Where the hell am I!" Myra yelled taking in her surroundings. She could tell by the equipment and the window next to her she was in some kind of spaceship.

She tried to move her arms but found them strapped down, as well as her legs.

Myra struggled at the restraints but it was no use.

"Arg! When I found out who did this, they are so dead!" Myra yelled

Myra's ranting was cut off by a door opening. Pink aliens walked in followed by a taller alien wearing a cloak.

"Who the hell are you?!" Myra yelled

"We are the Zigerion's and I'm their Prince Nebulon." Nebulon said

"Yeah I don't care, what do you want?" Myra said

"Hehe well we were originally after your Grandfather Rick but when we discovered you we had to keep you for ourselves." Nebulon said

"Ohhhh my god." Myra said

"Buuuut we got an offer from our friend here and we're selling you." Nebulon said

"WHAT!" Myra said

"Here she is in pristine condition just like you asked." Nebulon said

The figure in the cloak walked up to Myra and grabbed her chin and studied her face.

"Yes she's perfect." The cloaked figure said

He reached into his cloak and pulled out an electronic card, "Everything you want is on there."

Nebulon snaps his fingers, "Wrap her up for our friend here."

Two Zigerion's grab Myra who struggled and tied her up.

The cloak alien grabbed Myra, once she was tied up, and put her on his shoulder.

"Before you go." Nebulon said

He grabbed Myra's hair and took a large whiff, "Ahhhhhh." Nebulon said with ecstasy.

Myra cringed at the act and pulled her head away.

The cloak alien pulled out a portal gun and opened a portal.

"It was nice doing business with you." He said and walked through the portal.

* * *

 **"** **Hahah Oh my god, Rick. How dumb are you? You're inside a simulation of a simulation…inside another giant simulation! W-we never had the recipe for concentrated dark matter. But we do now! We do now, sucka!" Nebulon said**

"You simulated my grandson's genitalia?! Y-y-you bunch of diabolical sons of bitches!" Rick said

"Kevin fought real hard to supervise that project." Someone said  
"You said you weren't gonna tell anyone! I'm never gonna live this down, am I?" Kevin said  
"All right. Okay. All right, great. Wonderful. You win. Can we go home now?" Rick said  
"I don't know. Can you?" A Zigerion said

"Ha!," Nebulon fist bumps the guy, "Nice. Okay, okay. Show this gullible turd to his shuttle. I'm done with him. Oh, wait. Let me get a picture," He snaps a selfie of himself with Rick, "Aww. Look at his face. He's trying to figure out if He's in a simulation still. Are you, Rick? Are you? You're not. Or are you? Oh, a-and, by the way, I don't have discolored butthole flaps. That was part of the simulation." Nebulon said  
"Oh. Uh, sir, should I cancel that appointment, then?" Cynthia said  
"Yeah! Of course you should!" Then he whispers to Cynthia "No, keep it. Move it up, actually, if you can." Nebulon said

He watches Rick and Jerry get in the shuttle.

"Oh we also kidnapped and sold your Granddaughter!" Nebulon said

"What!" Jerry screamed as the shuttle door closed.

* * *

The figure in a cloak with an angry teenager popped out of a portal.

"What the hell! What do you want!?" Myra screamed on the aliens shoulder.

"You're going to be an offering." The alien said

"An offering!? You're gonna sacrifice me?!" Myra yelled

"No. I am an incredible bounty hunter whose name reaches the far ends of every universe, and today I shall claim my greatest reward. By offering you to the royal family I shall-!"

THUNK

The alien dropped to the ground paralyzed. While he was monologuing Myra had slipped her hand out of her bindings. Those stupid Zigerion's might have been able to tie her up but they did a crappy job. This allowed her to be able to reach her watch and cut her bindings. Once she did that she used a paralyzing pin that doubled as her one of her earrings.

"Now let's see." Myra said rummaging through the cloak looking for the aliens portal gun.

"Ah ha!" Myra said pulling it out.

She turned a dial on the gun and pressed a button but the screen turned red and it short circuited in her hands.

"What! You've got to be kidding me!," Myra turns to look at the paralyzed alien, "You made your portal gun self-destruct when your DNA doesn't activate it."

Myra frustrated chucks the portal gun as far as she can.

She turns to walk away but before she does she crouches down at the aliens level, "Punch in the face!" Myra said punching the alien and running off.

* * *

Myra had walked what seemed like for hours. The planet she was on seemed like something out of a dark comic on earth. The terrain was creepy with dead woods all around and it was clearly night but the moon was orange and there so happened to be three of them.

Myra had kept walking hoping she could find someone to help her or at the very least a ship she could steal so she could go home.

Myra stopped when she heard a rustling in the trees next to her.

"Damn it I don't need something trying to eat me right now." Myra said

She kept walking but the noises got louder. Myra looked over at the tree's seeing them move.

Suddenly two red eyes with black square pupils appears in the shadow of the trees.

"Okay whatever it is I can handle it." Myra said

Then those two eyes turned in four which quickly turned into six.

"Aw shit." Myra said

* * *

 **Few hours earlier on the opposite side of the planet**

"I'm Florcha and here we are live at the ceremonial bride picking for Prince Mason." Florcha said

A large crowd surrounded a large gothic like castle.

"Today thousands have traveled across the universe to offer a bride to the young Prince Mason. As we all know whoever Mason picks will be the future Queen of the Dew Solar System, and the person who delivers the future Queen will receive riches beyond belief." Florcha said

 **Inside the Castle**

"Mason you open this door this instance!" A shrill woman's voice screamed through a door.

Instead of waiting for the door to open the women blows it open with fire. A women or more like demon enters the room. She has three eyes which were red with anger, pink hair, two goat-like horns, pale skin, and a slim scaly tail.

"Thomas it is time for the ceremony and-!"

The women stopped when she see's no one in the room.

"MASON!"

* * *

"WHOOOOOOO!"

This was the amused yells of the young prince known as Mason. He was currently running around the fields of his home world chasing after monsters and taking in the scenery.

Mason was a rather attractive young man or alien. He looked a lot like his mother. He had pink spiky hair, three eyes that when angered turned red, pale skin, ram-like horns, sharp teeth, and a slim scaly tail. On his tail he wore a ring with the family crest on it. From all the time that he spent sneaking out and fighting the creatures that live on his planet Mason built up quite the toned body, many girls from across the universe flocked to him, especially today. He was supposed to pick someone to marry today but he didn't want some unintelligent bubble head who couldn't take care of herself. He'd rather slay beast than find pretty girls.

Mason had been away from the castle for a few hours really enjoying himself when he heard the distinct sound of someone fighting.

He climbed over a hill where he could see the dead forest. In a clearing there was a young girl fighting off a Trandlue. A beast with six eyes and three heads. It resembled a giant snake but had arms although no legs. Its scales were incredibly hard so much so it's what the soldiers at his kingdom used for armor and weaponry. The only way to defeat the creature is to attack the soft underbelly.

Mason sat down and watched the girl trying to defend herself he could only see her back but he could tell she's been roughing it for a while by the tears in her clothes and the cuts on her body. He was instantly interested in the girl. Most women would run and scream or they would have been eaten instantly, but this girl was fighting back and she was winning.

Myra right now was not in a good mood. First she was kidnapped, then sold, and then was going to be an offering. She was pissed and now this alien in front of her was trying to eat her. Oh hell no she was not going to go out this way.

Myra was jumping, dodging, and doing whatever she could to avoid the creature. She was studying the creature seeing how she could kill it. At first she threw one of her paralyzing earring but it couldn't break the scales.

That's when Myra noticed that no matter how much the monster moved it always kept its stomach low to the ground.

"Ahh so that's your secret." Myra said

Myra stood completely still. All three heads attacked at once. Myra jumped out of the way and kicked dirt up into the creature's eyes. She may not have gotten dirt all the eyes but it was enough to distract the alien. It used its arms to wipe out its eyes, this causing it to lift up off of its stomach.

Myra quickly climbed up a tall tree. Once she was at the top she got the creatures attention.

"Hey ugly!" Myr yelled

When the alien looked at her Myra jumped down from the tree with a sharp stick in her arms.

"YAAAHHHHHH!" Myra yelled as she fell down in attack.

RAAAAAAAAAWR

Myra stabbed the beast in the belly and it screamed in pain. It withered in pain for a few moments before it fell over dead. Myra jumped off of the alien's stomach huffing.

"You were amazing." Mason said

Myra turned around when she heard a voice and pointed her watch at the boy walking up to her.

When Mason's eyes connected with Myra's he was instantly hooked. She was the most glorious creature he had ever seen. He was already infatuated when he saw her fighting but looking at her beauty was mesmerizing.

"Who the hell are you!" Myra said

Mason put up his hands in surrender, "I'm not going to hurt you, I'm Mason." Mason said bowing.

Myra raised an eyebrow not use to these type of manners, "Myra. My name is Myra."

"Its nice to meet you Myra. I have to say you defeating a Trandlue all by yourself was incredible." Mason said walking slowly over to Myra.

"Trandlue? Is that what that thing is?" Myra asked

"Yeah. They're caught for their meat and the scales are used to make weapons and armor." Mason said

Mason stood right next to Myra and her cheeks turned a little pink. She had to admit even though this guy was an alien he was really cute, but she was going to stay cautious.

"Well Mason. Could you tell me where I am. Some crazy guy kidnapped me and I ended up escaping before I ran into that thing." Myra said

"Well you're on the planet Zido." Mason said

"Yeah I have no idea where that is." Myra said

"Well if you walk with me I could explain more and answer any questions you have." Mason said holding out his hand.

Myra looked at the teen alien's hand and back at his face. He didn't seem harmful and she was lost. She placed her hand in his and he started to guide her out of the forest.

" _Oh well if he tries anything I still have my earrings."_ Myra thought

* * *

Myra and Mason had been walking and talking for what seemed like ages, but they didn't notice because they were really enjoying their time with each other. Mason had showed her the best places. There was the lava springs, screaming caverns, and the river that flowed backwards. Myra really enjoyed everything Mason showed her. She had never met a boy like him before and really found him interesting.

"So you're a Prince." Myra said

"Yeah it's not all that glamorous." Mason said

"No need to explain I get it." Myra said

The two were now walking back to Mason's home, where he said he could provide transportation for her home.

As they continued to walk they came upon a large castle that had an even larger crowd around it.

"Wow." Myra said

"C'mon we can sneak around the back." Mason said grabbing Myra's hand.

The two snuck around the back of the castle to a wall. Mason walked up and pulled a brick loose. It came out half way and Mason pushed the wall revealing that it was actually a door.

"Heh it's how I sneak in and out." Mason said guiding Myra in.

They entered a tunnel and the decor reminded Myra of the Catacombs of Paris.

"Uh sorry about the you know skulls." Mason said

"No it's fine. I actually kind of like it." Myra said

Mason blushed at her words, this girl was perfect.

They soon reached a ladder.

"Okay so this leads to one of the hallways. Once we're in we'll sneak into my parents room. That's where they put my universe traveler." Mason said

"Why do they have it?" Myra asked

"It got taken from me when I used to sneak off to a wild party." Mason said

"Nice." Myra said

"Ladies first." Mason said to Myra and pointing at the ladder.

Myra blushed and climbed up the ladder.

When she reached the top she pulled off a grate and climbed through followed by Mason.

"Quickly." Mason said grabbing Myra's hand and pulling her through the hallways.

He stopped running and grabbed Myra close. He hid them behind a tapestry just as guards walked by. Once they were gone Mason pulled Myra back down the hallway.

"Okay let's move." Mason said

They quickly made it to a door and Mason opened the door and peeked in.

"Okay coast is clear." Mason said

They entered the room quietly shutting the door behind them.

Myra whistled at the highly decorated room, "Your parents sure have taste."

Mason ran to the closet and opened it rummaging through it.

"No no no no a-ha found it now I've-"

"Mason!"

Mason slowly turned around and looked at the door standing there was his mother and father.

They were both clearly pissed off.

"Where have you been the ceremony started an hour ago and you have everyone waiting!" Mason's mother yelled

"Mom you-"

"You've done it now!" Mason's father yelled

"But I-"

"No buts you're going to-!"

"Excuse me!" Myra said cutting off Mason's mother.

All eyes were now on Myra.  
"I'm sorry I may not know what fully is going on here, but you son here was just helping me." Myra said

"Mason who is this?" Mason's father asked

"This is Myra, and she's the most enchanting creature I've ever met." Mason said

Myra's eyes widened and she looked away red staining her cheeks.

Mason's mother's anger quickly changed to happiness.

"Oh Mason! I must tell everyone the good news!" His mother said running out of the room.

"Wait dear!" Mason's father said running after his wife.

"Uhhh that was odd." Myra said

She turned to Mason who was fiddling with the portal device. He hit a button and opened a portal.

"Soooo this should take you home." Mason said rubbing the back of his neck.

"Uhmm I... what you said back there-"

"It's true and I would really like to see you again." Mason said

"Uh yeah that'd be nice." Myra said

"Here," Mason reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like a whistle, "It's a summoning device all you have to do is blow on it and it'll summon a ride for you."

"Thanks." Myra said taking the whistle.

Myra turns to jump into the portal but quickly give Mason a kiss on the cheek and puts something in his pocket before she jumps in.

Mason just held his cheek and checks his pocket. There was a slip of paper with her name and number.

"That girl. She's gonna be my Queen." Mason said

 **Outside**

"This is Florcha with updating news Prince Mason has chosen a bride. A human from the planet Earth by the name of Myra. You have it there folks, the bride to be and future Queen of the Dew Solar System is Myra of planet Earth." Florcha said

* * *

"Rick this all your fault!" Jerry yelled

"How's *burp* this my fault!" Rick said

"Myra got kidnapped!" Jerry said

As soon as Jerry and Rick landed on Earth Jerry had started a fight with Rick.

"You ass my daughter is floating in space somewhere!" Jerry yelled

"Myra's a smart girl she'll find her way home, a-a-and if she's not here in a week I'll get her." Rick said

"A week Rick-!?"

Jerry was cut off when a black portal opened up next to them. Out of the portal came Myra.

"See I-I told ya." Rick said taking a drink and walking inside.

"Myra I-!"

"Not now dad I need some sleep." Myra said walking inside.

Myra made it to her room and laid on her bed ignoring how gross she was from her little adventure. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the whistle. She smiled at it and put it on her night stand before going to sleep.


	6. Meeseeks and Destroy

**Meeseeks and Destroy**

Rick, Morty, and Myra were on an abandoned space station that was about to be sucked into a black hole.

"Run!" Rick yelled

Right now Rick, Morty, and Myra were being chased by what appears to be their very own family.

The aliens that looked like Beth, Jerry, and Summer tackled Rick making him drop some type of remote. Myra and Morty run but Myra falls when the Summer clone grabs her ankles. The remote Rick had dropped and slid across the floor to where Morty was. Morty picked up the remote.

"Morty, do it! Hit the button now!" Rick yelled

"I can't do it, Rick! They're my parents and sister!" Morty yelled

"Morty, I already told you it's not your family! They're clones from an alternate reality, possessed by demonic alien spirits from another dimension's future! Do you need a mnemonic device or something? Just hit the button, already!" Rick yelled

"Morty push the fucking button!" Myra yelled

Morty nervously looked up at Rick and Myra.

The Beth alien walked up to Morty and made a sweet loving face, "Morty, please, I love you, sweetheart."

"BITCH!" Myra yelled still being held down.

"Ohhhhh!" Morty said and pushed his fake mother away. He jumped away and slid across the ground plugging the remote into the wall and hitting the button.

A device on the floor opens and the alien Beth, Jerry, and Summer are sucked into a device. As they were sucked in their faces morphed into demonic aliens scaring Morty. Rick and Myra were able to get up and walked over to Morty.

Rick picks up the device and opens a portal and the three run through ending up home in the garage.

"Oh! Good work, Morty. You know, these demonic alien spirits are really valuable," Rick looked over to Morty who was vomiting while Myra rubbed his back, "You okay, Morty? I told you not to trust that tuna."

Morty wiped his mouth off and looked at Rick, "I just killed my family! I don't care what they were."

"I don't know, Morty. Some people *burp* pay top dollar for that kind of breakthrough." Rick said

"You know what, Rick? That's it! I'm done with these insane adventures! That was really traumatizing! I quit! I'm out!" Morty yelled at Rick

"Calm your ass down Morty. This isn't the worst thing that happened to us." Myra said

"Yeah, Morty. Your sister was captured to be some alien sex slave and you don't see her complaining. Come on, Morty, don't be like that. The universe is a crazy, chaotic place. You're the one that's crazy and chaotic!" Rick said

"Adventures are supposed to be simple and fun," Morty said

"Oh, yeah, Morty, yeah. Yeah, that that that's real easy to say from the sidekick position. But but, uh, how about next time *burp* you be in charge, and then we'll talk about how simple and fun it is?" Rick said

"Seriously, Rick? Y-You'll you'll let me call the shots?" Morty asked

"Yeah, Rick you're gonna let Morty call the shots?" Myra asked with a sarcastic tone and raising one eyebrow.

"Yeah, but let's make it interesting, Morty. I-I-If your adventure sucks and we bail halfway through it, you lose the right to bitch about all future adventures. Plus, you have to do my laundry for a month." Rick said

"Okay, all right, tough guy! But if my adventure's good... I get to be in charge of every third adventure!" Morty said

"Every 10th." Rick countered

"Deal. All right. Well, come on, let's get going." Morty said grabbing Rick and Myra's arms.

They were all quickly stopped when Beth walked into the garage, "Dad, the dishwasher's doing that thing again."

"Washing dishes?" Rick said with sarcasm.

"No. The opposite. Can you fix it?" Beth asked

Before Rick could say anything Beth walked into the garage with a notebook, "Grandpa Rick, can you help me with my science homework?"

"Yeah j-just don't do it," Rick said

"Grandpa!" Beth said

That's when Jerry decided to make his appearance, "Hey, Rick, you got some kind of hand-shaped device that can open this mayonnaise jar?"

"Idiot," Myra said shaking her head at her father.

"Wow. Hat trick. All right, Morty, Myra, let's put a pin in this. I got to help your pathetic family." Rick said

"Oh, that sounds like something a chicken would say. Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk." Morty said flapping his arms like a chicken.

"Oh, Morty, you done did it this time. It's on. I can't wait to watch your adventure lay a huge fart," Rick turns to Beth, Jerry, and Summer, "As for you ding dongs…" Rick pulls out a blue box with a button on it, "This is a Meeseeks box. Let me show you how it works. You press this."

Rick presses the button and a blue figure appears.

"I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!" Mr. Meeseeks said

"You make a request. Mr. Meeseeks, open Jerry's stupid mayonnaise jar." Rick said

"Yes, siree!" Mr. Meeseeks said while taking the jar from Jerry.

"The Meeseeks fulfills the request," Rick said

"All done!" Mr. Meeseek said as he handed the now opened jar back to Jerry.

"Wow!" Jerry said as he took the jar.

"And then it stops existing," Rick said as Mr. Meeseek exploded in blue smoke.

"Oh, my God, he exploded!" Beth said

"Trust me, they're fine with it. Knock yourselves out just keep *burp* your requests simple. They're not go-*burp*-ods." Rick said

"All right! Get out of here now! Everybody out of here! I got a bet to win!" Morty said pushing Jerry, Beth and Summer back out of the garage.

* * *

Morty had chosen a random destination on Rick's portal device, and now they were in some storybook cottage. Even though Morty acted like he meant for them to end up there Myra knew better, she just hopes Morty and Rick's stupid bet didn't get her killed, she had a date coming up after all.

"God, Morty, what a boring start to an adventure. Why didn't we just go to Kentucky?" Rick said

"Rick, this is a fantasy-type world with creatures and all sorts of fantasy things. We're going on a quest, okay?" Morty said leading Rick and Myra further into the village.

"Can't wait," Rick said with little enthusiasm.

"Me either," Myra said with the same tone.

Morty leads them to the town square where he stands on a box to address the people, "Ahem. Excuse me! We are three humble heroes in search of adventure!" Morty yelled

People actually gathered around and listened to Morty surprising Rick and Myra.

"For the love of-" Myra said

"Oh, my God, so embarrassing," Rick said

A man ran up to the three, " At last! Heroes! You must help us! This village is terribly poor, yet the giant that lives in the clouds above has untold treasures!"

"You know what? I-I accept your call to adventure, good sir, kind sir. Come on, Rick, Myra, There's a giant in the clouds!" Morty said

"Yeah. *Burp* Beginner's luck." Rick said

Myra just throws her head back and sighs. At least Morty's building confidence heaven knows her brother needs it.

* * *

Morty had led Myra and Rick to a giant beanstalk that climbed into the clouds high into the sky. Since Rick was being for a lack of a better word a dick they had to climb the beanstalk with their hands because this was Morty's adventure so he had to provide the tools.

After a few hours of climbing the three had finally made it up the beanstalk and were now inside the giant's castle.

"All right, Morty. W-We're in your stupid giant's castle. W-What do we do next?" Rick said

"Would you just relax, Rick? All we got to do is find the treasure room, okay? It's nice and simple. You know, I'm sorry everything's going so smoothly and adventurously." Morty said

Morty's optimism was cut off short when the trio heard stomping noises coming their way.

"Crap," Myra said

"Uh-oh, Morty. Startin' to get a little hairy. What do you want to do, boss?" Rick said making Morty worry.

"Come on, hurry. Behind this cookie jar." Morty said grabbing Rick and Myra and dragging them.

The three hid behind the giant cookie jar and just in time too because a giant stomped his way into the kitchen.

"Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum!" The giant said

"Seriously. How cliche." Myra said

"Just give up, Morty. This is game over. I'll take us home right now. You just say the word." Rick said pulling out his portal gun.

"No way, Rick. This is all part of it. Adventures have conflict. Deal with it." Morty said

"I smell the blood of- whoop!" The giant had walked into the kitchen and slipped on a puddle of water. He ended up knocking his head against the counter and cracking his head open.

"Holy crap." Morty and Myra said with panic and worry in their tone.

"Oh, boy. He looks pretty bad down there. Looks like he's bleeding out." Rick said as they looked down at the giant who was twitching on the ground in his own pile of blood.

As the three watched the giant bleed out they heard more giant footsteps coming. A giant woman came in holding her giant baby.

"Oh, Jesus! Dale! You sons of bitches!" The giant women screamed.

The three tried to run away but their escape was cut off quickly when the giant women slammed a giant cup on top of them, trapping them inside.

The giant women pulled out a cellphone, "Hello, 911? My husband has been attacked by tiny people! He's dying!"

* * *

Well, that 911 call quickly brought the cops and now the three were being interrogated by giant cops. Myra couldn't believe she now had a police record, sure she got in a lot of trouble when she's home, but she never got caught. At least this record was in a different universe. After the three of them took mug shots and changed into orange jumpsuits, they were moved into an interrogation room where they sat on a box of matches.

The interrogators seemed to be playing the whole good cop bad cop routine, but just with no good cop.

"Hey, look, we get it. You're little, you're down on your luck, you think, hey, he's a giant. Why don't we break into his home, rob him, and murder him?" Once of the giant cops said.

"Th-th but that's not how it went down!" Morty yelled

"Oh, well, it's going down like that. You're both going down like that." The other cop said

"Ooh, boy, Morty, you're really showing me how it's done. Real straightforward and fun." Rick said

* * *

The three were easily transported to a courtroom for their trail.

"Wow, their justice system sure works quick," Myra said not believing how soon they were having their trial.

A giant judge bangs on his gavel getting the courtrooms attention, "Order in the court! Before the jury reaches its verdict, I just want to say that I consider you both very guilty."

"Wow, this justice system is crap just like ours," Myra said

"Oh, great adventure, buddy. Rick, Morty, and Myra go to giant prison. You know, if somebody drops the soap, it's gonna land on our heads and crush our spines, Morty. You know, it'll be really easy to rape us after that. And Myra, well, I hope you liked being shanked by giant sharpened toothbrushes." Rick said

"We're gonna be okay, Rick," Morty said with a sad hope in his voice.

"How? They took my portal gun. This is an open-and-shut case, Morty. You know, what do you think's gonna happen, some magical angels gonna show up and then-"

Rick's moving to Morty was cut off when the courtroom's doors burst open.

"Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum! I smell the violation of civil liberties! Your honor, I'm from a tiny-persons advocacy group and I have here in my hand a motion to dismiss. These little men were never read their giant rights and are therefore free-fi to fo-home. W-what the hell is he talking about? They're free to go, is what I meant. I'm deconstructing our our our thing we say. We're giants. Nobody got that? Whatever." A giant lawyer said

"Oh, man, what did I tell you, Rick? We did it!" Morty yelled standing up in victory.

The three walked out of court with a smile on their faces, happy to be out of that predicament.

"All right, Morty looks like the portal gun's still working. You ready to head home?" Rick asked

"C'mon Rick we've come this far," Myra said

"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you, Rick? Well, you know what? We're not bailing out just yet. You know, we're gonna go find some treasure or something and and we're gonna bring it to those villagers." Morty said

"Morty, cut your losses. This is obviously awash." Rick said

"Yeah, you were saying that back when we first got arrested, but here we are, you know, walking down the courthouse steps," Morty said as they make it to the courthouse steps.

Any enthusiasm Myra had left for her brother went out the window when she saw the giant stairs.

"Oh, boy, Morty," Rick said

"Usually, walking down the courthouse steps is the easy part of the adventure. " Morty said

Myra pinches her brow in frustration.

"What do you say, Morty?" Rick asked pulling out his portal gun with a smirk.

Myra raises her eyebrow at her brother waiting for his answer.

"I say give me a hand, sidekicks," Morty said before starting his descent down the giant stairs.

"Ugggghhh!" Rick and Myra say as they follow Morty.

* * *

After climbing down only four steps Myra, Morty, and Rick were already feeling the strain on their bodies. Morty was sweating so much that he took off his shirt and tied it around his waist.

"Yeah, Morty, this is the part of the story everybody loves scaling down 650,000 oversized steps," Rick said with extreme sarcasm.

"Alright, okay, you know, if this was a story, this part wouldn't be included, stupid," Morty said

Myra tried to drown out Morty and Rick's sarcastic banter but heard music from below her. She looked down and saw tavern doors that were built into one of the giant steps.

"Well, what'd ya know," Myra said watching the other two's attention. She points down showing them the tavern doors.

"Look down there. Looks like some kind of tavern or something built right into the side of the step." Morty said with a smug look.

The three finished climbing down the step and made their way into the tavern called The Thirsty Step.

"Oh, wow, Rick. Now, this is more like it. Look, there's little staircase-shaped people in here. All kinds of crazy characters. This place is great, you know? It's whimsical and fun." Morty said as the three walked around the tavern.

As they walked Myra felt a strange presence behind her and quickly reached behind her. She ended up grabbing a hand of one of the stairs shaped people who were trying to grab her ass. She growls at him and then easily tosses him over her shoulder. As she did this two more stairs people look over at her but their gazes are quickly stopped by Rick. He quickly walks up to the table and slams his hands on it, What are you looking at, motherfucker!"

Morty grabs Rick's shoulders and guides him away as an angry Myra follows. Morty finds them a booth in the back and the three sit down. After a few seconds, a waitress with an abnormally large chest comes up, "Pay them no mind. Those stair goblins can be moody. Now, what can I getcha? We've got skarlog poppies, flurlow, halzingers, bloogies, juicy time babies."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, how about some scotch whiskey? You got any of that around here? Or just a bunch of nonsense words?" Rick said frustrated

"Rick... We'll have three bloogies, please." Morty said

"Actually, make that two bloogies, for some reason, I'm really drawn to whatever the hell halzingers are," Myra said

"Also we were wondering, is there a faster way three heroes could get down these stairs?" Morty asked the waitress.

A face pops up behind Morty, "Y'all need to ride down the stairs?" A worm-like creature revealed himself, "My name is slippely-slippery stair. I'll take you down there for 25 shmeckels."

"25 shmeckels? I don't know how much I don't know what that is. Is that a lot? Is it a little?" Rick asked

"That's exactly how much I spent on my big fake boobies." The waitress said shaking her chest. A reptile creature appears next to the waitress, "Hi, I'm Mr. booby buyer. I'll buy those boobies for 25 shmeckels."

"It's a tempting offer, but I'm gonna have to decline." The waitress said

"Rats! What a shame." The booby buyer said before he crawled up the wall and into a crack.

"Uhhhhhh?" Myra said not comprehending the random shit transpiring right now.

"Morty, your adventure's in a spiral. For real, man, time to pull out." Rick said

"You keep heckling my adventure, Rick! You know why?" Morty said

"Uh, because it's lame?" Rick said rolling his eyes.

"It's because you're petty! Y-You know, how many times have Myra and I had to follow you into some nonsensical bull crap? We always roll with the punches, Rick. Why can't you? Look, I got to take a leak, and when I come back, if you haven't learned how to lighten up, don't be here!" Morty yelled and then walked away.

"Whatever," Rick said crossing his arms.

Myra sucker punched Rick in the arm making him wince and look at her.

"What the hell was that for," Rick asked

"Look Rick I know this 'adventure' is total and utter bullcrap, but Morty needs this. So for once could you try not be such an ass. Look over there," Myra points to a table where a card game was being played, "You like to gamble let's go." Myra said standing up and walking over.

"Fine," Rick said following Myra.

* * *

"Haha full house!" Myra said showing her cards. She and Rick laughed and high-fived as the other players groaned. Rick had taught her to count cards and they were kicking major ass. There was just one problem, Morty.

Myra stood up from the table, "I'm gonna check on Morty he's been gone for a while," She bends down to whisper to Rick, "Keep kicking ass."

Myra walks over to the men's restroom and knocks on the door, "Morty you okay. The toilets aren't giant here so you couldn't have fallen in."

Myra hears muffled noises come from the bathroom she goes to open the door when Morty quickly opens it looking scared.

"Morty what the he-?!" Myra is cut off when a hand grabs Morty and pulls him back into the bathroom.

Myra's eyes widen before she quickly runs into the bathroom to see a creature that looked like a giant blue jelly bean trying to assault Morty.

"Oh Hell no!" Myra screams jumping onto the Mr. Jelly Beans back. In her rage, Myra bites Mr. Jellybeans head making him scream and fall back into the stall.

Myra lets go of him as he lands on a toilet. She pushes his head down into the water, then Morty runs up and starts to slam the toilet lid onto Mr. Jellybeans head. When Mr. Jelly Bean stopped moving Morty fell back with a cry, clearly traumatized from the event. He runs out of the bathroom leaving Myra behind. Myra grabs the back of Mr. Jellybeans head and makes him face her.

"You come near him, look at him, even think about him, I'll turn you inside out," Myra said with a threatening voice.

She lets go of Mr. Jelly Bean and slams the toilet lid back onto his head before she walks out to the bathroom.

Myra comes out to see Morty grabbing onto Rick desperately with tears in his eyes.

"Look, I want to leave now. You win the bet, okay? Just give me the portal gun and let's go, please. Please, I just want to go home." Morty said

Myra grabs her brother in a hug just he starts to shed tears.

"Okay. Listen, Morty. Myra and I won a bunch of shmeckels. Why don't we use 25 of them to pay slippery stair here for a ride back to the village, and then we'll give the rest of the shmeckels to the villagers, huh?" Rick said

"Yeah Morty. Let's do it." Myra said

"Really?" Morty asked looking at eh two.

"Sure, Morty. Yeah." Rick said

"You know, a good adventure needs a good ending." Myra said making Morty smile.

The three made their way out of the tavern and climb onto Slippery Stairs back.

"Buckle up!" Slippery Stair said before he started to quickly descent down the stairs.

* * *

Morty, Myra, and Rick easily made it to the village. As they entered the town square the townspeople started to cheer as Morty handed a man the bag full of money.

"Thank you, kind sir. Our village is saved! You three true heroes!" The man said

Morty smiled at the admiration. Two village girls came up to him and gave him a kiss on each cheek.

"Good job, Morty. Looks like you won the bet." Rick said

"Thanks, Rick, but I don't know if I should. You know, you were right about the universe. It's a crazy and chaotic place." Morty said

"Well, you know, maybe that's why it could use a little cleaning up every now and then, you know. This one's wrapped up neat and clean because we did it Morty style." Rick said

Myra high-fived Morty, "Morty Style!"

"Oh! Heroes, we would like to introduce you to our beloved king so that he may thank you personally." The man said

As they turned around Morty and Myra recognized Mr. Jelly Bean but this time, he was being carried on a throne and was wearing a cape and crown. Morty looked scared but Myra was pissed. Ohh she warned that son of a bitch.

"Uh, no, I-it's cool. Rick. Portal. Hurry." Morty said

Rick quickly opened the portal and Morty jumped in. Followed by Rick and Myra. The portal disappears for a few seconds but then reapers. Myra's arm appears with a ray gun and shoots off a beam which hits Mr. Jellybean turning him inside out. This causes the townspeople to scream and freak out. As they panic another hand appears out of the portal holding another ray gun. This time, Rick shoots Mr. Jellybean making him explode all over the townspeople. The crowd goes silent before they panic even more than before.

Myra and Rick leave and return home. "I warned him." Myra said

"Don't fuck with us." Rick said high fiving Myra.

* * *

Myra, Morty, and Rick walk into the living room to see it destroyed. Beth and Jerry were sitting on the couch dressed in formal wear.

"What the hell happened to this place?" Rick asked

"Uh, your Meeseeks box happened. They went crazy when they couldn't take two strokes off Jerry's golf game. He felt terrible." Beth said

"Hey, it's not my fault that Jerry's an idiot." Rick said

"Dad! Is there anything you can do to clean this place up?" Beth said

"Well, you know, I do have a Fleeseeks box." Rick said

"No. No more boxes." Jerry said standing up.

"What? It just has a mop and some floor wax in it. Wubba lubba dub dubs! Yeah! That's my new thing! I'm kind of like what's his name Arsenio. Isn't that it's what Arsenio used to say on his show. Wobble gobba lop bops! Right? See you next update, everybody." Rick said as the family laughed.

* * *

Myra made her way to her room and when she opened her door she was greeted by a beautiful sight. A black rose sitting in a crystal vase with a with a ribbon tied around around it. Next to it layed a card.

Myra walked up to the flower and gently caressed the petals before picking up the card. Myra opened the card and read it turning red.

"The first time I saw you my heart said that's the one. Love Mason." Myra read out loud

Myra was speechless, "Wow."

She put the card back down but knocked something off of her desk. She went down to pick it up and saw she had knocked a ring down.

"Holy shit!" Myra said

Myra was surprised by two things one she didn't own any rings and two the ring was a silver band with a large ruby red gem that seemed to glow with a flame flickering inside.

"Wow." Myra said


	7. Rick Potion No 9

**Rick Potion No. 9**

Myra was laying on the couch in the living room alone flipping through channels.

"Nope. No. Nah. Boring." Myra said as she tried to search for a good show.

Her quest for the right show was cut off when her cell phone rang.

"Hello," Myra said answering the phone.

"Myra, hello. It's Mason." Mason said over the phone.

Myra sat up straight with a nervous look on her face. She still hasn't gotten over the whole ruby fire finger her had given her.

"H-Hey Mason," Myra said with a nervous tone.

"I was wondering if you were free?" Mason asked

"Well, I'm busy later," Myra said lying.

"What are you doing now?" Mason asked

"Nothing," Myra replied

"Good. Then I'll be there in an hour. Dress nice," Mason said hanging up the phone.

"Wait no-!"

"Ugggh!" Myra said hanging over the couch.

The front door opened and Summer walked in along with Morty. Myra spotted her older sister and ran to her grabbing her hands and pulling her upstairs and into her room.

"Myra what the-?!"

Myra cut off Summer when she put her hands over her mouth.

"Listen Summer I need your help but you can't tell mom or dad," Myra said

"What is it?" Summer questioned with suspicion.

Myra mumbled something that Summer couldn't hear.

"What was that?" Summer asked

"I've got a date," Myra said with a blush on her cheeks and looking at the ground.

Summer squealed and squished Myra in a hug, "I can't believe it you have a date!"

"Shhhh! Keep it down." Myra said

"You've got to do your hair and makeup." Summer said

Myra looked away from Summer shyly and rubbed her arm, "That's why I asked for you help. I don't know how to do any of that stuff."

Summer's eyes softened as she looked down at her younger sister.

"I'll go get my makeup case. It's time for bonding that only girls will understand," Summer said

? ﾟﾒﾄ? ﾟﾒﾄ? ﾟﾒﾄ? ﾟﾒﾄ? ﾟﾒﾄ After the Makeover ? ﾟﾒﾄ? ﾟﾒﾄ? ﾟﾒﾄ? ﾟﾒﾄ? ﾟﾒﾄ?

"Aaaaaaand done," Summer said putting the final touches on Myra.

Summer turned Myra around to face the mirror.

"Wow," Myra said

Summer had done a great job. She gave Myra a smokey eyeshadow makeup with some nice blush to accent her soft cheekbones. She had on ruby red lipstick and pulled her hair back in a stylish messy bun. Summer leant Myra one of her older dresses. It was a black strapless cocktail dress that had a sheer draping over the shoulder. It poofed out at the bottom and had a ribbon around the waist which accented Myra's slim yet womanly figure.

Myra stared at herself in the mirror. She wanted to cry. Even though Myra puts on a brave face she's really insecure on the inside and for the first time in her life. she felt pretty. Myra looked up at a smiling Summer and gave her a hug. To the two sisters held onto each other for a while.

"Thanks, Summer." Myra said shyly, "You tell anyone we hugged for this long I'll deny it."

Summer just smiled and gave her little sister one more hug.

They pulled away when they heard the doorbell ring. Summer raced downstairs and knocked Morty over as he went to answer the door. She opened the door and screamed when she saw an alien holding an ax at the door.

"I am here for Lady Myra," The alien said

"You're not her date are you?" Summer asked

"No I am here to retrieve her for Prince Mason," The alien said pointing over to space cruiser that looked like a carriage. In it Mason was sitting and waving over at the two.

Summer sighed thinking at least he was cute.

"I'm right here," Myra said coming down the stairs.

Morty who had finally stood up looked at his twin, "W-wow Myra. You look great."

"Thanks, Morty," Myra said

Myra walked to the doorway and faced her siblings, "Bye you guys. Don't tell mom and dad."

Myra walked to the carriage where the driver opened the door for her. She sat down across from Mason who looked at her and seemed to be in a daze.

"Wow. You look amazing," Mason said

"Myra blushed and looked away.

Summer and Morty stood at the door as they watched the vehicle take off through a portal.

"Hey who was at the door?" Jerry asked

Summer and Morty turn around to face their dad, "Uh no one just you know salesmen."

"Okay," Jerry said simply and walked away.

* * *

Myra looked around in amazement. She assumed since Mason was a prince that he would take her out to some fancy out of the galaxy restaurant but he did something way better. Mason had planned a romantic dinner on a floating asteroid with the view of hundreds of shooting stars. He had a tale setup and exotic food prepared for them. Myra was having such a good time she completely forgot about the ring situation. That is until Mason brought it up.

"So umm how did you like my present?" Mason asked

"Uhhhhh?" Myra said rubbing the back of her head.

Myra's eyes shifted and she had no idea what to say, "It was pretty…"

Mason saw Myra's discomfort and assumed she didn't like the ring. "If you didn't like it I could get you a new one, a better one even."

Myra freaked out, "No!"

Mason froze speechless.

"Look. Mason, the ring was very lovely," Myra pulled out the ring, "But I can't accept something so glamorous. It just wouldn't feel right."

"What do you mean?" Mason asked

"I don't think I could have something so pretty and I don't know the meaning of-"

Myra was cut off by Mason who grabbed her chin, "Myra I gave that ring to show you that I only have eyes for you."

Myra turned red speechless.

"I wanted you to know that I want to be with you. I don't care if you don't have any feelings for me, I'll win you over no matter what. You'll all I have eyes for. I wanted to give you something that expressed how beautiful I saw you but this ring is nothing compared to you," Mason said gazing into Myra's eyes. He slipped the ring onto her finger and looked back up at Myra.

Myra stared at Mason, her heart beating faster. No one's ever talked to her like this before and she got a hot feeling in her stomach. None of this could register in her brain so instead she listened to her body and jumped onto Mason knocking the table over, and locking lips with him. Mason was surprised at first but gladly accepted the kiss from Myra. Mason's kisses were warm like light flames tickling Myra's skin.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. Thier kiss quickly changed into a makeout session as Myra and Mason grabbed at each other. Mason's hands traveled down to Myra's bottom and he gave a light squeeze. She shivered at the contact and pulled him into a deeper kiss. The two rolled around on the ground making out for what seemed like for hours.

? ﾟﾒﾋ? ﾟﾒﾋ? ﾟﾒﾋ? ﾟﾒﾋ After the Date ? ﾟﾒﾋ? ﾟﾒﾋ? ﾟﾒﾋ? ﾟﾒﾋ?

The sun was setting when Myra and Mason had returned back to her home. Myra gave Mason one last kiss before walking out.

Myra walked into the kitchen seeing her dad making a sandwich and a depressed Morty sitting at the table.

"Try not to worry about it, Morty. You're a good kid, and there's not a premium on that right now, but you'll be getting girls sometime after brad's out of shape," Jerry said

Morty sighed, "You're missing the point, dad. I don't want girls. I want Jessica."

"Ah, well, I remember feeling that way about a young lady named "your mom," and that's not an urban diss. Your mom was my Jessica. I remember the first time I saw her-"

Jerry was cut off by Rick who walked into the kitchen grabbing a beer, "I thought Rick: "I should get her pregnant, and then she'll have to marry me."

"Gross," Myra said announcing her presence in the kitchen.

"I beg your pardon, Rick inappropriate. Also, where have you been young lady?" Jerry asked

"Doing coming of age women stuff dad. I could give you the estrogen pumping details if you'd like," Myra said trying to deter her dad.

"No no no I'm good," Jerry said quickly.

"Sorry Jerry, please proceed with your story about banging my daughter in high school. I'm not sure you want to take romantic advice from this guy, Morty. His marriage is hanging from a thread," Rick said

"My marriage is fine, thank you," Jerry said

Myra mimicked shooting herself and the hanging herself symbolizing her parents marriage.

"Jerry, it's your house whatever you say it is how it is but I think a blind man could see that Beth is looking for the door. I barely have a reason to care, and even I noticed," Rick said

"Come on, Rick! Don't talk about my parents like that," Morty said

"Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty, "He looks over at Myra and her disheveled appearance," We've already lost your sister, rise above. Focus on science," Rick said drinking his beer and walking out of the kitchen.

"All right, well, I'm gonna go get dressed for the dance," Morty said

"Yeah, I'm just going to... check on your mom," Jerry said leaving the kitchen.

"I'm gonna get cleaned up," Myra said walking out of the kitchen.

Myra went upstairs and ran herself a bubble bath to relax. While she was soaking in the tub her phone beeped and she picked it up.

There was a message from Mason, "I hope you like the color red."

Myra raised her eyebrow at the message and just ignored it.

When she was done with her bath she made her way to her room. She was getting dressed when she heard a knock on her window. She walked over to it and saw a creature with one eye and wings holding a large bouquet of blood red roses.

"To Lady Myra," The alien said

"Thanks," Myra said taking the flowers.

Myra grabbed the roses and saw a small card. "These flowers a beautiful but can match yours, and their beauty fades, yours will burn brighter than a thousand suns exploding."

"Well then," Myra said with a smile and putting the flowers in water. She grabbed the black flower Mason had given her earlier this week and placed it in the center on the red ones.

"Well I've got to admit that boy's a real charmer," Myra said

? ﾟﾛﾁ? ﾟﾛﾁ? ﾟﾛﾁ? ﾟﾛﾁ? ﾟﾛﾁ? ﾟﾛﾁ? ﾟﾛﾁ? ﾟﾛﾁ?

Myra made her way downstairs where she Summer sitting on the couch.

Summer rolled around before sitting next to Myra, "Soooo how'd it go."

Myra blushed, "It was nice."

Before Summer could ask for more details Jerry came in and sat on the other end of the couch staring at his cell phone.

He kept muttering to himself for about an hour.

"If you want to say something then do," Myra said finally reaching her limit.

"She's gonna be alone with that guy all night," Jerry said

"Yeah, dad, digging around the insides of horses. It's not a very romantic setting," Summer said

Myra actually impressed by Summer's comeback fist bumps her sister.

Rick walks in the living room holding a beer, "Well, Summer, there's always the possibility that she made the whole work thing up. Maybe Davin's digging around in her insides."

Myra makes a grossed out face and puts her hands over ears, "Not listening. I don't need those images in my head."

"Grandpa, so gross! You're talking about my mom," Summer said

"Well, she's my daughter, Summer. I outrank you. Or family means nothing, in which case don't play that card," Rick said picking up the remote and changing the channel.

"She's not responding to my texts!" Jerry exclaimed worry.

"That's so weird, because I always bring my cell phone with me when I perform open heart surgery," Myra said sarcastically.

"Careful, dad. Jealousy turns women off," Summer said

"Well, isn't that convenient?" Jerry said

"Not for the men they cheat on, no," Rick said

"Okay, I'm... going to go out... for some ice cream. And maybe stop by the hospital... to support my wife... with my confidence," Jerry said walking out of the house.

"Haha I'm gonna go watch dad get his ass kicked," Myra said heading to the door.

"What makes you think Davin would hit dad?" Summer asked

"Oh I don't think Davin will but mom sure as hell will," Myra said before closing the door.

"Dda wait up!" Myra yelled as she hopped into the car.

"Myra? What are you doing?" Jerry asked

"Isn't obvious I'm gonna go watch you defend your women's honor," Myra said

A smile blooms on Jerry's face, "We'll alright then," Jerry said putting the car in drive and rushing out of the driveway.

* * *

Myra and Jerry had been driving for about 15 minutes when Myra finally decided to put on the radio because she could no longer handle listening to her father's incoherent ranting about Davin.

She reached down and turned on her favorite radio station.

"In breaking news there is still no sign of Morty," A news reporter said

"What?" Myra questioned

She flipped the station, "Now here's the latest hit single 'I love Morty'.

"The fuck?!" Myra said as she quickly changed the station.

Every station that she turned to somehow involved Morty.

"Dad do you hear th-!"

Myra was cut off when Jerry slammed on the brakes lurching Myra forward in her seat.

They both got out of the car to see an accident with multiple cars, but what made Myra suspicious was that there were no people around.

"Are you kidding me?!" Jerry said looking at the accident.

"Uhhh dad…." Myra said looking behind her.

"HELLO!" Jerry yelled at the wreckage looking for someone.

"DAD!" Myra yelled as mutated people/praying mantis came out of the shadows. She tried to shoot one with her watch but it took a swipe at her hitting her wrist along with the watch making it fall off.

"Crap!" Myra yelled

"Morty!" One of the creatures shouted

"Wah!" Jerry screamed dodging the creature. He grabbed Myra and started running around the smashed and destroyed cars.

"You're not Morty!"

Jerry jumped over the hood of the car to dodge a swing, Myra was rather impressed with how fast he could move while still holding onto her.

"Bring us, Morty!"

"This is insane!" Myra yelled

Jerry put Myra down and they both booked it through the carnage. As they ran Jerry stopped when he spotted a police car, unfortunately the cop in it was dead but lucky for them he died with a rifle in his hands. Jerry picked up the rifle and started blowing off heads.

"Whooo go dad!" Myra cheered

She was really impressed by her father right now, he's never looked this cool before.

"Nobody's killing me until after I catch my wife with another man," Jerry said

"Uhh okay a little less cool now," Myra said

She watched her father take out several more creatures, when one came after her, "Ahhh!"

Myra was knocked down when one of the creatures grabbed her," I'm not dying today," Myra looked in front of her and saw a dead Chinese delivery driver. She grabbed a box of rice and threw it in the creature's face blinding it.

"Hahah take this," Myra said as she grabbed a pair of chopsticks. She stabbed the into the monsters head killing it.

Jerry walked over to Myra, "Let's get your mother."

? ﾟﾍﾚ? ﾟﾍﾚ? ﾟﾍﾚ? ﾟﾍﾚ? ﾟﾍﾚ? ﾟﾍﾚ? ﾟﾍﾚ? ﾟﾍﾚ? ﾟﾍﾚ? ﾟﾍﾚ

"Come on dad this way!" Myra yelled as her and Jerry made it to the Horse Hospital. They ran inside and made it to Beth's office where they could hear screaming.

"Step back," Jerry said to Myra

Myra moves out of her father's way and he kicks down the door. The two see a scared Beth being attacked by a mutated Davin.

"You're not Morty," Mutant Davin said

"No. I'm Mr. Crowbar, and this is my friend, who is also a crowbar," Jerry said holding out a crowbar.

"That's... stupid," Mutant Davin said

Jerry just takes his crowbar and smashes in Davin's head.

"Haha nice dad," Myra said

"Look where being smart got you," Jerry said to the corpse.

Beth ran to Jerry and threw her arm around him, "Jerry! Myra! Thank god!"

"God? God's turning people into insect monsters, Beth. I'm the one beating them to death. Thank me," Jerry said

"Hey your lines are getting better," Myra said

"Thank you, Jerry. Thank you," Beth said giving him another hug. "How are gonna get out of here?" Beth asked

"I've got an idea," Myra said

* * *

"Yeaaaaahhh!" Myra yelled

Myra's idea was to take one of the abandoned cars and deck it out with some post-apocalyptic weaponry. They barreled their way all the way back to the city. Though what they saw was new. Instead of the insect monsters there were these mutated fleshy beast.

Jerry stopped the car right in front of a group of them. "Hold on," Jerry said revving the engine

"Take them down!" Myra yelled

Jerry hits the gas and smashes through a dozen of the mutants. He brings the car to a stop and grabs a machete taking out any mutant in his path. Myra hops out of the car with a canister on her back and a nozzle in her hand, "Eat this!" Myra yelled turning the canister on.

Myra had grabbed some supplies from her mother's hospital and created a flamethrower, burning anything that got in her way. Beth came out behind her daughter with a shotgun and blew the guts out of any mutants that stepped in her way.

"I wish that shotgun was my penis," Jerry said after Beth cocks her gun. Myra makes a grossed out face.

"If it were, you could call Ernest Hemingway," Beth said

"I don't get it, and I don't need to," Jerry said grabbing Beth and bringing her to him. They start making out and Myra looks away pretending to gag. As Myra was looking away from her parents she saw Summer running to them.

"Summer!" Myra yelled

"Mom! Dad! Myra!" Summer yelled

They all run to Summer and share a group hug.

"Where's Morty?" Jerry asked

" I don't know. Do you think grandpa Rick had something to do with this?" Summer asked

"Adoy of course he did," Myra said rolling her eyes.

"It's not fair to assume that, you two," Jerry said

"Oh, not fair? Give me a break. He is a selfish, irresponsible ass, and he left my mother. A real man stands by his woman," Beth caresses Jerry's chest before she brings him in for a makeout.

Summer and Myra just try to look anywhere but at their parents.

"Tchoo. Tchoo-tchoo-tchoo. Tchoo-tchoo," Summer said as Myra whistled.

* * *

Myra was sitting in her room when she heard a large explosion coming from the garage. She removes her headphones, "Huh?" Myra just shrugs her shoulders and goes back to listening to music. As she was trying to find a song to listen to she heard her phone ping and saw a message from Mason. Her face bloomed a small smile as she remembered their date from yesterday and silently thanked Summer for the makeover. As her and Mason messaged she absmentidley grabbed the ring he gave her hanging around her neck on a silver chain.

After a few hours of over the phone flirting Myra went down to the kitchen to get a soda. As she grabbed her drink from the fridge she saw her parents arguing and just sighs at the two. She walked by the patio door and saw Rick and Morty digging something in the backyard. She opens the patio door and goes outside.

"Hey, what are you two doing!" Myra called

Morty jumps and turns to his sister, "Uhh w-w-we -were uh I uh," Morty tried to say. Myra raised her eyebrow as she noticed Morty was sweating and looked like he was going to vomit.

Myra looks over at Rick and sees him pulls out a flask and starts drinking. Myra just raises her eyebrow and goes back inside.

* * *

 **The First Reality**

Myra was carving a shiv out of a some large sticks as she watched Summer perform through a fake cardboard television. She was sitting on a couch with her parents who cuddled up next to each other.

"You know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes... black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't seem to be living until he bites ya, and then the blood, and the red, and the water…" Summer said

"You ever wonder what happened to Rick and Morty?" Jerry asked

"Sometimes. But, I'm ashamed to admit, now that they're gone, I'm finally happy," Beth said

"Hey, I kinda like it. This new world is perfect for my survival skills. But we won't have to worry that much, I sent out distress signal to Mason while we were at the hospital," Myra said

"Who's Mason!" Beth and Jerry said

Myra finally realized what she said and looked at her parents, "Aw shit."


	8. Raising Gazorpazorp

**Raising Gazorpazorp**

"Look I'm not paying seventy smidgens for a broken fraculater," Rick said

Rick had brought Morty and Myra to some type of outer space junk sales shop. The twins were currently looking at some weird techno gear. Morty was wearing a robotic claw, while Myra was holding up what looked like a blow dryer with hundreds of functions.

"This is a multi-phase quantum resonator," The alien salesman said

"Does it fraculate?" Rick asked

"Fuck no," The alien said

"T-t-then is a broken de-fraculater," Rick said

"Like you would even know thing about fraculator," The alien said

Morty's eyes caught a robot women and he walked over to it with a glazed over look. Myra caught her brother staring at the obvious sex robot and rolled her eyes.

"Hey uh, Rick. Uhm you think maybe I could get something from this place? L-like a souvenir, like just to have. Something cool you know," Morty questioned

"Not here Morty, we'll stop somewhere else. Because you know there's alway another pawn shop," Rick said about to walk out of the door.

"Oh okay, it's just uh. I thought that robot over there looked pretty cool, ya know," Morty said

"Oh, it looks cool huh. That's why you want it," Rick said skeptically.

Myra just facepalmed at her brother unsubtle way of hiding he wanted a sex doll.

"I'll just meet you guys in the cruiser," Myra said walking out.

About five minutes later Rick and Morty come out of the pawn shop but Morty was carrying that sex robot.

"For fuck sake, we share a wall," Myra said

* * *

Myra laid in her bed her eyes wide open. All she could hear was the constant sound of Morty's mattress springs as well as his muffled moans through the wall. She wanted to sleep, even when she put her headphones on Morty was moving around so much she could feel the vibrations through the wall.

"Screw this," Myra said getting out of bed.

She pulled out her cellphone and sent a quick emergency text. After a few seconds, a portal opened in her room and Mason came running out.

"My love what- what's that noise and smell? Mason questioned

Myra grabbed his arm, "No time let's go move it," She said pulling him back through the portal.

The two ended up back in his room and Myra laid down on his bed and got under the covers.

"Myra you said there was an emergency what-?"

Myra put a finger over Mason's lips, "Shhh sleep now talk later."

Myra turned over and snuggled deeper into the blankets.

Mason gave a confused look but got into the bed and wrapped his arms around Myra.

 _ **Morning**_

Myra yawned and sat up in bed stretching her arms. She looked to the window and saw that it was still dark outside.

"What the?" Myra questioned

"Nigh last 48 hours here," Mason said sitting up next to Myra.

"Oh, well it's morning where I live so I better get home," Myra said attempting to get out of the bed.

"I will escort you home," Mason said getting out of the bed too.

"You don't have-"

Myra stopped talking when she saw Mason changing shirts.

" _Holy six pack,"_ Myra thought

"All for you Myra," Mason said when he saw the girl looking.

He pulled the stunned girl to him by her waist, "Just like your all for me."

Myra blushed a little before bringing the alien boy into a kiss. The kiss quickly turned heated as the two fell back on the bed. Mason reached up to lift up Myra's shirt but was interrupted by a knock.

"Prince Mason. It is time to join your parents for this morning breakfast," A servant said through the door.

"Give me a few," Mason said

He went back to kissing Myra.

"I insist young master. The queen has a long day planned," The server said

Mason's eyes turn red, "I said give me a few!"

His loud voice shakes the room as the sheets as well as Myra's clothing start to singe from the heat he was giving off.

"All right," The servant said quickly before the sound of running feet could be heard.

Mason looks back at Myra who was still lying on him. She had a small smile.

"What?" Mason questioned

"For some reason I just find the angry side of you really attractive," Myra said giving Mason a kiss on the cheek.

Mason smiled and stood up carrying Myra in his arms making her chuckle, "I'll be holding you like this a lot more so get used to it. Now let's get you home."

* * *

A portal opened up in Myra's room, the constant sound of box springs still resonating around the room. Mason carried Myra in the room bridal style and sat her on the bed.

"God, did he sleep at all?" Myra questions

"Well if that has just a quarter of your beauty I could see why," Mason said

Myra blushed two shades of red at the compliment and hidden message within it.

"I'll see you later beautiful. I'll also get you some new pajamas to replace the ones I burned," Mason said with a smile.

Myra brought him for a kiss, "I'll hold you to that. Also, you might be seeing me a lot more if that keeps up," Myra said pointing over to the wall where the noise is coming from.

Mason stole one more kiss goodbye and walked through the portal.

Myra peeled off her burnt clothes, "Guess when he said he had a fiery rage he wasn't kidding."

She was about to throw the clothes in the garbage but grabbed a box and put them in there instead. She pulled out a sharpie and wrote memoirs on it, she stuck the wilted roses in there too and put the box deep in her closet.

Myra's eye twitched when she heard a loud bang come from Morty's room.

"Uuugh I need food and maybe some alcohol," Myra said

? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ? ﾟﾍﾞ

The whole family minus Morty were gathered around the table for breakfast, although there was not much eating going on. Everyone was staring up at the ceiling while they watched the ceiling lamp shake. Myra had Rick slip her some alcohol into her orange juice from his flask. At least she numbed her senses enough to ignore the sounds above and eat.

"So we're just gonna pretend this isn't happening. I'm not saying that that's a bad idea I'm just asking," Summer said

"Rick! Why would you let Morty bring that thing into our home" Jerry exclaimed

"What do you want from me. H-he-he-h-he thought it was cool. You know what I mean," Rick said

At that moment, Morty decided to run downstairs. He was covered in sweat and only wearing his underwear, "Whoo!" Morty said wiping the sweat off of his face. He picks up a carton of orange juice and chugs a gracious amount of down.

" _Note to self 'Burn that carton',"_ Myra thought.

"Alright, back to-back to uh back upstairs," Morty said before he ran upstairs.

Only after a few seconds later the noises from upstairs start up again.

"Well I'm intervening," Jerry said standing up.

"Intervening with puberty?! You'll turn him into Ralph Fiennes from Red Dragon. He's at that age lets just be proud of him," Beth said

"Jesus did I set the bar that low?" Summer said

"Yeah, and what about my bar. I start college in a few weeks and I'm only 14," Myra said offended.

Before anyone could say anything Morty ran back downstairs, "Uhm Rick could you come with me, please! Quickly!"

Rick ran upstairs with Morty leaving a confused and disturbed face on everyone.

"Ooookay now if we hear squeaking we intervene," Beth said

Everyone went back to eating but after five minutes they heard the squeaking noise and they all bolted upstairs.

Beth ran into the room first, "Okay unacceptable! Oh-?!"

"What is going on?" Jerry asked

The robot that Morty was "using" turned into some orb and was floating around the room. Suddenly the orb stopped right on top of Morty and pushed out an alien baby that clearly had Morty's genes.

"Alright uh-oh," Rick said

"Uh-oh! What is that!" Beth yelled

The orb floated back over to Morty's bed and transformed back into the robot.

"I think Morty's robot was designed for than long weekends," Rick said examining the robot, "Genetic compiling, incubator, yep this is some kind of baby maker. And that things half Morty *burp* half who knows whatever. My bad guys, I'll take care of it," Rick said pulling out a laser gun.

"Grandpa Rick!"

"No no no no!"

"Hey!"

"Whoa!"

Everyone jumped in front of Morty and the alien baby to shield it from Rick.

"Hey listen you guys quantitated the house when Summer brought olives back from Mexico. This thing could grow the size of Delaware. I-it-it might eat brains and exhale space aids. We gotta be careful," Rick said waving his laser around.

"I lost the chance to be careful Rick. I'm a father now ya know, it's time for me to be responsible isn't that right-"

"Don't name it," Rick said

"-Morty Jr," Morty said lifting up the giggling baby alien.

"Ah crap he named it," Rick said

"Well dad it's a living thing and it's half human," Beth said

"And it was born on American soil. Which titles it to-"

Beth cut Jerry off, "Jerry, majoring in civics was your mistake don't punish us for it."

"Haha got him, mom," Myra said

"Uuugh," He takes the robot, "I'm gonna take this thing to my workshop and do a little investigating. Do not let that thing out of your site. It may look harmless now but it might grow into something dangerous."

"Like the Insane Clown Posse," Jerry said attempting to make a joke.

"Good one Jerry. 2003 called it wants it's easy target back," Rick said before he left the room.

"He's like a little me. You don't think he'd turn into a monster, do you?" Morty said

Beth put a hand on Morty's shoulder, "They always do."

Jerry ran to the bedroom door, "Hey! Uh, 1995 called they want their certain year called blank back formula back!"

"Why Jerry. Why extend the effort," Beth said

"Life is effort and I'll stop when I die," Jerry said

"For the love of-" Myra said

She shook her head at her father and turned to Morty, "Let's find some clothes for the baby and you."

* * *

Summer had wandered off to who knows where while the rest of the family minus Rick were in the living room watching Morty with Morty Jr. Morty, Beth, and Jerry were on the couch while Myra sat on the recliner.

"You're doing great Morty," Jerry said

"Really you think so, I'm not really doing much of anything. W-What do I do if it cries?" Morty asked

"Then you put it down and let it cry itself out," Beth said

Jerry scoffed, "Yeah right. We tried that technique on Summer and now she's gonna end up stripping," He takes the baby from Morty's arms and talks to it in a baby voice, "Isn't that right. Yes, she is, yes she is. She's gonna strip for attention because she was denied it."

"*sigh* Stop filling it with your own insecurity you're gonna turn it into Morty-uh uhm ua a more of you," Beth said

Myra pulled back the recliner of her chair watching the parenting show before her, wishing she had popcorn.

The baby started to cry in Jerry's arms, "Well we all can't be raised like reptiles by a mentally ill scientist," Jerry said

He held the crying Morty Jr. up and he barfed all over Jerry's shirt. Unfortunately, this barf seemed to be flammable because it burst into flames.

"What the! Ahhha!" Jerry yelled as he passed the baby to Beth and tried to put out his flaming shirt.

"Listen to me. I am not rewarding this behavior," Beth said to Morty Jr.

"Knock it off both of you! Give-gimmie back my baby!" Morty grabs Morty Jr. from Beth, "Y-you're both nuts. I'm gonna raise Morty Jr. myself," Morty said turning on the TV.

"Where's your hands there's your hands, and that's how we play handy hands," the TV sung.

Myra just rolled her eyes at the stupid show but Morty Jr. seemed to really enjoy it as he waved around his extra hands.

"Oh you are gonna ruin that kid Morty," Jerry said

"At least we can agree on that," Beth said

Myra sighed and stood up, "Fine I guess I'm helping raise Morty Jr."

She walked over to Morty and picked up the baby, "Come to Aunty Myra," She turns the TV channel, "If he's gonna watch a cartoon at least make it less stupid," She tickles the baby's belly making it laugh.

* * *

Myra had left Morty alone for awhile to get some work done but went back downstairs to check on the two. She even brought a camera so Morty could capture the moments.

"Holy crap," Myra said looking at Morty Jr.

Morty Jr. grew almost to the size of a small toddler and was walking around the living room. HE even had a tuft of hair growing out of his head.

"He's bigger," Myra said

"Yeeah he's growing up big and strong," Morty said lifting up the now toddler.

"Not what I meant," Myra said

She took a picture of Morty Jr. saving it for his first steps.

"You're gonna be a special little guy aren't cha, you're my special guy," Morty said

He watches Morty Jr. walk and tumbled forward onto the floor. He lifts Morty Jr. up and puts him on his feet to mimic flying.

"Da." Morty Jr. said

"Wow he can talk too," Myra said

"What's that Morty Jr. Were you gonna say, Dada. Say Dada." Morty said excitedly.

"Death!" Morty Jr. screamed

A frown appears on Morty's face, "Dada."

"Domination!" Morty Jr. screamed

"Uhm?" Morty puts Morty Jr. down, "Dada?" Morty said a little worried.

"Destruction. Domination," Morty Jr. simply said

Myra whistles, "Well then," She said taking a picture.

Jerry coughs in the recliner, "Nice."

Myra chucks one of Morty Jr.'s toys at Jerry for the rude remark making him shriek.

Morty Jr. laughed and clapped his hands.

"It seems like his race is some sort of war and bloodshed race," Myra said picking up Morty Jr.

"W-well I'll fix it," Morty said

" _Don't think that's something you can fix,"_ Myra thought with a blank look on her face.

Morty thought it be best for Morty Jr. to work out his aggressive nature through some other activities so he bought him some crayons and paper, but all Morty Jr. drew was pictures of carnage, death, and destruction.

Myra and Morty sat in the living room watching Morty Jr. draw some more. The little guy grew more and was now the size of a regular child. He had way more hair and he was now wearing a pair of overalls.

"If he keeps growing at this rate he'll be fully grown by the end of the day," Myra said

Morty didn't hear his sister because he was too worried about Morty Jr. and kept looking around the living room at the drawings.

"This is for you daddy," Morty Jr. said handing a picture to Morty.

The picture had Morty and Morty Jr. holding up pitchforks covered in blood standing on bodies. Morty looked at the picture worried.

"This one's for you Aunty Myra," Morty Jr. said handing another drawing to Myra.

"Thanks, Morty Jr," Myra said petting the alien boys head.

The drawing was of Myra holding Morty Jr. on her back but she was electrocuting people around her with her watch.

"Myra don't encourage him," Morty harshly whispered to her.

"You need to encourage him. If you don't this will end much worse, he just needs a positive outlook," Myra whispered harshly back.

Morty Jr. stood in front of his dad waiting for his response to the picture he made.

"Okay listen to me Morty Jr. I gotta tell you something very important okay," Morty said

Morty Jr.'s smile turned into a frown.

"Killing is bad. Baaaaad!" Morty said

"Well not in every situation som-"

"Shush," Morty said cutting Myra off.

"Haha your silly daddy," Morty Jr. said

"No Morty Jr. I'm being serious okay. You need to put your energy into something else," Morty said

He put down the picture and turned on the TV. A music video with dancing came on.

"Wh-What about dancing?" Morty said

"Yeah, dancing on his enemies graves," Myra said under her breath.

Morty ignored her comment, "Would you like to learn to dance?"

Morty Jr. looked over at the TV, "I liked to dance...on the graves of my enemies."

"Called it," Morty said

"Uhhg Morty Jr," Morty said grabbing his head in frustration.

The three of them were distracted when they heard a noise from the front door. They looked over to see the mailman putting mail through the mail slot.

Morty Jr. ran out the front door and pressed his face against the glass, "Daddy, can I go outside?"

"No! Absolutely not!" Morty said pulling Morty Jr. away from the door.

"But that's where all the people and animals are," Morty Jr. said with a scary look in his eyes.

"Yeah but you can't go out there, b-be-because the air is poisonous! For you! You you'll die instantly if you ever leave this house. You hear me," Morty said in a panic.

"Really?" Morty Jr. said looking down with a sad look.

Myra had to admit it probably wasn't a good idea for Morty Jr. to go outside right now but in time he could. The lie was going to spiral out of control.

"For real times, a million buddy," Morty grabbed Morty Jr. and brought him back into the living room, "So let's just stay inside and dance. Right, look at me yeah we're dancing," Morty said doing some weird dance moves, "Come on we love to dance."

"Why do we love to dance?" Morty Jr. asked with a frown.

"Because I said so!" Morty screamed

"Wheeeheeehe!" Morty Jr. cried running out of the room.

Beth and Jerry coughed from the couch, "Nice," They both said.

Myra crossed her arms and looked at her brother. She shook her head and walked after Morty Jr.

She found the little guy crying in the closet. She knocked on the door, "Hey Morty Jr. can I come in?"

Myra heard more sniffling from the closet and the door opened. She walked in and sat down next to a teary-eyed Morty Jr.

"Hey come here," Myra said pulling the little guy in a hug.

Morty Jr. hugged Myra until he calmed down.

"Look your dad is just looking out for your best interest in his own twisted way," Myra said

She pulled Morty Jr. out of the closet, "I know something that'll make you feel better. Just don't tell your dad."

Myra takes Morty Jr. to her room and goes to her desk. She presses a button and the desk table flips over and it opens to reveal a state of the art game system. Speakers come out of the wall with several games and controllers.

"Now let me introduce you to the world of video games," Myra said

* * *

*BOOM*

"Haha!" Morty Jr. laughed as he blew up a group of zombies.

"Haha, awesome!" Myra said high fiving Morty Jr. "This is how your Aunt Myra keeps sane and destroy every idiotic person that crosses her path."

"I'm having a lot of fun Aunt Myra," Morty Jr. said

"Perfect. I've got a chainsaw upgrade lets work out some rage," Myra said

"Morty Jr.!" Morty yelled

"Quick!" Myra sad

Morty Jr. and Myra jump up and put the controllers back and she presses a button turning the desk into its original form.

"Morty Jr.!" Morty said walking into Myra's room.

The two were standing in the middle of Myra's room looking around.

"Hey, Morty what's up?" Myra said

"I came to say sorry to Morty Jr," Morty said bring Morty Jr. in a hug.

"Cool. cool," Myra said

* * *

"That is not okay!" Morty yelled

Myra walked into the living room when she heard Morty yelling. She saw Morty Jr. sitting on the couch smoking. He was now a teenager, wearing a leather men's jacket and he even had acne.

"What are you gonna do ground me. I can't go outside anyway!" Morty Jr. yelled

"Ahh the puberty beings," Morty said to herself.

"So what! You-yo-you could play guitar, you could masturbate," Morty said

Myra just face palmed herself.

"I don't wanna masturbate. I wanna conquer the planet," Morty Jr. said putting out his cigarette.

"You know there's always option B," Myra said holding up a phablet for the army. Myra thought it was a good idea. Morty Jr. would get the needed discipline he needs and he when he went to war he could kill as many people as possible.

"Not helping!" Morty yelled at Myra he turned back to Morty Jr. "Oh, here we go again! You know who do you think is gonna love you if you conquer the plant Morty Jr.!"

"Love. That's all you care about. What about weapons! What about the domination of the enemy!" Morty Jr. yelled

"That's it! No more history channel! This TV is for cartoon and video games only!" Morty yelled turning off the TV that was showing wars throughout the years.

"I hate your video games!" Morty Jr. yelled

"You take that back!" Morty yelled

Morty Jr. reached for the remote in Morty's hands and they started to fight over the remote.

"Y-ah gi-give it to me!" Morty said

Morty Jr. yanked the remote out of Morty's hands and Morty retaliated by pushing Morty Jr. although it didn't really do anything to the large alien.

Morty Jr. looked down sadly at his father.

Myra pulled out her camera ready to record the epic meltdown that was about to occur.

"I-I-I didn't mean to do that, I'm sorry," Morty said

Morty Jr. got an angry look on his face and threw down the remote smashing it, "I can't take this anymore!" He walked out the front door, "I'd rather breathed poison than live another minute with you!"

"No! No no no stop!" Morty yelled trying to keep Morty Jr. from running outside.

Morty Jr. easily pushed his father off and stepped outside. He took a deep breath of air and waited.

When nothing happens realization finally hits Morty Jr. he starts to run down the street screaming, "My life has been a lie! God is dead! The Government is lame! Thanksgiving is about killing Indians! Jesus wasn't born on Christmas they moved the date!"

"Well shit sure did hit the fan," Myra said from the door recording the whole thing.

Morty ran inside past Myra.

"Guess I better go find the guy before someone hurts haha who am I kidding he's the one who's gonna be doing all the hurting," Myra said to herself.

Myra runs to her room and grabs what looks like longboard without wheels. She stands on the board and taps the front two times activating it. The board starts to float in the air and Myra speeds down the street trying to find her half-alien nephew.

After about twenty minutes of hoverboarding, Myra hears the sounds of screams and destruction.

"Just follow the sounds of terror," Myra said

She rides through the town where she sees Morty Jr. throwing a car.

Myra was about to say something but is stopped by a car screeching to a halt in front of Morty Jr. He slams his hands on the hood of car denting it.

"Hey stop that!" Jerry yelled honking the car's horn.

"Oh my god dad!" Morty yelled

The two fall out of the car just as Morty Jr. lifts it above his head.

"Morty Jr. no! It's me its dad! It's okay now, put the car down!" Morty said standing up and facing the now adult size half-alien.

Morty Jr. seemingly still pissed and in a rage lifts the car up again.

"No! Where's your hands?! Where's your hands?" Morty put up his hands mimicking the kids show he first showed Morty Jr.

Morty Jr. threw the car down.

"My car!" Jerry yelled running to it.

"And that's how we play handy hands," Morty Jr. said joining Morty.

"Wow. Well when you know your kid," Myra said

She turned around when she heard a ship behind her and saw Rick and Summer landing on the road in a pink cruiser.

Rick jumps out of the cruiser raising his laser at Morty Jr., "Ou-outta the *burp* way Morty!"

"Welcome to the show," Myra greeted Summer who sat stunned in the cruiser.

Morty jumped in front of his son, "Rick no!"

"Morty that's one of the most violently aggressive creatures in the universe!" Rick yelled

Morty jumped on Rick, "He's my son! And if you hurt him you'll have to kill me, Rick."

Morty Jr. looked down at his dad and then looked around at all the destruction he caused.

"Euuurgh Dad I'm so confused," Morty Jr. said

"I know Morty Jr. I'm sorry, I ended up lying to you and yelling at you just like my parents did to me. Ya know parents are just kids having kids. One minute you like how a shiny robot looks and the next minute you're in a fistfight with your alien son," Morty said

"I'm an alien?" Morty Jr. asked

Myra face palmed for what felt like the twelfth time today, "Oh god he's as dumb as his father."

"We all have bad impulses bad thoughts we've just gotta channel them into something constructive," Morty explained

"That's what I've been trying to say," Myra said exasperatedly

"But I want to murder everyone I see," Morty Jr. said

"Is no one listening to me," Myra said

"Ya know, maybe there's a job out there for people that feel that way," Morty said

Myra didn't say anything and with a blank look held up another Military phablet.

"Actually, there is. Hi, I'm Brad Anderson. Creator of the nationally syndicated comic strip 'Marmaduke'.You should consider being a creative. I'm haunted by uncontrollable thoughts of mutilation and sexual assaults on a nearly daily basis. But you know? I channeled it all into my work," Brad said

"I never got that impression from reading Marmaduke," Morty said

"Well, did you get the impression I was trying to make you laugh?" Brad said before walking away.

"Tell me that wasn't Brad Anderson," Jerry said in awe with a smile on his face.

"See, you hear that, Morty Jr.? Maybe you could try being a creative of some kind," Morty said

"Maybe? I always have sort of wanted to see my face on the back of a novel like the ones Aunt Myra used to read to me," Morty Jr. said

"Wait Myra-?"  
Morty Jr. cut off his father, "I mean what I really wanna to is slit people's throat, But, beyond that."

"I know you can do it, son," Morty said with a smile.

"I think it's time I get a place of my own. I promise I call you every day I need money or a place to do laundry," Morty Jr. said before giving Morty a hug that looks like it might crush his spine.

Morty Jr. walks over to Myra, "Thanks, Aunt Myra you've always been there for me."

"Hey it's what Aunt do," Myra says before giving him fours fist bumps for all of his limbs.

Morty Jr. bounds away down the street and disappeared from everyone's sight.

Jerry walks over to Morty, "So, I assume this novel your son writes is gonna pay for my rear axle?"

"Way to ruin the moment Dad. I'll fix your axle," Myra said

? ﾟﾓﾖ? ﾟﾓﾖ? ﾟﾓﾖ? ﾟﾓﾖ? ﾟﾓﾖ? ﾟﾓﾖ? ﾟﾓﾖ? ﾟﾓﾖ? ﾟﾓﾖ? ﾟﾓﾖ? ﾟﾓﾖ? ﾟﾓﾖ? ﾟﾓﾖ? ﾟﾓﾖ?

Everyone one minus Myra and Rick was sitting wound in the living room watching TV, that had Morty Jr. on it discussing his new book.

"Mortimer Smith Jr. New York Times best-selling author. Your book is about innocence, the definition of it, and inevitably its impossibility. Is it autobiographical?" An interviewer asked  
"Certainly. I mean, all writing is, in my opinion. But, my… My father… kept me locked in the house until I was a teenager, and there was violence and...threats of poison gas. But also dancing," Morty Jr. said

"But you persevered and created this masterpiece from your suffering. Smith Jr.'s mind-bending novel, "My Horrible Father"." The interviewer said  
"It's a thankless job, Morty. You did the best you could," Beth said

"I hope he's eating enough," Morty said

"There's also a special dedication and chapter that doesn't center around your father if I'm not mistaken," The interviewer said

"Yes, there is," Morty Jr said opening his book to the front page, "This book is dedicated to my wonderful Aunt Myra who was always there for me. Chapter 10 discusses how she was my positive outlook in my bleak world when my father was well as the title says horrible."

"Riveting stuff, pick up his book in every store, we'll be right back," The interviewer said

Myra walked in the living room holding a smoothie, "Hey Morty Jr. finally made his novel and he's on TV good for him."

Myra looks at her family who were all staring at her, Morty's jaw was dropped and the rest had surprised looks.

"What?" Myra questioned


	9. Rixty Minutes

**Rixty Minutes**

The family was all gathered in the living room watching tv, well most of them were. Myra and Rick sat looking uninterested at the show that was going on. It was some twisted form of the bachelor, Myra and Rick gave absolutely no shits about the show.

" _Cynthia," The man said_

"Oh, my God! No, no," Jerry said as he leaned into the tv.

"I told you!" Summer said

"Hold on," Beth said

" _Will you, please….Not marry me? I choose Veronica," The TV said_

"What?" Summer said

"Yes!" Beth yelled

"Called it," Jerry said raising his arms in victory.

"Why would he choose Veronica?" Summer questioned

"Because he loves her," Jerry said

"Well if it's any consolation, Summer, none of it mattered, and the entire show is stupid," Rick said

"Agreed," Myra said

"Okay, I've got some ideas, Rick. Why don't you stop corrupting my daughter and show us your concept of "good TV", and we'll crap all over that," Jerry said

"I thought you'd never ask," Rick said getting up.

H walked over to the cable box and picked it up. He simply dropped on the ground smashing it open.

"Hey!" Jerry shouted

Myra walks over to Rick and hands him a pink crystal and he hooks it up to the cable box.

"Oh, cool! Is that crystallized Zanthonite? It conducts electrons across dimensions," Morty said to his family believing that he got it right.

"Twenty percent accurate, as usual, Morty," Rick grabs the remote from Morty and hooks the cable box back up, "The important thing being I just upgraded our cable package with programming from every conceivable reality."

"Wait, does that mean we get Showtime Extreme?" Jerry asked with a smile.

"How about Showtime Extreme in a world where man evolved from corn," Rick said turning on the TV.

On the show, there was anthropomorphic corn. One corn man was pointing a gun at the other.

" _We're not so different. We're both corn of action."_

" _Yeah. But one of us is dead corn!"_

"Boring," Summer said

"Summer, you just spent three months, watching a man choose a fake wife," Rick said

"So what? It'd be better if the people were corn?" Jerry said

"Jerry, you don't get it. This is infinite TV, from infinite universes. Look," Rick turns the challenge.

"An alien talk show," Rick said

" _Hahaha Welcome back to Gajing, our next special guest is from the Royal family. Let's welcome Prince Mason," A reporter said_

Hearing that name Myra tenses up.

 _Mason walks out on the stage waving as the crowd cheers._

" _Mason, I am so pleased to have you on my show," Gajing said_

" _Me too, it always nice to visit my citizens and see how they're faring. It's the best way to make sure you're all happy," Mason said_

" _Haha, you'll make an excellent King someday. Speaking of becoming a King you've recently taken over the Royal Guards from your father correct."_

 _Mason turns his attention to the crowd, "Yes I have! I've been waiting for that day for quite some time and I owe a large amount of my success to my lovely and beautiful Myr-"_

" _This shit is delicious."_

Myra had snatched the remote from Rick and turned the challenge. Everyone looked at her as she tried to calm down the panicked look on her face, "I-I was getting bored."

Rick takes the remote back from Myra and turns his attention back to the Tv where a man was eating a bowl of shit, "Look a movie about a guy eating shit," He turns the channel, "A violent Antiques Show."

He turns the channel again but everyone was surprised to see Jerry on Letterman.

" _It's a pleasure to have you."_

" _The pleasure's all mine," Tv Jerry said_

"Letterman from a timeline where Jerry's famous," Rick said before turning the channel.

"Wait!" Jerry yelled

"What in the hell?" Beth said

"I agree. Where is this going?" Rick said about the show where a teddy bear was spinning a web.

"No, the other thing! Go back!" Jerry said pointing at the Tv.

"Really? All right, fine," Rick said turning back to shit eating movie.

" _Glenn, this is a court order. It says you can't eat shit anymore."_

"All right, Jerry, when you're right, you're right. Now I'm hooked," Rick said

Myra sighs and pinches her brow at her grandfather's oblivious attitude.

? ﾟﾓﾺ? ﾟﾓﾺ? ﾟﾓﾺ? ﾟﾓﾺ? ﾟﾓﾺ? ﾟﾓﾺ? ﾟﾓﾺ? ﾟﾓﾺ? ﾟﾓﾺ? ﾟﾓﾺ? ﾟﾓﾺ? ﾟﾓﾺ

" _Coming up next on 'Shmloo's the Shmloss', Shmlony has a nightmare."_

" _Shmlantha, Schmlona!"_

"Amazing. A dimension where all proper nouns begin with 'Schmla'," Rick said

" _Schmlove, Schmlandula, Schmlonathan"_

"All right, that got that actually got old pretty quick," Rick said turning the Tv.

"Rick, would you please go back to me on David Letterman?" Jerry said annoyed

"Infinity's a big number, Jerry. I don't remember the channel," Rick said as he channel surfed passing by a movie starring Jerry.

"Go back, go back!" Beth said

"Jeez," Rick said

" _You speak da tru-tru," Tv Jerry said_

"Oh my God! Dad's in Cloud Atlas!" Summer said

"I'm in Cloud Atlas! What's Cloud Atlas?" Jerry said

" _Sometimes small tru-tru different than da big tru-tru," Tv Jerry said_

"Amazing. I didn't think dad could be famous in any reality. Well at least not for being good at something," Myra said

"How is this possible?" Beth asked amazed.

"Infinite timelines, infinite possibilities. Including a timeline where Jerry's a movie star. Look, you guys are getting excited about the wrong aspect of this device. Wa Look at this," Rick said

" _And now, another Quick Mystery._

 _I just want to know who could've done something like this. It's a travesty!_

 _I did. See this knife and all the blood on it? Here's my fingerprints._

 _Guilty! I sentence you to life in prison._

 _Here's another Quick Mystery._

 _My mother's dead!_

 _And I killed her. Here's the weapon. And cuff me, thank you very much._

 _Guilty! Sentenced to murder._

 _Here's another._

 _I'm the killer!_

 _Wow, that one was really quick, wasn't it?"_

"Now who wants to watch random, crazy TV shows from different dimensions and then who wants to narcissistically obsess about their alternate self?" Rick said

"I want to obsess about myself," Summer said

"The narcissistic stuff," Jerry said

Rick pulled out some virtual reality glasses, "Here, These scan your retinas, and let you view parallel timelines through genetically matching versions of your eyes. Go fetch!" He yelled tossing them into the kitchen.

"Yes! This is so cool!"

"Ladies First!"

"I'm proud of you, two," Rick said patting Morty and Myra's heads.

"Hey man, I don't give a crap about myself, Rick," Morty said

"Yeah I'm satisfied with my current dimensional self," Myra said

"Now, Let's watch some crazy stuff, yo!" Morty said as Rick turned the channel.

" _I'm Ants-In-My-Eyes Johnson, Here at Ants-in-My-Eyes Johnson's Electronics. I mean, there's so many ants in my eyes! And there's so many TVs, microwaves, radios I think, I can't I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock, because I can't see anything. Our prices I hope aren't too low! Check out this refrigerator! Only $200! What about this microwave? Only $100! That's fair! I'm Ants-in-My-Eyes Johnson! Everything's black, I can't see a thing! And also I can't feel anything either, did I mention that? But that's not as catchy as having ants in your eyes. So that always goes, you know, off by the wayside. I can't feel. It's a very rare disease. All my All my nerves, they don't allow for the sensation of touch. So I never know what's going on. Am I standing? Sitting? I don't know."_

Morty turned the channel and a post-apocalyptic war zone was shown.

"Cool a war movie," Morty said

"Nah Morty that's *burp*, not a movie look," Rick said pointing to the corner of the screen.

On the corner of the screen was a logo for what looked like a news station.

"*Huff* *Huff* My camera crew and I are hiding from the destruction and chaos-Ahhhhhhh!"

The camera falls over and points up at a figure. Myra's and Morty's eyes widen when they see Myra wearing armor, carrying several weapons, and being carried by several men on a throne.

" _HAHAHA Bow down to your superior!" TV Myra yelled as she held up a staff._

"Hmmm it seems in that universe Myra's an evil tyrant," Rick said

Morty and Myra just look at each other with wide eyes before Morty changes the channel.

After about an hour Myra stood up.

"I'm gonna go make a phone call," Myra said leaving.

Myra made her way upstairs and pulled out her cellphone, she searched through her contacts and dialed the number of her boyfriend.

"Myra, perfect timing I was just about-"

"Don't Myra me! Why'd you announce my name on some intergalactic talk show?" Myra questioned annoyed.

"Well you see I uhm well," Mason tried to explain.

"Well I'm waiting," Myra sadi

"*Sigh* Because what I said about you was true Myra, you really do help me push forward and I want everyone in every galaxy to know you're special to me," Mason said

Myra blushed, "Uhm *Cough* Well I..that's sweet and all, but next time ask for my permission before you include me in one of your speeches."

"Can do my love-"

"And you're taking me out somewhere nice to make up for it," Myra said cutting off Mason.

"Haha, I can do that too," Mason said ,"You know I was about to call you. I was already gonna take you out to celebrate taking over the Royal Guards."

"Sounds good to me," Myra said

"I'll pick you up tomorrow night," Mason said

"Great, Bye Bye," Myra said

"Perfect. See you soon my love," Mason said hanging up the phone.

Myra hung up and felt her heart speed up a little, "I don't think I'll ever get used to him calling me that."

* * *

Myra made her way downstairs and joined Morty and Rick back on the couch for some interdimensional TV.

" _It's a 45 horsepower with anti-lock brakes, and it's the official car of Mr. Sneezy 3D. It's the brand-new Sneezy XL. The horn when you honk it makes a sneeze noise._

 _It's polite, it's right, and it's Sneezy Deezy Mc Deluxe. Oh, I'm Mr. Sneezy! Achoo!"_

"Huh, seems like TV from other dimensions has a somewhat looser feel to it," Morty said

"Yeah, it's got an almost improvisational tone," Rick said

" _It's in theaters now! Coming this summer: Two brothers. In a van. And then a meteor hit. And they ran as fast as they could from giant cat monsters. And then a giant tornado came and that's when things got knocked into 12th gear. A Mexican armada shows up. With weapons made from To-tomatoes. And you better bet your bottom dollar that these two brothers know how to handle business. In: Alien Invasion Tomato Monster Mexican Armada Brothers, Who Are Just Regular Brothers, Running In a van from an Asteroid and All Sorts of Things THE MOVIE! Hold on, there's more! Old women are coming, and they're also in the movie, and they're gonna come, and cross attack these two brothers. But let's get back to the brothers, because they're they have a strong bond. You don't want to know about it here, but I'll tell you one thing: The moon it comes crashing into Earth. And what do you do then? It's two brothers and and th-they're It's called Two brothers Two brothers! It's just called Two Brothers."_

Rick stood up, "I'm gonna grab a snack."

* * *

Rick, Myra, and Morty found a show called Ball Fondlers and it was way better than the name let on.

"I'm in heaven right now," Rick said eating wafer cookies.

"Now this is good tv," Myra said

"This might be the best day of my life," Morty said

As the show went off and a new one came on Summer stormed through the living room with tears in her eyes catching Morty and Myra's attention.

" _It's Saturday Night Live! Starring a piece of toast! Two guys, with handle-bar mustaches! A man painted silver who makes robot noises! Gar Manarnar! Three uh uh, uh, uh, I'll get back to that one A hole in the wall, where the men can see it all and returning, for his 25th consecutive year: Bobby Moynihan!"_

"Interesting fun fact, uh, Moynihan and piece of toast hate each other. Apparently, they've got some real creative differences," Rick said before he changed the channel.

" _Hey, are you tired of real doors, cluttering up your house, where you open 'em, and they actually go somewhere? And you go in another room? Get on down to "Real Fake Doors"! That's us. Fill a whole room up with 'em. See? Watch, check this out! Won't open. Won't open. Not this one, not this one. None of 'em open! is our website, so check it out for a lot of really great deals on fake doooooooors!"_

The man in the commercial suddenly walked off set and got in his car.

"Hey, wait a minute, Rick. I thought this was a commercial," Morty said

"What's going on?" Myra questioned

"Relax, Don't worry about it Let's just just see where this goes," Rick said

 _The man on the TV is seen driving through traffic, "Step on it, we all got places to be! Son of a bitch!" The man keeps driving and makes it home._

"See, that must be where he lives OK," Morty said pointing at the TV.

"Making himself a sandwich now," Rick said

" _Hey, everybody! So this is my house, I just made a sandwich, peanut butter, and jelly, still here, still selling fake doors!"_

"What?" Myra and Morty said

"Oh, my God! It's still the commercial!" Rick said

" _We have fake doors like you wouldn't believe! What are you worried about? Come get fake doors. Call us up, and order some fake doors today. Don't even hesitate, Don't even worry and don't even-"_

"All right, I'm bored, Change it," Rick said holding up the remote.

"Wait wait, Rick! Hold on," Morty said

" _-Even give it a second thought. That's our slogan. See it on the bottom of the screen, below our name. Here's another slogan, right below that one. What are you worried about? Come get fake doors Get in here quick, get out quicker, with an arm of fake doors in you arms."_

"Okay, okay, you can change it," Myra said

" _I hate Mumunmunundsdays. And I really could go for some enchiladas."_

"Hey Rick, that's pretty cool! It's just like Garfield, only instead, it's Gazorpazorpfield," Morty said

"Hey isn't Morty Jr, half Gazorpazorp," Myra said

"Yeah, Gazorpazorp is where uh where those Sex robots came from, remember? That whole thing?" Rick said

"Yeah hey, that's pretty, pretty that's true. That's right! Yeah," Morty said

"Let's watch some more Gazorpazorpfield," Rick said turning up the volume.

As Rick turned up the volume on the Tv Myra's watch beeped and she stood up, "Welp I'm done for now, gotta go handle some business."

Myra walked into the kitchen and saw her two parents on the floor while her mother was shotgunning a box of wine.

"Did you really talk me out of the abortion?" Beth asked

"Well, we blew a tire on the way to the clinic," Jerry said

"I think, in my head, I was doing it all for the kids. And now the first kid is going to do something with turquoise," Beth said

"What is either code for crystal meth, or a gateway to it," Jerry said

"So we didn't do the kids any favors. So, we should stay together for each other and ourselves, or…." Beth said

"Or…..?" Jerry said

That's when Myra decided to make her presence known.

"You're both hot messes," Myra said getting her parents attention. She walks over to her mom and grabs the box of wine, "Pull yourselves together. Your parents for christ sakes and no your not doing us any favors. But what parent does get it right. Having some pity party of the floor isn't gonna solve the problems. Life is hard and it keeps throwing punches but unless you fight back then you're just gonna end up on your ass while life gets some free hits on you. Grow up!" Myra walks out of the kitchen and grabs the dimensional eye scanning goggles on her way, "And I'm taking these too!" Myra yelled leaving her stunned parents behind.

Myra makes it to her room and puts the goggles on, "Let's see what's so great about this."

" _HAHAHAHA Burn it down!"_

"Hmmm this is tyrant me-," Myra said

" _In order to properly provide adequate crop growth, we need to slash and burn these areas of shrubbery here and here."_

"Whooooo seems to be great at crop rotation. What the hell is going here?" Myra questioned

" _My lady the armada is attacking," A man said running into the room. "Well, then we must attack. If they think that their gonna make these people suffer any longer then they will face the wrath of Myra the liberator HAHAHAHAHA!"_

"Hmmm I seem to be a conqueror who liberates people but has a twisted laugh," Myra said

Myra takes off the goggles, "Ehhh I still like my life better. Besides, if I wanted to conquer a planet of suppressed people I could do that any day."

Myra goes and throws out the goggles out in the trashcan by the door, but she doesn't notice when a hand reaches in through the door and pulls the goggles out from the trash.

* * *

Myra was walking out of her room when she saw Morty go into Summer's. She peeks into the door to see Summer angrily packing clothes.

"Hey, uh Y-Y-Y-You doin' okay? I-I-I kind of know how you feel, Summer," Morty said

"No, you don't. You're a younger sibling. You're not the cause of your parents' misery. You're just a symptom of it," Summer said

"Can I show you something?" Morty asked

"Morty, no offense, but a drawing of me you made when you were 8 isn't gonna make make me feel like less of an accident," Summer said

Morty angrily points outside the window, "That, out there? That's my grave."

"Wait, what?" Summer said freezing. She walks over to the window next to Morty.

"On one of our adventures, Rick and I basically destroyed the whole world. So we bailed on that reality, and we came to this one. Because in this one, the world wasn't destroyed. And in this one, we were dead. So we came here, a-a-and we buried ourselves, and we took their place.

And every morning, Summer, I eat breakfast, 20 yards away from my own rotting corpse," Morty said

"So, you're not my brother?" Summer asked

"I'm better than your brother. I'm a version of your brother you can trust when he says, "Don't run". Nobody exists on purpose, nobody belongs anywhere everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV," Morty said

"Yeah Summer," Myra said coming into the room. "Life is just some endless random round about. I was kidnapped by an alien to be some sex slave and I end up dating an alien on the planet I was taken to. You've just gotta enjoy what you can and fight back when life tries to fuck you over. If the Summer's you saw in the different dimensions were boring losers that would make you the best one. So just come and watch Tv."

Summer looks a little hesitant but processes her sibling's words and puts on a small smile before walking out the room to head downstairs.

"A-aren't you a little freaked out about the dead twin thing?" Morty questioned hesitantly.

"Huh? Oh, I figured that out like a few days after you dug the graves. I've already had my breakdown and come to expect it. You might not be the Morty I grew up with but you're still my Morty and life's too short to dwell on this," Myra said

She drapes an arm over Morty's shoulder and they both walk to downstairs.

"Hey Morty, Myra, you just missed a preview for your Dad's 'Citizen Kane'," Rick said

"Doesn't matter," Morty said winking at his siblings.

"Hey, if you're, uh, mother and I had to split custody who would you guys choose?" Jerry asked with a worried tone.

Myra just laughs at her dad's question.

"Doesn't matter," Summer said fist bumping Morty.

" _Breaking News: Academy Award-winning actor Jerry Smith is leading police on a slow-speed pursuit after suffering an apparent breakdown."_

Rick raises the remote to change the channel.

"Don't even think about it," Jerry said with a stern voice pointing at Rick.

"Yeah I wanna see this," Myra said

"Come on, Jer- Are you kidding me, Jerry? It's just a bunch of dumb tabloid crap," Rick said

Jerry grabs the remote from Rick, "It's my life, and we're watching it."

Everyone watched as the Jerry on TV was riding on a mobile scooter on the highway followed by several cops.

"Where the hell am I going?" Jerry asked

"What are you asking me for Jerry? *Burp* I'm sitting *Burp* here trying to figure out why the cops don't just take you out. *Burp* They got a clear shot to your head. I can't believe our tax dollars pay for this." Rick said

Th Jerry on Tv pulls up to a house and runs to the front door. After a few minutes, a person walks out of the house and hugs Jerry. Morty, Myra, Jerry, and Summer all gape at the Tv when they see Beth hugging Jerry on the Tv.

Everyone turns around they see a crying Beth who had the goggles in her hand. She runs over to Jerry as they both embrace and start making out.

After the two stay lip-locked Myra, Morty, Summer, and Rick get annoyed and turn back to the Tv.

"Hey, Ball Fondlers? Huh? Ball Fondlers?" Rick questioned

"Yeah, I could go for some Ball Fondlers," Summer said

"Yeah, Ball Fondlers," Morty said

"Sounds good to me. The best thing I've watched in awhile," Myra said

* * *

Myra was walking to her room when she saw the goggles that her mom dropped earlier.

She picks them up, "One more look couldn't hurt."

Myra turns on the goggles and see's the Myra Liberator in the heat of battle, "It seems like this is the only other me that exists."

 _The other Myra was fighting with a sword in one hand a plasma blaster in the other. Suddenly she's pushed down when an arrow flies over barely missing the Myra's head._

" _Be careful love"_

"Wait that voice," Myra questions

 _The other Myra puts her hand in an outstretched one and stands. The real Myra gasp when she sees Mason standing in front of her with an arrow in his shoulder._

" _You tell me to be careful but what about yourself?"_

" _Don't worry my love a mere scratch." The Mason pulls the arrow as if it's nothing and wraps his arms around the Myra. "You know how hard it is to kill me."_

" _Yeah yeah, mister, I've got advanced healing and two hearts."_

" _Haha that's right and both hearts are for you my love," The Mason said pulling the Myra in for a kiss._

" _Save the rest for the victory party," The Myra said pulling away and pulling out more weapons before going back into battle. The Mason smirks and follows after Myra._

The real Myra takes off the goggles with a smile on her face, "Guess life isn't as random as I thought it was."

"Come on Myra were taking a family vacation to a world where hamsters live in people's butts," Jerry said coming up behind Myra.

"Uhhh okay?" Myra said following after her dad.


	10. Something Ricked This Way Comes

**Something Ricked This Way Comes**

"Greetings people!" Myra said walking into the dining room carrying a stack of textbooks.

SLAM

Myra dropped all of her textbooks on the table and sat down at the table grabbing some food.

"So Myra how's your first week of college going, my little genius," Jerry said

Myra just raised an eyebrow at her dad, "How do you think? It's like a normal school but I have more access to better books and I can sleep through class without the teacher yelling at me."

Jerry just looked at his daughter stumped while she went back to eating. He was about to say something to her when sparks flew towards his face. Rick who was sitting across from Jerry was working on some type of robot and the debris flew in the lateral faces.

"Hey, Rick. I have to make a project for the science fair this weekend. You think you could help me out?" Morty asked walking into the dining room.

"Whatever," Rick said putting the finishing touches on his robot.

"Well, I mean, traditionally, science fairs are a father-son thing," Jerry said

"Well, scientifically, traditions are an idiot thin," Rick said

"Morty, I think it would be fun for you to work on a science project with your dad," Beth said typing on her phone.

Myra looked over her mother's shoulders seeing what her mother wrote.

"Ahhh smart move," Myra said quietly to her mother.

Morty looked down at this phone and then approached his father, "Uh... Yeah, dad. Why don't we do it together?"

"Yes! You backed the right horse on this one, son. We'll get out the crayons, brew some coffee, and knock this thing out in two or three days," Jerry said with a smile.

As soon as Jerry finished talking is when Rick finished his robot.

"What is my purpose?" The small robot asked

"Pass the butter," Rick said

The little Robot rolled across the table and pushed the plate of butter over to Rick who swiped a piece off with his knife.

"Thank you," Rick said

Morty looked at Rick and then his father, who was playing some weird pop the balloon game on his tablet. He sighed apathetically after comparing the two.

"Haha good luck Morty, you're gonna neeeeed it," Myra said

"Dad, I need a ride to work," Summer said coming into the room holding her purse.

"Maybe Rick can give you a ride. I'm helping Morty with science," Jerry said

Myra chokes a little on her pancakes from laughing at her father.

"I'm busy," Rick said

"Doing what?" Summer asked

"Uh, anything else," Rick said with an eye roll.

Simmer glared at Rick who glared right back.

"What is my purpose?" The little robot asked interrupting the glare fest.

"You pass butter," Rick said

The robot looked down at its hands, "Oh, my god."

"Yeah, welcome to the club, pal," Rick said putting more pancakes in his mouth.

"How depressing. Well since that's your purpose how about you pass some butter my way," Myra said

? ﾟﾤﾖ? ﾟﾤﾖ? ﾟﾤﾖ? ﾟﾤﾖ? ﾟﾤﾖ? ﾟﾤﾖ? ﾟﾤﾖ? ﾟﾤﾖ?

Myra was hanging out in the living room when Morty and Jerry walked in the room. Jerry carried various supplies in his arms and dumped them out on the floor. Myra saw things that were used to make arts and crafts, not real science.

"I'm out," Myra said standing up and about to walk out the room.

"No Myra, you don't have to go. This'll be a good learning experience for you too. Some father, daughter, son bonding," Jerry said

"Learning experience? You do know I'm in college right. I-" Myra stopped talking when she saw the pleading look on Morty's face.

"Uhhhggg. Fine." Myra said sitting down next to Morty.

"Great," Jerry said with a smile.

"You owe me," Myra whispered harshly to Morty.

"Why don't we do a model of the solar system? That's what my dad did with me when I was your age," Jerry said

"Oh god," Myra said face palming.

"Oh, okay. You know, Rick's in his lab, making cyborgs and wormholes and all that weird stuff, but this is real science," Jerry said grabbing the twins in a hug.

"Oh yeah. I always use yarn and paint when I do my science," Myra said sarcastically.

Jerry, who didn't pick up on the sarcasm just kept talking, "A man and his two kids, making planets. Hey, how about we use a ping-pong ball for Pluto? And then Jupiter-"

"Uh, actually, I don't think Pluto's a planet," Morty said

"Of course, Pluto's a planet, son. I learned that in the third grade," Jerry said

"Well, yeah, but you know they changed it," Morty said

"Yeah, he's right," Myra said

"Morty, Myra, nobody changed the planets," Jerry said

"I just googled it. Pluto's not a planet. They changed it in 2006," Morty said

"Yeah needs some pictures to dad," Myra said holding Morty's phone closer to Jerry's face.

Jerry pushed down his kid's phone, "Yeah, I heard about that, Morty. And I disagree."

"You disagree?" Morty and Myra said

"That's right. It's possible to disagree in science. Pluto was a planet. Some committee of fancy assholes disagree. I disagree back. Give me a ping-pong ball," Jerry said putting his hand out.

Morty stood up, "Um, okay. I-I just have to…"

"Go find Rick and go over my head about Pluto?!" Jerry said with a raised voice.

"No. Geez, I just got to go to the bathroom. Damn," Morty said

"Oh. Okay, good. This is gonna be fun," Jerry said

Myra just looked at her dad before standing up.

"Where are you going?" Jerry asked

"This ship is sinking fast so I'm gonna pull out," Myra said walking out the room.

"But-"

"Nope," Myra said putting her hand up as she walked out of the room.

* * *

Myra made her way to the garage.

"Whats going on here?" Myra asked Morty and Rick.

"Your sister is working for the devil," Rick said

"Uhhh okay. Welp, I'm gonna stay out of that one," Myra said turning back around and walking out Myra made her way back to the living and sat next to Jerry, "Alright you win this one."

"What was Morty doing?" Jerry asked Myra

"Talking to Grandpa Rick," Myra replied

"I knew it!" Jerry yelled before running out of the room.

Myra just sighed and followed her dad back out to the garage.

Instead of going through the house Jerry ran outside to the garage door and lifted it up in a dramatic huff.

"What are you guys talking about?" Jerry asked walking into the garage and putting his hands on his hips.

"What a drama queen," Myra said

"Apparently, nothing," Rick said

"You asked him if Pluto's a planet, didn't you?" Jerry accused Morty.

"No!" Morty said

"It's not,' Rick said crossing his arms.

"Shut up, Rick," Jerry said

"Whoa," Rick said putting his arms up in a defensive manner.

"I don't care what anyone says. If it can be a planet, it can be a planet again. Planet. Planet, planet, planet!" Jerry said before running back out of the garage.

"Stay scientific, Jerry," Rick said

"Just why," Myra said before going back in the house.

* * *

The day quickly turned into night as Myra helped Morty paint the solar system while Jerry still harped on the Pluto is a planet thing.

"What is he doing now?" Myra asked Morty, as they looked at their father argue on the phone.

"I think he's arguing on the phone with Nasa," Morty said

"For the love of-That's a fight you're not gonna win!" Myra shouted over to her father.

"Shush Myra!" Jerry said before he went back to yelling on the phone.

After a few more minutes Jerry got off of the phone and walked into the living room.

"I think I know what the 'a' in NASA stands for," Jerry said

"Dad, what's your endgame?" Morty asked

"Ain't no game, sucka," Jerry said doing a gang pose.

Myra chucked a styrofoam ball at her dad, "Bad dad. Stop trying to be hip."

"Why don't we just make the solar system with eight planets? It's even easier," Morty said

"Sure, sure, and why don't we just burn Galileo at the stake for saying the sun is round? Science isn't always easy, Morty," Jerry yelled

"That was- I can't even comprehend how stupid you sound," Myra said

Suddenly the room started to shake as the art supplies on the ground started to float, then the three of them started to float too.

"Whoa! Whoa! What the hell?!"

Suddenly the three were pulled up to the ceiling. The ceiling broke and three flew up through the hole into a flying saucer above them.

"Seriously! Fucking again!" Mya yelled

The spacecraft that abducted Morty, Myra, and Jerry, had flew for a while before finally stopping. A door opened giving the three a view of what looked like a palace.

"Uggh I'm having flashbacks," Myra said

Suddenly an alien was carried towards them on a throne.

"I'm king Flippy Nips, ruler of Pluto. We discovered you quite by accident during routine surveillance of your world. You really gave it to those guys at NASA," Flippy Nips said

"I was-you know, sometimes science is about conviction," Jerry said

"I'd like to introduce you to a few people that very much agree with you," Flippy Nips said grabbing Jerry's arm and pulling him somewhere. The three were led out to a balcony where thousands of aliens were waiting, "Plutonians. Jerry Smith is a scientist from earth, where he's creating a model of our solar system. Jerry, tell Pluto about your decision."

"Um... Pluto's a planet," Jerry said

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"Pluto's a fucking planet, bitch!" Flippy Nips said raising Jerry's arm.

"Oh, man. This is definitely gonna go to his head," Morty said

"What do you mean gonna. It already has," Myra said

* * *

"And now we're on Pluto where the King is using my dad as some scapegoat show monkey," Myra said talking into her watch.

"Pluto? You mean that little moon or is it a comet now?" Mason pondered

"That's not the point. I'm trapped on an alien planet, with idiots flourishing all around me. There's also this," Myra point her watch at her leg.

A Plutonian can be seen hugging onto Myra's leg looking like he going to town.

Mason's eyes turn red, "GET OFF HER!"

"Ahhhhh!"

Even through a video screen, Mason could be terrifying when he's angry. The Plutonian quickly detached itself from Myra and ran away.

"He's not the first either. I stomped out a couple of few earlier," Myra said

"Well if they won't leave I'll just have to come to you," Mason said still seething.

"No! I still haven't told my parents about you and my dad is here," Myra said

"Then I'll send a guard to watch you," Mason said

"No wait Mason-aaannndd he's gone," Myra said

"Lady Myra."

"Gah!" Myra shouted jumping back.

Myra turned around to see a giant suit of armor.

"Prince Mason has sent me to ensure your safety until you returned home to earth," The guard said

"*Sigh* Did he have to send his biggest guard. What kind of battle are you even built for?" Myra questioned

"I'm from the torture division My Lady," The guard said

"Of course, you are. Let's go," Myra said

? ﾟﾗﾡ? ﾟﾗﾡ? ﾟﾗﾡ? ﾟﾗﾡ? ﾟﾗﾡ? ﾟﾗﾡ? ﾟﾗﾡ? ﾟﾗﾡ?

"Man this went from 0 to 100 so fast," Myra said looking at the tv screen.

"We're back on 'Good morning, Pluto.' And a very good morning it is for our guest, earth scientist Jerry Smith, who's making headlines with his bold announcement that is what, Jerry?"

"Pluto is a planet."

"Well, how about that. I love it."

"Morty and Myra Smith," Someone said catching the twins attention, "I'm Scroopy Noopers. I'm a scientist. Can I show you something?"

"Uh, we better not," Morty said

"Right now," Scroopy Noopers said pulling out a laser gun.

Myra's guard reached around for some sort of maiming weapon.

"Put it down," Myra said to the guard before following the Plutonian.

Scroopy Noopers led the twins underground to a cavern where there seemed to be a lot of digging going on.

"It looks like some type of mine," Myra said

"The center of Pluto, Mr. and Miss Smith, is made of a substance called 'Plutonium'. Mines like these suck Plutonium up to the cities, where corporations use it to power everything, from diamond cars to golden showers. And the more we remove, the more Pluto shrinks." Scroopy Noopers said

As soon as he finishes talking the ground shook for a few seconds.

"There it goes again. Just shrank a little. But a few years ago, your scientists noticed Pluto had gotten so small they couldn't even call it a 'planet' anymore. Should've been our wake-up call. But the rich Plutonians won't wake up, and they love your dad telling everyone Pluto's a planet because that means they can keep mining until Pluto goes from planet to asteroid to meteor, and finally…" Scroopy Noopers picked up some Plutonian dust and blew it on Morty and Myra.

"Um, a party?" Morty questioned looking up at the sparkling dust.

Both Myra and Scroopy Noopers slapped their foreheads.

"Is everyone in your family an idiot?" Scroopy Noopers snapped.

"Well, for sure me and my dad are," Morty said

"Yup, just those two. If you think what he just said was stupid imagine what comes out of our dad's mouth daily," Myra said

"Well, all you two have to do is get him to admit that, and you could save four billion lives," Scroopy Noopers said

"Yeah, you know, the thing is my dad's really insecure," Morty said

"Meh, I don't mind crushing his self-esteem," Myra said

* * *

"Lady Myra, do you need any assistance!" The guard said from outside Myra's bathroom door.

"For the last time no!" Myra said with an annoyed tone.

Myra was currently getting dressed in a formal dress from some big banquet being held for her father.

"Actually there is something you can do," Myra said

Myra exited the bathroom in a beautiful black cocktail dress with her hair up in a messy bun. She had her makeup done in a smoky fashion thanks to Summer for helping her in her 'women' lessons as she called it.

"Here," Myra said tossing the guard her phone, "Would you take a picture for me. It's the first time I've ever dressed myself this nicely and I want to document the occasion."

"Yes, Lady Myra!"

The guard took several pictures of Myra before handing the phone back to the girl.

"Wow, these are really good shots. Well if you can have a side job, you should think about being a photographer," Myra said

"Thank you for the compliment Lady Myra," The guard said

"Come on let's go to this stupid party," Myra said walking out the door.

Myra met her father and brother outside.

"Myra uhm who is this?" Jerry asked looking at the armor-clad man standing behind his daughter.

"Oh no one you should worry about," Myra said patting her dad's shoulder as a limo pulled up.

"But uhm-"

Myra just ignored her dad and went inside the limo followed by her guard.

Jerry and Morty got in too and the limo took off.

Jerry gave the guard another strange look before pulling down a mirror and 'primping' himself.

"Alright just one more rally, then I promise we'll get back to your science project," Jerry said picking at his teeth.

"Dad, Pluto isn't a planet. It's shrinking because of corporations," Morty said

"Yeah, that's what that anti-planet nut job Scroopy Noopers was screaming about outside the ministry of money's fundraiser. Are you telling me four billion Plutonians are wrong?" Jerry said doing various maintenance task on himself.

"You said science wasn't easy!" Morty said

"I said science isn't always easy. Obviously, that means sometimes it is easy. Let's not debase ourselves with word games, son," Jerry said

"Dad, their whole planet is dying," Morty said

"Ha! You called it a planet. Checkmate," Jerry said pointing at Morty.

The limo came to a stop and Jerry immediately hopped out, "What's up, Pluto?"

"*Sigh* Let's just get this over with. Here," Myra said hanging Morty some flash cards.

"What are these?" Morty asked

"Some notes to make to dad tonight, so that you can convince him that Pluto isn't a planet," Myra explained

"Aren't you gonna say something to him?" Morty asked

"Do you really think that's a good idea? You know what I'll do to him right," Myra said

"Point taken. Don't worry I've got this Myra, thanks for the cards," Morty said

? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ?

Everyone was gathered at the party. Jerry was being surrounded and complimented on his "pluto is Planet Theory. Myra was standing off to the side eating some strange food and drinking something that was purple and sweet.

"Mr. Smith, please tell my friend here what you just told me. Go on," A woman Plutonian asked Jerry.

"My very eager mother just served us nine pickles, and the 'pickles' is Pluto," Jerry said

"My god, the man's a genius," A Plutonian said

"Um, excuse me," Morty said clinking a glass trying to get everyone's attention.

"Morty, what?" Jerry questioned

Morty pulled out the cards Myra had given him, "Dad, what did you think about the recent report published by the Pluto science reader linking Pluto-quakes, sinkholes, and surface shrinkage to deep-core Plutonium drilling?"

Jerry looked around blankly before opening his mouth, "Well, son, what did you think when you were 5 and you pooped your pants, and you threw your poopy undies out your bedroom window because you thought it was like throwing something in the garbage?" Everyone laughed, "I mean, I'm trimming the hedges, and these things are just hanging there. Was I supposed to think the poop bunny left them?"

"Good one, dad," Morty said lowly with sad eyes, before walking away.

"*Sigh* See what I have to deal with?" Myra asked her guard.

"I feel your pain Lady Myra," The Guard said

Myra downed her drink before following after her brother. She caught to her brother and wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"C'mon let's go steal a ship and go home," Myra said

* * *

Just as Myra said they stole a ship and Myra flew them home. When they landed Morty immediately went in the house. Myra stayed behind to talk to the guard.

"Well, I guess your job here is done. I have to admit you were a big help, I didn't have to hit any aliens with you around. You did an excellent job," Myra said

"Thank you, Lady Myra. It was a pleasure guarding you," The guard said

He opened a portal about to head back but was stopped by Myra.

"Hey, would you mind giving this to Mason when you get back," Myra said handing the guard a picture.

"Yes, Lady Myra. Have a good night," The guard said before stepping into the portal.

"You as well," Myra said before going into the house.

* * *

Myra was in her room when she saw a light come from her window. She walked over to see a spaceship drop her father on the front lawn on his ass. He had a forlorn look on his face as he walked into the house. After about 20 minutes Myra heard a knock on her door.

"Myra, can I come in?" Jerry asked

Myra sighed, "Sure dad."

Jerry came into her room, "Listen about what happened on Pluto-"

"No need to say anything. I get it," Myra said

"But I-"

"Nope dad. It's fine," Myra said pushing Jerry out her door.

"Uhh, good talk?" Jerry said

"Great talk dad," Myra said before closing her door.

Myra was about to head off to bed when she heard crying. She walked back over to her window and saw Summer standing at the front door whimpering.

"What now?" Myra asked herself.

Myra made her way downstairs where she saw Summer going into the living room, with mascara dripping down her eyes.

"How's your pretend grandpa doing, aka 'the devil'?" Rick asked

"He dumped me," Summer said

"Oof. Sorry," Rick said

"Did we learn a lesson here I'm not seeing?" Summer asked as she slumped onto the couch.

"Not sure," Rick said

"Maybe in a much bigger way, Mr. Needful gave us both what we really wanted? Because I was always jealous of you hanging out with Morty and Myra, and you didn't realize how much you valued my approval?" Summer said

"No, that's dumb," Rick said

"Yeah, not satisfying," Summer said

"I'll tell you what, though. If-if-if it's satisfaction you're after, I think I might have an idea," Rick said before whispering into Summer's ear.

"Uh-huh. Uh-huh, totally. Let's do it," Summer said with a smile on her face.

Myra smiled at the two before walking back upstairs.


	11. Close Rick-Counters of the Rick Kind

**Close Rick-Counters of the Rick Kind**

The family was gathered around in the kitchen eating breakfast.

"So, dad, guess what tomorrow is?" Beth asked Rick.

"Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday," Rick said

"No. Well, it... might be," Beth said

"It is," Rick said

"Fine. But also, tomorrow is your one-year anniversary back in our lives. I'm gonna make you flying-saucer-shaped pancakes," Beth said with a smile.

"Oh, t-t-there's no need to do that, Beth. Regular pancakes are fine," Rick said

Suddenly a portal opens in the wall and a Rick and Morty step out. The Rick has a scar on his face and the Morty has an eyepatch one, and they were both holding guns. The Rick raises his gun and shoots the Rick at the table causing the family to scream and panic.

"Oh, my God!"

The Morty pulls up his gun and shoots the Morty at the table with a dart knocking him out, Myra quickly stands up but before she could do anything she's hit with a dart too falling forward knocked out.

"Oh, what is happening?!"

The Rick and Morty grab the knocked out Myra and Morty disappearing into the portal.

* * *

"Happy anniversary, dad," Beth said setting down a plate of pancakes with a candle in them. "Oh, I get it. Regular pancakes are already shaped like flying saucers. I-I should be making you breakfast for putting up with me," Rick said before taking a bite.

"You should be making us a whole restaurant," Jerry said crossing his arms.

Beth gives Jerry a glare before turning back to Rick, "Nonsense. We couldn't be happier to have you around. I just wish I got to see more of you."

Before anyone could say anything else a portal opens up in the dining room and several, Rick's appear.

"Rick Sanchez of earth dimension C-137, you are under arrest for crimes against alternate Ricks by the authority of the trans-dimensional council of Ricks," One of the Rick's said.

The Rick grabs Rick and puts him in handcuffs, while others grab Myra and Morty.

"Hey! What the heck?!" Jerry yelled standing up.

"Neutralize the Jerry," Rick #2 said.

"Wait! No! I'll-!" Jerry yelled out but one of Rick's shoots an ice beam at Jerry freezing him.

"Dad!" Summer yelled

"Dad!" Beth yelled angrily.

"Rick!" Morty and Myra said

Rick stood up with raised hands, "Everybody, relax. If I know these a-holes, and I am these a-holes, they just want to haul me to their stupid clubhouse and waste my time with a bunch of questions. Let's get it over with."

"Bring his Morty and Myra," Rick #2 said

"Oh, man," Morty said

"Seriously," Myra said

The two are grabbed and have handcuffs out on them along with Rick.

"Leave my Morty and Myra out of this," Rick said

"You lost the right to have a say in these things when you refused to j-join the council," Rick #2 said

"W-w-w-what about Jerry?" Beth asked

"Will you at least unfreeze my daughter's idiot?" Rick said being pulled through the portal.

* * *

Morty, Myra, and Rick step out of the portal and enter a large hall with various Rick's, Morty's and Myra's in it.

"Geez, Rick, w-what is this place?" Morty asked

"The citadel of Ricks. It's the secret headquarters for the council of Ricks," Rick said

"Council of Ricks?" Myra questioned

"As you know, you two, I've got a lot of enemies in the universe that consider my genius a threat galactic terrorists, a few sub-galactic dictators, most of the entire intergalactic government. Wherever you find people with heads up their asses, someone wants a piece of your grandpa and a lot of versions of me on different timelines had the same problem, so a few thousand versions of me had the ingenious idea of banding together like a herd of cattle or a school of fish or those people who answer questions on yahoo! Answers," Rick explained.

"Hey! What do you know? It's a cowboy version of me," Morty said

"Really Morty?" Myra said with a raised eyebrow.

"Geez, you're easy to impress. Yeah, most timelines have a Rick, and most Rick's have a Morty and Myra. This place is a real who's who of who's you and me. Turn your boring, old Morty into a- hot fashion statement with some Morty dazzlers. Protect your Myra better with the Myra tracker 2.0. Hey, check this out," A Rick pulls out a doll of Myra and Morty, "Show me the Morty. That's sick!" The Morty and Myra dolls said

"Dumb," Rick said

Rick, Morty, and Myra were walked through the place seeing various versions of themselves. Myra looked over to see a group of Myra's comparing their techno watches. One pressed a button and a hologram projection appears.

"Ooooo I've gotta build that into mine," Myra said

A Rick came up holding a flyer, "Excuse me, sir, is your Morty insured? You know, every year, hundreds of Morty's are injured-"

"Back off! Not my cup of tea, this place. I say the point of being a Rick is being a Rick," Rick said "Save your anti-Rick speech for the council of Ricks, terror-Rick," said one of the guard Ricks. "Hey, save your Rick rules for the sheep-Ricks, Rick-pig," Rick said

"Fuck me, pal," Guard Rick said

"Fuck you? No, no, no, no, no. Fuck me," Rick said

The group is brought to a large door and enter. Inside are several Rick's sitting on thrones.

Myra giggles into her hand, "Haha nice hair."

Rick, Morty, and Myra are brought to the center of the room and presented to the council.

"Bring up the holograms," Several hologram screens project Rick but he was murdered in each photo.

"Wow," Myra said

"27 Ricks brutally murdered in their own timelines- an unprecedented Rick-icidal epidemic. What say you, earth Rick C-137?" Council Rick asked.

"You think I did this? Why am I the first Rick you pull in every time a Rick stubs his toe?" Rick said

"You have a history of non-cooperation with the council," Council Rick said

"Yeah, so does the scientist formerly known as Rick. W-w-w-w-w-why isn't he here in handcuffs?" Rick asked

"Because he's dead, too!" Council Rick yelled pulling up the hologram, "Who else would you have us question? You fit the profile. Of all the Rick's in the central finite curve, you're the malcontent, the rogue."

"I'm the Rick, and so were the rest of you before you formed this stupid alliance. You wanted to be safe from the government, so you became a stupid government. That makes every Rick here less Rick than me," Rick yelled

The Rick's in the room started murmur around the room.

"Yeah, murmur it up, d-bags. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got pancakes back home with syrup on top of them. They're about to hit that critical point of syrup absorption that turns the cakes into a gross paste, and I hate to get all Andy Rooney about it, but I think we all like Fluffy disks of cake with syrup on top, and I think we also like to be accused of crimes when there's evidence! So, as they say in Canada, peace oot!" Rick said turning around.

"Evidence! Good idea. Scan his portal gun!" Council Rick said

One of the guard Rick's opens Rick's lab coat and pulls out his portal gun.

"Oh, come on. Don't look at another man's portal-gun history. We - we all go to weird places," Rick said

"Yes, but it appears you alone have been going to the exact timelines and locations in which the murders occurred," Council Rick said

"WHAT!?" Myra yelled, "That's fucking wrong!"

"Yeah like my granddaughter said that's Rick-diculous! I'm obviously being set up," Rick said "Earth Rick C-137, the council of Ricks sentences you to the machine of unspeakable doom, which swaps your conscious and unconscious minds, rendering your fantasies pointless while everything you've known becomes impossible to grasp. Also, every 10 seconds, it stabs your balls," Council Rick said

"I've heard enough," Rick said

"Me too," Myra said

Rick elbows the guard holding him and grabs the laser shooting off his handcuffs. Myra headbutts the second guard and presses a button on her watch it gives off an electric charge and short circuits the handcuffs making them fall off. Rick uses the laser to shoot Morty's handcuffs off. The three start running as Rick picks up his portal gun.

"Run, Morty! Run Myra!" Rick yelled

A random Morty started running but was pulled back by his Rick and Myra, "Unh-unh. Not you."

The original Rick, Morty, and Myra continue to run making their way down a hallway. An army of Rick guards pursue after them all holding guns.

"Aaaah!" Morty screamed

Rick pulled out his portal gun and shot several portals behind him releasing unknown horrors on the guard Rick's.

The three run to a balcony and jump out. Rick aims his portal gun down and makes a portal letting the three fall through. They land on a giant butt softly and make their way to the ground. Morty and Myra hold their noses seeing that they're in a field of giant butts with toilet paper trees. A portal opens above them and more Guard Rick's fall through with Morty's and Myra's making the three-run again. Rick opens another portal and they quickly run through.

They quickly go through a dimension where two pizzas were sitting on a couch. They went through a second portal entering a world with greasy grandma mothers. They quickly dodge the greased up old women and slip through another portal. They jump through seeing a phone sitting on a pizza ordering a phone that was shaped as a person and go through another portal. They end up in some weird colorful world coming out the side of a cliff. Rick quickly opens up several portals on the side of the cliff and the three jump through the last one.

They come through the portal seeing chairs sitting on people holding a pizza phone.

"That'll keep 'em busy for a while," Rick said walking through the front door of the chairs house.

As the three walked down the street chairs gave them odd looks.

"Those guys were wrong, right? Y-y-y-you-you wouldn't kill yourself-yourselves," Morty asked

"Of course not, Morty. How could that profit me? But someone out there is killing Ricks, and the council ain't gonna stop thinking it's me until we clear our names by finding the real Rick-killer," Rick said

"I'm scared, Rick. Maybe we should go home and stockpile weapons, like that show 'doomsday preppers'," Morty said

"Not really my style, Morty. Besides, your home is most likely swarming with Rick's by now," Rick said

"Haha dad must be having fun," Myra said

? ﾟﾓﾱ? ﾟﾓﾱ? ﾟﾓﾱ? ﾟﾓﾱ? ﾟﾓﾱ? ﾟﾓﾱ? ﾟﾓﾱ? ﾟﾓﾱ? ﾟﾓﾱ? ﾟﾓﾱ?

The Smith's house was full of Rick's, Morty's, and Myra's setting up tech and just roaming around the house.

"All right, listen, Jerry. If Rick calls, this device is gonna trace his location. You just got to keep him on the phone for 30 seconds or longer," A Rick said

Beth walked into the room holding a tray of drinks, "Who wants lemonade?"

Rick's, Morty's, and Myra's all smiled as Beth went around the room handing out drinks.

"Oh, yeah. Mmm!"

"Oh! Delicious!"

"Beth you're a treasure."

"I have a Be*burp*th just like you in my reality, except you know what? She's not as brilliant or att*burp*ractive," A Rick said

"Aw. Tha*burp*nk you," Beth said

"Oh! She did! She did it!" The Rick's said laughing.

Suddenly the phone started to ring and Jerry quickly picked it up.

"H-hello?" Jerry questioned

"Hey, Jerry, it's Rick."

"Rick! Hey. What's-what's up?" Jerry asked

"So, listen, the heat's on, and there's nowhere left to turn, so Morty, Myra, and I are just gonna fly my spaceship into a black hole."

"What?!" Jerry yelled

"Is that cool with you, dawg?"

"Daaaad!" Myra yelled over the phone.

"Rick, no! Morty! Myra!" Jerry yelled

"We got it. The call's coming from... inside the house!"

All of the Rick's and Myra's start laughing as a Rick and Myra comes from around the corner holding a phone.

"Look at his face! You dummy! Can't believe our daughter married you. Too easy!"

* * *

Rick, Morty, and Myra had made their way to a restaurant and were now sitting down having an Italian phone dinner.

"The Rick's and Myra's are probably gonna waste some time messing with Jerry. They won't be able to help themselves. But as soon as they get bored, they'll be onto us," Rick said messing with his portal gun.

A chair waiter came to their table, "Phone's à la clams and phonesghetti with phone balls. Anything else?"

"Yeah, more phone sticks, please," Myra said holding up a basket.

"Right away, Miss," The waiter said walking away.

"You know, Rick, Myra when I first saw all those Rick's, Morty's, and Myra's I thought, 'Gee, that kind of devalues our bond'. But then I realized it just means that our relationship must be pretty special to span over all those different timelines," Morty said

"Awww that's sweet Morty," Myra said patting his back.

"Yeah, it's got to be that way. You're a camouflage and you're a shield," Rick said

"Camouflage?" "Shield?" Morty and Myra questioned

"What are you talking about, Rick?" Morty asked

Ricks have a very distinctive and traceable brain wave due to our genius. The best way to hide from an enemy's radar is to stand near someone with complementary brain waves that make ours invisible. See, when a Rick is with a Morty, the genius waves get canceled out by the, uh... Morty waves," Rick said drawing a small diagram on a napkin.

Morty picks up the napkin, "Um... Because o-our personalities are so different?"

"What's this about me being a shield?" Myra asked crossing her arms getting slightly irritated.

"For Myra's the fact that they attract so much attention to themselves with the whole alien sex hormones they make the perfect distraction for Rick's and they also prevent Morty's from dying," Rick said

Myra narrows her eyes at Rick clearly pissed. She knew about the whole alien pheromones things but Rick was purposely using her as some sort of distraction for alien pervert. She was like a bone being waved in front of a hungry dog. She and Morty were just human meat puppets for Rick to save his own ass.

"Oh, shit, dawg. My portal gun was hacked remotely, obviously by the real killer, to frame me. But I was able to trace the signal. Come on. Let's go," Rick said standing up but as soon as he did the doors to the restaurant opened. Two Rick's, a Morty, and Myra came in, "Uh-oh."

"Excuse me. We've tracked a trio of dangerous criminals to this exact location. They look exactly like us, so in order to avoid confusion, I'm gonna mark us each with a red 'X' right now. That way, if someone has a gun and we both tell you to shoot the other one because they're the evil one, you'll know who's lying," A Rick guard said.

While they were talking Rick, Morty, and Myra slipped off their clothes onto one of the people chairs and ran outside. They hopped into the cruiser the guard Rick's had. Myra flipped them off as Rick drove off.

"Hey, you didn't pay your bill!" The waiter yelled coming out of the restaurant.

"The red 'X'! Red 'X'!" Guard Rick said pointing at his forehead.

"Hey, it's a good thing that space outlet had lab coats and your favorite kind of shirt in stock, huh, Morty? And Myra got a cool new look," Rick said

Rick and Morty had found clothes in their original style but there was no such luck for Myra. She now wore a yellow turtleneck halter crop top with an open back, with a pair of high-waisted blue shorts.

Morty and Myra were still mad and had glares on their faces as they refused to look at Rick. "Yeah, Rick, I-I heard you the first time. You don't have to keep saying it over and over," Morty said

Myra just kept her mouth closed deciding that she was gonna ignore Rick completely.

"Man, this place is way off the grid. This guy does not want to be found," Rick said

"Well, if he's a Rick, doesn't he just have to stand by a Morty to hide? I mean, isn't that what Morty's are-human cloaking devices?" Morty said

"Or maybe he should put a few Myra's outside his hideout they'll make a great distraction," Myra said just as angry as her twin.

"Morty, Myra, you're making a bigger deal out of this than it is," Rick said

Rick flew the stolen cruiser further into the unknown planet and the twins eye's widened when they saw a large dome, but it wasn't the dome that made them gasp. The dome had hundreds of Morty's strapped to the outside of it. Each of them were being probed into the side causing them to cry out as they bled.

"Oh, my God, you guys, look! There's a bunch of people strapped all over that building!" Morty shouted.

"Not people, Morty-Morty's," Rick said

"Holy crap!" Myra shouted

"W-w-why would somebody do this? It's horrible!" Morty said

"Well, one Morty's enough to hide from the bureaucrats, but you get-you get a whole matrix of Morty's and put them in agonizing pain, that creates a pattern that can hide even from other Rick's motherfucker. I fiddled with a concept like this once," Rick said as he landed the cruiser, he turned to the twins and saw the disgusted/angry looks and held up his hands in defense, "On paper, M's. On paper. I wouldn't do this. It's barbaric overkill. I mean, you could accomplish the same result with, like, five Morty's and a jumper cable," Rick looks over at the twins and saw them glaring, "Which I also wouldn't do! I'm just saying, it's bad craftsmanship."

"Well here are the Morty's, so where are the Myra's?" Myra asked

"Good question," Rick said

* * *

Back at Smith's House

A group of Rick's and Myra's were playing cards while their Morty's watched.

"Coffee time!" Beth said from the kitchen.

"Yeah!"

"Yo, yo, yo, yo!"

"That's what I like to hear!"

All the Rick's got up going to the kitchen leaving the Myra's and Morty's to play cards.

While they were leaving another Rick walked into the living room from the patio but this one looked much different from the rest. He had buck teeth and bowl cut. He went over to the couch and sat next to Jerry who looked sadly at his laptop.

"Hi, Jerry," Doofus Rick said

"Leave me alone. I'm working," Jerry said angrily to Doofus Rick.

"Oh, you are? W-w-w-what do you do?" Doofus Rick asked

"I-I'm-I'm in between advertising jobs," Jerry said

"Advertising? Wow! So, people need help figuring out what to buy, and then y-y-you help 'em?" Doofus Rick asked

"Well, it's a little more complicated than that," Jerry said

"Well, I mean, you do it, and you seem like a guy who really has it all together," Doofus Rick said

Jerry raised an eyebrow and got a suspicious look, he looked around him and behind the couch then back at Doofus Rick, "Dude, are you-w-you're being a dick, right?"

Oh, gosh, I-I hope not. I wouldn't want to offend you in any way," Doofus Rick said lifting up his arms. "You're really a Rick?" Jerry asked

"Y-of course I am-just as much as my Morty's a Morty, and my Myra's a Myra," Doofus Rick said pointing over to the table.

"Hey, they look a lot like Eric Stoltz from the movie 'mask.' You know, the one with Cher in it?" Jerry said

"That's right, Jerry! The-they're from a reality where everyone is Eric Stoltz 'mask' people. They're Eric Stoltz mask, Morty, and Myra. They assigned them to me because I never had any kids of my own. But if I did, boy, I'd love them if they were as smart and as successful as you are, Jerry," Doofus Rick said

Jerry smiled at the compliment, at this moment the Ricks who went to get coffee came back in the room.

"Hey, get a load of this. Jerry's hanging out with doofus Rick."

"This is perfect."

"I'm not doofus Rick! I'm Rick j19-zeta-7!" Doofus Rick said

"Oh, is that the timeline where everybody eats poop? Jerry, you know this guy eats poop, right?" A Rick said

"Hey, I don't eat poop! Y-you guys are always so mean to me," Doofus Rick cried out before putting his head in his hands.

The Rick's laughed at him some more before going back over to the cards table.

"I guess it's only fair to tell you now, Jerry. I'm the worst Rick of them all," Doofus Rick said

"According to who-other versions of you? If I've learned one thing, it's that before you get anywhere in life, you gotta stop listening to yourself," Jerry said

"Wow. You really are wise, Jerry. I-I-I guess that's why you work in advertising," Doofus Rick said "The fact that you feel that way makes you the best Rick of them all," Jerry said

? ﾟﾖﾥ? ﾟﾖﾥ? ﾟﾖﾥ? ﾟﾖﾥ? ﾟﾖﾥ? ﾟﾖﾥ? ﾟﾖﾥ? ﾟﾖﾥ? ﾟﾖﾥ?

"You don't care about us at all! We're no different than that jacket you've got on! Y-y-y-o-or your stupid portal gun! We're just tools! Just objects!" Morty yelled at Rick as the group walked through the hallways of the dome.

Myra chose to go the silent route and plot her revenge against Rick for a later time.

"Hey, it's your choice to take it personally. Now, for the love of God, be quiet. The point of this is to get the drop on the guy," Rick said sneaking around.

Morty chose to not listen and continued to yell, "You know what, Rick? I'll tell you something! Myra and I are more than human shields!" Morty yelled

"Yeah, that's right. You are. You're a perfect, impenetrable suit of human armor, Morty, because you're as dumb as I am smart, which is why when I say 'shut up,' it's really good advice," Rick said

Just as Rick finished his sentence several doors opened and large crab-like creatures came in and surrounded the three.

"Great. Nice work, Morty," Rick said

Rick took action and immediately started taking down the creatures. Myra pulled Morty behind her and started blasting the creatures with her watch. When all of the creatures were down more just took their place making Rick and Myra sigh in annoyance.

*Clap* *Clap* *Clap*

The three turned around and saw a Rick with a scar come in the room with a Morty who wore an eyepatch. They had two of the creatures with them and a Myra who was carrying a large gun, but Myra looked strange. She had a vacant expression on her face and wore a strange collar around her neck.

"Ooh. Look at you, C-137. You-aren't you a tough customer," Evil Rick said

"The slow clap? Really? Kind of played out, dude," Rick said

"Not in this dimension, it isn't. In fact, I invented it. Nobody else has ever even done it here before," Evil Rick said

"Well, la-di-da," Rick said slowly clapping.

"Hey, that's mine!" Evil Rick said slapping down the others hands.

? ﾟﾑﾏ? ﾟﾑﾏ? ﾟﾑﾏ? ﾟﾑﾏ? ﾟﾑﾏ? ﾟﾑﾏ? ﾟﾑﾏ? ﾟﾑﾏ? ﾟﾑﾏ? ﾟﾑﾏ

Rick, Myra, and Morty were being dragged through the dome. Although Morty seemed to still be angry at Rick. Myra was trying to figure out what was wrong with her other dimensional self.

"I don't like the look of that Rick, you two, and look at his Myra she's all weird and vacating. We got to escape," Rick said

"I'm not gonna help you, Rick. Y-you're a monster," Morty said

"Don't be Rick-diculous, Morty," Rick said

"Will you-will you stop saying that? It's stupid," Morty said

"Take his Morty away," Evil Rick said

"Come with me," Evil Morty said

"Yeah, gladly," Morty said following the Evil Morty.

Myra sighed and facepalmed herself, "Morty you fucking idiot."

Evil Rick turned to Evil Myra, "Take her to the room and get her ready for the operation."

"Wait operation!?" Myra shouted

"Oh yeah, see this here," Evil Rick said pointing to Evil Myra's collar, "Mind control collar surgically implanted, it sends signals through the spine."

"Are you fucking serious!" Myra yelled

"What the hell!" Rick yelled

"Haha everyone knows a Myra wouldn't willing help anyone torture a Morty, so I made this. Besides who the hell do you think build this place, y-you think I built this entire lair by myself. Myra's are as smart as they are good for alien sex pheromones," Evil Rick said

Evil Myra walked up behind Myra and shoved her gun into the others back, "Come along."

Myra didn't move which caused the gun to be shoved further into her back, "Alright I'm moving!"

Myra was walked through various hallways and they came upon a glass wall. When she looked up at the wall she gasped seeing dozens of mind controlled Myra's working on the dome. Myra was forced to a room that had a bed like table in the room. There was various surgical equipment there.

"Get on the table," Evil Myra said

"Uh-uh anyway to convince you to not do that," Myra said

Evil Myra didn't say anything but charged her gun and stuck it in Myra's face.

Myra still didn't move but let out a strangled gasp when she was grabbed and thrown on the table by one of the crab creatures. As soon as her body hit the table she was strapped down. Myra struggled but it was no use.

Evil Myra walked up to a panel and started inputting some data, "The operation will start in five minutes. It will be quick and painless."

"Is that supposed to comfort me?" Myra asked sarcastically.

The Evil Myra pressed some buttons and the table Myra was on started to glow.

"Shit…" Myra said lowly.

She turned her attention to Evil Myra, "So uhm you have no need to stop Evil Rick or save the Morty's?"

"All self-thoughts and emotions have been erased," Evil Myra said

"Ah come on! You're-were fucking Myra's! We do what the hell we want and keep Morty's from getting killed! How can you allow some little device control you?!" Myra yelled tugging at her restraints.

"All actions and commands come from Rick, there is no need to worry about Morty," Evil Myra said

"No need-no need to worry about Morty! Listen to Rick!? What the hell! How can you say that!" Myra yelled, "We don't listen to Rick's like obedient little puppies! I refuse to do so and so should you!"

Evil Myra gets an annoyed look on her face.

"I'm gonna Fight it! Fight it! FUCKING FIGHT IT!" Myra yelled

*SMASH*

"What the?!"

Rick was strapped to a table with Evil Rick hovering over him. There were several panels on the wall that were windows that showed the Morty's who were being strapped and tortured outside.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Evil Rick asked

"Yeah, yeah. Looks like payday at Neverland ranch in here. Zing!" Rick said

The creature next to him lets out a noise that sounds like a chuckle.

"That guy got it," Rick said with a smile.

"Unh-unh-unh, Rick. Quiet. You're missing my symphony," Evil Rick said before pressing a button.

The sound of the Morty's being hurt could be heard as the Evil Rick moved his arms like he was conducting a band.

"Hey, I'll take it over, Mumford & Sons. Zip!" Rick said

The alien next him let out the laugh like sound again making Rick laugh too.

"This guy is on it!" Rick said

"He's not laughing at your dumb jokes, Rick. That's just a random noise it makes every 10 seconds," Evil Rick said

To prove his point the alien makes the noise again.

"You see, Rick, you're not as clever as you think you are," Evil Rick pulls up a holo screen, "I wanted you to find me. We're not so different, you and I."

"Yeah, duh!" Rick said rolling his eyes.

Evil Rick pulls up multiple pictures of Rick's "See this right here, Rick? I crunched the numbers. I created a spectrum of all the Rick's. I listed them out from most evil to least evil. Here's where I am. And look it-right here's where you are, Rick," He said showing Rick was more evil than him. He slides over a few more pictures of Rick's, "This guy right here-super-weird."

"I get it. So you want me to team up with you to take down the council of Rick's, right? Is that where you're going with this? 'Cause that's where I'd be going," Rick said

"Please. I think I'm doing pretty good on my own. I'm simply gonna download the contents of your brain and then kill you," Evil Rick said making Rick looked stunned.

* * *

"What the?!"

The door to the operating room smashed open and dozen's of Morty's poured in. They attacked the guards in the room and one knocks Evil Myra to the ground knocking her out. The original Morty grabs the gun and shoots the restraints off of Myra.

"Wow, Morty! That was fucking awesome!" Myra yelled giving her twin a hug.

She quickly runs over to the computer panel and starts typing.

"What are you doing?" Morty asked

"I'm gonna hack into the system and free all the Myra's right….now!" Myra said

The Evil Myra's collar beeps and then falls off.

Over at the Myra work camp, all of the Myra's freeze and their collars beep and fall off.

"What the hell happened?" A Myra asked

"My head hurts," Another said

"How'd I get here?" Another Myra asked

The doors open to the work area and several Morty's come in calling out to the Myra's. The girls drop what they're doing and follow the Morty's.

 **Operation Room**

"Now then let's finish what you started," Myra said to Morty making her twin smile.

* * *

Evil Rick was watching Rick's memories.

"You've lived quite a life, Rick. It's a real shame you're not gonna be around to see it through," Evil Rick said

A view video's of Rick with Morty and Myra come up showing all the time Rick spent with the two twins. Then a video of Rick picking up baby Morty came up next to a video of Rick playing a prank on Jerry with baby Myra making her laugh. Tears well up in Rick's eye's seeing his grandchildren and their time together.

"You're crying? Over a Morty and Myra?" Evil Rick asked with a smirk.

"No, I'm just allergic to dipshits," Rick said

"Ugh. Pathetic. We both know that if there's any truth in the universe, it's that Rick's don't care about Morty's or Myra's," Eil Rick said

As soon as the words leave Evil Rick's mouth dozen's of Morty's and Myra's come crashing through the door and attack. Some take down the crab guards, while MYra's head over to the computers shutting down everything they can. A bunch of Morty's charge on and attack Evil Rick.

"Do your worst, you little bastards! Kill me! Do it! Do I-I-I-I-it!" Evil Rick yelled under the Morty's.

The Original Morty and Myra walk up standing next to Rick.

"Morty! Myra! Thank God! Get me out of this. Come on!" Rick said

"You're lucky I'm not a Rick," Morty said unstrapping Rick.

"Point taken, but this is no time for arcs," Rick said

Rick runs over to the panel and presses a button releasing all of the Morty's outside. He reaches over and grabs a phone dialing a number.

"Hey, what do me and O.J. not have in common? I found the real killer, bitch! Get over here!" Rick said before hanging up the phone.

Rick, Morty, and Myra stood by watching the Morty's still go crazy. While the Myra's just sat around looking bored. Suddenly several portals open up and Rick's start coming out and collecting Morty's.

"W-what-w-what's gonna happen to all these Morty's and Myra's?" Morty asked

"They'll go back to their families, attend school regularly, play video games, date. Poor little Rickless bastards," A Rick said

* * *

"Earth Rick C-137, the council apologizes for its false accusation, and in the way of reparations for our terrible mistake, we would like to compensate you with this voucher for a free replacement Morty in the event that your current Morty should-"

Rick cuts off the other Rick seeing the glare from Morty and Myra.

"Uh, guys, not a good time. Come on, M's. Let's hit it," Rick said turing the two around. He quickly turns back and grabs the coupon.

"Is it time for arcs yet, Rick? I did a pretty good job back there for a human cloaking device. Saved your ass," Morty said with a smug grin.

"Saved my ass too," Myra said giving Morty a playful punch to the shoulder.

"All right, Morty. Don't break an arm jerking yourself off, and stop helping him Myra," Rick said

"Man, I can't believe you, Rick. That right there, that w-that was a great opportunity to show a little humanity, you know? To connect with me a little," Morty said

"Hey, Morty, you want connection, go be part of some stupid club, like all those dumb Ricks. You know, maybe I don't connect because I'm the rickest, Rick, there is. And, you know, it would g-Go without saying that the rickest Rick would have the Mortyest Morty and the Myraiest Myra," Rick said

"It would go without saying, huh?" Morty said with a smile.

"Yeah, it would. Did you hear me say it?" Rick questioned

"Nah. The Mortyest Morty," Morty said with a happy smile.

"Just don't get too big for your loafers, Buster brown. A cocky Morty can lead to some big problems. It can be a real bad thing for everybody," Rick said pulling out his portal gun.

"Oh, yeah? How's that? U-uh, I'll explain when you're older," Rick said before pushing Morty into the portal home.

"Mortyest Morty and the Myraiest?" Myra said raising an eyebrow at Rick, "You just blew that out your ass. Hehe and all to make Morty happy. You really do care," Myra said with a smile.

"Whatever," Rick said rolling his eyes.

Myra smiles and gives Rick a hug surprising him. She pulls away and goes to step into the portal, "By the way, I'm fucking Myra I'm awesome in every dimension," Myra said

* * *

Evil Morty was getting on a ship with the rest of the Morty's and Myra's. He removes his eyepatch and reveals the transmitter that was controlling Rick. He smashes it with his foot, erasing all evidence of his involvement. He spots Evil Myra who smiles and waves at him ready to go home. The two meet up in the crowd and give each other an evil smirk before walking onto the ship to go home.

* * *

Myra walks into her room and sees's a USB Drive one her bed.

"What's this?" She questioned picking it up.

She plus the USB into her computer and opens a folder that had multiple videos in it. She clicks one of the video's and plays it.

The video opens with someone holding a camera and pointing it in the bathroom. Inside the bathroom was Jerry who was about to use the toilet. Whoever is behind the camera giggles along with several other people. Jerry drops his pants and lets out what he's been holding but instead of his urine going into the bowl it bounces back at him hitting him directly in the face.

"HHAHAHAHAH!"

The camera turns around to show several Myra's laughing.

Myra laughs to seeing the prank.

She clicks open more video's and they're all video's of Rick's and Myra's parking Jerry.

Myra laughs some more and wipes a tear from her eye.

"Hahaha, I'm gonna save these," Myra said.


	12. Ricksy Business

**Ricksy Business**

"So I'll see you tonight right?" Myra asked

"Yep wouldn't miss a chance to see your beautiful face in person," Mason said

"See you soon ya flirt," Myra said hanging up the phone.

Myra made her way downstairs to send off her parents for their so-called romantic weekend. Myra laughed her ass off when her dad said he was taking Beth on a romantic Titanic weekend. When she made it outside her parents were loading up the car. Jerry was dressed up as Jack from the Titanic movie and her mother looked like she wanted to constantly roll her eyes.

"Bye, mom! Bye, dad!" Summer said

"Drive carefully!" Morty and Myra said.

"Have fun, you two," Rick said

"Yes, we will have as much fun as possible on our...Titanic-themed getaway," Beth said clearly not thinking the weekend was gonna be romantic.

"Let's lose the tude, please. It's supposed to be romantic," Jerry said

"Speaking of disasters, dad, we are leaving you in charge, here," Beth said

"I know, c-can we wrap this up? Morty, Myra, and I have some synthetic laser eels oxidizing in the garage," Rick said

"Hey, don't blow me off. I am drawing a line, okay? Any damage to this house or these children when we get back, and...no more adventures with Morty and Myra," Beth said

"Eh I can handle that," Myra said shrugging her shoulders.

"Aw, geez, Rick. If my mom's the one who's saying it, then you know it's pretty serious this time," Morty said

"That's right," Beth and Jerry said.

"Wait. What?" Jerry questioned

"HA!" Myra laughed pointing at her dad.

"Listen, you have my word as a caregiver, everything's gonna be fine. And if not, like you say, no more adventures or whatever. It's like that old song 'blomp blomp-a noop noop a-noop noop noop'. You guys know that song? From tiny rogerts? You never heard of it? You know, the black effeminate guy from the '50s? No-nobody? A-all right, whatever. Look, who cares? Just go on your stupid trip," Rick said

"Not one thing out of place," Jerry said before he and Beth got in the car. Jerry pulled out of the driveway and rolled down the window sticking his head out, "Not a single thing." Jerry said before pulling his head back in the car. He and Beth drove off leaving Rick, Summer, Morty, and Myra alone. As soon as the car is out of view a hole melts in the garage door and several electric eels fly out. The garage door falls forward the hole in it surrounding the four.

"Well, we're past the point of no return. I'm going to have a party," Summer said

* * *

"I found jello. Can you sneak your mom's vodka? Yes, she does. I saw it in your laundry room. Listen, you can't both be in denial about it. Okay, bye," Summer said as she searched through the kitchen cabinets.

"Summer, you can't throw a party! Remember what mom said?" Morty said

"Yeah, if anything gets messed up, you, Myra, and grandpa Rick get punished. I'm only a human being, Morty," Summer said

"Rick, tell Summer she can't have a party!" Morty said

"Uh, Summer, you can't have a party. Because I'm having a party, b-I-I-I-itch!" Rick said

"Of course you are," Myra said

"Oh, what?! Rick, you can't! Myra help!" Morty said

"I'm gonna stay out of this one, I've kinda got my own plans going on," Myra said

"What do you mean you're having a party? Are some glip glops from the third dimension going to come over and play cards or something?" Summer mockingly.

"'Glip glop?' You're lucky a traflorkian doesn't hear you say that," Rick said

"Is that like their n-word?" Summer asked

"It's like the n-word and the c-word had a baby and it was raised by all the bad words for Jews," Rick said

"Listen, I think the four of us could just, you know, have a nice time, like just hanging out, and, you know, doing a little bonding and-"

"Screw that. This is my chance to gain some footing with the cool kids," Summer said

"That's why you party? Boy, you really are 17," Rick said

"Why do you party?" Summer asked

"To get wr-wriggedy wriggedy wrecked, son!" Rick shouted

"Just keep your Sci-Fi friends away from my awesome ones," Summer said

"Yeah, and you keep your awesome friends away from my canapes," Rick said finishing up some hors d'oeuvres.

"So, Myra what plans do you have? Do they involve a certain boy?" Summer asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah they do," Myra said

"Wait you're being serious," Summer said

"Yep, Mason's coming over," Myra said

"What are you gonna do!?" Morty asked

"Isn't it obvious we're gonna fu-"

"Lalala I don't wanna hear it!" Morty said running out of the room.

"Gross Myra!" Summer said following after Morty.

"Hehehe," Myra laughed watching her siblings squirm.

* * *

Pretty soon the party was on way with all of Summer's friends arriving. Myra rolled her eyes seeing all of the idiots. The doorbell rang and Summer ran to answer it.

"Brad! Hey!" Summer said

"Brad is here! Quick, make my hair look drunk."

"Check it out. Tammy's already drunk. Cool."

"God I can't believe we're the same species," Myra said

Summer went to close the door but was stopped by someone.

"The beacon was activated. Who is in danger?"

"Oh shit its Bird Person!" Myra said running over to the door.

"Ah young Myra, it has been a while since I have seen you," Bird Person said

"Ugh! Grandpa!" Summer yelled

"Bird Person!" Rick said coming downstairs.

"I am pleased there is no emergency," Bird Person said

"Oh, there's an emergency, all right. A fuck emergency! When's the last time you got laid, 'pers?" Rick said

"It has been a...challenging mating season for Bird Person," Bird Person said

"Then it's time to get your beak wet tonight, playah. Go have some fun out there birdp-bird-Bird Person," Rick said

"Oh, man, how many people did you invite, Rick?" Morty asked worry.

"Uh... people? Mm, six," Suddenly a ship lands in the front yard and dozens of small green aliens poor out, "Yo! What up, my glip glops?!" Rick said

"Oh, man!" Morty said

Myra was about to close the front door when a portal opened and someone stepped out.

"Mason!" Myra said running over. She jumped into the boy's arms wrapping him in a large hug.

"Hehe wow I've never seen you this happy to see me," Mason said

Myra realized what she was doing and jumped out of Mason's arms with a blush on her face and looked everywhere but him.

"What's going on here?" Mason asked seeing the commotion going on in the house.

"Oh, just a party," Myra said

"Interesting, I wonder how you throw parties on earth? Do people end up impaled or beheaded at your parties?" Mason asked

"Only the fun ones," Myra laughed pulling Mason inside, "Let's have some fun at the party and then we can have some alone time."

* * *

Mason had his arms wrapped protectively around Myra. Holes were already starting burn in her clothes as Mason's anger flared. Everything was going fine at the party at first but as soon as more aliens arrived Myra started to attract a lot of attention.

"You keep this up my clothes are going to incinerate," Myra said

"Fine," Mason said letting go of Myra revealing two hand sized singe marks on her shirt, "But if anyone even thinks about touching I'm gonna destroy them," Mason said as his eye turned red.

"Fine by me," Myra said

Myra noticed Morty running around with a garbage bag freaking out.

"Oh! Y-y-you know there's a garbage, right?" Morty said

"Man poor Morty he's freaking out big time," Myra said

"AHHHH!"

Myra quickly turned around to see an alien rolling on the ground screaming in pain as it held its arm which was gushing blood because its hand was missing. She looked down to see the aliens missing hand a few feet away and a smirking Mason.

"He tried to touch what was mine," Mason simply said

Myra just rolled eyes and grabbed Mason following after her frantic brother. The followed Morty into the den and saw a reptile-like alien eating a bird alien.

"Hey, uh, what the hell?!" Morty said

"Woah!" Myra said

A gelatine alien rolled up to Morty, "That's why you never invite a floopy doop and a shmoopy doop to the same party."

Myra looked at the gelatin like alien and saw that it had things stuck in it.

"Hey, that's my shoe!" Myra yelled out as the alien left the room. She was about to chase after him until she heard squeaking coming from above.

Myra, Morty, and Mason, ran upstairs into their parent's room. Something was in the bed with the sheet covering it as it moved back and forth.

"Oh, oh, g-oh, that's disgusting! You guys are in my parents' bed!" Morty said as he ripped the sheet off.

"Oh. Sorry. I'm not feeling too well. I just needed to lie down for a bit," An alien said coming out from under the sheet.

"Oh. Okay. S-s-sorry," Morty said

The alien gave Morty a smile back but then he vomited on the bed, which burned a hole through the mattress.

"Oh, my God! Are you kidding me?!" Morty said

Myra sighs and grabs her forehead, "Come on," She said grabbing Mason and pulling him out of the room.

* * *

Myra pulled Mason into her room shutting and locking the door behind her. She goes to her where her light switch was and lifted it up revealing a touch screen panel. She presses a few keys and a ding rings throughout the room. Suddenly the room becomes completely quiet and the sound of the party downstairs is gone.

"Soundproof panels," Myra said smirking at Mason.

"Smart," Mason said. He looks around Myra's room finally being able to get a good look. He looks around until his eyes land back on Myra. He smirks and slides up to her wrapping his arms around her waist, "Soooo we're all alone and no one can hear us."

"That's right," Myra said

"Seems pretty dangerous. I could easily take advantage of an innocent maiden such as yourself," Mason said laying a kiss on Myra's shoulder.

"Oh really now," Myra said pulling away from Mason and smirking, "What's stopping me from taking advantage of you dear prince?"

"I don't kn-woah…."

Myra laughed as she saw the stupor she had put Mason in. She had removed her shirt to reveal a bright red lacy bra. She walked up to Mason and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Mason finally broke out of his daze and picked up Myra planting his lips on her. He pulled away from her and smirked, "Let's see if this room is 100% sound proof."

Myra giggled as she thrown on the bed and Mason flung himself on top of her.

* * *

Myra had never felt this way before. Myra honestly believed in the science behind love, that it was just a chemical release of hormones and endorphins. That she should avoid love because it would slowly die down as the chemicals in her brain were filtered out, but there was something with Mason. She smiled as she snuggled closer into Mason's bare chest as the sheets covered the two. Mason played with her hair as the two just relaxed in the bed.

"You're officially mine now," Mason said

"Yeah yeah, Prince Possessive, it's not like I was going anywhere, to begin with," Myra said with a smirk.

"You've got that right," Mason said. He got a thoughtful look on his face, "I wanna introduce you to my family."

"You wanna do what now?" Myra said, "Isn't that moving a little too fast."

Mason grabbed Myra's hands and looked into her eyes, "Myra, you are the most important thing to me. I've never had a desire to have anyone like I do for you, the moment I saw you stab that monster I've wanted you. So I'm going to take you home and introduce you to my family as the most amazing enchanting creature you are."

Myra stared at Mason speechless, "Uh...hmm, ye-uh-woah…." Myra didn't really understand or know how to comprehend what was going on. She was rarely left speechless but here she was a loss of words.

"Besides if your gonna become Queen I'm gonna have to introduce you to them sooner or later," Mason said

"Wait what?" Myra questioned

"Hmmm? Oh it would be pretty awkward to have my family introduced to you on our coronation," Mason said

"WHAT?!" Myra said

"What's wrong?" Mason questioned

"What do you mean about Queen?!" Myra said hopping out of bed wrapping a sheet around her.

"You're gonna be Queen obviously. I've been wondering if our coronation should be combined with the wedding day or after," Mason said

"NO! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN QUEEN!" Myra yelled, "AND MARRIAGE!"

"Uhhhh what's the problem?" Mason questioned

"The problem is you're talking about marrying me and then having me become Queen!" Myra said

"Of course. I'm a prince who will someday become a King so I'm gonna need a Queen?" Mason questioned

"We've never even talked about, how could you assume something like that! The hell we haven't even been dating for a year!" Myra yelled

Myra started hyperventilating. A lot of new emotions were swirling in her head, Myra had no idea how to handle them.

"Oh," Mason said, "But that doesn't change-"

"It changes a lot. Oh, fuck, how I could be so stupid. I don't wanna be Queen, shit! God, I feel as stupid as my father!" Myra said

"Myra…" Mason said trying to grab the girl's shoulder.

Myra pulled away from Mason grabbing her head and freaking out more. Mason tried to say something else to Myra but he's stopped when a bright green light shined through the window and the room started to shake.

"What the hell know!?" Myra yelled

* * *

"Myra. Myra! Myra! Please stop and talk to me!" Mason yelled following after Myra.

"No way! I'm not talking to you! I'm not becoming Queen! And I'm gonna find out what the hell happened to my house!" Myra yelled running downstairs as she pulled her shirt down.

Mason stood in the hallway with a forlorn look. His sad look quickly changed to anger as his eyes turned red, "RAAAAAGGGGH!" Mason yelled out as he punched a hole in the hallway wall. He took several deep breaths before following after Myra.

"Rick! What hell is happening!?" Myra yelled as she found her Grandfather downstairs.

Rick walks over to the patio sliding doors and opens them, "Huh. Big star in the sky. Oxygen-rich atmosphere. Giant testicle monsters. We'll be fine! Let's party!"

"YEAAAAAAH!" A guy yelled taking his shirt off. He waved it around as he ran outside and was quickly grabbed by one of the testicale monsters and shoved into one of its holes.

"Ahhh fucking disgusting!" Myra said

Everyone was speechless and Rick looked around at the shocked faces. He quickly turns to the Stereo system and turns on the music.

"Just shake that ass, bitch, and let me see whatcha got!"

Everyone started cheering and getting back into the party.

"Okay we are on a different planet this has gone too far. MORTY!" Myra yelled running around looking for her twin followed by a desperate alien prince.

* * *

Rick, Summer, Morty, and Myra had gathered together and were now on the patio outside. Myra rolled her eyes at the sliding doors as she saw Mason waiting for her.

"I swear to God, Morty, if it weren't for the fact that everyone's still having a blast in there, I would be so furious with you right now," Summer said

"Oh, man. Y-you hear that, Morty? You really lucked out with Summer o-on that one," Rick said waving around a device.

"How are you guys not freaking out right now?! T-the whole house is sitting in another dimension! I-I mean, w-what the hell are we supposed to do?! M-m-mom and dad are gonna kill us! I'm losing it here, Rick!" Morty yelled out.

"Morty's right what the hell are gonna do! I'm freaking out what the hell ahhh!" Myra said freaking out.

Summer and Rick looked at the twins confused and a little worried. They had seen Morty freak out tons of times, that's what he normally did but seeing Myra like this was something new. Not knowing what to do Summer slapped her little sister across the face silencing her.

Myra grabbed her cheek rubbing it, "T-Thanks I needed that. I'm dealing with a lot right now," Myra said glancing over at the Mason.

Rick knelt down next to Rick and grabbed his shoulders, "Relax, Morty, relax! It's gonna be fine. All we have to do is go out and find us some kalaxian crystals. Oh, shit, motherfucker! Kalaxian crystals, Morty, just a few miles South of here."

"Okay. Let's go, then. W-w-we got to go get those crystals right now, Rick," Morty said pulling on Rick's sleeve.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Morty, Morty, I-I can't go with you. I got to hang back and make sure everything stays cool here, you know? I mean, who knows what-what if somebody breaks something?" Rick said

"Yeah. Me too. I should stay," Summer said

"I'll go with you Morty," Myra said

Suddenly the sliding doors open revealing Nancy along with Abradolf Lincoler.

"You guys have any aspirin?" Lincoler asked

"Oh, hey, Morty, Myra, this is perfect! You can take Lincoler with you," Rick said

"Hey, man, I'm not going anywhere. I'm injured," Lincoler said

"Shut up, Lincoler. It's the least *burp* you can do for wrecking the living room," Rick said pushing the guy forward.

"Yeah! And, Nancy, you should go, too" Summer said pushing Nancy forward.

"What? Why-why me?" Nany asked

"Because, uh, you're-you're so good at playing the flute," Sumer said

"I'm coming too!" Mason yelled pushing past Summer and following the group.

Myra just cringed and kept looking forward.

* * *

"So y-you're like my sister's boyfriend?" Morty questioned

"More than that," Mason said

"More?" Morty questioned

"Yep, although Myra doesn't feel that way," Mason said looking over at Myra.

Myra catches his eye and glares at him before turning forward.

"Y-yeah she seems pretty mad," Morty said.

"I may have moved our relationship too fast and assumed some things without discussing them with Myra," Mason said

Morty saw the sad look on Mason's face, "You know my sisters never been really good with dealing with feelings."

"That's….not good," Mason said

"B-But what I do know is that since my sister met you she's been happier. I think you're the first guy she's ever showed interest in and her new feelings a-are something she doesn't understand, a-and Myra hates it when she doesn't understand things. So y-you've gotta make her understand," Morty said

Mason looked at Morty surprised all three of his eyes wide, "Wow that makes sense, you know you're smarter than your sister said."

"Wha-?"

"Thanks, man," Mason said

"Haha no problem, also-" Morty grabbed the front of Mason's shirt and pulled him close glaring at him, "-if you hurt my sister it won't end well for you. I-I'm not kidding man, I don't know what'll I'll do but it'll be bad," Morty said before letting go of Mason and walking away.

Mason just looked at Morty, he dusted his shirt off and shrugged his shoulder, "Eh I've had worse death threats before."

The group continued to walk forward as Morty pulled out the device Rick was using to find the crystals.

"It's weird, 'cause I definitely think that all men are created equal. But, at the same time-"

"Okay! Um, the crystals should be really close," Morty said

"There they are!" Nany said

Morty, Nancy, and Myra ran forward to grab the crystals.

"Wait. Something's not right," Lincoler said looking around.

"Something's coming," Mason said

As soon as the words left Mason's mouth a beast jumped out of the bushes. I looked like a giant alien lion. It was purple, with sharp quills on the side of its body, lets not also forget it two heads. "Get the crystals! I'll handle the beast! Prepare to be emancipated from your own inferior genes!" Lincoler said attacking the beast.

As the four ran forward another beast came out blocking Myra's path, "Shit!"

"Myra!" Mason yelled, he jumped in front of the beast and kicked it just as another alien beast came out.

"Double shit!" Myra yelled, She went to activate her watch but swore when she saw it wasn't there. She thought back to earlier and then remembered she took off when she and Mason had 'relations', "Dammit I gotta stop taking that thing off!"

Myra dived out of the way of one of the aliens and picked up one of the crystals. She broke it over her knee creating two sharp weapons.

Morty and Nancy went to quickly collect the crystals as the other three were caught in their fight.

"Summer's gonna like me again," Nancy said

An alien pounced on Mason but he held it back by gripping one the heads jaws in his hands. Myra used her new weapons to keep the monster at bay.

"Myra I really need to talk to you!" Mason said

"Really?! Now is not the time!" Myra said dodging a swipe at her face.

"I'm sorry!" Mason said punching the second head of the monster as it tried to bite him.

"Wha-?" Myra questioned

"I never took your feelings-woah-in consideration. I shouldn't have just automatically assumed you were okay with being Queen. I was just focused on what I wanted that I never even thought about how you felt," Mason said

"Oh," Myra said stabbing at the monster. The monster swiped on of its large paws at Myra's legs and its claws dragged across her skin making the girl cry out, "Dammit! Oh, you're gonna get it now!"

"I know these feelings are new to you Myra and I want you to know that I'll help you work through them because-," Mason grabbed both necks of the monster under his arms and snapped them simultaneously, "-I love you."

Myra's eyes widened but softened, "Mason…." She said as she stabbed the monster's two heads.

Mason walked over to Myra, "Myra you are the first and I want you to be the last, but only if that's what you want."

Myra looked at the ground then back at Mason she grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. When they pulled away Mason's eyes were wide as Myra looked everywhere but him, "I guess we could try to work this out, but I don't want any of this Queen talk for a while," Myra said

"Whatever you want….my Queen" Mason said jokingly.

"Idiot," Myra said smirking.

Mason ripped the bottom of his shirt and wrapped around Myra's leg wound before picking the girl up bridal style and holding her in his arms.

"Awwwww," Nancy said looking at the couple.

"Ragghh!"

The four teens turned around to see the last alien beast being thrown over a rock and Lincoler coming out with a large wound on his side. He struggled to walk forward but fell down as the group ran up to him.

"Lincoler, come on! Let's get out of here!" Morty said

"Mein journey is over, Morty. I have something important to tell you," Lincoler said

* * *

Nancy, Morty, and Mason, who was carrying Myra ran into the house making their way to the living room.

"Rick, I got them! I got the crystals!" Morty said trying to catch is his breath.

"All right! You did it, Morty," Rick said taking the bag of crystal's from Morty.

"Rick, wait! There's something you need to know. I couldn't have done it without Lincoler. He said that he was really sorry and that he loves you like a father. He only wanted you to accept him, and he hopes that his final act would redeem him in your eyes. He sacrificed himself to save all of us, Rick. He died," Morty said as he and Nancy started to cry.

"Well, at least he didn't die in vain. He got these crystals," Rick said bringing out a credit card. He chopped up the crystal's and then snorted them making Myra's eyes widen and her jaw slack, "And these babies just saved this lame-ass party! Wubba, lubba, dub, dub! Play something. Somebody, play something."

"Wait a minute. What?" Morty said as a robot stereo put in a mix tape.

Rik got into the middle of the living room as music started up, "Put your right foot forward and your left foot back then slide around like on a nordictrack,"Rick started dancing and singing as more people joined in with the dance, " move to the left step to the right wiggle your elbows, and look up into the light it's the, it's the it's the Rick dance it's the, it's the it's the Rick dance Slow mobius, hit me with the clock beam! It's the, it's the it's the Rick dance That's the Rick dance! All right! Whoa, man!"

"What the hell was that?! I thought those crystals were supposed to help us get home or something!" Morty yelled

What? No, no, no. I can get us home whenever I want to. But, listen, speaking of those crystals, can I get the rest of them? I'm starting to come down, Morty. Crystal kalaxian is a really strong, but fleeting high," Rick said

Myra jumped out of Mason's arms and marched up to Rick or rather limped, "You. You. You asshole! We could've gone home and you didn't say shit!"

Mort grabbed the rest of the crystals and threw hem out the door and they were quickly grabbed by a testicle monster, "That's what I think of your crystals, Rick!"

"Oh, Morty, you idiot! Does anybody else have any more k-lax? B-bird person? Uh, Squanchy?" Rick said

"Don't squanch at me," Squanchy said

"All right, everybody, party is officially over! Rick, take us home now," Morty said

"All right, all right, fine, Morty, you party pooper buzzkill! Boo, boo!" Rick said as the party started to boo too.

"Morty sucks! Boo!"

"You suck, whatever your name is."

"Boo! Morty, you're the worst, Morty."

"All you fucking suck!" Myra said as Mason picked her back up, "Take me to my room." Mason just nodded as he carried Myra away. Myra put up both her hands and flipped everyone off as she was carried away.

* * *

Mason had set Myra on her bed and dressed her wound. Myra looked out her window and saw that they were back home and that people were filing out the house.

"Look like the party was officially over," Myra said

"Yep," Mason said, "Guess that means I should go too."

"Yeah I gotta go help the twin clean up before he has an aneurysm," Myra said

"Just call me when you need me," Mason said opening a portal.

"Yeah, yeah, just get outta here," Myra said winking.

When the portal closed behind Mason Myra made her way downstairs as the last of the guest were leaving.

"Hey, squanchers! The party's squanching on at my place!" Squanchy said as people cheered.

"Cool. I'm coming, too," Summer said trying to leave.

"Uh, no. You're not squanchy enough for a squanchy party," Squanchy said stopping Summer.

"What?" Summer said

"Nancy told us what a bitch you are," Squanchy said

"Guys, seriously. Nancy?" Summer said

"Summer, you're a bad person. All you care about is having popular people like you. That's not what Abradolph Lincoler stood for. Well, I-it was hard to pin down what he stood for, but it's certainly not what he died for," Nancy said before walking out the door.

Nancy was the last to leave as Morty angrily slammed the door behind her.

Morty, Myra, and Summer made their way to the living which was wrecked. All of them looking pretty angry. Rick was laying face down on the couch looking just as wrecked as the living room.

"Next time I party, I'm just gonna focus on getting totally wrecked. You're so wise," Summer said turning to Rick.

Rick just mumbled incoherently into the couch.

Morty walked around the room with a garbage bag angrily picking up trash. Myra followed suit with a vacuum cleaner.

"May I assist you with that?" Bird Person asked picking up trash.

"Uh, sure, yeah. Thanks," Morty said

"Bird Person you're still here," Myra said

Bird Person nodded his head to Myra.

"Morty, Myra do you know what 'wubba lubba dub dub' means?" Bird Person asked

"Uh, that's just Rick's stupid nonsense catchphrase," Morty said

"I always thought that it was just Rick's way of expressing how he was slowly slipping into madness from all the year's alien drugs and alcohol," Myra said

"It's neither of those, not at all. In my people's tongue, it means, 'I am in great pain. Please help me.'" Bird Person said

"Wait what?" Myra said stopping her cleaning.

"Well, I got news for you. He's saying it ironically," Morty said

"No, you two. Your grandfather is, indeed, in very deep pain," Bird Person said

Myra' eyes widened as she looked back and forth between Rick and Bird Person .

"That is why he must numb himself," Bird Person said

"Come on, um…" Morty said

"Bird Person," Myra and Bird Person said.

"Come on, Bird Person. Rick's not that complicated. He's just a huge asshole," Morty said

"A true statement," Myra said as she went back to cleaning.

Then why do you care so much if you are no longer allowed to continue on your adventures together? It appears fate has presented you with an opportunity to free yourself and your sister of Rick forever," Bird Person said

"You know what? You're right. I shouldn't even care. This is probably the best thing that could have happened to me. I'm sick of having adventures with Rick," Morty said throwing down the trash bag.

"Things ould be a lot easier if we weren't running around the multiverse with Rick," Myra said

In the background Summer angrily sulked around the house picking up cups.

"My people have another saying-'gubba nub nub doo rah kah'. It means, whatever lets you sleep at night'," Bird Person said

A ringtone went off and Summer pulled out her phone, "Guy's, mom and dad are, like, right around the corner."

"This is your moment, Morty, Myra, Choose wisely. Tammy!' Bird Person said as Tammy came into the room and jumped on his back, "Caw!" Bird Person said as he flew out of the back door.

Myra, Morty, and Summer, looked out the window to see their parent's car turn the corner and come down the street.

'Wow. We are so screwed," Summer said

"*SIGH* Morty," Myra said getting a cup of water.

Morty nods his head as he and Myra walk over to Rick.

"Rick, wake up," Morty said shaking Rick.

"Huh? What? Wait? What? What? Stop," Rick said

"Rick, you got to do something quick. My parents are home," Morty said

"Uh, all-all right. All right. Hold-hold on," Rick said as Myra handed him the cup of water, "Ahh! So good."

"Oh, my God. They're walking up the driveway," Morty said

"Bring me the thing," Rick said

"What-what thing?" Rick said

"Gonna need a little more description Rick," Myra said

"The thing. The thing. The-the-it's got, like, buttons on it and lights on it. It-it-it beeps," Rick said

"Rick! That describes everything in your garage!" Morty said

"Do you mean this?" Summer said coming into the room holding a device.

"Summer for *burp* for the win," Rick presses a button and a wave passes through the house, "All right, that should do it."

"Whoa! What did you do?" Morty asked

"Uh, s-see for yourself," Rick said

Morty, Myra, and Summer go outside to see the world around them frozen.

"Whoa!" Summer said

"Yeah, e-everything's frozen in time. Yeah, and slow mobius thinks he's all that," Rick said

"For how long?" Morty asked

Myra and Summer walked up to their dad and waved their hands in front of his face.

"I don't know. How long do you guys want? A week? A month?" Rick said

"Can we start cleaning the house and see how we feel?" Summer said

* * *

The four off them got to work and started to clean up the house while having some fun at the same time. They had a paint fight, ran around the city pantsing people, stole some electronics and they even carved pumpkins and put them on Jerry's and Beth's heads. Now the four were on the lawn watching the titanic.

"Worst movie ever," Rick said

"Dumb," Summer said

Myra pointed her thumb down and made a fart nose.

"Ooh, boy, what a waste of time. Get it? You know, 'cause it's frozen," Morty said as everyone laughed.

"This has been so much fun," Summer said

"Yeah, I don't think we've spent this much time together," Myr said

"Hey, Rick. You know, this whole time, I haven't once heard you say that 'wubba lubba dub dub' thing that you usually say," Morty said

"Don't need to. I have *burp* a new catchphrase," Rick said

"Oh, yeah? What-what's that, Rick?" Morty asked

"I love my grandkids," Rick said

"Aww," Morty, Myra, and Summer said hugging Rick.

"Psych! Just kidding," Rick said standing up, "my new catchphrase is, 'I don't give a fuck'." Rick reaches over and turns on a boom box and starts dancing.

"Just shake that ass, bitch, and let me see whatcha got just shake that ass, bitch, and let me see whatcha got "

Morty, Myra, and Summer get up and join Rick in the dancing all smiling.

"Roll credits! Just shake that a-Roll the credits! Go! Just shake that ass That's the end of season one! That's the end, motherfucker! "I don't give a fuck" is my new catchphrase! fuck you! That's season one! Boom! Season one up in your face, motherfucker! Yeah!"


	13. A Rickle in Time

**A Rickle in Time**

A few months have passed since Rick froze the universe, and now it was about time to restart it. Morty was vacuuming Jerry while Myra polished Beth.

Summer came through the front door, "Hurry up you guys, Grampa's about to unfreeze time. You know you really should be cleaning from top to bottom."

"I know how to clean Mom and Dad, Summer," Morty said

"We've been doing it for six months!" Myra said annoyed

"Then you've been doing it wrong for six months. Oh my god is that mildew?" Summer said pointing at Jerry.

"Well it's not like it's my fault either, and if you know how to do it then you do it!" Myra said

"It's not my fault we froze time on a humid day!" Morty said

"You have dropped so many balls. Do you ever get scared Grandpa Rick might make me his new sidekick?" Summer asked

"AHAHAHAHAH!" Myra laughed pointing at Summer. She saw the serious look on Summer's face and then stopped laughing, "Oh you're serious."

"What? What kind of monster are you?" Morty asked

"A competent one," Summer said

"Yeah and that's why you're failing math?" Myra said under her breath.

"Who cares about the *belch* thing you guys are talking about. The whole point of freezing time is to stop giving a fuck. Put a shirt on your dumb dad and let's get this dumb universe rolling. Let's do this thing," Rick said before walking back into the house.

Morty grabs Jerry's shirt and puts it on him but backwards.

"For the love of christ Morty," Myra said not bothering to fix the shirt. Before Myra could walk inside she felt a lurch in her stomach and grabbed it. For a second she felt like she was gonna be sick but then the feeling left. She shrugged her shoulders and walked back inside the house.

The three of them went into the house and Rick closed the front door.

"Alright, listen you three, we froze time for a pretty long time, so when I unfreeze it, the world's time is gonna be fine, but our time's gonna need a little time to, you know, stabilize," Rick said

"Our time is gonna be unstable? What does that even mean?" Morty asked

"It means relax and stop being a pussy, Morty," Rick started to adjust the kids so they stood in specific spots, "I thought you learned that by now. It also means don't touch your parents or we could shatter into countless theoretical shards."

"Wait a minute, what?" Morty exclaimed

"Did you say shatter?!" Myra exclaimed

"And away we go!" Rick said pressing a button.

As soon as Rick presses the button time unfreezes. A loud thump was heard as a man fell from his roof.

"Uh, did we ever put that mattress under Mr. Benson?" Morty asked

"Shhh, Morty!" Rick said

"...A THING OR TWO ABOUT... wait, what? Was the house...? When we pulled up I could have sworn the house was completely trashed," Jerry said

"Negative visualization, Jerry. It explains a lot about where you're at. Hi, sweety," Rick said greeting Jerry and Beth.

"Hi, dad," Beth said

Summer, Myra, and Morty recoil from Beth as she approaches to hug Rick.

"Are you three okay?" Beth asked

"W-We just missed you a lot," Morty said

"Yeah soooo much," Myra said

"Yeah, we missed you so much. Too much to hug you through," Summer said

Rick motions his grandkids behind him, "Yeah it would literally destroy them. Now listen, why do—why do—why—why don't you guys go get a free sundae ice cream," Rick pulls out a rubber band that had a rolled up wad of cash, "go out there and get some ice creams. Here's five hundred dollars cash in unmarked money. I'm just gonna put it on the floor and uh, kick it on over to ya. You guys go nuts."

Jerry picked up the money, "This better not be a bribe. If I find a single thing out of place in this house, my love of ice cream won't save you. I'll get my jacket."

"Sweety, is your shirt on backwards?" Beth questioned

"Oh!" Morty said

"Uh oh," Rick said

"Yeah, I like it this way. I'm not stupid," Jerry said

Morty and Summer let out sighs of relief while Myra just rolls her eyes at the stupidity of Jerry.

"Man that guy is the Red Grin Grumble to pretending he knows what's going on," Rick said

Morty and Summer let out laughs pretending to know what Rick was talking about.

"Oh, you agree, huh? You like that Red Grin Grumble reference? Well, guess what? I made him up. You really are your father's children. Think for yourselves, don't be sheep," Rick said

"Let's make a note I didn't laugh," Myra said

* * *

Myra, Morty, Summer and Rick peeked out of the window to see Mr. Benson being loaded into an ambulance.

"That poor poor man," Myra said shaking her head.

"God, I feel terrible," Summer said

"Yup, it really makes you appreciate how fickle the universe can be," Rick opens the fridge, "One minute you're falling off a roof for six months, the next minute, bam!"

"Uh, just to be clear, it was Summer's job to put the mattress under-" Morty tried to say.

"Uh, what? It was your job, Morty," Summer said poking Morty.

"Nuh uh!" Morty said

"Yeah huh!" Summer said

"God can we agree you were both stupid and neither of you did it," Myra said

"Hey!" Morty said

"Well if you're so smart why didn't you put the mattress under him?!" Summer said

"Because it wasn't my job!" Myra said

"Sorry Summer, I gotta back the M-bombs on this one. I remember the conversation. We told Morty to replace all the bank's money with cookies, Myra to flip all the dogs in the dog park upside down, and your job was to put the mattress under Mr. Benson," Rick said

"Boom! In your face Summer! You really dropped the ball, man," Morty said

"Shut up Morty, you vindictive little turd!" Summer said

"You shut up you big...female asshole!" Morty said

"Wow great comeback Morty," Myra said sarcastically.

"Shut up you-you….female asshole," Morty said

"Learn to use a better insult you whiny little bitch!" Myra said

Morty grits his teeth as a holographic version of him pops out and shoves Myra pushing a holographic version of her.

"Don't shove me!" Myra said shoving Morty into Summer pushing a holographic version of Summer.

"I didn't!" Real Morty said

"You didn't what?" Real Myra said

"What's your problem?" Alternative Summer said

"What's yours?" Real Morty and Myra said

"Shut up!" Alternative Summer said

"You shut up!" Alternative Morty said

"Both of you shut the fuck up!" Alternative Myra said

Suddenly the house started to shake and rumble.

"Whoa whoa wh-what the hell hell hell hell hell?" Rick said

That's when the realities split into two.

"Oh god, oh no, what did you guys just do?" Both Rick's said

"What do you mean?" Summer 1 said

"What could we do?" Summer 2 said

"Wait, what am I saying?" Both Summer's said

"*belch* Were either of you guys uncertain about anything just now?" Both Rick's said

"Oh man...I don't feel good," Both Morty's said

"Am I me? I think so," Morty 1 said

"A-am I talking right now?" Morty 2 said

"Wait, who said that?" Morty's said

"What the hell!-" Myra 1 said

"For fuck's sake!-" Myra 2 said

That's when both Myra's felt the same sick feeling from this morning and they both vomited on the floor.

"Ahh gross!" Summer's said

"Oh man! It's going everywhere!" Morty 1 said

"Oh no, I think I got some on my shoes!" Morty 2 said

"Fuck you guys!" Myra's said falling to her knees.

"Alright all of you, just don't move, don't speak, don't think. I have to check something," Rick said walking out the room.

"What should we do you two?" Summer 1 asked

"I'm gonna help Grandpa," Summer 2 said walking to the garage.

"Let's see if he needs help," Morty 1 said walking to the garage.

"What do you mean you're gonna help him," Morty 2 said following Summer 2.

"You assholes come back here," Myra 1 said

"Don't just leave me. I'm dying here," Myra 2 said

Both Myra's got up. The first one had to hold onto the kitchen counter because she almost slipped on her vomit. They both made their way into the garage.

"What's going on Rick?" Morty's asked

"What's happening Grampa?" Summer's asked

"I hate you all," Myra's said walking into the garage whipping off their faces.

"Shut up! " Rick's turns on a monitor, "Oh crap are you kidding me? Two dots? This never needs to be more than one dot. The three of you made us uncertain!"

"What do you mean?" Morty 1 said

"What? In English?" Morty 2 said

"What? English please?" Summer 1 said

"What are you talking about?" Summer 2 said

"He means two timelines for our one," Myra 1 said

"We made two timelines from our one," Myra 2 said

"Our time is fractured. You three somehow created a feedback loop of uncertainty that's split our reality into two equally possible impossibilities. W-we're exactly like a man capable of sustaining a platonic friendship with an attractive female co-worker. We're entirely hypothetical," Rick's said

"But I thought there were infinite timelines," Morty's said

"We're not on any timeline, dummy. Look," Rick's said

Rick opens the garage door, revealing floating and empty void with floating cats, trees, and islands.

"Oh my god!" Morty's said

"Are those cats?" Summer's said

The Myra's just grabbed their stomachs and ran to garage door and puked into the empty void.

"Jeez, what did she eat? I assume those are Schrodinger's cats. A-actually, I assume they both are and aren't, just like us," Rick's said

"Is the world gone? Where are Mom and Dad?" Summer 1 and Morty 2 said

Myra 1 weakly crawled back into the garage and slumped over the desk. Myra 2 laid out on what was left of the driveway.

"Mom and Dad? Get your head out of your family's ass. The four of us are lost in a timeless oblivion. Your parents get to exist. They're probably living it up in some pointless grounded story about their shit marriage," Rick's said

The Myra's let out a gurgle.

"And for the love of shit! One you get her a towel," Rick's said

* * *

"This is why you don't freeze time, you guys. It's incredibly irresponsible," Rick's said

"And you did it so you could clean the house after a party," Morty's said

"Look, there's no time to hold me accountable, Morty. Like literally no time. Look around. Uncertainty is inherently unsustainable. Eventually, everything either is or isn't. And we've got about four hours to be is," Rick's said

"Or...," Morty 1 said

"Or?" Morty 2 said

"We isn't," Rick's said

"Alright, since this time crystal exists in both possibilities, and since it's impossible that I didn't nail this, I'm probably about to press this button in both possibilities at exactly the same time," Rick's said

"How do you know you're gonna-" Morty 1 and Summer 2 said

"Whatever you're asking, the answer is I'm amazing. And away we go!" Rick's said pressing the button.

The timeliness start to merge.

"Huh, what do you know, it's working," Rick said

Morty, Myra, and Summer all started to cry out in pain as they tried to merge but unfortunately they weren't standing in the same places as their other selves.

"Oh shit," Rick said

The timelines split apart again. Summer's and Morty's are holding their heads, while Myra's were clutching their stomachs.

"What the hell is wrong with you three!? I—I m—I m—I mean you six!?" Rick's said

"That hurt! That was painful..."

"Good, I'm glad it was painful! You do deserve it! I saw you, you're three *belch* all over the damn place. We've been split for twenty minutes and your lives are already scattered to the quantum f***ing wind? What the hell do any of you have to be so uncertain about? Your brand of zit cream? Which chair to sit in while I do everything? Come on, spit it out!" Rick's said

"Well, you don't exactly make it easy, Rick!" Morty's said

"You make fun of me all the time and now Summer's doing it too! Myra yelled at me! " Morty 1 said

"You're always picking on me and now you got someone to kiss your ass! And I don't have Myra to back me up!" Morty 2 said

"Me? What about you? Would you get more excited to see me fail? You and Myra want Grampa all to yourself!" Summer 1 said

"Me? You're just as mean to me because you're jealous, because you and Myra want Grampa all to yourself!" Summer 2 said

"Shut up! You're giving me a migraine. I'm too weak to argue," Myra's said

"Alright, cool it, I see what's happening here. You're all young, you three are unsure about your place in the universe, you wanna be "Grampa's favorite." I can fix this. Morty pick your sister and sit here, Summer, you sit here. Now listen, I know the three of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grampa's concerned, you're both pieces of shit. Yeah, I can prove it mathematically. Actually, let me grab my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming anyway," Rick's said

* * *

The Rick's had an equation on the whiteboard with drawings of Morty, Myra, and Summer, "So in conclusion, you're all equally mercurial, overly sensitive, clingy hysterical bird-brained homunculi. And I honestly can't tell the three of you half the time because I don't go by height or age, I go by amount of pain in my ass, which makes you all identical. Alright, everything resolved? Everybody nice and certain about their position in my world?"

"Yes," Summer's and Morty's said

Both Myra's just give Rick's the bird.

"Alright, perfect. Sit still, *belch* arms down, I'm gonna do this again, this time, be like Grandpa," Rick's said

"You mean drunk?" Morty 2 and Myra 1 said

"And away we go!" Rick 1 said

"What's that? You got something to say?" Rick 2 asked

"No," Morty 2 said

"Whatever," Myra 2 said

"And away we go!" Rick 2 said

Both Rick's press the buttons but at different times so nothing happens.

"Huh, that's weird," The Rick's continue to press the buttons out of sync, "Oh my god"

"What?" Summer's said

"That son of a bitch is gonna kill me!" Rick's said diving to the desk.

"Follicle unfeeling sociopath. Don't you get it? He thinks he can save his own skin by using the crystal to kill me. He probably figures it's easier to eliminate one of the possibilities rather than merge them. I have to admit, it's always in the back of my mind too. The difference is I would never do it! Until now..." Rick 2 said

"Don't you get it? don't you get it? The other Rick isn't trying to merge us anymore. He thinks he can save his own skin by using the crystal to kill me. He probably figures it's easier to eliminate one of the possibilities rather than merge them. I have to admit, it's always in the back of my mind too. The difference is I would never do it! Until now..." Rick 1 said

"Rick what the hell are you doing?" Morty's said

Rick's takes the crystal out of the remote and pulls out a gun.

"He's gone crazier than usual," Myra's said

"I'm saving our lives. After he takes me out he's gonna be coming for you!" Rick's said

Rick's puts the crystal together with the gum.

"Who?" Summer's asked

"Me!" Rick's said

Rick 1 puts the gun up to his head and fires creating a bullet in the second timeline.

"You see that? Get down," Rick 2 said

"Whoa whoa!" Morty's said

"I told you he's a psycho!" Rick 1 said getting up and shooting in the area where the bullet came from.

"He's lost it. The time fracture must have made him crazy!" Rick 2 said

Both Rick's start randomly shooting everywhere around the garage making the Myra's, Morty's and Sumer's duck for cover.

"I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do!" Rick 1 said

Suddenly the timeline shakes and it splits into four.

"Oh god, now there's three of them, we're outnumbered! Get in the cupboards! Wait, don't don't do that, they'll know...wait wait, think about getting in the cupboards but don't really. AAAAH IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT YOU SICK FUCKS? YOU WANNA SEE CHILDREN DIE?" Rick's said shooting at the cupboard.

* * *

All of the Rick's start skulking around the room with paranoid looks of anger in their faces, "Shh shh...I know where you are, you creepy old monster...I know how you think! Oh, is this where you think I'm going? You think I'm standing here? Well, maybe you're right!" Rick's shouted out pointing the gun at his head.

Morty grabs a fire extinguisher and knocks Rick out.

"Holy shit, now what?" Summer's asked

"Well if all of me knocked out all the Rick's, and you peed in all of your pants, and all the Myra's are slumped over in that corner, doesn't that mean that we're all synchronized?" Morty's said

"Right," Summers said

Myra's don't say anything but give a thumbs up to Morty and summer.

"Okay...so from now on, whatever we do we have to be certain," Morty's said picking up the gun.

"Right..." Summer's said

"I think I'm certain we're F'd in the A," Morty's said

"Agreed," Myra's said

* * *

Morty's had dragged out a large dog crate and put the unconscious Rick's in it while the Summer's got the Myra's some water.

"How are you feeling?" Summer's asked

"Like someone is strangling my stomach," Myra's said

That's when the Rick's started to wake up, "Oh god, my head. What did you guys do?"

"We put you in a dog crate because you were acting crazy, and you caused another time fracture," Morty's said

"You tried to kill yourself!" Summer's said

"Only in self-defense, myself tried to kill me first! Guys, I don't expect you to understand this, but time breaking twice means our problem is two times bigger and we've got half as much time to solve it. Well actually, I do expect you to understand that, it's basic math," Rick's said

"Oh I thought we were too stupid to understand anything," Myra's said

"Shut up, c-could someone just let me out of here? If I die in a cage I lose a bet," Rick's said

"Well is there some way you can prove you're not a threat to yourself and others anymore?" Summer's said

"Ah, for god's sake, alright here, give me the time crystal," Rick's said holding out their hand.

"W-what're you doing?" Morty's said handing the crystal to Rick's.

"Calling myself. Here, listen, *belch* it'll probably go to voicemail since, you know, I'm calling myself," Rick's said

Rick's dial the phone and it goes to voicemail.

"Hello, Rick here."

"Don't fall for it, it's a bit," Rick's said

"Just kidding, haha! You just got Ricked. You've reached Rick's voicemail, you know what to do *beep*." The Voicemail said

"Hey Rick, it's Rick. Listen, I'm sorry about earlier. No hard feelings. I know you know I mean it too. Take it easy," The Rick's hang up the phone and look at it, "Whoa. Damn, look at this, I'm blown up. Three new voicemails. Yeah yeah, I heard this one. You get the idea *belch* we're cool now."

"Okay, well we're still not gonna let you out of this crate," Summer's said

"Fine I'll just do it myself," Rick's said

They stand up and knock the top off the dog crate and easily get out.

"If you could get out that whole time why didn't you?" Morty's said

"Because I waited until I was certain it was what I wanted to do, Morty. That's the difference between you and me. I'm certain, and you're a walking burlap sack filled with turds," Rick's said

"You know, geez Rick, y—y—you're really tearing into me right now. You know, words hurt," Morty's said

Suddenly a bubble floats in with a monster inside surprising everyone.

"Oh my god!" Morty 1 said

"It's a monster!" Morty 2 said

"Oh, my god! It's a monster!" Morty 3 said

"It's a monster!" Summer 1 and 4 yelled

"What the hell is that?!" Myra's 3 and 4 yelled

"Ey, ye ey, quit yellin' quit yellin'," The monster said

Summer 1 just screams as it floats around.

"Oh my god..." Summer 4 said

The Monster looks around, "What the fuck? Your time is all ripped up to hell! You broke your time, twice!"

All the Rick's sigh.

"How did this happen?" The Monster asked

"Yeah, but we don't even know, the first time..." Summer 3 and 4 said

"Who's that Brother Newman time elf?" Morty 1 and 4 questioned

"What's with the floating scrotum?" Myra 1 and 2 asked

"Shut the fuck up! Oh, damn, I'm from the 4th dimension. I can hear all o' y'all. Now let's just see what we got here for a second," The monster floats over to the desk and picks up the crystal, "Ay, damn it, were you tryin' to use this to-oh, see, you broke time, and you thought you could just stick it back together with this? How you think you gonna move time while you're standing in it, you dumb ass three-dimensional monkey ass dummies?"

"Oh way to go, Rick," Morty's said

"Yeah Grampa, way to go," Summer's said

"Now who's the dumb one," Myra's said

"Oh, what you're just gonna listen to this guy now? He's got a giant testicle for a head! He came here in a bubble. For all we know he could be the David Berkowitz of Nutsack Land," Rick's said

"Shut up. Here, put these on," The monster said handing everyone collars, "They'll sync your possibilities up so I can bring you back to certain time. Y'all just-just negligent, now ay, ay, ay, the four of you, put your collars on!"

"What are you talking about?" Summer 1, 2, 3 said

"We have them on," Morty 1, 2, 3 said

"Are you blind? It is on," Myra 1, 2, 3 said

"Uh, we did..." Rick 1, 2, 3 said

"We're not wearing collars," Rick 4 said

"Exactly, because you're being obstinate," The Monster said

"*belch* What?" Rick 1, 2, 3 said

"We did!" Morty's 1, 2, 3, said

"They're on right now," Summer 1, 2, 3 said

"Alright, fine. Summer, Morty, Myra put 'em on," Rick 4 said

The 4th timeline puts them on and the collars beep before all the timelines sync up.

"Yes, we're back, problem solved," Rick said

"Yes, we're back to our own time," Summer said

"Yes no more cats, no more cats, oh you did it, you fixed it," Morty said

"And my nausea is gone away," Myra said

"Yeah, now keep those collars on so you don't break your weak ass time again," The Monster said

"How long exactly do we have to wear these things? They're really embarrassing," Rick said

"Well since you're goin' to time prison, I'd say you can keep em on forever," The Monster said pulling out what looked like a limp slug and pointed at the four.

"Time prison?" Summer asked scared.

Everyone backs up and holds their arms up.

"Yeah, well I don't know where you expect me to think you got that crystal over there, but the only way you dumb ass, assin' ass asses could ever have one, is if it was stolen," The Monster said

"You stole a time freezing crystal from testical monsters?" Summer asked

"I would have been happy to pay for it, Summer, but they don't exactly sell them at Costco. Besides, there's a larger lesson to be learned here. Get him!" Rick said

The Monster cock's his, 'gun', "Ututututut! You'd better keep back! Man this will turn your ass into a third-trimester fetus from 30 yards."

* * *

The Monster was now on the phone, "Uh-huh, no motha- no, Earth, dude, I'm talking 'bout, yeah, with the dinosaurs. No, if you've get to the dolphin people you've gone too far. Alright man, I'll talk to you later, okay," He hangs up, "You know what they do with 3rd-dimensional life forms in time prison? Same thing they do in every other prison, only forever."

"Why are you doing this?" Morty questioned

"You think I wanna be an omniscient immortal being transcending time and space my whole life? I got ambitions man, bringin' you guys in is my ticket up," The Monster said

"What if I told you there's a huge ticket up right behind you?" Rick said pointing behind the monster.

"You really think I'm that stupid?" The Monster asked

Myra goes to open her mouth but Rick quickly covers her mouth with his hand.

"Alright, hear me out on this. You're immortal, right, which means your life is infinite. Well, in that case, there's 100% chance that you'll eventually do everything, including turning around to look behind you," Rick said

"I cannot argue that," The Monster said turning around.

Rick hits the monster in the back of the head with a wrench causing it to let out a girly scream. He grabs the gun and points it at the monster.

"Ah, god, gross and weird!" Rick said before dropping it.

The gun wiggles around and then it crawls into the street.

"Chris!" The Monster yelled

The gun was then run over by a car.

"You killed my gun!" The Monster yelled

"Summer, Morty, Myra, take off your collars!" Rick said

Summer, Morty, and Myra quickly take off their collars.

"What? What the hell are you doing?" The Monster yelled

"Good question. I suppose the answer is: I'm not certain!" Rick yelled pulling off his collar.

"Oh, no, what are you doin'?" The Monster said

The timeline splits into two.

"I have no idea!" Rick 1 said

"I'm not sure," Rick 2 said

Then the timeline splits into 4.

"Maybe I will, maybe I won't," The Rick's said

Rick 1 kicks the Monster which knocks over all 4 in each timeline. Each Rick starts beating up the Monster causing the timelines to shake even more.

The timeline splits into 8.

"I'm really uncertain about everything, even kicking your ass!" Rick's said

"Lis- ay, to, AH. But these arms are vestigial. Now you poked me where an eye would have been about six million years ago," The Monster said as Rick continued to beat him up.

The timelines continue to split up become more unstable with each passing moment.

"Come on, let's help Grandpa," Summer's said

"Yeah. I'm like a hundred percent not sure about anything," Morty's said

"I barely know what the fuck is going on and that makes me unsure of everything!" Myra said

The timeline splits until there's 32.

"Beat his ass!" Summer's said

"Kick his ass, Rick!" Myra's and Morty's said

 **Zoom into one timeline.**

Rick punches the monster and it splats all over the desk.

"Ow, I'm defeated..." The Monster said

"Now that's what I call busting a nut," Myra said

"What's happening?" Summer asked

"Time is falling apart, we've got to get back to certainty, quick! Give me your collars!" Rick said taking the collars.

"Oh man, don't you have to fix like, thirty of them?" Morty asked

"Morty, I have to fix three of them, and then there's thirty-one other versions of me that have to also fix three for a total of 96. I'm not an idiot. I know how to be decisive, now hand me that (Phillips/Flathead) screwdriver. Actually, make it a (Phillips/Flathead)," Rick's said

Zoom out and the timelines split into 64.

"Oh, sh*t," Rick's said

* * *

One of the many many many timelines.

"Okay, collars are done but them on we're out of time. It's ironic, huh?" Rick said

All of them put their collars on but only Summer disappears.

 _ **Timeline 30**_

"Rick!" Morty 30 said

"What's goin' on?" Rick 30 said

"It's not working!" Myra 30 said

"The collar, oh, the latch is broken! It won't latch closed around my neck!" Morty 30 said

Myra 30 drops her collar and tries to latch Morty's on correctly, "Fuck it is broken!"

 _ **Timeline 28**_

"What's wrong, how come our collars aren't green?" Morty 28 said

"Obviously because someone doesn't know how to put his collar on and one of me is stuck trying to help him," Rick 28 said

"Don't blame this on Morty, you're the one that couldn't fix a latch!" Myra 28 said pointing at Rick 28.

 _ **Timeline 30**_

"What are you talking about, it's not broken, I fixed it, just put it on!" Rick 30 said

"It won't close, it's broken!" Morty 30 said

"Fine, bring it here," Rick 30 said

Morty 30 steps forward but the ground beneath him breaks and he grabs onto a part of the floor to keep him from falling into the abyss. He holds on for a second but falls in.

"Morty!" Myra and Rick 30 yelled

 _ **Timeline 15**_

"Oh, really? Well I'm sorry, I'm not the one that's so fucking uncertain about everything!" All Rick's but 30 said

"You know what I'm certain of, Rick? I've really made up my mind about this, I never wanna see you again!" All Mory's but 30 said

"You're never gonna see anything again you little dummy! You killed us!" Rick 30 yelled

"Will you both shut the fuck up! I don't wanna see either of you again! I'm freaking the fuck out! This never happens to me!" All Myra's but 30 yelled freaking out.

 _ **Timeline 30**_

"God, damn it!" Rick said

He turns to Myra 30 and latches her collar on her making her go back to the correct timeline before jumping into the hole after Morty.

 _ **Correct Timeline**_

"Myra!" Summer said seeing her sister appear, "Where's Rick and Morty!"

That's when Morty appears.

"Morty you're okay!" Myra said, "But what about Rick?"

That's when Rick appears too.

"Yes I did it! There is no God. In your face. One dot, motherfuckers!" Rick said

"Oh, that was a close call. Oh yeah, do it, Rick, do it right," Morty said

"You know what I'm talking about, oh yeah. I'm gonna do the cabbage patch, Morty. Check me out I'm doing the cabbage patch dance. It's a classic dance, remember, like this. Oh **** look at that," Rick said dancing

"Hey wait a second, how come you guys took longer to get here?" Summer asked

"I don't know. I think like one sixty-fourth of my collars didn't work. It's hard to keep straight now that I have sixty-three other memories of everything," Morty said

Myra shrugs her shoulder, "I can't piece it together either. I'm still directed by the taste of vomit in my mouth."

"Yeah," Rick said

"But I feel like one of the sixty-four Ricks like, sacrificed himself for me, maybe, I think," Morty said

"Shut up Morty. The last time you felt something, we all almost died. You little s—piece of shit," Rick said

"Hey guys, we're home," Beth said as she and Jerry walked in the garage.

The three kids run over to their parents hugging them.

"Um, hold the phone, where did you guys get those necklaces from? Uh, Lady Gaga, table for four, am I right?" Jerry said

Beth starts to laugh as the kids pull away from the hugs. Summer and Myra look annoyed as Morty just looks confused.

"Are you guys Power Rangers? But only on one small part of your necks? Hey do, those things need batteries? Were they included? Clean up in the fruit aisle! Not in a homophobic way, though, they're just fruity necklaces is all I was saying," Jerry said

"I'm gonna pee my pants," Beth said still laughing.

"Doesn't feel so good does it?" Morty said

"No, it doesn't. It hurts," Rick said

Myra's annoyance turns to anger as she walks over to Jerry.

"I'm gonna pee-hee-hee," Beth said

"Somebody call the planet of Tron, we have three Tron people over here. But seriously are these Halloween costumes? Are you going as motorcycles? With green headlights instead of normal ones? Are you dogs? Robot dogs? Gosh, you guys are lame. Are those chokers from the 90's? What is this a 90's nostalgia thing? Are you guys in that movie "The Craft" with Fairuza Balk? GAH-!"

"Oh my god!" Beth said

Myra pulls her fist back from her father's stomach and walks out of the garage leaving everyone stunned, well almost everyone. Rick had a small smile on his face as he took a sip out of his flask.


	14. Mortynight Run

**Mortynight Run**

"Myra….Myra….get…."

Myra shifted in her bed and pulled the covers over her head.

"Myra get the fuck up!"

Myra yelped as the covers were yanked off of her and the cold air touched her skin. She looked up to see Rick standing over her.

"What the hell Rick!" Myra said rubbing her eyes, "It's too early for this crap."

"It's actually 1 in the afternoon," Rick said pulling out his flask.

"What-?" Myra sat up and looked over at the clock to see it read 1:13, "Ugh why am I so tired."

"Doesn't matter. Get up, where teaching Morty to drive the ship today," Rick said

He looks back down at Myra to see her sleeping while sitting up. He rolls his eyes and picks Myra putting her under his arm and walking out the room

Rick carried the sleeping Myra, who by the way was still in her pajamas.

* * *

Snores came from the back of the space cruiser as Myra's head rested against the window as she slept. Morty was driving while Rick sat in the passenger seat. Jerry was sitting next to Myra as he looked out the window in amazement.

"Learning to fly this thing, Morty, it's gonna be really liberating. Y-Y-You're gonna be free to go on all kinds of errands for me, when I can't send Myra," Rick said

"Cool," Morty said

Rick points out the window, "See that planet right there? Don't fly too close to that planet. Someone'll come out and try to wash your windshield," Rick's phone starts to ring waking up Myra in the back. She squints her eyes at her father who was still gazing around the cruiser amazed.

"Hold on, Rick said picking up the phone, "Yup. Yeah, I have it. Where do you wanna meet? Alright, cool," Rick hung up the phone, "Alright Morty, lesson's over. We got some business to attend to a few light minutes south of here."

"Oh, you still use 'south' in space?" Jerry asked

"WHOA!" Rick said startled, "Jesus, Jerry, what the hell are you doing here?!"

"What are you talking about? We agreed a boy's father should be present when he's learning to drive," Jerry said

"I guess I remember that. Wow. And you've just been back there this whole time with Myra? Amazing. Well, we don't have time to take him to Earth, Morty. Head for 3124-917," Rick said

"Haha, Cool! Looks like I'm comin' along for an adventure!" Jerry said

"Yep," Rick said

Morty flew to the quadrants to but all they saw was empty space.

"This is where we're going?" Morty asked

"Nope," Rick said

That's when an asteroid-like mass materializes before them.

"This is," Rick said

Morty flew the cruiser down to the asteroid heading to the building that Rick pointed out.

"You can park in a handicapped spot, Morty. Anything with less than eight limbs is considered disabled here," Rick said

Once Morty finally parks everyone got out of the cruiser, well almost everyone. Myra struggled to get out of the cruiser, her body weighing her down heavily.

"Why am I so fucking tired?" Myra thought

"Morty," Myra said getting her twins attention, "Carry me."

Morty looked at his sister awkwardly not knowing if he could actually support the weight of Myra.

* * *

Jerry, Rick, and Morty who had Myra on his back walked into the building's lobby. As Rick and Morty walked to the desk and an alien woman approaches Jerry and pinches his cheek.

"Well look at this fella. Aren't you handsome?" The Alien asked

"Thank you! I'm Jerry," Jerry said

"Oh, I know you are. Did you come here in a spaceship?" The alien asked in a baby voice. She starts to guide Jerry to a set of doors.

"I'm traveling with my son, daughter, and father-in-law. Uh, wait, are they coming?" Jerry questioned when he saw he was being led away.

"Oh, they'll be back soon," The alien said

"What?" Jerry questioned as he was led through the doors.

Morty picks up a pamphlet as he and the sleepy Myra looked at it, "Jerryboree? You created a daycare for our dad?"

"You kidding? I wish I had this idea. Well…I did have this idea, but I wish I was the version of me that owned it. That guy's rich," Rick said picking up a clipboard.

"Don't forget to check the reason for your drop-off," The alien receptionist said.

Rick checks off Stowaway.

"*YAWN* Don't forget to check off that one too," Myra said pointing at the clipboard.

Rick then also checks off Annoying me, "Trust me you two, I've heard stories from other Ricks. Jerrys don't tend to last five minutes off of Earth. This is a totally unregistered cross-temporal asteroid. Here they can romp and play with other Jerrys. It couldn't be safer."

As they walk out, Rick hands Morty a ticket.

"Hey Morty, hang onto this. That number's your dad. If you lose it, we're not gonna be able to get him back," Rick said

Morty looks down at the ticket with an anxious expression. He turns his head slightly to give the ticket to Myra but only sees her now asleep, her head on his shoulder with some slight drool coming out of her mouth.

* * *

While Myra was once again in the back of the cruiser sleeping. Rick had Morty drive to a parking garage. Morty was able to park but not without hitting a the cruisers next to him.

"Okay, wait here," Rick said

"I wanna come with," Morty said

"Don't come with. It's boring, it's *burp* business stuff," Rick said

"What kinda business do you do in a garage? You know, this seems a little shady," Morty said

"Right, like nothing shady ever happened in a fully furnished office? You ever hear about Wall Street Morty? Y-You know what those guys do in th-in their fancy board rooms? They take their balls, and they dip 'em in cocaine, and they wipe 'em all over each other. You know, Grandpa goes around, and he does his business in public because Grandpa isn't shady," Rick said

An alien taps on Rick's window and Myra wakes up.

"What the hell is going on?" Myra questioned eyes half lidded.

"Ah, crap," Rick rolls down the window, "Hey, what's up?"

"Hey, Rick! Haha! Here you go, three thousand Flurbos! D'you have the weapon?" The alien asked

"Can…Can we please…? These are my grandkids, the twins Morty and Myra," Rick said

"Well hi, Morty! Myra! I'm Krombopulos Michael! I'm an assassin. I buy guns from your grandpa," Krombopulos Michael said

"Wha?" Myra said not understanding what was really happening. She's leaning over the middle console but slowly fading back into sleep.

"Ugh," Rick throws Krombopulos Michael a case. "Here, now go away."

Krombopulos Michael opens the case pulling out a gun, "Ooh, yeah, this looks deadly. So this shoots antimatter? My target can't be killed with regular matter. Nice to meet you, Twins! Listen, if you ever need anybody murdered," He hands Morty a card and puts a card on the sleepy Myra's head, "please give me a call. I'm very discrete."

"Y-Y-Y-You're gonna give them your card?!" Rick said

"I have no code of ethics, I will kill anyone, anywhere! Children, animals, old people, doesn't matter. I just love killin'!" Krombopulos Michael said

The alien gives one last wave before leaving.

"What is this?" Myra asked taking the card off her head.

"You sell weapons to killers for money?" Morty asked

"Weapons for money?" Myra said confused

"Ugh…You've got what the intergalactic call a very planetary mindset, Morty. It's more complicated out here! These are Flurbos. Do you understand what three humans can accomplish with three thousand of these?" Rick said

"Uh, what?" Morty asked

"An entire afternoon at Blips and Chiiiitz!" Rick said

Rick, Morty, and Myra arrived at Blips and Chitz. Myra was up walking on her own but her eyes were drooping and she kept yawning.

"Aw, this place is the best. It's got beer, games, prizes, and you can never tell what time it is," Rick said

"You sold a gun to a murderer so you could play video games?" Morty asked

"Yeah, sure, if you spend all day shuffling words around you can make anything sound bad, Morty," Rick puts a helmet on Morty's head, "Here, check this out."

Morty's eyes roll back into his head as Rick flips a switch.

"What'd you do to Morty?" Myra asked

"He's playing Roy," Rick said

"Roy?" Myra asked

Myra turns to a video screen to see Morty was playing a game where he lived another life. Halfway through watching the game, Myra started to get bored.

"Man, this is boring. Is he seriously working at a carpet store," Myra said sitting down.

"What a waste," Rick said

"What the hell he's stamp collecting now," Myra said

After a few more boring years Roy was back at the carpet store. On the screen reaches up for some carpet on a ladder and falls down hitting the ground dying.

Morty regains consciousness and removes the helmet looking frightened and confused.

"Whoa! What the hell?! Wha-Where am I?! What the hell?!" Morty said looking around.

Rick pulls out a paper, "Fifty-five years. Not bad, Morty. You kinda wasted your thirties though with that whole birdwatching phase."

"And going back to that damn carpet store," Myra said yawning.

"W…Where's my wife?" Morty said looking around.

"Morty. You were just playing a game. It's called Roy. Snap out of it, come on," Rick said handing Morty some tickets.

"I'm Morty…That's Myra….and..You're Rick… Hey, you sold a gun to a guy that kills people!" Morty said

"Lookit this. You beat cancer and then you went back to work at the carpet store? Boo," Rick said

"I have to say Morty I'm super surprised didn't fall asleep watching you play," Myra said

Rick grabs the helmet and sits in the seat to play Roy.

"Don't dodge the issue, Rick! Myra aren't you concerned at all, selling a gun to a hitman is the same as pulling the trigger!" Morty examined

"It's also the same as doing nothing. If Krombopulos Michael wants someone dead, there's not a lot anybody can do to stop him. That's why he does it for a living? Now if you'll excuse me, it's time to thrash your Roy score," Rick said putting the helmet on.

"You could stop this killing from happening, Rick! You know, y-you did a bad thing selling that gun, but you could undo it if you wanted!" Morty said

"Uh-huh, yeah, that's the difference between you and me, Morty. I never go back to the carpet store," Rick said starting the game.

* * *

An Alien passing by, "Holy shit! This guy's taking Roy off the grid! This guy doesn't have a social security number for Roy!"

Myra sat down watching Rick play, drifting in and out of sleep. After about 10 minutes Myra finally notices something missing.

"Morty?...Morty? Aw fuck," Myra said

Myra walks over to Rick who had just finished playing Roy, he was about to restart a new game when Myra grabbed the helmet.

"Hey! W*burp*What the hell!" Rick said

"Morty's gone missing," Myra said

"Fuck seriously," Rick said

Myra nods her head.

"Son of a-let's go find him," Rick said pulling out his portal gun.

* * *

Rick and Myra step out a portal seeing a surprised Morty. Krombopulos Michael was crushed under the space cruiser

"What are you doing Morty?! This is a Galactic Federation outpost! Look, I don't have time to tell you my entire backstory, but Grandpa and government don't get along!" Rick said

"You saved my life!"

Rick, Myra, and Morty both turn to face the gaseous looking alien.

"What?" Rick said

"Huh?! Are you Krombopulos Michael's target? W-Wwwwhat's your name?" Morty asked

"My kind has no use for names. I communicate through what you call "Jessica's feet." No, telepathy."

"Way to keep your fetishes on lock down Morty," Myra said sarcastically

"Oh, good job, Morty. Y-Y-Y-You killed my best customer but you saved a mind-reading fart!" Rick said

"I like this name, 'Fart.' Morty, would you kindly release me by pulling that lever to the left of my cell? I am in great pain," Fart said

"Morty, don't do it," Rick said

Morty ignores Rick and walks over to the level pulling it down making an alarm sound.

"Morty, you idiot!" Rick and Myra said

"Oh crap, let's get you outta here!" Morty said

"We can't get him outta here. He's gaseous. He's not gonna make it through a portal, Morty," Rick said

"Well, then I guess we're all getting in the car! Right, uh…" Morty said

"Fart," Fart said

"No! Jus-j-j-just get in the car!" Morty said

Fart floats into the car and Morty sits in the driver's seat, while Myra too tired to care gets in the back lying down.

"Wake me up when we're about to die," Myra said before closing her eyes.

"Morty, come on, I-I wanna go back to Blips and Chitz. I don't wanna deal with this!" Rick said

"Y-You've been clear on the fact that you don't wanna help, so just go away!" Morty said

"More are coming," Fart said

"Screw this. I'm out," Rick said

Rick makes a portal and leaves through it. Morty tries to start the cruiser but is stalls as more guards run in.

"Oooh…! Come on, come on!" Morty said

"Get out of the vehicle made of garbage or we will open fire!" A Gromflomite.

"Oh no no no! Myra we're gonna die now!" Morty yelled

"Open fire!"

A portal suddenly appears directly above the guards and water pours out of it, flooding the room. A second portal appears on the floor, and the water and Gromflomites are sucked into it. A third portal then appears and Rick walks through it, walking up to the car.

"Stupid-ass fart-saving carpet-store motherfucker!" Rick shoves Morty out of the driver's seat, "Move!"

Fart moves to the backseat floating above the sleeping Myra, as Morty takes the passenger seat.

"Wait, did you fuck with my seat settings?" Rick said

Morty buckles up as Rick adjust his seat settings.

"More are coming," Fart said

More Gromflomites storm into the room while Rick continues adjusting the seat.

"Rick!" Morty yelled

"Yeah, yeah," Rick starts the cruise, he rams into the Gromflomites before flying away.

* * *

Rick had flown the group to a repair shop when the cruiser started making weird noises.

"Your geldon convertor is pretty dinged up."

"That's 'cause my grandson drives like a male Obavradian. Yeah, I said it. Some stereotypes are based in fact," Rick said

"Actually, it's because of years of neglect. You really need to respect your gears, Rick. To you, they're just wheels with teeth, but in my culture, wars have been fought, entire-"

"So I've heard. Just fix it," Rick walks over to Morty and Myra, "I don't think the Gromflomites can track us now, but it looks like we're gonna be here for awhile. Or, ya know, if you still have that gun K. Michael dropped, we can finish the job and go home."

"You do understand I'm telepathic, right?" Fart said

"I'm being polite," Rick said

"Rick, we're taking him back where he belongs! Isn't that right Myra?" Morty said

Myra lets out an annoyed sigh and rubs her head, "Do you even know where he's from?"

"Yeah, Are you going on a quest to find he who smelt it?" Rick said

"I came here accidentally through a wormhole located in what you call "get out of my head, Fart, I know you're in here, la la la la-" No, in what you call the Promethean Nebula," Fart said

"Oh great, just a hop, skip, and an 800 lightyear jump!" Rick said

"You know, you can leave anytime you want, Rick," Morty said

Rick walks away muttering under his breath, "Whatever you wanna do you little punk-ass little bitch…"

"Thank you, Morty. You are not like other carbon-based life forms. You put the value of all life above your own. Although I do believe the other you feels the same," Fart said turning to Myra.

"Okay one, I have a name. Two, I think there's a gray area in that subject," Myra said

"I think all life is important and it's how things could be. It's how they could be," Morty said

"I could not agree more," Fart said

Myra raises an eyebrow when Fart envelops himself in Morty and music starts to play.

 _The world can be one together._

 _Cosmos without hatred._

 _Stars like diamonds in your eyes._

 _The ground can be space~space, space, space, space_

 _With feet marching toward a peaceful sky._

Myra started covering her ears getting annoyed while Rick was just getting pissed off.

 _All the moonmen want things their way._

 _But we make sure they see the sun._

"Rick make it stop," Myra said

Rick picks up and golf club and walks over.

 _Goodbye, moonmen._

 _You say goodbye, moonmen._

 _Goodby-_

"Shut the fuck up about moonmen! This isn't a musical number. This is a fucking operation, we gotta be cool and fucking lay low!" Rick said

Rick walks away leaving Myra and Morty.

"Myra I felicitate you on the new life," Fart said

Morty just scratches his head having no idea what Fart said to Myra. While Myra gives Fart a strange look but before she could fully process his statement a news report on the TV catches her attention.

"Uh...Rick," Myra said pointing at the TV.

"No gear turnings as of yet in the curious case of these unidentified humanoid fugitives, reportedly at large somewhere within the Gear System."

"Son of a…Why were the Gromflomites holding you, prisoner? What the fuck is so valuable about you?" Rick yelled at Fart.

"I am no more valuable than life itself. However, I am able to alter the composition of atoms, like this," Fart gives off a few electrical pulses and then a lump of gold falls out of him, "That was oxygen. I added seventy-one protons to it."

Rick picks up the gold, "Ah, terrific. The fart that pooped gold. No wonder every cop in the system is lookin' for us!" Rick puts the gold in his jacket, "Any species that gets a hold of this thing is gonna use it to take over the galaxy. Do you know how inconvenient that's gonna be to my work?"

That's when the sounds of sirens are heard outside. Rick rushes to the window and looks outside seeing police in flying vehicles have surrounded the place.

"Somebody dropped the dime on us. Gearhead…" Rick said

Gearhead comes out pointing a gun at Rick, "I'm sorry, Rick. The reward on your head is too high. And like you always say, you gotta look out for Number One."

"Number One is me, asshole! You're supposed to be my friend!" Rick yelled

"Friend? Do you even know my real name? It's Revolio Clockberg Junior. I belong to an entire species of gear people. Calling me 'Gearhead' is like calling a Chinese person Asia-face," Gearhead said

Myra runs up behind Gearhead and kicks him in the back knocking him into Rick. As Gearhead falls forward Rick kicks him in the crotch and a slot opens up. Rick removes Gearheads gear-testicles and pulls two gears out of his mouth, and shoves the gear-testicles in their place.

"Two things I wanna make clear to everybody in this room. Never betray me, and it's time to go," Rick said

Rick, Morty, Myra, and Fart get in the car and fly out just as two cops burst in.

Quickly the cruiser is being chased by other cop cars, who quickly start shooting at them.

"Myra," Rick said

"On it," Myra said with a yawn. Myra gets out of the seat and lifts it up revealing a plethora of guns. Myra pulls out a large gun that looks more like a bazooka. She rolls down the window and puts the gun over her shoulder and aims a the cop cars chasing them. The gun charges up and Myra is about to fire when-

"Myra no!" Morty yelled ramming into Myra.

Myra ends up dropping the gun out the window.

"Morty you fucking idiot!" Myra said

"You can't kill them!" Morty said

Myra slaps Morty in the back of the head, "I wasn't gonna kill them. That was an EMP gun. It sends out electrical pulses that would have destabilized their vehicles so they couldn't fucking chase us, but now I don't have it the gun anymore."

Morty looks at Myra with an apologetic smile, "Uhmmmm….."

Myra slaps Morty up against the head again, "Yeah think before you act."

Rick veers the cruiser through a city with cops still following. Numerous police cars crash, killing officers and civilians.

"Hey Morty, remember when you said selling a gun was as bad as pulling the trigger? How do you feel about all these people getting killed because of your choices?" Rick said

"I did the right thing, Rick!" Morty said

"Tell that to the cops and citizens who just blew up because you had to knock my gun out of my hand," Myra said

"And why your at it tell that to Gearhead's gearsticles," Rick said

"You did that!" Morty yelled at Rick.

"Wrong! I'd be playin' Roy right now. At a certain point, my hands are tied, Morty," Rick said

The chase continues. A Gromflomite ship flies next to them getting close.

"Myra," Rick said holding out his hand.

Myra pulls out another gun and tosses it to Rick.

"Morty, take the wheel!" Rick said

Rick and Morty swap seats and Rick rolls down the window.

Rick shots outside at the Gromflomite ship but he has a hard time shooting since Morty was driving badly.

"Geez, dammit, Morty! Who taught you to fly this thing?! Haha, I'm kidding, I know that's on me," Rick said

"Um, Rick!" Morty said

An enormous ship lowers down before them and their car is quickly surrounded.

"Shit. Well, I guess this is it," Rick said

"Morty, crack the window," Fart said

Morty opens the window and Fart flies out of the cracks, entering a gear police car.

"What is he doing?" Myra questioned

Myra got her question answered when the police cruiser Fart went into dives down and crashes into another cruiser, setting off a chain of destruction. Cars and buildings were blowing up and people were fleeing in terror. Myra, Morty's and Rick's eyes are wide and their jaws are asked as they see the city of Gearworld being destroyed. People were running around screaming at the destruction.

Fart flies back into the window, "Alright, let's proceed."

"Damn. Can't blame that on the dog.…Talk about silent but deadly. I-I've seen some nerve gas but ga-th-this gas got some nerve! Haha, you know what I'm sayin?" Rick said

"Are you done?" Morty asked

"I'll let you know, Morty. Gone with the wind, am I right? If you don't like that one, an alt on that one could be, like…if I said Gasablanca!…Alright, I'm done. Let's get to the Promethean Nebula, so my grandson can finish savin' a life!" Rick said

Myra just sat there staring at Fart.

"I see that you are confused," Fart said to Myra.

"Oh no, the gaseous cloud that talked about life being precious just killed hundreds of people, what's there to be confused about," Myra said

Myra leans over the front seat and whispers to Morty, "I don't trust this guy."

"I can hear you," Fart said

"Yeah, I was being polite," Myra said copying her grandfather's previous words.

* * *

Rick had retaken the ship's controls and the cruiser is flown to distance planet covered in jungle. Rick's lands the ship and they all unbuckle their seatbelts.

"The wormhole is seventy of what you call 'meters' what you call 'north' of what you call 'here'," Fart said

"Fine. Morty, take your fart to his hole and say your goodbyes. I'm gonna find some fuel and take a biiiig fat Morty," Morty gets out of the car, "That's my new word for 'shit' because of today's events," Rick said

Morty and Fart leave heading north.

"Come on Myra let's go find something of worth. Like hell I didn't fly half across the galaxy and not get nothing out of it," Rick said

* * *

After a while, Rick had located some glowing rocks and wanted to load them into the cruiser. Myra asked what they were but Rick told her she didn't need to know about, making her believe they were probably illegal for him to have or he was going to do something illegal with them.

As Myra was loading rocks into the trunk the words that Fart said to her before the police chase rang through her head and she stopped moving.

"T-There's no fucking way," Myra said

"No fucking way what?" Rick asked

Before Myra could answer Morty reappears.

"So did you guys make out a little bit? Is he gonna send you a postcard? Man, that guy hit the lottery when he crossed paths with you," Rick said

* * *

The cruise ship flies through space but Morty was silent the whole time.

"Morty, I know I picked on your core beliefs and decision making a lot today, but I am glad you insisted on getting' that fart home. You know, at least all the death and destruction wasn't for nothin', you know? You miss your fart friend, huh? Well, I've got a little surprise for you, buddy. While you were gone I found another wormhole with millions of beings just like him on the other side and they're all coming to visit," Rick said

Morty starts panicking, "What?! Rick! No, you can't!"

"Too late, Morty. The hole's opening," Rick said

"No, no, Rick! You don't understand!" Morty said panicking even more.

Rick farts and laughs.

"Th-there's a lot more where that came from too," Rick said

Rick, Morty, and Myra were back at the Jerryboree.

They enter the lobby, which is filled with Rick's, Morty's, Myra's and Jerry's.

"Hey," Rick greets another Rick, "Hey bro. How many people was your Morty responsible for killing today?

"None, we chilled at Blips and Chitz all day, ain't that right homie?" Rick #2 said

"Darn right bro! Roy rules!" Morty #2 said high fiving his Rick.

"Hey, where's your Myra?" Myra asked

"Sick," Morty #2 sid

"Hey, there's our Jerry," Rick said

Jerry walks over and hugs Myra and Morty, "Mm, I missed you. Hey, Rick."

"Glad you're safe Jerry. What do you say we go home?" Rick said

"I'd like that," Jerry said

Another Rick walks up holding a ticket, "Hey, wait, do you have 5126?"

"Uh, I'm not sure. Morty," Rick #1 said

Morty pulls a ticket out of his pocket and hands it to Rick.

"Uh, that's a Blips and Chitz ticket," Rick said

"What?!" Morty said

Myra sighs and shakes her head.

"Way to go, Morty. Eh, whatever," Rick said

The two Ricks exchange Jerry's and both Jerry's look uncertain and nervous as they are switched.

"Uh…W-wait, what?" The Jerry's said

"Alright, come on, Jerry," Rick said

* * *

Myra is in her bedroom doors locked and curtains were drawn. Myra's looking nervously down at her hand clutching a white object. An alarm sounds and Myra cuts it off. Myra looks back down at her hand and her eyes widened.

"No fucking way!" Myra said

Myra runs over to her desk and there are several more of the white objects laying on it.

"NO FUCKING WAY!" Myra yelled

Clutched in Myra's hand is a pregnancy test with a pink positive just like the rest of the pregnancy test on her desk.


	15. Auto-Erotic Assimilation

**Auto-Erotic Assimilation**

Myra had gathered Rick and her brother in the garage. She was pacing in front of the two, Morty looked worriedly at his sister while Rick was drinking from his flask.

"M-Myra what's wrong?" Morty asked

"Listen you two I'm gonna tell you something that you can't repeat to anyone else," Myra said

"What*burp*ever," Rick said

"Hey what are you three up to?" Summer asked walking into the garage.

Myra grabs Summer by her arm and pulls her into the garage slamming the door. She pushes Summer into a chair.

"Summer, you are now apart of the secret. You can't tell anyone especially Mom and Dad," Myra said getting close to Summer's face.

"Myra it can't be that bad," Morty said

Myra grabs Morty's shoulders and shakes him, "Morty! You can't tell anyone! If you do I will throw you into a black hole."

Summer crosses her arms and leans back, "How bad can this secret be. What are you pregnant?" Summer said being sarcastic.

Myra's eyes widened and her face turns red. Rick, Morty, and Summer notice Myra's expression and the reality sinks in.

Summer and Morty's eyes widened as their jaws drop.

"No way! How could this happen!" Summer yelled

Morty was just freaking out making random noises.

"I don't know okay! It just did!" Myra said

"Well, are you gonna keep it?" Rick asked

"Rick!" Morty yelled

"Grandpa!" Summer yelled

"What? We can do it right here," Rick said

"No! I-I'm gonna keep it," Myra said, "I just need a little help, I also need to keep it from Mom and Dad until I figure out the details."

"Wow. I can't believe I'm gonna be an Aunt," Summer said

"You're already an Aunt. Remember Morty Jr," Myra said

Morty gets a sad look on his face thinking about his son.

"Look you guys can you promise me that you won't tell anyone," Myra said

A silence went over the room before Morty spoke, "O-Okay Myra. I just want you to know you can always count on me."

"Me too," Summer said

Rick rolled his eyes, "Yeah whatever me too."

Myra smiled at her family feeling like she was about to cry. The pregnancy hormones were really kicking in. The heartfelt moment was suddenly interpreted by a guttural like noise.

*Guuur*

"What the hell was that?" Rick questioned

*Guuuuruuur*

Myra grabbed her stomach, "That was me. I need food. I haven't eaten all day because everything in the house tastes like shit."

"I know what you need. Let's go for a ride," Rick said

Myra, Morty, Rick, and Summer were now all in the space cruiser. Myra was feeling a little better since Rick had gotten her some food. It seemed like she was craving alien food. It didn't matter what she was eating right now it tasted awesome. Now Myra had a bag of food next to her and was happily stuffing her face. As Rick drove the group started to sing to a song that came on the radio.

love connection experience come together with love, connection, and experience

"It's my favorite song," Rick said

Suddenly a red light went off sounding an alarm.

"Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, distress beacon! *burp* yeah, baby!" Rick said with a smile.

"You're excited about that?" Morty asked

"The first rule of space travel, kids, is always check out distress beacons. 9 out of 10 times, it's a ship full of dead aliens and a bunch of free shit!" Rick said flying to a wrecked ship.

"Whoa!" Morty and Summer said spotting the ship.

"1 out of 10 times, it's a deadly trap, but I'm ready to roll those dice," Rick said

The group entered the ship and the whole thing was a mess. It was clear that the people in the ship were attacked.

"Seems like something terrible happened here," Summer said

"Yep. Cha-ching," Rick pulled a can of spray paint out, "Oh, yeah, if you find a room full of eggs, don't shy away from it. Give one of them a shake. Those facehuggers are worth more than this ship," Rick said spray paint a wall.

"What are you doing?" Myra asked

"This'll make the cops write it up as a looting by the korblocks," Rick said

"That's horrible," Summer said

"I hear you, man. Cops are racist," Rick said

The group jump when the hear a door open and see several blue aliens come in.

"Oh, hey. You're alive. Thank god," Rick said not meaning it.

"Can you help us? Our planet was taken over by some kind of...entity," The woman alien asked desperately. It absorbed the minds of our people."

"We didn't notice until it was too late. The people it takes over, they-they look like your friends, your family, your leaders, but they're not themselves anymore. They're part of...it," A male alien said

"Then how do you know it didn't get on the ship with you? Those two ding dongs seem pretty calm about the whole thing," Rick said pointing at two guys.

They were standing behind the group calm. Suddenly one of them screeches pointing at the aliens and the two lunge grabbing the other aliens. The start barfing in the other aliens mouths making Morty, Myra, and Summer freak out. They scream and run behind Rick hiding.

"Called it," Rick said bringing out a ray gun. Rick aims the ray gun at the aliens when they stop moving and look at Rick with a seductive look.

"Hello, Rick. Long time no see," The aliens said speaking in tandem.

"Unity?" Rick said surprised

"Rick?" Morty and Myra questioned

"Grandpa?" Summer questioned

"Oh, boy. Uh...These are my grandkids, Summer, Myra, and Morty. Summer, Morty, Myra this is, uh, Unity. We sort of used to, uh...date," Rick said

* * *

The group was taken to the planet which Unity had assimilated. As they landed they were greeted by dozens of aliens.

"Quite an operation you got going here, Une. You're a whole planet now, huh?" Rick said

"After we broke up, I spent some time wandering through space. Then I found this world... where I was better able to focus on my passion for unification," Unity said

"You mean stealing people's bodies?" Summer said

"Summer, rude. Why don't you three kids go run off and play with Unity while Unity and I do some catching up," Rick said

The aliens go to lead the kids away but they pull away.

"No, wait, Rick, aren't these people gonna barf into our mouths and absorb us?" Morty said freaking out.

"You're guests here on my planet. You're free to be yourselves. I've never been any good at disappointing Rick," Unity said in a love-struck tone.

"Well, now I'm going to barf," Summer said

"That goes double for me," Myra sadi

"Come on, you two," Summer said walking away.

Morty, Myra, and Summer were lounging in a chair watching Unity constructing the three kids faces into the side of a mountain within a matter of seconds. The group was being fanned by other aliens and being waited on hand and foot. Summer had her arms crossed as scowl her face, while the twins were eating burgers, Myra had two in her hands efficiently eating twice the amount of her brother.

"Man, look at them go. So coordinated," Morty said

"I have to admit they are efficient," Myra said with a mouth full of food.

Summer lets out a scoff catching her sibling's attention.

"What's your problem? They're making you into a mount Rushmore. They made burgers!" Morty said

"Fuckig delicious burgers I might add," Myra said finishing off a plate. An alien walked up and immediately replaces the empty plate with another one full of burger and Myra happily digs in.

"Morty, Myra, open your eyes. There is no "they." These poor people's bodies are being used. They're a planet of puppets," Summer said

An alien who was fanning Summer looks at her sadly, "I can hear you."

"Ugh," Summer groaned out.

"Well, it seems like everybody here's cool with it. Except for all those redheads," Morty said pointing at a group of red-head aliens that were running by, "They seem like they're in a hurry to be somewhere else."

An alien dressed up like a clown comes up with a bunch of balloons, "Balloon, Summer? Balloon, Morty? Balloon, Myra?" The alien asked offering balloons.

"No, we don't want your dumb balloons, okay? We're bored. Take us back to Rick," Summer said

"Now's not a good time," The alien said

"Hey if you're gonna do something get me a side dish to go with these burgers," Myra said

"How can you eat so much?" Summer asked

Myra shrugged her shoulders, "Must be the alien baby."

"Wait the baby is an alien?!" Summer said

"You didn't know," Morty and Myra said

* * *

Summer had dragged Morty and Myra into the city and she was now on a soap box with a megaphone shouting at the aliens. Myra was sitting on the curb eating something that resembled nachos but the cheese was pink.

"Wake up, people! You have to fight it! You're under the spell of an evil monster!" Summer shouted

"I can hear you," An alien said in a sad tone.

"Yeah, so you keep saying!" Summer said jumping down from her box and making the alien several times in the face.

"Summer!" Morty said

Summer smacks the alien a few more times, "Wake up! You have to have some individuality left in there!"

"Why do you hate me, summer?" Unity asked

"I'm not talking you. I'm talking to…" Summer reaches into the aliens pocket and pulls out his wallet, "Steven Phillips. Steven, set yourself free."

"Summer, before I took over this planet, this man was a registered sex offender," Unity said

"Yeah? Well, so what? At least he was himself," Summer said

A woman alien walks up, "This woman was a drug addict on the verge of suicide. Now she's a marine biologist."

"Listen, Unity, I don't think my sister's trying to say that life would be perfect without you. I think she's just saying that life would be, you know, life," Morty said

"It's just weird seeing people so…..unified," Myra said

An alien walked up, "I have transformed life here into a paradise. Prostitutes are now scientists. The homeless are now phisosophers."

"Oh. Oh. ph-phisosophers?" Summer said

The alien started grabbing his stomach and wobbling.

"Philopol...Phiphophopher…"

"Oh, my god. Where did you learn to talk, you grandpa-stealing slut?" Summer said

"I'm feeling…" The alien vomits a yellow goo and falls over with several other aliens in a domino-like effect.

"Oh, man, let me help all of you guys up," Morty said

"I'm fine," All the aliens say.

Morty, Myra, and Summer look around seeing all the aliens vomiting up the yellow goo. The town quickly falls apart and the three jump out of the way as a steel falls and almost crushes them.

"Unity, what's happening?" Summer asked the alien she hit earlier.

"Who's Unity? You kids have nice feet. Mind if I take a picture?" The guy asked taking out his cellphone.

"Gross. No," Summer said

"I think you're getting what you wanted, Summer. Something's happening to Unity," Morty said

"Yeah but I don't think that's a good thing," Myra said

"Do all of you remember who you are?" Summer asked

"Yeah, uh, my name is Ron Benson. I'm an electrical engineer, father of two, and," The alien rips off his shirt, "as you can see from my flat, concentric nipple rings, I'm a member of this planet's top race!"

"Okay, that's good. Uh, don't focus too much on the last part, but-" Summer said

Another alien steps up, "I'm Daryl Jefferson. I'm a landscaper. And I'll be damned if that ripple-nipple bitch's race is superior!" The alien rips off his shirt too, "The cone-nipple people will rule this world!"

"You shut your mouth, you dirty knife-nipple bastards."

"What'd you say to me, you target-chest piece of shit!"

"Race war!"

The aliens start fighting and beating the crap out fo each other, fighting with intent to kill.

"Why are you fighting?! Can't you see you're all the same?" Summer shouted

"Oh, summer. Hahaha, First race war, huh?" Morty said

"What is this like the fifth one?" Myra said

* * *

The fighting quickly escalated and the city was one fire as buildings were destroyed.

"Way to go, Summer. You started a race war," Morty said

"Hehe, you really are related to Rick," Myra said

"I didn't start it! They're the racists. I-I merely empowered them to follow their apparently misguided dreams," Summer said

"Okay, thanks for clarifying. I'll have a super-accurate headstone now," Morty said

An alien with cone nipples runs up to them with a steel pipe, "Hey, wait what race are you guys?" "We're neither. S-see?" Morty said lifting up his shirt.

"We're not flashing," Myra said speaking for her and her sister.

"Yeah, take our word for it. We just have regular nipples," Summer said

"Hey, these two freaks have no race!" The alien said raising his pipe.

Myra, Morty, and Summer run away. They are quickly cornered by a group of hostile aliens.

Summer and Morty grab onto each other locking Myra in the middle of them.

"Oh, there's no place like home. There's no place like home. Remember, you guys? From Dorothy and the tiny people movie?" Morty said

"Yes, yes. All the tiny people. Dorothy, take us away," Summer said

Myra pulls away from her siblings and stands in front of them holding up her watch.

"Back the fuck up! I'm a hungry pregnant emotional teenager with a super deadly high-tech watch I will fuck you up!" Myra yelled

Suddenly a helicopter flies overhead and several armed men jump out and grab onto Myra, Morty, and Summer and then repels them back into the helicopters.

"Hello, Summer. Hello, Morty. Hello, Myra. It's okay. You're safe now."

"Unity?" Morty asked

"Yes," Unity answered

"Oh, Unity, I am so sorry. I didn't know freedom meant people doing stuff that sucks. I was thinking more of a choose your own cellphone-carrier thing," Summer said

"Oh, Summer, you did nothing wrong. I'm having fun with your grandpa. Lost a little control. Probably shouldn't be piloting a hovercopter, nor should I be running 200,000 pediatric hospitals and 12 million deep fryers, but hey, it's not like this planet can take its business elsewhere," Unity said

"Um, should we maybe stop somewhere and get you a coffee? Maybe splash a little water on your face, or…" Morty said

"No, no, if I wanted to be sober, I wouldn't have gotten drunk. Whoo-hoo-hoo!" Unity said as the plane shook.

* * *

Myra, Summer, and Morty walk into a large office which was a wreck.

"Unity, could you get Rick out here, please?" Morty asked

"He's unavailable. He's…"

"Having sex with you. We get it. Gross. Get him out here now," Summer said

"I don't think he wants to be-"

"Grandpa Rick!"

"Rick! Rick!"

Summer, Morty, and Myra called out for their grandpa.

"I'm gonna tell mom and dad about the gagoo you have locked up under the garage!" Summer yelled

Rick comes out in his underwear wearing a sombrero and holding a bottle of tequila, "What the hell is your problem?"

"Grandpa, we need to go home, now," Summer said

"Fine. Sheesh," Rick opens a portal, "See you."

"No Rick all of us need to go home," Myra said

"Tend to your garden, kids. I'm kind of doing a thing here. Hahaha! Whoo!" Rick said

"Grandpa Rick, we're not leaving without you," Summer said

"Oh, my god, you guys. I get it. You're afraid the big, bad hive mind is gonna steal your grandpa away," Rick said

"Actually, no. I think Unity's great and you're a horrible influence on it," Summer said

"What?" Rick said

"This isn't healthy, Rick. You know, you're you're really up to no good around here a-at this place, you know?" Morty said

"There's a fucking race war happening right now," Myra said

"You and Unity are like like leggings and mid-calf boots. You think you're great together, but you're just bringing out the worst in each other," Summer said

"Oh, gee. Boy, Summer. Well, put. Uh, why don't we see what Unity thinks? Unity?" Rick asked Unity.

A women alien draped over a couch looking hung over answers, "I'm just taking a little break from stuff. You know? I need to relax. Oh, hey, w-what's this on the news, guys? L-l-let me turn it up." "In the news today, this looks a lot worse than it is. We're really just having a good time. Karen? Thanks, todd. Up next, are you a concerned grandchild or just a buzzkill? We'll tell you how you can know for sure."

"I think you two are a little outnumbered," Rick said

"Okay, well, what if you did it for me? What if you came with us as a favor to us because you love us?" Summer asked

"What? Dumb. Bye," Rick said

"But Rick, summer's just-"

Rick cuts off Morty, "Summer's just a hyper-emotional, needy little what's the word I'm looking for here? Uh...human. It runs in the family. I can tolerate it, but I can't give a crap about it. Take a hike."

Myra, Morty, and Summer slowly approach the portal.

"Take care of yourself, Unity," Summer said

* * *

As the teen's exit out of the portal, they find themselves in the garage where they see the secret hatch open and a large alien monster climbs out.

"Hey Korblok," Myra said

Korblok gives Myra a wave before trying to leave the garage. He pushes up against the garage door but can't open it, "How do you what is this?"

Morty flips a switch and the garage door slowly opens up.

"Uh, is there a slow setting? Best door ever," Korblok aid before leaving.

* * *

Myra was in her bedroom sitting in front of her mirror connected to her dresser. She pressed a button on her dresser and a panel opens up on her dresser and the mirror flips over revealing it to be a large communicator.

"Okay here we go," Myra said

Myra types in a few numbers and the communicator starts to connect. Within a few seconds, Mason's face appears.

"Myra! Are you okay?!" Mason asked

Myra raised an eyebrow, "Yeah. Why?"

"It's just you haven't talked to me in a while so…..I thought something might have happened to you or that you were mad at me," Mason said

"Mason. I'm fine and I'm not mad at you, but I do have something I need to tell you," Myra said

"Go ahead," Mason said giving Myra all of his attention.

Myra takes in a deep breath and just plans to blurt it out, "I'm pregnant!"

Mason's eyes slowly start to widen as the words ring in his head. Then he suddenly vanishes from the screen.

"M-Mason!" Myra said

She stares at the screen seeing where Mason once was.

"Where the hell did he-ah!"

Myra let out a squeal as she was grabbed from behind and lifted into the air. She looks behind her to see Mason with a smile.

"Mason-!"

Myra is cut off when Mason dips Myra and locks lips with her giving her a deep kiss.

When they pull away Myra looks at Mason a little stunned, "You're taking this surprising well."

"How could I not! Myra since I laid eyes on you this is all I've wanted," Mason said

Myra flushes and looks away from Mason. She's been going through a mixture of emotions that she wasn't used to and they were always brought up when Mason was around.

Myra pulled away from Mason.

"Myra?" Mason asked

"Mason. Listen I….-I'm scared as fuck! Okay scared as fuck! I-I didn't even know if I wanted to have kids and now I'm pregnant and I'm feeling all of these new things. It's all confusing and I don't understand, and I hate not knowing it stresses me out and make me flip shit-!"

Mason cuts off Myra by grabbing her face. Myra was hyperventilating and Mason gave a look of adoration.

"Myra, calm down, just breathe," Mason said

Myra tries to take in some deep breaths calming herself down.

"Myra, this may seem fast and confusing, but there's something I'm 100% sure of. There's no one I'd rather be with and I couldn't imagine having a baby with anyone else. You're the only person I want or will ever want. I would do anything for you and give you anything you want. Now I want you to clear your mind and think about how you feel," Mason said

Myra calms down and takes in Mason's words, "I….The thing is. I've never thought about love or a future family but…..when I think about you even though it confuses the hell out of me…..I can definitely see you in the picture."

Mason smiles and gives Myra a kiss.

"Now that that's settled we've got a lot of work to do," Mason said

"Work?" Myra asked

"Why yes. I'll have to inform my family. Get the rooms set up. Plan the dinner. Start planning yours and the baby's coronation-"

"Coronation?" Myra questions

"Yeah, it's a ceremony performed whenever someone of royal blood is born into the family," Mason said

"What else is there?" Myra asked

"Well….there's the ceremony of us to make you the queen," Mason said lowly hoping to pet Myra like before.

Myra turns away from Mason and he winces thinking she's mad again.

"Hmmmmm…..If I don't plan on being with anyone else and you really want it. I guess I could marry you," Myra said

"Wait what?!" Mason asked

"You heard me," Myra said smirking over her shoulder.

Mason's face ignites and fire erupts from his ears as he has a large smile on his face, "I-I'll get everything started right away!"

Mason runs through the portal he came out of but then pokes his head back in, "I'll make sure to send you some books on what to expect during your pregnancy. Love you!"

Mason goes back into the portal and it closes.

Myra gives off a small smile and whispers out, "Love you too."

A day later Rick still hadn't returned from the planet with Unity. Mason was still going crazy and told Myra about all of the things he got planned and what he was going to do. It was a little overwhelming but Mason seems to have it under control. He told her not to worry about anything as he was going to take care of all her needs. Several boxes were in her room full of things Mason had sent her. Some of it was food, some were books on what to expect for her pregnancy, some things to make her feel comfortable like a foot massager. When she told him she wanted to hide this from her parents he even sent clothes that would help hide her stomach for when she started showing.

"Oooo, what is this," Myra said pulling out what looked like a box of chocolates.

The candy was pitch black but it smelled sweet. Myra popped one in her mouth and was taken to heaven. She took the whole box as she made her way downstairs.

As Myra sat down on the couch with Summer and Morty, Rick appeared through the portal. Jerry and Beth walked in the room and Beth approached her father.

"Hey. Dad. I, um Jerry and I were looking for our weed whacker and found your subterranean lair and your alien prisoner, and he got away. And I know I sound like mom, but I can't sacrifice this whole family's safety just because I'm afraid you'll leave again, so no more alien prisoners and no more subterranean excavation without consulting us," Beth said

"Okay," Rick said

"Okay? "Okay" like you're gonna quietly teleport somewhere and never come back?" Beth asked

"No. It's your house," Rick said walking away from Beth.

"Grandpa Rick, what happened with Unity?" Summer asked

"Who? Oh, Unity. Yeah, well...I mean, honestly, we're talking about an entity that thrives on enslavement, you know? It's not cool. Fun's fun, but who needs it? I'll be in the garage," Rick said before walking away.

"Ummm was it me or did Rick seem….sad," Myra said before putting a piece of candy in her mouth.

"He did seem off," Summer said

Summer, Morty, and Myra look to where Rick had left still pondering his change in attitude.

Morty finally noticed what his sister was eating and ask her about, "What do you have there Myra?"

"Oh, this alien candy. You guys gotta come check out the rest of the shit I have," Myra said pointing upstairs.

* * *

A few days later Rick invited the kids to a moving but right now he was freaking out in the space cruiser.

"Unity! Unity! Unity!" Rick yelled

A screen comes on in the cruiser and a robotic alien comes on, "How can I assist you?"

"I want to talk to *burp* Unity, Beta Seven. I know it's in there!" Rick yelled

"You're classified as a hostile entity, and Unity doesn't want to talk to you," Beta Seven said

"I know your game, Beta Seven. I've met a billion of you, you little on-deck, in-the-wings shoulder to cry on!" Rick yelled

"You are classified as a hostile entity," Beta Seven said

"Oh, you're just loving this, mother this isn't gonna shake out like you think, pal. Unity's not into other hive minds. It's gonna suck you in and use you up, and a month from now, I'm gonna be making out with all of you in a bunch of red wigs!" Rick yelled shaking the screen, "Unity! Unity! Unity, I know you can hear me. Get out here."

"Weapons systems engaged," Beta Seven said

"Oh, in your dreams you have weapon systems," Rick said

"Rick, you said we were going to a movie," Morty said

"We are, Morty. All right, Beta shit Seven, you just got saved by the bell, bitch!" Rick yelled


	16. Total Rickall

**Total Rickall**

Myra was laying on her bed reading an alien pregnancy book Mason had gotten her.

"Horns do not develop until four months after birth," Myra read, "Oh thank god. Hmmm looks like I'm only gonna be pregnant for only six months. Various mood swings but the most common ones are gonna be rage and anger," Myra said, "Cravings include meat and fire. How the hell can I eat fire."

"Myra breakfast!" Beth called from downstairs.

Myra closed her book and hid it away before making her way downstairs and to the dining room. Myra sat down at the kitchen table and noticed there was one extra person at the table. Myra looked confused staring at her family and started to count heads.

"Something wrong Myra?" Beth asked

"Yes….no…..I don't know," Myra said looking around the table.

"There's my favorite little genius," Steve said

"Hey…..Uncle Steve?" Myra said in a slightly confused tone.

Myra shook her head looking around the table again. She was confused, it must have been one of side effects of being pregnant with an alien baby. This was normal, yeah everyone at this table belonged here. Myra started eating her food as the normal family banter continued around the table.

"Steve, I just got a weird email. Did you buy us airline tickets?" Jerry asked

"Aw, shoot. It was supposed to be a surprise. I wanted to thank you for letting me live here all this time, so I'm treating the family to a vacation!" Steve said

"Steve, you're so sweet," Beth said

"Thanks, Uncle Steve!" Summer said

"Best uncle ever," Morty said

"Whooo! Vacation!" Myra said

"Look out, world. The Smith family is going to Paris!" Steve said

At that moment Rick walked into the room and threw some glowing green rocks in the trash.

"Rick, I don't like glowing rocks in the kitchen trash!" Jerry yelled

"Well, I don't like your unemployed genes in my grandchildren, Jerry, but life is made of little concessions," Rick said making Jerry look down sadly.

"You know what? You're gonna land on your feet, Jer. Some company out there's gonna thank their lucky stars they hired my little brother," Steve said

"Who the fuck are you?" Rick asked looking at Steve.

"My goofy brother, Steve. He's been living here almost a year now. Are you losing your mind?" Jerry said

"Hey, someone's been spending too much time around glowing rocks. Am I right?" Steve said making everyone laugh.

Rick narrows his eyes at Steve and then pulls out his laser gun and shoots him making everyone scream. Steve's body turns into a strange alien like creature which shoots out a liquid and then deflates dying on the kitchen floor.

"Oh, my god! Call an ambulance!"

"Oh, god! Steve!"

"What the hell, Rick?! What the hell?!"

"Will everybody just relax for a second? There's no such thing as an "Uncle Steve." That is an alien parasite," Rick said

"Parasite?" Myra questioned

"But I've known him my whole life," Jerry said

Rick grabbed some gloves and picked up the alien corpse, "No, you haven't, Jerry. These telepathic little bastards, they embed themselves in memories, and th-then they use those to multiply and spread out, take over planets. It's-it's disgusting."

"Steve wasn't real?" Morty asked

"He's a real piece of shit. This is a big one. Somebody probably tracked it in last week on the bottom of their shoe on a piece of alien fruit," Rick said

"Someone?" Summer said

"Get off the high road, Summer. We all got pink eye because you won't stop texting on the toilet," Rick said making Summer look ashamed.

"But Uncle Steve taught me how to ride a bike!" Morty said

""Steve" put that memory in your brain so he could live in your house, eat your food, and multiply. We could be infested with these things. *Burp* so we got to keep an eye out for any zany, wacky characters that pop up," Rick said

"Ooh, whee! Whatever you want, Rick! We're here to help!" Mr. Poopybutthole said

"Thanks, Mr. Poopybutthole. I always could count on you," Rick

 _ **~Flashback~**_

Everyone had gathered in the living room.

"All right. There's seven of us, and that's it. Me, Morty, Myra, Jerry, Beth, Mr. Poopybutthole, and Summer," Rick said writing down the number seven on a piece of paper and sticking it on a wall.

"Maybe you got the first one in time, Rick!" Mr. Poopybutthole said

"Can't afford to chance it," Rick said pressing a button on his watch.

The house was quickly covered in blast shields blocking anyone inside the house from the outside world.

"Dad, why does our house have blast shields?" Beth asked putting her hands on her hips clearly displeased.

"Trust me, Beth, you don't want to know how many answers that question has," Rick said

"Ooh, gosh, it feels claustrophobic! Reminds me of that time we all got stuck in the elevator together. You remember that? After "the hulk" musical?" Mr. Poopybutthole said

A nice family outing quickly went from fun to annoying. The Smiths were now trapped in an elevator after seeing the Hulk Musical.

Everyone watched Jerry punch buttons on the elevator with fake foam hulk fists. Morty was grunting and jumping back and forth on his feet trying to hold in his pee.

"Jerry, buttons don't work better if you hit them harder, and foam fists don't make you strong," Beth said

"I know. Friends make you strong. I watched the same musical you did," Jerry said

"Why couldn't I bring my portal gun?" Rick asked

"This blows," Myra said

"Why did all the drinks have to be extra large? Oh, the hulk. I just got that," Morty said

"Just pee your pants. I did it the minute we got stuck," Summer said earning a disgusted look from everyone, "Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, shame me. At least when I'm disgusting, it's on purpose."

"Oh, y'all, we're gonna be fine. I've always been here for you guys, and I always will be," Mr. Poopybutthole said

Suddenly the top of the elevator opens.

"Somebody call for repairs?" Nicky said

"Yay! Cousin Nicky!"

"It's me, cousin Nicky. I'm walkin' here! I mean, I'm not. I'm crouched in the elevator shaft, but hey, I'm walkin' here!" Nicky said

* * *

"It's true. We really do get into some crazy situations as a family, mostly when we're cooped up like this. Hey, maybe Mr. Poopypants is right. L-let's get some fresh air," Nicky said

"Come on, cousin Nicky. You heard Rick. We have to stay quarantined until we know that there's no more of these things," Morty said

"I hear you, Morty. Back in Brooklyn, we got a sayin' "we're walkin' here!" Nicky said making everyone laugh.

Rick narrows his eyes at Nicky before shooting him in the shoulder.

Just like the parasite from before Nicky shrivels up and dies spitting out a pink goo making everyone scream. Morty jumps away from the Nicky parasite corpse, as Myra jumps up and vomits on the other side of the couch.

"Oh! What the...? Cousin Nicky was a parasite?!" Morty cried out

"Seven, Morty!" Rick yelled pointing at the number he had written, "There's supposed to be seven of us! If there's eight, then that means somebody's not real," Rick said

"But how did you know it was Nicky?" Beth asked

"I guessed. That's why I aimed for his shoulder," Rick said

"So we can't trust any of our memories now? Nicky was the reason we found that old nazi submarine. Did that not even happen?" Beth asked

"Well, of course, it happened," Jerry said

"Wait but if Nicky-" Myra's statement was cut off by another flashback.

 _ **~Flashback~**_

Beth, Jerry, Rick, Morty Nicky, and Myra were all tied up on a submarine. Before them was Nazi General standing before an old chest.

"Now that I possess the mighty staff of rah-gubaba, the world will tremble before the fourth reich!" The General said holding up a staff.

"This is the last time I ask you for help on my history final, Rick," Morty said

"Hey, we got a word for nazis back in Brooklyn, pal," Nicky said

"I'm comfortable being called a Nazi. You think there's some other word that will hurt my feelings?" The General said

Nicky doesn't answer and looks at the Nazi General. The General hits Nicky on the head with his staff.

"Yeah. Think before you talk bitch. Rah-gubaba, help me kill America!" The General yelled raising his staff.

Suddenly the Nazi was hit on the head with an umbrella knocking him out.

"Mr. Beauregard!" Everyone said

"After due consideration, I have elected not to retire. Now, I believe someone has a final exam to attend. Set a course for Morty's high school," Mr. Beauregard said

* * *

Mr. Beauregard came into the room carrying a plate of snacks, "Perhaps I'm biased, but if that story never happened, then I wouldn't still be the family butler. Dare to dream."

"Wait," Rick said counting the people in the room.

"And if Mr. Beauregard wasn't our butler, it's safe to say the family'd be in a hell of a lot of trouble," Summer said

"No! Don't flashback!" Rick yelled

 _ **~Flashback~**_

Jerry's let out a cry as his head was caught in the banister of the stairs. The family looked worried but Myra was just smiling as she snapped some pictures on her phone.

"You're just gonna make more swelling. Don't worry, Jerry. Just relax. We called the fire department," Beth said

"You know they won't come here anymore," Jerry said tearfully.

Jerry grunts trying to pull his head out but it doesn't budge. Suddenly something is poured on his head and Jerry slips right out.

"Marmalade is served," Mr. Beauregard said

"I guess I take back what I said about British cuisine," Frankenstein said

* * *

Rick, Mr. Beauregard, and Summer were all having a pillow fight.

"Take that, Summer!" Rick said hitting Summer.

Suddenly Sleepy Gary walks in the room, "We're trying to sleep."

* * *

Morty was in the living room crying wearing a tuxedo, "I don't want to go to the dance alone."

"Then perhaps you shouldn't," Mr. Beauregard said stepping into the living room. He was wearing a red dress with makeup on his face.

"Aww. Mr. Beauregard," Beth said

"Shall we, master Morty?" Mr. Beauregard asked holding his arm out.

"We shall," Morty said

"Oh, wait, don't leave without letting photography raptor take a picture," Beth said

* * *

"Everybody stop remembering! These parasites are like bed bugs, and every flashback is another mattress. Look! There's only supposed to be seven people in this house," Rick said holding up the paper with the number on it.

"But there's always been 11," Beth said

"No! Uh, the fact that I wrote this number down means that there's four parasites," Rick said

"You sure about that, Rick?" Frankenstein asked

"Begging your pardon, Master Rick, but I seem to recall a great deal of confusion surrounding that number," Mr. Beauregard said

 _ **~Flashback~**_

"All right, there's seven of us *Burp* and that's it. Me, Morty, Myra, Jerry, Beth, Mr. Poopybutthole, Frankenstein, Sleepy Gary, photography raptor, Mr. Beauregard, and Summer," Rick said

"Uh, dad, that's like 11 people," Beth said

"7, 11, what's the difference? I just love the number 7 for no reason! Where's my pencil at?" Rick said

"Here, Rick! Use me!" Pencilvester said jumping into Rick's hand.

"Oh, thanks, Pencilvester!" Rick said

* * *

"Yeah, I-I g-I guess that is what happened, but I-I don't get why I would do that," Rick said

"Everybody makes mistakes, Rick. Why do you think I have one of these?" Pencilvester said flicking his eraserhead.

Everyone laughs as Photography Raptor takes a picture.

"That's it. Photos. Hard evidence," Beth said taking out her phone, "You're not in any of my photos, Mr. Poopybutthole."

"Well, what do you know about this? You're not in any of mine," Mr. Poopybutthole said looking from his phone to Beth.

"I've only got pictures of Dad and Morty's most embarrassing moments and….." Myra trails off when she finds pictures of her and Mason, some of them pretty R-rated, "...that's it."`

"All I have are pictures of me and my friends from school," Summer said getting some distrusting looks, "What? What teenage girl has pictures of her family? It's not like we're Mormon or dying."

"I will admit it's suspicious that Summer's only friend is a magic ballerina lamb that we've never seen," Frankenstein said

"That is su-*Burp*-suspicious. We're always hearing about this tinkles character, but we never get to-"

"Hi, everybody. I'm Tinkles, and these are my friends," Tinkles said appearing from behind the couch.

"See, everyone? Tinkles is real. That means so am I," Summer said

"Sorry, Summer."

"Man, I'm sorry, Summer. I was on the wrong side of the standing on this one," Frankenstein said

"Okay, look, we shouldn't need evidence or logic to know who's family and who isn't. I know who the Smiths are. I've known Beth since high school. And her husband, Sleepy Gary, is hands down my absolute best friend," Jerry said

"Thanks, Jerry," Sleepy Gary said

"Beyond that, no offense to any of you, but all bets are off," Jerry said

"Oh, thanks, Dad! That's what every child likes to hear from their father!" Myra said with a pissed off look.

"Look, I'm not used to being this unsure for this long. I'm just gonna aim for shoulders starting with the weird girl," Rick said shooting at Summer.

"Aah! Grandpa Rick!" Summer yelled dodging the blast.

"Hold still, "Summer"," Rick said

Sleepy Gary stands in front of Summer holding his arms up, "Rick, that is my daughter."

"Wait a minute," Myra said looking at Sleepy Gary suspiciously.

"Oh, yeah? Well, what if you just think that, Sleepy Gary? I've known you for 15 years. Don't make me hurt you," Rick said

"Rick, these are our family and friends, the people we barbecue with. Have you forgotten the barbecue?" Sleepy Gary said

"Wait, why would you want me to-You're one of them, aren't you?" Rick said

"Rick. You love those barbecues, Rick. You love them," Amish Cyborg said

"Hai! Remember it, Rick?" Hamuri said

"Shut up, Hamurai! Shut up, Amish Cyborg! What is this? '90s Conan?" Rick asked

That's when everyone starts chanting "Remember the barbecue. Remember the barbecue. Remember the barbecue."

 _ **~Flashback~**_

"You know what, Pencilvester? It took me my whole life to realize it, but I love said. You're good at it, Rick. Watch me, baby. I'm like tom cruise from, um, "cuisine" or w-whatever that movie's called where he makes drinks. Yeah, check me out. I'm like tom cruise from "cuisine." Yeah. Is that what it's called? "Cuisine"?" Rick said flipping and serving burgers.

"Wow! Hey, everybody. Let's give it up for the grillmaster Rick! Rick! Rick! Rick!" Pencilvester said starting a chant.

"Wait. Noooooo!" Rick yelled

* * *

Soon the house was filled to the brim with random characters.

"Shoot. Now, look. It's like a "where's waldo?" page. Can you find me? Check out all these zany characters. We'll be right back after these messages," Rick said

* * *

Myra let out a sigh rubbing her head, "All of this is giving me a headache."

"Here Myra, have some soothing Camomile tea," Robodog said in a robotic voice.

Robodog's back opens up and a plate of tea comes out. Myra grabs it taking a sip.

"Thank you Robodog. I can always count on you," Myra said

"I will never leave your side. Woof woof," Robodog said

"I think you should put down the gun and we should get you to a doctor. What do you say we take down these blast shields?" Sleepy Gary said

"I can't do that, Sleepy Gary. All right, everybody listen to me. I don't know if any of you guys are real, but this house has been infested with fake loved ones that spread through fake memories, and our planet will be destroyed if they get out," Rick said waving his gun around.

"But, Rick, even you have to admit you do tend to overreact to stuff," Frankenstein said

 _ **~Flashback~**_

Rick ran into the room holding some Nintendo 3Ds. He ran over to painting and took it off revealing a safe. He opened the safe and pulled out several stacks of cash.

"You guys, we got to hurry. I just got back from Walmart. They're selling Nintendo 3ds systems for $149.99 on sale, plus every time you buy one, you get a $50 gift card. Brings the total price down to $110 after tax. Now, listen, we can flip those sons of bitches for 230 bucks apiece easy! They're all limited-edition "Zelda" ones. Hurry! Hurry! Come with me! We can be rich, and we also all get to keep one and we can play Nintendo games! Nintendo, give me free stuff."

* * *

"Okay, yes, I definitely remember doing that, but also, I would never do that," Rick said

"Don't overreact, Rick," Pencilvester said

"Sleepy Gary, a word?" Jerry asked

"Sure, Jerry. Rick, keep a level head, okay?" Sleepy Gary said before walking off with Jerry.

"That's a cool watch there, Rick. Can I check it out?" Frankenstein said grabbing Rick and pulling up his lab coat sleeve.

"Uh, no thank-" Rick lets out a grunt as Frankenstein jerks him forward, "Okay. Trying to figure out how to lower the blast shields, huh? Anybody here think it's suspicious that a lot of people in here can't wait to get out of here?"

"Ah, you're paranoid, Rick. You've been paranoid since 'nam," Frankenstein said

 _ **~Flashback~**_

"So, what are you gonna do when you rotate back to the world, Frankenstein?" Rick asked

"Shi-i-i-i-t. I'mma bust a-"

* * *

"No! Get out of my head, parasite!" Rick yelled shaking his head.

"Drop it," Frankenstein said trying to grab the gun from Rick.

"Give me the gun, Frankenstein! Give it back!" Rick yelled

The two roll around struggling for the gun. The two fall over crashing onto the coffee table and breaking it. Frankenstein lands on top of Rick punches him in the face before taking the gun.

Rick was picked up dragged onto a chair where he was forced to sit and was held down.

"Is anyone here even real? Am I the only real person on earth?!" Rick yelled

"Maybe. Or maybe, just maybe, we're all real. You know me. I'm Reverse Giraffe. I have a short neck and legs. I went to college with Hamurai. I saved ghost in a jar's life in Vietnam," Reverse Giraffe said

"Boo rah!" Ghost in a Jar cheered.

"And, Beth, how many times have I been a shoulder for you to cry on?" Reverse Giraffe asked

Beth lets a teardrop from her eye and wiped it away, "Too many."

"Okay, so maybe we're just all fake. That don't make no sense! Or maybe there's only one deceiver here. The person that keeps telling us the path to salvation is being held prisoner and mistrusting each other," Reverse Giraffe said

"Hey, don't blame me! I tried to shoot Summer 10 minutes ago!" Rick yelled

"I know we all have beloved memories of Rick, but are we really supposed to believe that a mad scientist inventor with a flying car just showed up on our doorstep after being gone for years?" Reverse Giraffe said

"Yeah, you know, he does have a lot of really weird, made-up sounding catchphrases," Morty said

 _ **~Flashback~**_

"Wubba lubba dub dub!"

"Ricky ticky tavi, Gary!"

"And that's the wa-a-a-a-y the news goes."

"Hit the sack, jack."

"Uh-oh! Somersault jump."

"And that's why I always say shum shum shlippedy dop!"

"Grassss tastes bad-ah."

"No jumpin' in the sewer."

"Burger time!"

"Rubber baby baby bunkers!"

"Lick, lick, lick my balls! Haha! yeah! Say that all the time."

* * *

"That's a fake-ass catchphrase right there," Someone said

"Yeah, don't forget his incredibly vague back story," Beth said walking next to Rick.

"Beth, I'm your father!" Rick yelled

"Oh, are you, dad? Are you?" Beth said leaning in close to Rick.

"Rick, if you want to prove you're real, just do what any of the rest of us would do and-and-and open the blast shields and let us the hell out of here!" Morty said

"Why don't you make me, implausibly naive pubescent boy with an old Jewish comedy writer's name?" Rick said

"Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!"

"Give me the gun," Morty said

Morty was handed the gun and pointed it at Rick, "I'm not doing this in front of Pencilvester. Bring him to the garage."

As Rick was dragged off to the garage everyone starts cheering.

"And that takes care of that," Reverse Giraffe said

"We'll be out of here soon everyone," Frankenstein said making everyone cheer.

"It'll be nice to breathe in some fresh air," Pencilvester said

A few minutes go by and everyone waits for the blast shields to be lifted, but it never happens. Suddenly the door to the garage was kicked open. Morty and Rick appear holding various guns and weapons.

"Everybody remain calm! This is gonna take some explaining," Morty said

"We need to kill everyone that we can only remember fondly. Who's got a bad memory about Mrs. Refrigerator?" Rick said pointing his gun.

"I-I-I-I-everyone has bad memories of me. You remember that one time?" Mrs. Refrigerator said

 _ **~Flashback~**_

Everyone was on a rollercoaster screaming with Mrs. Refrigerator.

* * *

"Ooh, man, we couldn't stop screaming," Mrs. Refrigerator said nervously putting a hand on Beth's shoulder.

"Uh, roller coasters aren't bad, Mrs. Refrigerator. They're thrilling. And you've been a perfect companion to me my entire life," Beth said looking at Mrs. Refrigerator suspiciously.

"The jig is up! Get me out of here. Get me out of here! Aah!" Mrs. Refrigerator yelled running into the glass patio doors breaking them. She claws at the blast shields looking for an escape but Rick shoots her.

"Oh shit!"

"Everybody back! If you're not a parasite, you have nothing to fear. So what about Summer?" Rick said pointing his gun at Summer.

"Why am I always your go-to?!" Summer yelled

 _ **~Flashback~**_

Morty was out in the front yard watering the grass when Summer came up behind him and kicked him in the nuts. Morty falls to the ground in pain holding his crotch.

"Never go in my room again," Summer said

"I didn't!" Morty struggled to say.

* * *

"She's real. She's my bitch of an older sister," Morty said

Summer was tossed a gun, "Nice," She said with a smile.

"Okay now, what about Myra?" Morty asked

"Morty! You little shit stain! I'm your goddamn twin!" Myra yelled

 _ **~Flashback~**_

Myra walked in the living fiddling with her earnings, "Hey Morty help me test out my paralysis earnings."

Before Morty could speak Myra jabs him in the arm with one of her earrings and the boy falls to the floor immediately.

"Hmmmm….instant muscle paralysis, loss of motor functions," Myra then sniffs the air, "And all bodily functions. Thanks, Morty!"

Myra just leaves the room leaving Morty on the floor sitting in his own waste.

* * *

"That's my twin for sure," Morty said

Myra is tossed a gun, "That's better."

Everyone then turned their attention to Beth.

 _ **~Flashback~**_

Beth walks into her parents bedroom, "Mom, are you driving me to-"

"-Hmm? Yeah, yeah, yes. What time?" Beth said on the bed with a bottle of wine clutched in her hand.

"Oh, my god. Are you drunk?" Summer asked

"What are you? My wife coach?" Beth said

"You're what?" Summer asked.

Beth groggily gets out of bed and ends up smacking Summer in the eye with the bottle of wine.

"Oh! God!" Summer yelled

"Oh. Oh, my gosh," Beth said

"Oh! God! Mom!" Summer yelled her eye swelling.

"Sweetheart, are you okay? I didn't mean to," Beth said

"I'm gonna have a bruise! It's picture day!" Summer yelled

"It's not-don't overreact," Beth said holding up a compact of makeup, "I can clean it up."

"I want the police to take me!" Summer yelled

* * *

"Morty, give a gun to the lady that got pregnant with me too early and constantly makes it our problem," Summer said

Morty tosses his mother a gun, "Thank you, sweetie," Beth said before pointing her gun at someone.

"Beth, Beth, please!"

"I thought it was too good to be true that we'd have compatible kidneys," Beth said before shooting.

Everyone starts screaming and running as the Smiths cock their guns.

Myra runs around the house shooting everyone in sight.

"Man, I haven't had this much fun in a while!" Myra yelled

Myra comes across Robodog.

"Myra you are my master. I love you," Robodog said

"Mmmm-hmmmm," Myra said before shooting Robodog.

The screams continued on as the Smiths continued to take out the parasites.

Myra then bumps into Rick and the two glare at each other pointing their guns at one another.

 _ **~Flashback~**_

Rick and Myra were in the space cruiser yelling as they were being shot at by several other cruisers.

"Rick! You ass! This is all your fault!" Myra yelled

"This is your fault too!" Rick yelled

"Fuck you!" Myra yelled back.

* * *

Rick and Myra smile back at each other before they continue shooting.

After about half an hour the house was completely clear of parasites. Rick let down the blast shields as the family gathered in the dining room.

"From now on, let's all be careful to wash our hands when we get back from outer space. That goes for everyone," Rick said

"This is depressing. We killed every good person in the house. We're what's left? What a family," Jerry said

"At least we're real, Jerry. We're real. Ricky ticky tavi!" Rick said

"Ooh, whee! Amen to that. Now, this little poopypants is hungry. Will somebody pass me a pork chop?" Mr. Poopybutthole asked

As the family goes to eat Beth glares at Mr. Poopybutthole and raises her gun shooting Mr. Poopybutthole. Mr. Poopybutthole flies into a wall bleeding profusely.

"Oh, my god!"

"No, Beth! Oh, fuck."

"Wait, but I-"

"Oh, Beth! Why?!" Mr. Poopybutthole said

Jerry pulls out his phone, "I need an ambulance! There's been a shooting. My wife shot...Uh, my-my wife shot a long-time family friend."

"Why? Oh, my god, oh, my god, oh, my god, Mr. Poopybutthole," Morty said

"Towels! We need fucking towels!" Myra yelled

"Keep breathing!"

"Oh, god. What's happening?" Mr. Poopybutthole said

"Look at me! Look at me! Don't-don't fall asleep!" Morty said

"Is-is this what bleeding to death is? Oh, whee. Is this how I die? Oh, geez!" Mr. Poopybutthole said

Beth runs out the room shaken up.

* * *

The Smiths were in the hospital in the rehabilitation wing. Mr. Poopybutthole was being helped by a doctor trying his best to walk. Beth looked sad as she held a bouquet of flowers. Rick was busy stealing medication, what he was doing was wrong but it was kind of the hospital's fault for leaving out a tray of medicine.

"Oh, he-he's looking a lot better," Beth said

"Listen, Beth, don't torture yourself. I made a similar mistake years ago, but, you know, on a planetary scale," Rick said

Mr. Poopybutthole whispers to the doctor and points at Beth. The doctor nods her head and walks out the room.

"Is, um, is he mad at me?" Beth asked

"He's not pressing charges. I mean, that's got to be the "you shot me" equivalent of not being mad," Rick said

"Can he have visitors?" Beth asked the doctor.

"He'd like to be alone. He told me to tell you he's sorry you didn't have bad memories of him? If you love him, you should leave," The doctor said

The doctor goes back in the room leaving a disheartened Beth.

"Well then….I've got an appointment," Myra said standing up.

"Appointment for what?" Jerry asked

"None of you business, but I will be taking my sister with me," Myra said grabbing Summer's arm and walking away.

"Where are we going?" Summer asked

"To get my first ultrasound," Myra whispered to Summer.


	17. Gone Myra Gone

**Gone Myra Gone**

"Okay, how the hell am I supposed to hide this!" Myra yelled

"I-It's not that bad," Morty said

"Not bad! Not fucking bad! I swelled up like a balloon. I mean fucking look at these!" Myra yelled lifting up her shirt.

"Gha-Stop Myra! P-put your shirt down! P-Please!" Morty yelled covering his eyes.

You'd think that being pregnant Myra's stomach would be an issue but it wasn't her stomach that was causing her issues it was her chest. The normally A-cup girl jumped to a C-cup almost overnight.

"I'm wearing a bra dumbass," Myra said

"Well I don't w-want boobs ruined," Morty said

"You so insensitive Morty!" Myra yelled

She picked up her alarm clock chucking it at her twin, "Get the fuck out!"

Myra picks up a jewelry box about to throw it at Morty but the teen ran out the room. Myra huffed as she dropped the jewelry box and pulled out her phone.

"Fuck this," Myra said

* * *

"I like them," Mason said

"You better shut up before I slit your throat," Myra said glaring at Mason.

"Mood swings I see," Mason said, "It's a good thing you're human. My species spit acid. My father said that my mother melted down half the castle."

"Whatever," Myra aid going under the covers in Mason's bed.

"Tell you what, I've got an important meeting to attend. How about after I take you somewhere nice," Mason said

"Whatever," Myra said snuggling into the sheets.

Mason lets out a sigh before walking out the room.

Myra digs herself deeper into the bed trying to drift off into slumber land.

* * *

"The Galactic Federation has no jurisdiction here!" Queen Undo yelled slamming her fist on the table.

"We were simply trying to-"

"I know what you were trying to do! What your federation does to every planet! I will not allow my kingdom to fall under your control!" Queen Undo yelled

"Calm down my dear," King Invo said

"Don't tell me to calm down!" Queen Undo yelled glaring at her husband.

Her face slightly morphs as her jaw unhinges like a snake, fangs poking out as her eyes turned to slits.

"Very well dear," King Invo said

An alien leans over to King Invo, "Are you just gonna let her ya know?"

"I'd rather not get eaten," King Invo whispered back.

Queen Undo continues to yell and hiss as the meeting continues. Mason just lets out a sigh rolling his eyes putting his chin in hands. As everyone was distracted by the Queen an alien sneaks away leaving the room.

Myra was drifting off to sleep. She was at the point where sleep was taking over but she wasn't yet in REM.

The door creaked open going noticed by Myra as she shifted in bed. Suddenly Myra's mouth was covered as she was pulled out of the bed. The pregnant teen kicked and let out muffled screams as she was dragged across the room.

"Whahahhashthuianvohvuouafhgprarhiga!" Myra yelled, which meant, "What the hell! Getting kidnapped again!"

Myra's hands were tied up and she was gagged before she was thrown into a sack. A portal was opened and she was thrown in.

The portal was closed up and the alien left the room.

* * *

"Oooooooohhhhh Myra! I have returned!" Mason said walking into the room.

As he walked into the room he saw a large lump on the bed.

"Myra you up? Myra?" Mason asked

He picked pulled back the blanket revealing no Myra.

* * *

As a maid walked by the prince's room and eruption occurred and the halls shook as fire exploded out the door nearly crushing the servant.

The maid stuck her head in the room. Everything was covered in fire well whatever was left in the room.

"Master Mason?"

"WHAT?!" Mason yelled turning around with a deep guttural voice.

His normally pale skin was pitch black and his hair was literally made of flames. He had grown at least three feet taller and his fangs were longer.

"Nothing Sir," The maid said before running out the room.

"Now what's all this commotion?" King Invo said walking into the room before spotting his son, "Ah your appearance has changed your going through the final stages of adolescence but you look angry. Where is that young human woman, the one with the fiery mouth?"

Mason let out a loud roar releasing more fire from his mouth.

"Ah, I see. Well, try to return home soon and remember the treaty, be careful who you kill. Your mother is already in a frenzy," King Invo said

* * *

"Where the hell am I?!" Myra yelled

Myra was hanging three feet off the ground since the poor pregnant teen was chained up.

"Fucking kidnapped again! What the hell?!" Myra yelled

"So she awakens. Greetings your majesty."

Myra attempts to turn her head to hear where the voice came from but it's futile. The sound of footsteps are heard and a figure stops behind Myra. A hand grabs Myra and turns her around. An alien's face is what greeted Myra. It had orange skin and large tusks coming from its mouth and an elongated neck. It had one large eye that was completely green. Standing on each side of him were two Gromflomites, holding guns.

"Who the hell are you?!" Myra said

"I am your captor." The alien said

"No shit. Do you not have a name?" Myra said

"It is Shlok!" Shlok said

"Okay and I'm here because….?" Myra said

"Businesses my dear, business," Shlok said

"Uh-huh? Whatever you want from Rick I'm pretty sure you're not gonna get from him," Myra said

"This is not about Rick Sanchez, this about your future husband," Shlok said

"Future husband? You mean Mason. Yeah you're not getting shit from him especially after kidnapping me," Myra said

"Oh I think the young Prince will give me anything now that I've got his precious little queen and future heir," Shlok said poking at Myra's stomach.

"And what exactly is that you want?" Myra asked raising an eyebrow.

Shlok started to pace in front of Myra, "You see, it's rare for any solar system to not have the Galactic Federation present in any sector within it, even your backwater Milky Way solar system has Federation outposts in it. Now matter how much I push for it the Queen refuses to allow any Galactic Federation within her solar system, in fact, she's even personally destroyed secret ships hidden within the system-"

"Yeah, that's your fault even I know not the mess wit her-"

"Someone cover her mouth!" Shlok yelled pointing at Myra. A Gromflomite walks over with duct tape and tapes Myra's mouth shut causing Myra to huff and glare.

"Now as I was saying. The Galactic Federation had no hold within this solar system. We have set up a treaty but it does not allow any of our men to enter the system. In order to finally remedy the problem, I had one of my men gather you. You see the Queen won't listen to anyone, not even her own husband but there is someone's opinion who she highly regards and that is her son's. I'm sure the future King of the Dew Solar system," Shlok walked over to Myra and grabbed his face in his hands making her glare hard at the alien man, "will do anything to get his future Queen and future heir back. Now, do you have anything to say, my dear?"

"Mguhuughhhk!" Myra muffled out.

"Oh right, take that off," Shlok said

A Gromflomite walks over and rips the tape off of Myra's mouth.

"Fuck you," Myra said

* * *

"RAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Mason let out a loud yell as he piloted a spaceship.

* * *

"306 bottles of beer on the wall, 306 bottles of beer. You take one down pass it around 306 bottles of beer on the wall. 305 bottles of beer on the wall 305-!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" A Gromflomite yelled pointing his gun at Myra.

"If you'd give me something to do other than just hang here I wouldn't need to sing to entertain myself," Myra said, "Get me a magazine or put on a movie!"

* * *

Two Gromflomites were sitting around a water cooler drinking.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

*CRASH*

Mason's ship crashed into the room obliterating the Gromflomites, their insides now on display in the room. Mason jumped out of the ship holding a large blaster on his shoulder.

"Myra!" Mason roared, his load voice shaking the room.

* * *

"Myra!"

Myra looked up from the magazine she was staring at, that was being held up for her by one of the Gromflomite guards.

"He's here…" Myra said

Shlok marched up to Myra, "Listen here you-! What is that smell?!"

"Maybe it's the puddle of my urine you're standing in," Myra said

Shlok looked down and with a disgusted look jumped back shaking off his feet, "Disgusting! What is wrong with you!"

"Hey! My bladder has shrunk and I've been stung up here for hours and have been given zero bathroom breaks! This is on you buddy!" Myra yelled

* * *

A loud alarm blared through the building.

"Intruder in sector 9! Intruder in sector 9!"

Dozens of Gromflomites run down a hallway blasters in hands.

*BOOM*

A wall is blown up and Mason appears from the rubble.

"Where's Myra!" Mason yelled

All of the Gromflomites aim their guns at Mason. He transforms into his monstrous form and roars his jaw unhinging shooting fire out of his mouth. The fire blast hits all of the Gromflomites before him and the alien creatures let out shrill screams as they all melt in a pile of flesh and bone.

* * *

"I want double the guards set up in all entrances don't let him get to the girl," Shlok ordered

"That's not gonna work," Myra said

"Quiet you!" Shlok yelled

"Just saying," Myra said

"Pull him up on the screen," Shlok ordered

A Gromflomite runs over to a computer and hits a few buttons and pulls up a video feed. The video showed Mason running around screaming and firing blasts off. A Gromflomite tries to approach him from behind and without looking Mason's tail lifts up and rips the Gromflomites head off.

"Whoa….that's kind of hot," Myra said

Everyone looks at her.

"Don't give me those looks bastards," Myra said

* * *

"He's already reached the 15th floor!" A Gromflomite yelled freaking out, "I don't wanna die!"

"Keep it together!" Shlok yelled slapping the Gromflomite in the face.

"Not too long now," Myra said casually.

"I'd keep that air hole of yours shut because he's not gonna make it," Shlok said glaring at Myra.

"Hmmmm….is that so," Myra said narrowing her eyes, "I don't see any ears on you so I'm gonna tell you to listen closely because I'm gonna only say this once. This is what is going to happen. Mason is gonna burst into this room and kill all of your guards. He's going to release me and I'm gonna find something sharp to shove up your ass. Then I'm going to go home, kick back and have chocolate with Carolina Reaper Potato Chips while I giggle at the thought of how much your suffering."

"Your confidence will be the end of you," Shlok said

Myra just blows a raspberry as the building shakes.

"He's reached level 20!"

* * *

Mason ran up a set of stairs. He was now in his full form. Lava literally leaked out of his mouth and it dripped onto the floor melting through the metal floor beneath his feet. He had long ago abandoned his weapon and settled for tearing apart people with his bare hands.

"This is taking too long!" Mason snarled out. Mason's nostrils flared as he sniffed the air. He continued to sniff the air and looked up. He opened his mouth and let out a spiral of hot fire that tore through the ceiling above him and several other floors. He dug his sharp talon like claws in the wall and proceeded to climb up the walls and through the holes he created.

* * *

"He tore through the last floors. He's making his way up to us!"

"This room is surrounded with reinforced quantumaltramanium! He's not getting through them!" Shlok said

"That's what you say," Myra said

Gromflomites lined up at the doors entrance guns raised and ready to shoot.

"Your plan is going to shit," Myra said

A loud banging started to resonate through the room along with a loud scratching sound. It seemed like Mason was just outside the room and was searching for a weak spot.

"Hehe, he's not getting in no matter how hard he looks," Shlok said

Myra just rolls her eyes, she was getting really bored at this point, she might even start singing again.

The loud banging continued throughout the room until it finally stopped. The room got eerily quiet the tension building.

"Where's he now?" A Gromflomite questioned

"Pull up the monitors! Find him!" Shlok yelled

A Gromflomite pulled up the security feed showing the outside of the room. Dents could be seen on the door where it was clear Mason had tried to break through.

"Where is he! Where is he!" Shlok shouted

"I'm looking, but I can't find him. I can't even find him on the infrared scanner," The Gromflomite said

"That's impossible his species radiates an immense amount heat if he's not out there-!"

"Then he's in here," Myra finished

As soon as the words left her mouth the ceiling collapsed in as Mason's large form dropped in. Green blood was splattered all around the room as Mason's body landed on several Gromflomites. The rest of the Gromflomites started to shoot at Mason. The lasers hit his skin slightly singing it but didn't seem to affect the enraged alien prince. Mason's mouth opened and large billowing flames came out of his mouth torching the rest of the Gromflomites in the room.

Shlok, with fear in his large eyes, ran over to the metal barricaded door and started fervently put in the passcode. The alien was quickly cut off by his own scream as he was yanked back from the door. Shlok was held upside down by Mason's tail and then was thrown against walls and the floor. His battered body was thrown around and Myra's eyes just followed as her kidnapper was treated like a rag doll.

After severely beating Shlok, Mason dropped the alien on the hard floor then turned his head to Myra. The two stared at each other, Mason was breathing heavily, literal steam came out of his nostrils blowing Myra's hair back.

"Hey there. I like your new look," Myra said

Mason reaches forward and grabs onto the chain that was holding Myra up. With a sharp yank, he pulled Myra down and into his arms. He set the girl down and once she was on her feet he grabbed onto the chains that were binding her and with one swift pull he pulled them apart snapping the metal chains like toothpicks.

"Thanks, I knew you'd come for me," Myra said

Mason's eyes start to soften and his form starts to slowly change back to his normal appearance.

"You two aren't hurt are you?" Mason asked

Myra rubbed her neck and stretched out her arms, then she rubbed her stomach giving it a few light taps.

"Nope both of us are okay. Although I am hungry as hell, and my pants are smelly and wet," Myra said

Mason gave a light chuckle and pulled Myra into his arms, but then pulls away really quickly.

"Wow you are really wet," Mason said

"Yeah, thanks for the update," Myra said

The moment between the two was broken by a groan making the two turn their heads.

"Fuck man, he's still alive," Myra said looking over at Shlok. Then a wide grin comes onto her face, "That means I get to do something to him."

Shlok, unable to move, whimpers as Myra's smirk turns sadistic and her shadow hovers over his crumpled form.

* * *

Later that day Myra sat at the dinner table with her family.

"So Myra what did you do today?" Beth asked

Myra smirked, "Nothing much, just made a new friend."

"That's good maybe you can introduce them some time," Beth said

"Oh, I don't think he'll be up for that," Myra's smirk got even bigger, "In fact, I don't think he'll be up for anything in the foreseeable future."

The only one to really notice Myra's sadistic smirk was Morty and Rick. The later didn't care as he stuffed his mouth, and Morty let out a nervous moan as he slid slightly away from his twin.

* * *

"So how bad is it?" A Gromflomites Officer asked

Before he could get an answer an "Oh god!" rang out and another Gromflomite ran out of the room holding his hand over his mouth as puke came billowing forth from his mouth.

The Gromflomites Officer stuck his head into the room and was met with the sight of the dozens of Gromflomites body parts strewn about in the room. Shlok's body, which was strapped to the ground and a laser gun shoved right up where the sun don't shine.

Written on the wall in Gromflomites blood was the message "Treaty Over!"


	18. Get Schwifty

**Get Schwifty**

Myra was laying on her bed feet propped up on some pillows, resting on her stomach a large plate of ribs slathered in spicy barbecue sauce. She was watching TV as she tore through the plate of ribs, a trash can full of discarded bones sat right next to her bed as she tossed another picked clean bone into the bin. On her nightstand was a bottle of hot sauce, she reached over grabbing the bottle and started drinking directly from it. She put the bottle back down and went right back into eating her ribs. Everything seemed pretty normal for the teen pregnant with an alien baby that is until the house started to shake.

"What the hell!" Myra shouted, her plate of ribs fell off the bed splattering on the floor the barbecue sauce quickly soaking into the carpet making a sticky mess, "Son of a bitch!"

Myra made her way over to the window and saw in the sky a large giant yellow floating head.

"Show me what you got!" The head yelled

"What the fuck!"

Myra ran downstairs to see Rick and Morty on the couch watching the news.

"The view here is the same as yours, Jim. A giant head has entered Earth's gravity, triggering climate change and natural disasters we thought were impossible for at least another eight years." News Anchor Terry said

"Let's not make this political, Terry. Do we know what this giant head wants?" News Anchor Jerry said

"SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT."

"Jim, you heard *static* said, Show me what you got." News Anchor Terry said

"SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT. I WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU GOT."

"Oh boy. Time to go, Morty." Rick said standing up and turning off the TV.

"Uhh, where?" Morty asked

"The Pentagon. I mean, not THE Pentagon. *burp* The lame one, here on Earth," Rick said

* * *

Myra followed Morty and Rick outside as the two hopped into Rick's cruiser. She was about to get in but she was pushed back out by Rick.

"Hey! What gives?!" Myra said

"You can't come," Rick simply said

"'Why the hell not?!" Myra said

"Because your singing voice sounds like someone gargling hot asphalt," Rick replied

"What does my singing voice have to do with this?!" Myra shouted as Rick pulled out of the garage.

Summer, Beth, and Jerry run out the house scared looks on their faces.

"Is it God? If it's God, do we get out of school?" Summer asked

"It's not God, Summer," Beth said

"She's allowed to think it's God if she wants, honey!" Jerry interjected making Beth scowl.

"Shut up, Jerry," Beth replied crossing her arms.

"Ok…" Jerry said looking down.

Rick pulled the cruiser out onto the street stopping in front of the family.

"Dad, what do you know about this?" Beth asked

"Morty and I are going to look into it. You guys hold tight." Rick said before he and Morty flew off.

Myra huffed crossing her arms watching her twin and Rick fly away. "Whatever. I don't need them," Myra grumbled out.

Once the cruise was out of view Mr. Goldenfold pulled up on his moped.

"Scary stuff, huh? Pretty freaky. Hi, I'm Morty's math teacher. I'm also part of the street team inviting folks to the church downtown so we can pray together," Mr. Goldenfold said

"How is praying going to help?" Beth questioned

"Ma'am, a giant head in the sky is controlling the weather. Did you wanna play checkers? Let's be rational! I'll see you at God's house!" Mr. Goldenfold said before driving off.

"Well I sure as fuck ain't going," Myra said

"Myra were gonna go as a family," Jerry said

"I've got better stuff to do than watch idiots freak out," Myra said

"You're going," Jerry crossed his arms, "Or you're grounded."

"Fine whatever," Myra said causing Jerry to smirk thinking he had won, "I'll take the grounding." She said making Jerry's face drop along with his arms.

* * *

Myra huffed crossing her arms sinking into her seat. Somehow she was still dragged to the church. She tuned out everything that is until her former school principal stood up.

"Hi, Principal Vagina. The name's real, possibly Scandinavian. I'm just gonna come out and make this pitch. The old gods are dead. F*** all previous existing religions. All hail the one true god, the giant head in the sky," Principal Vagina said

No one reacts looking at the man with a strange look.

"Bob, Bob, I get it. But unless this," Principal Vagina holds up a cross, "can beat that…what have you done for me lately?" He tosses the cross to the priest, "So if you wanna excuse me, I'm going out on the sidewalk and dropping to my knees and pledging my eternal soul to the thing that literally controls the f***ing weather! Outta my way!"

Principal Vagina runs out of the church closing the heavy doors behind him.

"Ok, if sanity's been restored to this assembly, I'd like to talk about the cost of repairing our new organ. Sally, the plate, please," The Priest said said

Mr. Goldenfold held out a dollar, "Ohhhh, this is my favorite part!"

"I LIKE WHAT YOU GOT. GOOD JOB." The loud voice of the head catches everyone attention and they run out of the church to see Principal Vagina kneeling down praying to the head.

The Giant Head flies away and everyone cheers lifting up Principal Vagina.

Myra smacks her forehead, "I can't fucking believe our species is this stupid."

"Now hold on a second, let's be rational about this," Beth reasoned. Everyone stops cheering and looks at Beth.

"Oh come on people do you really think that him praying stopped all this shit!" Myra yelled

"Myra lower your voice," Beth said to her daughter, "I'm…I'm just saying, we don't know if there's a cause-effect relationship-"

Beth was cut off when the ground started to shake and she fell. "Oh, God, what's going on now?"

Suddenly some sort of strange energy field covers the earth. The ground continued to shake as the earth vanished then reappeared in another galaxy. The sky was bright yellow and there were four other planets present. A large sun that was shaped like a disco ball hung in the sky, and the clouds were various colors. Different colored heads littered the sky staring at earth.

"The head has left and sent its children!" Principal Vagina said

"Holy CRAP!" Beth shouted

Everyone started to drop to their knees praying that included Summer too.

"Oh dear giant head, we apologize for that discussion! It will never happen again!" Summer chanted

"God dammit," Myra said looking at everyone, "If everyone's gonna be this stupid then I'm going home." Myra turned away walking heading for home.

* * *

Myra was typing on her computer with a scowl on her face, when the words 'no signal' popped up on her screen she let out a curse slamming her hands on her desk, "Damn it!" She huffed looking outside, "Well we're definitely out of our normal solar system," She pulled out her phone and it said no signal too, "and it seems like something is jamming any signals coming into our planet. Hmmmm...maybe I can use the home's satellite dish and jerry rig a communication hub. Damn Rick and Morty for leaving me here, they know I hate being left with unanswered questions."

Myra was pacing around her room thinking of ideas.

"Happy Ascension!"

Myra stopped her pacing when someone ran by her window shouting.

"What the?" Myra stuck her head out the window to see several people run by wearing hats that were shaped like the giant heads in the sky.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Myra groaned out. She walked outside following the groups of people where she spotted her mother. She stood next to Beth as everyone watched Principal Vagina, who was now dressed in robes holding a homemade satellite on a stick that was connected to earbuds.

"Hello? Yes sir, yeah. Thank you, sir, thank you. He says he's proud of what we're doing and hopes we have a great Ascension Festival! Happy Ascension!" Principal Vagina said

"Happy Ascension!" Everyone cheered back.

"For the love of..." Myra groaned putting her face in her hand.

Jerry walked over carrying an ice cream cone a happy smile on his face. He looked over at Myra and Beth the two women had unimpressed looks on their faces, as they crossed their arms.

"We should pack up and leave town now," Beth stated

"Agreed," Myra added

"I think it's inspiring that our community is coping with fear in a way that involves a festival and homemade ice cream," Jerry turned to Beth, "If you'd stop being such an evangelical atheist," Then he turned to Myra, "and you stop being such a grumpy sour puss, you might start enjoying yourselves."

Before either Beth or Myra could bark out a retort Summer ran up wearing one of the Head Hats and three in her hands, causing both Beth and Myra to facepalm.

"Whoa! Look at you! You're wearing the hat and everything!" Jerry said in a slightly confused tone.

"Here's yours!" Summer put a hat on Jerry's head, "Mom, do you mind if I cook dinner tonight?" Summer asked

"Yeah, sure." Beth said in a dismissive tone, the words quickly registered in her head and she looked up at Summer, "Wait, what?"

"I love you guys. You gave me life. And it's the will of the many heads that all children honor their parents," Summer said

"Dinner sounds nice," Beth said

Myra just watched the interaction confused eyebrow cocked. Ethan, Summer's boyfriend, ran up to the family. He too was wearing a Head Hat.

"Pardon, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Hello, young Myra. Summer, are you coming to the Ascension?" Ethan said

"Father, can we please go to the Ascension?" Summer asked in a polite tone.

"Sure! Let's go to the Ascension. Wh-wh-what is it?" Jerry said

The family quickly found out and it was not what they were expecting. Jerry and Beth looked horrified while Myra looked dispirited and annoyed by the sheer stupidity of the community. The people were gagged and tied up to balloons teetered to the ground so that they didn't float away. Each person had signs on them labeling them 'Thief', 'Goth', and 'Movie Talker'.

Principal Vagina stepped up, "We hereby send these un- wantable's skyward that they might be inhaled by the many heads, later to be sneezed back to us as better babies!" He pulls out a pair of scissors and starts to cut the teethers, "Headward, free now to rise." He said as he cut each teether. The people floated away screaming from under their gags.

"Oh yes, yes! Rise to the giant head! You are free to be free!" Summer cheered

Beth and Jerry still looked horrified as they watched the whole thing.

"Well then...that just happened and I have no words to describe my feelings right now," Myra said

* * *

Myra was extremely annoyed right now and for several reasons. Reason number 1, her feet and ankles were swollen. Reason number 2, she was craving red meat and there was none in the house. Finally, reason number 3, Summer almost blew her secret to their parents. Summer had dragged the family outside for some "family bonding time", which consisted of the family hoeing the front yard so that they could plant their own vegetables. First off Myra did not want to plant anything. When her father offered her a shovel to start digging, Summer snatched it away saying that Myra was in no condition to work. Lucky for Myra her mother wasn't paying attention and that Jerry had a short attention span, with the promise of fresh lemonade Jerry immediately forgot about what Summer said. Now Myra was in the house grumbling pissed off stirring a pitcher of lemonade.

She poured four glasses and put them on a tray carrying it outside to her family. Jerry, Beth, and Summer were all working on the future garden as Summer told a story.

"And then Ethan played guitar and we learned the Seven Contemplations of the Head by singing them. It was really fun. Praise be the head!" Summer said

Myra lets out a sigh rolling her eyes as she handed out the drinks. She knew Summer wasn't the smartest person but she thought her sister was smart enough to know when she was falling under the spell of a cult ran by an idiot.

Speaking of idiots Principal Vaginarode up on his bicycle ringing its bell.

"Hi folks, Head Priest Vagina. Thanks for farming all those potatoes. It's 6 p.m., so if you're a parent, you're now entitled to adoration from your children."

"I'm going to start dinner!"Summer exclaimed before running into the house.

"I hate to say this but I miss the old bitchy Summer," Myra said

"Myra! Langue," Jerry scolded

"I don't know what to say. Summer is doing really well here," Beth said

"She's aced every test in potato class, and look how important potatoes have become," Jerry said

Myra wanted to bang her face with tray she was holding. There was no way her parents were gonna go along with this, were they?

Someone tied to balloons floated by screaming for help.

"She's not getting pregnant," Myra flinched slightly hearing Beth's words, "or doing drugs or missing curfew…"

The man tied to the balloons spotted the three and cried out to them. "Please help me! You can reach me if you try. Please help me!"

Beth and Jerry quickly avert their eyes looking at each other.

"That's not our business as long as Summer is thriving!" Beth said

"Oh come on!" Myra yelled, "You two can't really wanna go along with this. This stupidity is spreading like a fucking virus and stupid people with power equals...well that!" Myra yelled pointing at the guy who was screaming and floating away.

"Myra, honey," Beth said getting close to Myra, "There are some things that you have to do no matter how fatuous they may seem for the good of your kids."

"You'll learn when you have your own kids someday," Jerry said, "Now it's 6 pm shouldn't a certain little lady be giving her parents some adoration?" Jerry jokingly said with a smirk.

Myra glares at her father then slaps his lemonade out of his hand before walking into the house.

Jerry frowned looking at his spilled drink, "Was it something I said?"

Beth lets out a sigh shaking her head.

* * *

Myra was in her room working on her transmission hub so she could get a signal to the outside universe. Maybe if she called Mason he'd have some answers to what the fuck was going here.

"Knock knock." Summer's voice rang out from behind Myra's door, "Myra, my lovely little sister it's time for dinner."

Myra walked over to her door and opened it seeing the smiling face of Summer.

"Summer. I'm gonna tell you this once you are creeping me the fuck out," Myra said

Summer let out a laugh before patting Myra's head, "Oh sweet little sibling of mine. It is the will of the heads that I watch over you and make sure that I take care of my loved ones. Come it is time for dinner." Summer skipped away the smile still on her face.

"I'm not gonna contribute to this crazy-*Gurgle*"

Myra was cut off when her own stomach growled and she felt a kick in her lower abdomen.

"Okay, both the baby and I want food. So dinner first then I help take down this crazy ass new society." Myra closed her door before going downstairs to the dining room.

Her parents were already at the table sitting down. She sat down at the table across from her parents as Summer came in holding a large covered tray.

Summer set the tray on the table, "Taco time!" She said as she pulled off the trays top revealing fresh tacos. "I hope it pleases you as the head desires."

"That's wonderful, Summer!" Beth said with a smile.

"We're so proud of you. But honestly, you don't have to make dinner every night," Jerry said

"Of course I do, silly!" Suddenly Summer let out a gasp dropping the tray's lid and it clatters loudly onto the ground, "Oh my God, daddy, I'm sorry I called you silly! I'm so sorry!" Summer then drops to her knees in a prayer position, "Heavenly head and cranial creator! Forgive my transgressions against family and community! May my chores complete me as I complete them!"

Summer cries as she quickly leaves the room leaving a rather startled Jerry and Beth.

"So how's this whole going along with the crazy head people for the better of Summer working out?" Myra said with a smirk looking at her parent's shocked faces. She continues to smirk as she grabs a taco taking a bite out of it, "If you need me, I'll be off shutting this shit down." Myra walked out the room, but she quickly came back grabbed three more tacos then left.

* * *

Myra had a satellite in her hand and was adjusting it pointing it out her her window. As she moved the satellite around she kept looking back at her computer screen that kept flashing no signal on it.

"Let's see if I move it this way…" Myra moved the satellite to the left then "Signal Connecting" came on the screen.

"Yes!" Myra runs over to her computer and quickly starts to type on it. In a few minutes, Mason's face pops up on the screen.

"Myra! Hello!" Mason said with a happy smile on his face.

"Mason no time for pleasantries, tell me if you know anything about this?" Myra picks up her laptop and faces it outside showing the giant floating heads.

"Oh no…," Mason said

"Oh no, what? What the fuck are those things." Myra said

"Myra you need to get off your planet now," Mason said quickly.

"Why?"

"No time. Pack some of your things and get over here now," Mason exclaimed

"I can't make a portal there's some kind of signal jamming thing around the earth. If my portal gun was like Rick's I could but mine can't travel through dimensions," Myra said

"Myra those things are-"

"HELP! HELP!"

"That sounds like mom," Myra said setting her laptop down.

"Myra! Myra! Come back!" Mason yelled as Myra left the room.

Myra walked out the house following the sounds of her mother's screaming which now included her father's screams too. Myra turned a corner and gasped seeing her parents tried to balloons with Summer watching.

"What the fuck is going on!" Myra yelled

"Oh thank god! Myra help us!" Jerry said

"Summer what the hell!" Myra yelled

"It's okay Myra. Mom and Dad, are gonna be okay. They'll come back as babies!" Summer said

"I AM a baby! I'm a baby NOW!" Jerry cried tears pouring out his eyes.

"Come young Myra join the accession so that we can cleanse your parent's souls," Principal Vaginasaid

"Okay, enough is enough! You're all fucking insane and stupid. It's time to shut this shit down!"Myra yelled

"She's going to anger the heads! Grab her!" Principal Vagina said pointing at Myra.

Myra was quickly surrounded by the head followers, she was able to get a few punches in but she was eventually gagged and tied up next to her parents.

Principal Vagina picks up a pair of scissors and is about to cut the ropes but the heads in the sky start to frown.

"Hey! Look at the heads! Looks like the heads are gettin' angry!" Mr. Goldenfold shouted pointing up at the sky.

"I'm sure that has…that has nothing to do with this," Principal Vagina nervously said

He cuts the ropes and just as he does so the heads start booing.

"The heads are displeased!" Summer shouted, she jumped up grabbing onto her family preventing them from floating up. Summer's boyfriend ran up and grabbed on too, helping Summer hold them down. Myra kept cursing behind her gag struggling with her restraints. As Summer and Ethan pulled down on the three, the floating heads started to cheer as they had smiles on their faces.

"The heads love this! They love it when we DON'T kill the Smith family!" Mr. Goldenfold said

The balloons are cut from Myra, Jerry, and Beth and the drop to the ground.

"No! Stop that! You're not allowed to interpret the will of the heads!" Principal Vagina shouted angrily, "I'm the only one that speaks to the heads!"

One of the heads zooms in close to the earth, "DISQUALIFIED!"

"The heads disqualified Vagina! Get him!" Mr. Goldenfold shouted

Everyone mobs Principal Vagina tying him up as Jerry, Myra, and Beth are let go.

"One of the worst days ever," Myra said ripping off her gag.

Principal Vagina was tied up to balloons and set free floating into the sky, "Ohhh my GOOOOODDDD!"

One of the heads smiles and zooms in close, "After 988 seasons of Planet Music, the Cromulons have decided to declare Earth the final winner and bring our musical reality show to a conclusion. Goodbye!"

The ground starts to shake then Earth was transported back to its correct solar system. The sky was once again it's normal bright blue and white clouds drifted across the sky. Everyone, minus Myra, looked stunned as they stare up at the sky.

"Did he just say "musical reality show"?" Mr. Goldenfold asked

"Yeah, it's possible that we may have been correlating some things that weren't actually related at all," Jerry said a hint of shame in his voice.

"Dumbasses," Myra muttered walking away. As she made her way back to the house Principal Vagina floated by screaming for help. Myra looked at him for a second then shrugged her shoulders going inside.

* * *

"You seem really agitated."

"Fucking right I'm agitated, the day I had was terrible."

Myra was in her room along with Mason. Myra was sitting on her bed and Mason was rubbing her feet. Laying around the room were a few boxes, more gifts and such courtesy of Mason.

"I was getting kinda worried about you two," Mason said looking at Myra's face then down at her stomach.

"We're both fine although I am hungry again," Myra said

Mason chuckled, "Your gonna have to start wearing bigger shirts soon if your gonna hide this from your parents."

Myra looked down at her stomach which was no longer flat, it poked out slightly showing the signs of the life growing in her, "Ugh, don't remind me. It's gonna be hard as hell trying to hide my growing stomach from my parents. Well hide it from my mom, just dangle something shining in front of my dad and he'll be taken care of," Myra said

As Mason continued to rub Myra's foot there was a knock at her door.

"Shit!" Myra whispered out as she kicked Mason off her bed to the other side so he was hidden.

The door opened revealing Rick and Morty.

"Oh it's just you two," Myra said crossing her arms, "Have fun without me?"

"N-Not exactly," Morty said rubbing the back of his head, "But I did get to meet the president."

"How fun for you. Meanwhile, I was stuck here having to deal with the stupidity of mankind," Myra said

"W*burp*What else is new?" Rick said

"What do you guys want?" Myra asked

"W-Well Rick and I-"

"Just Morty," Rick interrupted.

"Rick!" Morty exclaimed, "Rick and I wanted to make it up for leaving you."

Myra narrowed her eyes, "Fine. Take me to that dimension that has the pizza that tells you knock knock jokes while you eat it." Myra said getting out her bed.

Rick opens a portal and the three leave. Mason finally appears from behind Myra's bed just as Jerry walked by whistling.

Rick's portal reappears next to Mason and Myra's hand shoots through the portal grabbing the front of Mason's shirt. Mason made a grunt as he was pulled him into the portal. Jerry turned around at the noise looking into Myra's room but saw nothing. He shrugged his shoulder and went back to whistling as he walked away.


	19. The Myra Effect

**The Myra Effect**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Hey, Myra here. Since you're reading this you can't actually see what's going on. The person who's screaming, well that's me. Now the person who's laughing like a lunatic well...that's a long story. Let's rewind this shall we, it all started with an important video phone call.

* * *

"What!?"

"You heard me. You can't come over anymore."

A devastated looking Mason was on Myra's computer screen.

"Why can't I come over anymore?" A teary-eyed Mason cried

"Because my dad almost caught you," Myra replied

But-but-"

"No buts! Until I tell my parents what's going on my house is off limits to you," Myra commanded

Mason continues to whine and Myra just rolled her eyes and shut off the video feed.

"Men can be so emotionally draining." Myra sighed out rubbing her temples.

"I couldn't agree more."

Myra jumped swiveling her chair around at the new voice in her room.

"Who the-!"

Myra was shocked to see Mason's mother standing in her room.

"It's good to see the future Queen of my kingdom will know how to keep its King in line," Mason's Mother said

"Uh...what are you doing here uh...I don't actually know your name-"

"It is Crusix!" The alien woman said cutting Myra off, "You will call me Chartude."

"Chartude?" Myra said in a confused tone.

"It means, non-blood mother," Chartude stated

"Okay…"

"Come along Myra, we've got much to do." Crusix grabbed Myra's arm and pulled her out of her seat.

"Much to do?! What do we have to do!? I don't have any plans for today!" Myra yelled

Crusix didn't answer and opened a portal in Myra's room, before dragging the pregnant teen inside with her.

* * *

"Now a Queen must always present herself with the utmost grace and elegance. She must always be draped in the proper clothing and hold her chin high. She must stand high, more than a figurehead, more than a symbol she is a leader, a commander of her people."

Myra was seriously uncomfortable, not because the Queen was giving her a lecture on the duties of being of Queen. She was uncomfortable because as the Queen talked Myra was being dressed and dolled up. She was being put in a dress, her hair was being styled and makeup was being slathered on her face.

"You look, splendid darling," Crusix praised looking at Myra.

Myra huffed not liking the situation she was in. Her hair was pulled up in a tight bun with a small crown on her head. Her dress was tight but large and poofy and was made to accentuates her pregnant belly. At least she was in flats and not heels.

"Now my dear it's time for our first lesson."

"Today is going to be so boring."

Myra couldn't have been more wrong in her whole life.

* * *

"Ah!"

Myra dodged a spike.

"This is what you consider lessons!?"

"Keep up dear the death wasps are coming next!"

Myra was holding a cup of what she could presume was alien tea and was doing her best to dodge deadly obstacles while not trying to spill the contents of her drink.

"You're fucking insane!" Myra screamed

The queen threw her head back in a laugh. "Thank you, my dear. Now, remember not to spill a single drop. A true Queen can overcome any battle with absolute poise and grace."

A large spiked ball rolled towards Myra and she let out a loud curse running the opposite direction. She dodged a pillar of fire, which singed the edges of her dress.

"This is fucking crazy!"

Myra finally made it to the end of the gruesome maze-like gauntlet. She was pissed and out of breath.

"Hmmm...not bad my dear. You managed to keep the tea from spilling but your dress is ruined and so is your hair. A true Queen can get out of any battle without a hair out of place." Crusix explained

Myra tried to yell at the woman but she was grabbed and dragged out of the room.

"Come, my dear. Let us get you cleaned up and prepared for the rest of your lessons."

* * *

Myra let out a sigh soaking in her bubble bath. The tub she was in was amazing, it shouldn't even have been considered a tub the thing was the size of a small pool. The water was at the perfect temperature and the bubbles were lavender scented calming her nerves. The room had a large window so she could see the planets multiple moons and there was large decorated candle stands around the room. A bowl of fruit had been sat next to Myra and she happily enjoyed the alien food.

"I might stay in here all day. It'll me keep away from that crazy woman too."

Myra sunk deeper into the water closing her eyes letting out a relaxing sigh. She slowly rubbed her bulging stomach. She was due in only a few short months. Hopefully, she didn't get too much bigger, right now she could hide her stomach from her parents wearing loose-fitting t-shirts, but they might start getting suspicious if she switched from her standard blue shorts to sweatpants. Well her mother might notice her father being the idiot that he was might think it's a new hip trend, which she could probably use to her advantage.

As Myra soaked in her peaceful bath a bubbling noise broke her relaxing silence. She opened her eyes and looked to the other end of the tub. She stared at the bubble covered water and saw it slosh slightly. She narrowed her eyes grabbing the edge of the tub using the leverage to stand up.

"What the?"

The water bubbled then there was a loud splash as a large serpent-like creature sprang from the water.

"What the hell!" Myra yelled

The creature roared at Myra and lunged at her. The naked Myra pulled herself out of the tub and almost busted her ass trying to run away on the slick bathroom surface.

"What the actual fuck!"

Myra screamed as she grabbed onto one of the large embellished curtains by the window trying to hold herself up, as she slipped on the wet floor.

"A true Queen is ready for any challenge at any moment."

Myra wanted to scream as she saw the Queen casually standing at the observing her. She didn't have any time to curse out the Queen as the creature dove at Myra for another attack.

"Fuck you!"

Myra used all her body weight to pull down the curtains using the large drapery to blind the large creature. The creature roared and struggled under the heavy cloth trying to shake itself free.

Myra ran over to one of the candle stands and picked it up grabbed one of the large candle stands as the creature broke free and turned to face Myra she dug the metal rod deep into its eye. The serpent let out a horrid screech purple blood splashing all over the room. Myra deadpanned as she was covered in the blood, angry since she had just finished getting clean from her bath. The creature continued to screech then flopped to the tiled bathroom floor dead, its purple blood leaking on the floor and into the bath water.

The Queen clapped enthusiastically at the scene before her, "Very good my dear!"

"Are you trying to fucking kill me!"

"Come dear it's time for your next lesson."

Myra let out a high-pitched shriek clearly pissed off.

* * *

The whole day continued like this. Crusix making Myra doing things that were maddening. Lunch was spent her eating while trying to dodge fire and other deadly projectiles. Then there was learning to walk in heels while carrying books on her head while also learning how to properly hold a sword. Learning how to play an instrument called a floozal, which resembles a harp combined with a piano. This one would have seemed normal and easy, but Myra had been locked in a room with a large carnivorous alien animal that could only be calmed down once she played the floozal properly. She ended up smashing the instrument over the beasts head and escaping from the room. Then there was poison making lessons….okay so she kind of liked that one. But still, everything she was doing was nuts. This place was infuriating Myra, she was going to snap.

Myra was back again getting stuffed into a dress and getting her hair and makeup done. Every lesson she had done resulted in her ruining her hair and dress, so the Queen continued to dress her up.

"My Queen! My Queen!"

A servant ran up, his tone of voice conveying his urgency.

"Yes? What is it? Can you not see I'm very busy." Crusix said

"My Queen we received a quite alarming transmission from one of our smaller territories in the north quadrant."

Crusix lifted an eyebrow. "Alarming how?"

"Well….uhm let me just show you."

The servant pulled out a gilded touchpad bringing up a video showing it to Crusix and Myra.

The video opened with aliens in a small city running and screaming explosions going off in the distance. The camera zoomed into an alien laughing as he used a blaster. He was tall with a hulking figure. His skin was pale green, his head was large and perfectly round like a ball. His eyes were all yellow and he had a long red tongue that clearly didn't fit in his mouth. He only had three fingers on each hand and he was wearing a spandex suit with armor attached to it.

"Hahahaha! No one can stop me! This planet shall be mine!" The alien pulled out a flag attached to a metal pole and stuck it in the ground, "Marlak's name will forever be known!"

He continued to laugh then the video ended.

Crusix had a serious look on her face.

"Get my ship."

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

So that's how I ended up here. Dragged by my psychotic mother-in-law as she trained me to be her successor. After this day I don't wanna be doing shit this woman does.

"Isn't this grand my dear! We shall chase down the invader and destroy him limb by limb!" Crusix cheered piloting the crashing ship.

Myra just continued to scream as she gripped onto her seat for dear life. The ship once getting within orbit of the planet had been shot down and now the two were plummeting to the ground.

The screams of terror and the manic laughter could be heard as the ship crashed on the ground. It slid in the rocky dirt digging into the terrain.

Myra was frozen eyes wide, stuck in her seat.

"Come, my dear! We must make haste!" Crusix kicked the door off the cruiser and hopped out.

Myra felt her eye twitch. She was a genius inventor, not some warrior ready for any sort of battle that could get her killed. Sure Rick took her on crazy adventures but this….this was something on whole new level. Myra snapped.

"That is it! I'm getting the fuck out of here! I'm done! This is all insane! Your fucking out of your mind! I'm fixing this cruiser then getting the hell out of here! I could give two shits about being the next Queen! I don't care if it's tradition or a cultural thing I ain't doing shit except getting the fuck out of here then kicking Mason's ass for putting me in this situation in the first place."

Myra finished her angry yelling with a huff. She turned the ship and started taking it apart in an attempt to repair it.

The Queen was silent watching the girl work. "Very well my dear." She gave Myra a nod and walked away chasing after Marlak.

* * *

The Queen came upon the area that was being destroyed in the video. There was no one in the area, but the buildings were destroyed and the ground was scorched from the explosions.

"Hmmm?" Crusix got a questioning look as she looked around. "No bodies or blood."

The sound of scurrying caught her attention and she turned around. The noises got louder as she tried to pinpoint what was moving, or rather should she say who.

"Ahhhh….it's an ambush I see."

Dozens of small creatures similar to Marlak but shorter in stature came out from hiding quickly surrounding the Queen.

"So this was all a trap. This was staged."

"That you are right my Queen."

Crusix looked up to see Marlak standing on top of a building. "I wiped out everyone on this planet long ago. Then I staged this invasion to draw you in. Worked perfectly if I do say so myself. You always did get so irrational when it comes to battling. Take her out."

Marlak snapped his fingers and the aliens attacked.

"Imbeciles."

Crusix's jaw unhinged and out came a stream of acid from her mouth. The aliens screaming filled the air as they were quickly cut down by the Queen. She smirked as she stepped over the withering bodies of the meager soldiers as their flesh melted off their bone.

"You are next Marlak."

Marlak hopped off the building and ran off with the Queen in hot pursuit, a wicked smirk on his face.

* * *

"Crazy woman with her unhinged personality. Stupid sexy alien boy getting me fucking pregnant. I'm the fucking idiot for agreeing to marry him, what am I, my father."

Myra grumbled to herself as she rewired the cruiser. She closed a panel then turned the cruiser on and she smiled when it roared to life.

"Thank you brain."

Myra flipped some switches prepared to take flight, when she spotted something on a cliff off in the distance.

"Oh for fuck's sake."

* * *

Marlak loomed over the Queen. She had no idea how it had come to this. An enemy standing over her a ray blaster in his hand pointed at her face. She was not about to be defeated, it was impossible.

"Hahaha, this marks an end of your reign my dear Queen. You fell into my trap gloriously, I knew the call of battle would draw you in. Now I shall be known as the great being that slayed you!"

"Hey, fuckface!"

Marlak turned around only to be stabbed in the chest with the flagpole he had planted earlier.

"This woman put me through hell today for her stupid ass training to be Queen and if she dies now that means I have to be in charge. If you think I'm gonna stand by and let you take her out so I'd have to take on all her psychotic responsibilities then you've got another thing coming. I think it's your death."

Myra shoved the pole deeper into the aliens chest before kicking him off the cliff. The two women watched him scream as he landed on the ground with a loud sickening crunch, green blood splattering the ground.

Crusix stood up dusting off her dress before smiling at Myra.

"Well my dear, you handled that perfectly and look not a single hair out of place. You might not see it but you are the right fit to become my successor. My son chose perfectly."

Myra rolled her eyes. "Whatever." Although a small smirk was placed on her lips.

* * *

"Hahaha!"

Mason and his father looked rather perplexed as they entered the main hall of the castle.

"Myra? Mother? What is going on and Myra are you in a dress?"

The two woman had large blasters in their hand and the Queen had Marlak's head on a spike.

"Mason my son. I was just giving Myra some lessons. I was just about to show her what we do with the bodies of our fallen enemies."

"Wait did you say lessons?! Myra are you okay?"

Myra shrugged her shoulders, "I've been better. You mother's insane."

Crusix laughed and gave Myra's back a hard pat, "Hahaha you such good company my dear! Come along!"

"See ya later Mason." Myra went to follow the Queen but stopped and turned back to Mason, "Also I'm getting you back for not telling me anything about your mother."

Mason looked despondent as he hung his head thinking about what torture Myra had in store for him later.

Mason's father patted the poor boy's shoulder. "There there, my son. We all have to suffer for the ones we love. Your mother tried to eat me once."

"I think I'd rather have that then whatever Myra has in store."


	20. The Ricks Must Be Crazy

**The Ricks Must Be Crazy**

A night out to the movies is something Myra really needed. Some calm bonding time with her family. She enjoyed a wonderful night out at the cinema with her siblings and Rick. The four walked out of the theater smiling, Myra carried a jumbo-sized tub of popcorn eating happily as she conversed with her family.

"Geez, I can't believe we found a version of Earth with a 'Ball Fondlers' movie franchise." Morty smiled as they walked outside.

"I can't believe the things this reality considers PG-13." Summer mused

"I can't believe how fucking big this thing of popcorn is and they let me get a refill as we were leaving." Myra smiled as she shoved more popcorn in her mouth.

"Yeah. I-I'm pretty jealous."

"Don't be, Morty. There's pros and cons to *BURP* every alternate timeline fun facts about this one. It's got giant, telepathic spiders," Summer cringes at that, "11 9/11s, aaaaand the best ice cream in the multiverse!" Rick cheered

Myra dropped her popcorn happy hearing the words ice cream.

"Shut up!" "Whoa!" The three teens chattered excited to try frozen treat.

Everyone piled into the car. Rick driving, Summer riding shotgun, and the twins in the back.

"We're gonna get some ice cream, motherfucker!" Rick cheered.

He turned the ignition of the ship, unfortunately the engine only sputtered not turning on.

"Oh, great." Rick groaned

He got out the car followed by the twins.

"Oh, boy. W-what's wrong, Rick? Is it the quantum carburetor or something?" Morty asked

Myra sighed shaking her head, "Morty you dumbass."

"'Quantum carburetor'? Jesus, Morty. You can't just add a *BURP* sci-fi word to a car word and hope it means something." Rick opened the back panel to the car and pulled out what looked like a fish tank with a pink glowing light in it. "Huh, looks like something's wrong with the microverse battery. We're gonna have to go inside."

"Um, go inside what?" Morty asked

"The battery, Morty."

Myra looked skeptical. "The battery?"

"That's right." Rick picked up a remote. "Be right back, Summer. Stay put, don't touch any buttons, and ignore all random thoughts that feel...spidery."

"Wait!" Summer exclaimed unbuckling herself. "You can't leave me here!"

"You'll be fine. Ship, keep Summer safe." Rick commanded

The cruiser beeped then a female voice came on. "Keep Summer safe."

Rick grabbed onto the twins then pressed a button, there was a yellow flash of light and the three were gone.

* * *

Rick, Myra, and Morty appeared in a small tech room.

"Oh, man. Where are we, Rick?" Morty looked around the room confused.

"Morty, remember eight seconds ago when *BURP* when you said, 'Go inside what?' And I said, 'The battery'? And then we showed up here, and I wasn't like, 'Whoa, this is unexpected. This is not what I was expecting, Morty. What a perplexing mystery this is.'"

"All right, all right we get it." Myra held up her hands. "We're inside the battery and Morty's a dumbass."

Morty frowned at his twin crossing his arms. "You two don't have to bust my balls."

"Then actually use your brain for once." Myra knocked on Morty's head. "I know it's in there."

Rick looked at a pipe in the middle of the room. "Huh, this isn't right. This pipe's supposed to be sending 20 terawatts of juice up to the engine." Rick goes up inspecting the pipe closer. "Instead we've got... zero? Now, what are these people doing?"

"Did he just say, people?" Myra inquired looking at Morty.

"W-w-w-whoa, people?"

"It's time for some hands-on engine repair. All right, twins, hold onto something." Rick pressed some buttons and the room started to shake then it lifted up flying. The room was actually a small ship that was now flying over an entire city.

"Holy shit!" Myra looked at Rick, "Rick you didn't."

Rick smirked. "I did."

"Whoa! Holy crap! What did Rick do?! I thought we were inside your car battery, Rick. T-t-this is like a whole p-planet or something." Morty's mind was blown as he observed the city below.

"Thanks, Morty. I'm pretty proud of this bad boy. Check it out." Rick pulls up a hologram. "I put a spatially tessellated void inside a modified temporal field until a planet developed intelligent life. I then introduced that life to the wonders of electricity, which they now generate on a global scale. And, you know, some of it goes to power my engine and charge my phone and stuff."

"You have a whole planet sitting around making your power for you? That's slavery."

"It's society. They work for each other, Morty. They pay each other. They buy houses. They get married and make children that replace them when they get too old to make power." Rick explained

"That just sounds like slavery with extra steps," Morty chided

Myra nodded her head in agreement. "Gotta go with the twin on this one."

"Ooh-la-la, someone's gonna get laid in college."

"I liked to point already been laid here." Myra gloated

She started to smirk when both Morty and Rick made disgusted faces and groaned at her.

As Rick flew the ship they could see the people Rick had made gather around. They started setting up what looked like a party, there was even a marching band.

"You need to tell these people they're in a battery, Rick. It's messed up." Morty pointed outside. "There's caterers down there. They're setting up chaffing dishes."

"Oooo caterers, what grubs are they setting up?" Myra asked looking outside.

"I-I-Is food all your concerned about in this situation," Morty questioned

"Listen hear Morty, I'm pregnant with an alien baby who constantly wants food so shut up."

"Would you relax, Morty? There's nothing dishonest about what we're doing. Now slap on these antennae." Rick pulled out some novelty alien antennas and put them on the twins head. "These people need to think we're aliens."

"What? Why?"

"These are cheap," Myra stated messing with the antenna bobble.

"Shut up Myra. Obviously *BURP* Morty you really *BURP* know nothing about car repair."

The ship landed and fanfare started to play courtesy of the marching band as the doors opened.

Morty tried to step out but Rick held him back. "Wait for the ramp, Morty." The alien crowd cheered and clapped. "They love the slow ramp. Really gets their dicks hard when they see this ramp just slowly extending down." Pictures were taken and the crowd cheered even louder. "Greetings!"

The crowd started chanting Rick over and over again and then Rick started flipping them off making the twins looked confused.

"Twins, you got to flip them off. I told them it means 'Peace among worlds.' How hilarious is that?"

The twins see a small alien girl flip them the bird.

"Of course you would do some shit like that." Myra mumbled

Her and Morty looked unamused as they joined Rick in flipping the aliens off as the three walked down the ramp.

"Coming through. Three real aliens walking through here." Rick smiled as they got to the end of the ramp.

The three were greeted by an older looking alien man. "Rick, our alien friend."

"Uh, Mr. President," Rick addressed, "um, couldn't help but notice that you were having problems generating power."

"That's correct. We've evolved." The President looked rather proud at his statement. "Our most brilliant scientist, Zeep Xanflorp, has developed a source of energy that makes gooble boxes obsolete."

Rick gave a strained smile. "I would love to see it."

"Fuck you." The President said

Rick snapped grabbing the front of the President's jacket. "What did you say to me?!"

"Fuck you. Y-you told me it means much obliged." The President said

"Oh. Right." Rick let go of the alien, "Uh, b-blow me."

The President smiled, "No, no, no. Blow me."

* * *

The three were guided by the President to a large research facility. Inside was a younger alien talking on a communicator.

"Zeep, you have an honored guest from beyond the stars."

Zeep, ignored them. "I said 12 quantum stabilizers, not 11. Fix it or it's your ass." He finally stopped what he was doing and turned around. "Chris, I'm in the middle of something."

"Zeep, this is Rick. The alien."

"Rick the alien. Rick the alien…" Zeep pretends to look confused as he tapped his chin.

"Really? You're gonna pull that move? I guided your entire civilization. Your people have a holiday named Ricksgiving. They teach kids about me in school." Rick said

"I dropped out of school. It's not a place for smart people."

Morty and Myra get large smiles on their faces. "Ohhhh, snap!" They simultaneously jeered.

Rick glared at Zeep. "Listen to me, you arrogant little-"

"Rick was hoping to see your new energy source. I think he could learn a lot from you, Zeep." The President said

"Fine. It's hard for people to grasp, but inside that container is an infinite universe with a planet capable of generating massive amounts of power. I call it a miniverse." Zeep explained

"*Cough* Dumb *Cough* name." Rick grumbled

"Excuse me?" Zeep raised and eyebrow.

"Nothing. I mean, it's hard for us to comprehend all this. Would it be possible for us to get some kind of tour of your miniverse from the inside?"

"This isn't a fucking chocolate factory. I don't have time." Zeep declared

"Didn't you say time goes more slowly in the miniverse relative to the real world?" The President said

Zeep glared, "Yes, Chris. Thanks for reminding me of that. Great president. All right, let's go." Zeep picked up a remote and pressed a button and the four were gone.

* * *

The group was teleported to a ship similar to Rick's tiny spaceship except the color scheme was gold and it was sleeker.

Zeep got at the wheel of the ship. "Hold on to something." He piloted the ship showing the group his tiny world. "I put an unbounded vacuum inside a temporal field until a world developed. I then introduced the people of this world to the wonders of electricity in the form of a device I call a flooble crank. What they don't know is that 80% of every crank's energy output gets channeled out of the miniverse to be used by us. No more gooble boxes."

"Hahaha!" Myra laughed pointing at Rick.

Rick rolled his eyes and stood next to Zeep, "I gotta tell you, Zeep, with no disrespect, I really think what you're doing here is unethical. It's not cool."

"What?!" Morty exclaimed

"Y-y-you got the people on this world slaving away ma*BURP*king your power. I mean, that's what I call slavery."

"No, no, no, they work for each other in exchange for money, which they then-"

"Well, that just sounds like slavery with extra steps." Rick interjected

"Eek barba dirkle, somebody's gonna get laid in college." Zeep said

Morty grabbed Rick's sleeve, "Rick, a word?" He pulled Rick off to the side with Myra. "What the hell was that?"

"I know. 'Eek barba dirkle'? That's a pretty fucked up 'ooh-la-la'." Rick replied

"I think what Morty is referring to is the hot load of irony that just got sprayed in your face," Myra mused

Morty nodded his head, "Yeah, what are you doing telling this guy that his miniverse is unethical? Do you not see the hypocrisy here?"

"Hypocrisy?" Myra got a smile on her face. "Big word for ya Morty and you used it in the right context, I'm proud." She gave a congrats pat on the back to her twin.

"Holy crap. Hypocrisy." Rick got a smile on his face. "Somewhere on this planet, there's got to be an arrogant scientist prick on the verge of microverse technology, which would threaten to make Zeep's flooble cranks obsolete, forcing Zeep to say microverses are bad, at which point he'll realize what a hypocrite he's being, his people will go back to stomping on their gooble boxes, and then we'll all be on ice cream street, baby!" He pretended to hold an ice cream cone. "Eating that mother fucking ice cream! Slurping, slurping, slurping it up."

Morty had a disapproving look on his face while Myra raised an eyebrow putting her hands on her hips. Their judgemental looks cause Rick to stop his ice cream rant.

"Wh-wh-why are you two making those faces?"

Before Morty or Myra could say anything an alien with four eyes and a large mouth appeared scaring the shit out of them.

"Holy fuck!"

The alien reached up tapping something on the side of its neck and its mouth opened revealing Zeep.

"It's me. I've convinced the people of this planet that I'm a traveler from another world."

"You don't think that's over *BURP* doing it a little? I mean, you could achieve the same effect with a pair of-" Rick pointed at his headband then stopped, "-never mind. You know what? I shouldn't be so critical. I'm an alien."

"Places, please. We're about to land." Zeep went back to the controls of the ship.

Just like with Rick's tiny universe the people were gathered around ready to greet the aliens from above. The ship opened and a ramp was quickly lowered out.

"*COUGH* Too fast." Rick rasped

Myra quickly lost interest as Zeep addressed the people in his tiny universe.

"And if you continue to turn your flooble cranks, I will bring you other great alien advancements."

Rick ignored Zeep and turned to what they could only assume was the president of the place. "Hey, uh, let me ask you something."

"Yes?"

"Any of your, uh, scientists working on anything new?" Rick inquired

The President gave Rick an 'Are you stupid look?'. "All of them. That's their job."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, like, energy-wise. Anyone working on, say, a little universe in a box?" Rick coaxed trying to get the answer he was looking for.

A paranoid look washed over the Presidents face. He grabbed Rick pulling him in close. "How do you know about that? It's top secret." He harshly whispered.

Zeep finished his speech and gave the people a peace sign earning a roaring applause.

"I told them this means 'Peace among worlds'. How hilarious is that?" Zeep whispered to the twins.

"Re-really funny, Zeep," Morty replied

"My sides are splitting," Myra said monotonically.

Rick walked up a cocky smirk on his face. "Hey, Zeep, the fake president of your fake world has something fake important to show you."

* * *

Oh, how the irony was so thick right now you could drizzle it on pancakes. The group was now in a third ship in another tiny universe flying over a man-made universe created by a scientist similar to Rick.

"It's not much now, but once I learn to accelerate the temporal field, I'll be able to interact with any sentient life that evolves and introduce them to the wonders of electricity via a pulley-based device I call a blooble yank. But what they won't know is-"

"You'll be taking most of their energy." Zeep finished "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it."

"I*BURP*t's show *BURP* time." Rick quietly gloated.

The ship landed by a ravine and a forest and everyone stepped out.

"You do realize this will make the flooble crank obsolete? This is wrong, Kyle. What you're doing is wrong. You're basically-this is slavery. You're talking about creating a planet of slaves." Zeep demurred

"*BURP* Told you, Zeep." Rick pointed out.

"Oh, they won't be slaves. They'll work for each other and pay each other money." Kyle explained, stating the same things that both Rick and Zeep said.

"That just sounds like slavery with ex...tra...steps." Zeep trailed off as realization finally hit him.

"Ahhh now he finally gets it," Myra said

"Wait a minute." Zeep grabbed the front of Rick's coat, "Did you create my universe? Is my universe a miniverse?"

Rick shoved Zeep off him. "Microverse!"

"Uh, teenyverse." Kyle noted

Zeep grabbed Rick's headband throwing it off.

"You b*st*rd!" Rick yelled taking off Zeep's fake alien head.

"Much obliged," Zeep growled before he tackled Rick. The two rolled around the ground fist fighting.

"What the hell is happening?" Kyle questioned

"This is healthy, trust me," Morty affirmed

"You're my battery, motherfucker!" Rick punched Zeep in the face. "That's all you are. I made you. Your microverse sucks! And your miniverse is the size of a fucking lobster tank! It's whack!"

Kyle looked really confused. "Are they not really aliens?"

"Nope," Myra answered

"They're just a couple of crazy, wacky scientists, you know?" Morty said

Kyle pointed at Rick, "So he made a universe," then he pointed at Zeep, "and that guy is from that universe. And that guy made a universe. And that's the universe where I was born. Where my father died. Where I couldn't make time for his funeral because I was working on my universe." Kyle looked rather depressed at the realization.

"Haha. Yeah. Science, huh? Ain't it a thing. You know, one time, Rick sh-accidentally shot his laser pistol right through my hand. You know, I mean, like, old-lady science, you know? Sh-Sh-She's a real-You got to hang on tight, you know? Because she-she'll- She bucks pretty hard."

As Morty spoke Kyle walked back into his ship.

"Well, I don't think this is gonna end well," Myra said

She was right as the ship flew up and into a cliff exploding on impact.

"Oh, my God, no!" Morty screamed

"Huh? That's not as bad as I thought it was gonna be." Myra stated

"How is this not bad!?" Morty yelled

"Well, I thought he was gonna kill us then himself. Although I did not see him blowing up our only way home," Myra said

Rick and Zeep stopped fighting to walk over and see the carnage.

"Teenyverse." They both mocked

* * *

"This fucking sucks."

Myra and everyone else had been trapped in the tiny universe for weeks, not getting any closer to getting home. Rick, Morty, and Myra had settled in a cave in the side of a mountain and right across from them in an identical cave was Zeep.

The two "geniuses" were so focused on destroying each other that they weren't doing anything that would help get them home.

Rick was working as he held something over a fire concentrating. "Come on, come on, come on." He looked over his shoulder glaring at Zeep. "Pterodactyl!"

Zeep jumps startled and drops whatever he wa holding shattering it. "Asshole! When I get out of this teenyverse, I'm gonna smash it to pieces with you in it."

"Yeah, well, when I get out of this teenyverse, I'm gonna get out of the surrounding miniverse and then the microverse around that, and guess what?"

"Don't make things worse, Rick!" Morty scolded. "Uh, he's not gonna destroy your universe. You know, we-we need it to start our car."

"That's what you used my universe for? To run your car?" Zeep said

"Yeah, but don't flatter yourself. There's always AAA, you fucking cocksucker!" Rick shouted

Zeep glared and turned around grabbing some things.

"What's he doing? What's he crafting? I can craft stuff, too, pal!" Rick shouted turning to his workstation. "Just like I crafted your reality!"

Zeep turned around with a small catapult in his hand and launched a rock at Rick. It flew into the cave smashing Rick's workstation.

"You crafty son of a-!" Rick pulled a crossbow filled with sticks and launched them at Zeep.

"Ow!" Zeep yelled dropping his catapult. "I crafted the guy that created the planet you're standing on!"

"Yeah, and I made the stars that became the carbon in your mother's ovaries!" Rick shouted

"I didn't ask to be born!" Zeep yelled

"All right, that's it! I'm out!" Morty said "I-Im gonna go into the wilderness, and I'm gonna make a new life for myself among the tree people. It can't be worse than this."

"I'm going with Morty. There's no way in hell were getting home with you too bitches measuring your dicks 24/7. Besides Morty might die without me." Myra said following her brother.

"Sure. Okay, you two. Just be back before sundown or the tree people will eat you." Rick said

"That's a myth!" Morty said

"That you fucking started!" Myra said

"W-w-why are you trying to start a myth?" Morty said

"It's a prehistoric planet, M's. Someone has to bring a little culture. And it certainly can't be someone whose entire culture powers my brake lights!"

"Let just get the fuck out of here," Myra said

* * *

"M-Myra how are things coming?" Morty asked approaching his sister.

"Not good Morty….not good. I can't fucking work like this! I've got no raw materials and the ones I do have are shit! I mean literal shit these guys keep bringing me back their own shit when I send them out to get me things. These dumbass tree people won't leave me the fuck alone and some of them keep trying to eat my teleporter. And I swear if another one offers me to eat their baby I'm going to murder someone!" Myra let out a frustrated sigh. "If we're gonna get out of here we're gonna need Rick or Zeep. I don't care who."

"I'll find them. J-Just do what you can." Morty said

* * *

Morty found Zeep and Rick fighting by a stream. He and the tree people natives surrounded the two.

"Kalo kada sha la." Morty removed his mask revealing his face to Rick and Zeep.

"Holy shit. Morty? I haven't seen you in months. You're leading the tree people? Huh. That's a step up." Rick said

"We have no leaders. We follow only the will of the forest." Morty said

"Ooh. Wow. Gaaaaay." Rick said

"That is pretty gay," Zeep said

"You two call yourselves geniuses, but you have spent this time learning nothing. Come with me into the forest. There is something I wish to teach you." Morty led the two deep into the forest where a giant tree resided. "This is ku'ala, the spirit tree. For generations, it has guided the-" When Morty noticed the tree people weren't paying attention he grabbed the front of Rick's coat. "You have to help Myra get us the fuck out of here. These people are backwards savages. They eat every third baby because they think it makes fruit grow bigger. I've lost count on how many times Myra's stabbed one because they tried humping her. Everyone's gross, and they all smell like piss all the time. I m-I miss my family. I miss my laptop. I masturbated to an extra-curvy piece of driftwood the other day! Look, I don't care what it takes. You two are putting aside your bullshit, and you're working together to help Myra finish her transporter to get us back home."

"No can do, Morty. I just can't." Rick said shaking his head.

"I just don't see how I can-"

"Ro ro dah no gah!" Morty shouted pointing at Zeep and Rick.

The two were quickly surrounded by spear-wielding tree people.

"You're smart. You'll figure it out." Morty said

Zeep and Rick were led to Myra's work area. She had part of a transporter built but right now she was beating back a tree person with a stick.

"Get back you motherfucker! I said back the fuck up!" Myra yelled

She gave the tree person a heavy whack to the head knocking it to the ground. It whimpered and scampered off. Myra looked up to see Morty along with Zeep and Rick.

"Good job Morty you brought them. Now we can get the fuck out of here." Myra said tossing away her beating stick.

Rick let out an impressive whistle. "Myra you built this all on your own."

"She's smarter than I thought," Zeep said

"No thanks to you two motherfuckers! You have any idea how hard it was to make this shit by myself! It took me twice as long to get this far since I couldn't actually venture through the forest with my fucking pregnant belly and swollen ankles. I had to send these numb nuts out to get my supplies and half the time they came back with their own shit! Now you two are going to finish this so we can go home or so help me I swear to god I will go primitive apeshit on your asses and show how much damage I can do with a just a rock a and a pointy stick!"

With that in mind Zeep and Rick gotta to work quickly finishing up Myra's transporter.

"All right, not bad," Rick said

"I guess you're an okay proto recombinator." Zeep said

"I've certainly seen worse ionic cell dioxination." Rick said

"If this works, drinks are on me," Zeep said

"If drinks are on you, you're gonna need a second mortgage on that tower. I'm an alcoholic." Rick said

"Opium addict," Zeep said

The two shared a laugh but were interrupted by Morty and Myra.

"Alright, okay, okay, okay, wrap it up," Morty said

"I wanna go the fuck home!" Myra said

The four all place their hands on a crystal powering up the transporter.

Morty turned to the tree people flipping them off. "You guys are the fucking worst! Your gods are a lie! Fuck you, fuck nature, and fuck trees!"

In a flash of purple light, the group was back in Kyle's world.

"Yes! You did it!" Morty cheered

"Yes!"

"Hey, uh, how about that drink?" Rick asked

"Sure," Zeep slowly backed up to the elevator. "I just need to go grab my wallet from inside my ship."

"Oh is your wallet in your ship? That's where the transporter is, too, so why don't we come with?" Rick said

"It's cool." Zeep pressed the up button on the elevator. "I'll be back in a sec."

Rick stuck his foot in the doors opening the elevator back up, "You know how long a second can take in a microverse?"

Zeep kicked Rick out of the elevator and closed the doors.

"Goddamnit!" Myra yelled

"Run, you two! That asshole's willing to risk everything he cares about just to defeat me! He's psychotic!" Rick yelled

The three ran getting to the staircase. "You tow, hop on my back."

"Why?" They both asked grabbing onto Rick.

"Go, go *BURP* Sanchez ski shoes." Rick stomped his foot and skies came out. He launched himself and the twins into the air flying up the staircase.

"Aaaaaah!"

The three shot out of a skylight and landed on Zeep rolling into the ship. Zeep fought to grab Rick but he was still able to get to the transporter and the four were back in Zeep's universe.

"Oh, hey, guys. I just finished cooking us a feast," The President said

"Aaaah!" Rick picked up Zeep's universe and threw it on the floor shattering it.

"Holy-You monster!" Zeep yelled

Rick smirked as he and the twins got in the elevator.

"Whoa. Bad tour." The President said

The three reached the main floor and ran well Rick and Morty ran. Myra was on Rick's back since being pregnant did not make for a fast runner.

"Hey, you got to sign out." A receptionist called out.

"Nothing you do matters!" Rick yelled

"Your existence is a lie!" Myra yelled and the three went back to running.

They made it outside when they heard a loud explosion creating a hole in the building. Zeep jumped out riding a hoverbike.

"You may have created this universe, Rick, but I live in it," Zeep said before driving off.

"Shit!" "Fuck!" Myra and Rick yelled

They took off after Zeep not making much ground on foot.

"What are we gonna do, Rick? We're so screwed. He's gonna get to the ship and smash the microverse, and t-then he's gonna kill us!" Morty cried

"Quick, Morty, you've got to turn into a car," Rick said

"What?!" Morty shouted

"A long time ago, I implanted you with a subdermal chip that could call upon dormant nanobots in your bloodstream to restructure your anatomy and turn you into a car," Rick said

"Oh, my God!" Morty said

"Concentrate, Morty. Concentrate and turn into a car, Morty."

Morty closed his eyes and grunted.

"Never mind. Here's a taxi. Get in. It's fine." Rick said

The three caught up to Zeep who had a cocky smile on his face not seeing the taxi drive up next to him.

"Hey, Zeep."

"Huh?"

"Happy Ricksgiving, biiiiiitch." Rick taunted as the taxi took a turn. "We did it, you two. Now let's get out of here and destroy this whole universe."

"Excuse me?" The driver said

"Turn around you heard nothing!" Myra said

* * *

The three made it back to the ship and slowly walked up the ramp exhausted as it started to rain.

"Rick!"

They turned around to see Zeep standing in the rain clearly injured from his head on collision with the Ricksgiving parade float. Myra, Rick, and Morty just had blank stares, over everything right now.

"Don't do it," Morty said

Rick walked down the ramp taking his coat off. "You quit school, but you still got some learning to do."

The two duked it out, Myra and Morty just watching. The fight ended with Rick punching out Zeep and spitting on his unconscious body.

"Class dismissed."

"Geez," Morty said

* * *

The front hood of the ship opened and out materialized Morty, Myra, and Rick. They got into the cruiser with a now traumatized looking Summer.

"You alright?" Rick asked

"Uh-huh!" Summer shouted with a large smile.

"What are you doing, Rick? I'm pretty sure the battery's dead." Morty said

"Oh, you think so, huh, Morty? Well, let's see." Rick turned the key and the car came to life.

"Hey, wait-huh? I don't get it." Morty said

"Of course you don't. But Zeep did. He knew that once I got back to my car, one of two things was gonna happen. I was gonna have to toss a broken battery, or the battery wouldn't be broken." Rick said

"This is some dark shit," Myra said

"Jesus," Morty said

"Yeah. Listen to that baby purr." Rick sad

Rick flew them to the ice cream shop and they all got triple cones. At this point, Myra didn't care she just wanted to forget about the whole day.

"You were right, Morty. We really just needed to be honest with those guys. All right, here we go." Rick took his ice cream with a smile. "Thank yooou. See? This is what it's all about. This is why we do what we do." He took one lick of his ice cream and spat it out. "Ew! What the hell? Jesus! There's flies in my ice cream."

"Presidential decree. All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs." The Ice cream clerk said

"What the fuck did you do, Summer?!" Rick yelled

"It was your ship! Your stupid ship did it!" Summer yelled back

"Don't blame my ship!" Rick said

"It melted a child!" Summer yelled

"My ship doesn't do anything unless it's told to do something!"

The two continued to argue as the twins sat in silence.

Myra dropped her ice cream cone on the ground. "Worst day ever."


	21. Big Trouble in Little Sanchez

**Big Trouble in Little Sanchez**

"And why the hell am I doing this?" Myra frowned as she gripped a set of knitting needles along with some yarn.

"It's good bonding for you and the baby. I read it in a book." Summer stated

"How the hell is this bonding? The baby isn't even born yet." Myra continued to frown gazing at the "project" in her lap.

"You know you should stop cursing too. Unless you want the baby's first word to be fuck, damn, or hell." Summer noted

"Don't forget shit and bitch." Myra included

Summer rolled her eyes, "Just knit."

* * *

It was time for breakfast in the Smiths house and surprisingly the whole family was together eating.

"What's new at school?" Jerry asked although it was clear he wasn't listening since he was focused on playing a game on his tablet.

"Nothing." Summer and Morty replied

Myra noticing her dad was not paying any attention said, "I built a doomsday device in my physics class."

Jerry just smiled and nodded his head continuing to play on his tablet.

"Oh, uh, one of the lunch ladies died," Morty added. "They found her in the gym with, like, two holes in her neck and all the blood drained out of her."

Beth sat at the table with a cup of coffee. "Good lord! Who does something like that?"

"Obviously a vampire." Rick looked around the table, "W-w-where's the pepper?"

Summer dropped her fork, "Wait, what?! Vampires are real?!"

"Yes, Summer, vampires are real. Who knew? Oh, right, all humanity, for hundreds of years, now." Rick mocked

Morty got a cocky look on his face, "Yeah, Summer, it's a big universe. Get used to it. R-right, Rick?"

Rick looked like he wanted to roll his eyes.

"What about unicorns?" Myra asked

"Oh yeah definitely real. Fuckers are hard to find but once you catch one. You haven't lived until you've had a unicorn steak." Rick said

"Lets back up here, what are we going to do about the vampire?!" Summer yelled

"We're gonna live our lives until we die. Possibly by vampire. More likely auto accident or heart disease, but possibly vampire." Rick said

"Grandpa Rick, couldn't you, like, use your super knowledge to turn yourself into a teenager and come to our school and help us hunt the vampire down?" Summer asked

"Um-wow. Yeah, pretty specific pitch, Summer. I probably could turn myself into a teenager and hang out in the zit-covered, hormone-addled, low-stakes assworld that is high school. But here's my reverse-ask. Why in the fuck would I ever do that, ever? And how dare you even ask me that? And why aren't you more ashamed of yourself?" Rick ranted

Summer, disheartened turned to her father. "Dad!"

Jerry didn't look up from his tablet as he replied to Summer. "Be ashamed of yourself, sweetie."

"Jerry!" Beth shouted. "Do you know what you just said to our daughter?"

"Sorry! I wasn't paying attention." Jerry said

"To a conversation about vampires?!" Beth shouted

"Clearly, I didn't know it was about vampires, because I wasn't paying attention, which you would know, if you ever paid attention to me!" Jerry said

"Oh grow a spine," Myra interjected

"Myra!" Jerry tried to scold.

"Well, she's right. You went right to the victim role." Beth declared

"Am I a victim, Beth, or am I married to a mean, unfair monster that always hurts me and turns my kids against me?!" Jerry yelled

Rick cursed covering his ears. "Jesus Christ! Will you fix your marriage or get a divorce already?"

Beth and Jerry looked ashamed dropping eye contact.

"Well, we tried a couples' therapist," Jerry explained

"That's earth therapy. You might as well ask a horse to fix a merry-go-round. I mean, he'll try his best, but mostly, he's just gonna get horrified. I know about a place off-planet with a 100% success rate." Rick said

"Well, we want to make it work, if we can. It's just-"

Rick cut Beth off by grabbing her arm and pulling her out her seat. "Then it's settled." He grabbed Jerry and dragged the two adults out the room. "No need to pack. Oh! Let's go, go, go, go!"

The kids at the table stayed silent until Morty spoke up.

"Do you think mom and dad are, you know, gonna get a divorce?" Morty asked

Summer pushed her chair out and stood up. "I think it's okay to dream, Morty. I'm gonna go make some wooden stakes."

Morty frowned turning to his twin. "Myra?"

"Lets just put it this way Morty, I call Mom." Myra grabbed her bowl of cereal along with Jerry's untouched breakfast and walked away leaving a frowning Morty.

* * *

"God damn these swollen ankles!"

"You seem stressed."

"Oh, you think!"

Since Myra's parents were gone she allowed Mason to come over. She's been a foul mood for a couple of days now, and he wasn't doing anything to help.

"I've got three professors up my ass. A mopey Morty. A paranoid Summer. Two parents with serious relationship issues. A Rick. Swollen ankles. Weird cravings. My back aches. I've been getting hot flashes and heartburn, and the baby won't stop kicking me." Myra ranted listing off her various issues.

"I know what you need, how about a relaxing spa day?" Mason offered

Myra looked at Mason with a brow raised. She crossed her arms, "I'm listening."

"I know a great couples spa we can go to. We won't even need a reservation." Mason smiled

"Hmmm? Well, it beats staying here getting more pissed." Myra said

"Great. I'll pack you a bag."

Myra went down to the garage to tell whoever was in the house that she was leaving.

"Hey, I'm going on a spa trip." Myra stuck her head into the garage to see Rick, but he was smaller and younger looking. Floating in a jar in the middle of the room was Rick's older body.

"Rick?"

"I'm Tiny Rick!" Rick shouted a large grin splayed on his face.

"Why the-you know what not gonna ask. If Summer or Morty ask where I am I'm out getting pampered and de-stressed." Myra said

Tiny Rick saluted to Myra with a smile. "Can do!"

Myra freaked out by the smiling tiny Rick quickly exited the garage.

* * *

The moment Myra set foot into the spa she was greeted with pampering luxury. She was given a fruity drink along with a soft plush robe to wear.

"Now this is nice."

A group of aliens greeted the two.

"Prince Mason. It's so good to see you. Please allow us to take your luggage." The alien clapped his hands and two aliens grabbed all of Mason's and Myra's things. "Is the future Queen along with the heir?"

Mason nodded his head with a proud smile on his face. "That is right."

"Well, we are delighted to have you both here. I suspect that we'll be seeing you for years to come just like your parents."

"So Mason's parents come here a lot huh?" Myra questioned

Mason stood in the background shaking his head no and waving his arms as the alien spoke.

"Oh yes, the King and Queen often come here to work on their marital qualms."

Mason froze in his silent pleas of "no".

"Marital….qualms?" Myra inquired raising an eyebrow.

"Why yes, after all, we are the best spa and Marriage Counseling in the known universes. With a 100% success rate."

"I see…would you mind leaving me and the young Prince alone for a few minutes?" Myra said through gritted teeth.

"Of course." The alien bowed before walking away.

Mason felt a cold chill run down his spine as he slowly looked at Myra. If looks could kill.

"Did you fucking bring me to a couples counseling retreat? Is there something you'd like to say." Myra practically growled out.

Mason put his hands up in defense. "I-I promise you we aren't here for the counseling were just here for the spa."

Myra narrows her eyes. "It better be, because if one asshole tries to say some shit to me like 'You should respond to your partner not react.' or 'It doesn't matter how compatible you are if you can't work through your incompatibilities.' I'll disembowel them, then I'm coming for you. Got it."

Mason nodded his head. He stares at the scantily clad fuming Myra and a serious look washes over his face. "Myra there's just one thing I have to say though."

"What!" Myra bites back.

"Although you're truly terrifying right now….My attractiveness for you has skyrocketed." Mason declared

Myra's face gets hot, and she turns away from Mason. "Shut up! Just take me somewhere where I can get a massage!"

"I can massage you, my Queen."

"I said shut the fuck up!"

* * *

"God almighty I don't think I've been this relaxed in years." Myra let out a relaxed sigh.

"Couldn't agree more my Queen."

Mason and Myra sat in a Jacuzzi spa tub full to the brim with bubbles. Mason sat behind Myra pulling her closer, so she rested on his bare chest. The two sunk deeper into the warm water letting their muscles unwind.

Myra heard a buzzing noise. She peeked over the side of the tub seeing her phone vibrate. She picked it up seeing Summer was calling.

"Nope." With a relaxed smile, she let phone got to voicemail and tossed it somewhere. "I could get used to this."

Mason hummed wrapping his arms around Myra's stomach resting his palms on her swollen stomach. He felt something press up against his hand as he heard Myra wince.

"What was that?" Mason asked

"The little devil inside me is kicking. In fact, he's been kicking the shit out of me since he discovered he had legs." Myra explained

"How do you know it's a boy?" Mason asked

"I just know. Call it women's intuition or some crap like that." Myra said

Mason just nodded his head keeping his hands on Myra's stomach as he continued to feel the baby kick.

Myra slowly felt herself drifting off to sleep her eyes were closing but before she could fully close them they snapped open when an alarm went off.

"What the hell!?"

Myra sat up as the lights cut off and an emergency red light came on as an alarm blared.

"That's not good," Mason said

He got out of the Jacuzzi helping Myra out too.

There were loud crashing noises followed by some screaming.

"What is going on?" Myra questioned

Mason grabbed a towel wrapping it around his waist. "Stay right here. I'll go check."

Mason walked out the door and Myra called out. "You know that's what people say before they die in horror movies." Myra grabbed a robe putting it on before following Mason.

* * *

"Holy shit. What the hell happened to this place?"

The spa had been destroyed. Dead bodies littered the area, small fires were lit, there was even large claw marks on the metal walls.

"It looks like one of the mythologizations have escaped," Mason said

"And those are?" Myra questioned

"Their like avatars made to represent couples representations of their partners. They're very volatile and very dangerous. For one to escape the facility means well this." Mason pointed out gesturing to the dead bodies.

"Then let's get the hell out of here," Myra said

"Do you have your portal gun?" Mason asked

"Shit. It's in our room with all our stuff." Myra cursed

"Okay. We make our way to the room grab your portal gun then get home. Stay behind me." Mason ordered

"But-"

"Stay. Behind. Me." Mason ordered again with a more assertive tone.

Myra for some reason felt herself flush with Mason's authoritative tone, she liked it.

Following his orders, Myra stayed behind Mason as he led her through the wrecked hallways.

"Damn whatever this thing was it had no mercy," Myra said looking at all the destruction and dead bodies.

* * *

"Somethings coming." Mason pushed Myra behind him as something came into the hallway.

"It looks like….my dad?" Myra said

A giant worm-shaped creature with Jerry's face appeared before the teens.

"It kind of does," Mason said

The worm-like Jerry smiled and slithered up heading for Myra. Mason let out a growl hissing at it as he stood in front of Myra.

Worm Jerry pulled back and covered his eye cowering and sniveling looking rather pathetic.

"Huh, it even acts like my dad," Myra observed the creature the dots connecting in her mind. "Mason, you said this place makes avatar like creatures that represent couples images of themselves right."

"Yeah." Mason nodded

"And this one acts like my dad. God damn it! My parents are here!" Myra shouted

"Wait what?!"

"Rick took my parents to a couples counseling retreat. This place! If my dad's mythologization thing is running around then that means-"

"Wait do you think your father's mythologization caused all this carnage?" Mason asked

"No! With his lack of backbone, I'm surprised that he can even squash an ant. No, this is the work of-"

*ROAR*

A large shadow appeared around the corner as a screeching roar echoed through the building.

"Shit! Fucking run!" Myra yelled

Mason scooped Myra up bridal style and started to run leaving the whimpering mythologization Jerry.

* * *

Another roar rocked the corridor as large heavy footsteps school the area.

"What the hell is that!?" Mason shouted

"Isn't it obvious it's my mother's mythologization! My mother sees my dad as a feeble little worm while my father sees my mother as a raging demonic creature!" Myra told Mason.

"She's closing in." Mason set Myra down.

"What the hell are you doing?" Myra questioned

"Listen I'll distract her you make a run for our room and get the portal gun and get the hell out of here!" Mason directed

"But what about y-?"

Mason cut Myra off by grabbing her face and crushing his lips onto hers. When he pulled away he turned Myra around and pushed her forward.

"Run!"

Myra gave Mason a glance back before leaving.

* * *

Mason stood his ground coming face to face with his future Mother in law's mythologization. In some ways, he saw his own mother.

"Hey, Mrs. Smith's mythologization. You may not know me but I'm Mason, and I am-!"

Mythologization Beth let out a roar and swatted a clawed hand at Mason. The alien prince went into a backbend ducking.

"Okay, then it seems like talking won't work. Guess its plan two!"

Mason let out a thunderous roar as he transformed into his second form. He launched himself at Mythologization Beth and the two were interlocked in a battle. He pushed her back slamming her into a wall. Mythologization Beth tried to push back but Mason held strong keeping her pinned to the wall. Mythologization Beth retaliated by sinking her teeth into his arm. He let out a howl as her fangs tore into his flesh. He tried to shake her off, but she just dug her sharp fangs deeper into his arm. He countered letting out a fire blast from his mouth. Mythologization Beth pulled back grabbing at her face. Mason turned back into his normal form and used the distraction to run.

"I know not everyone gets along with their in-laws but this is ridiculous!"

Mythologization Beth let out a roar as Mason escaped his arm starting to heal but still bleeding heavily. "Damn this stings."

Mason hid behind a wall and Mythologization Beth stomped by going past him. Mason made sure the danger had passed before sliding down against the wall as his adrenaline died down.

He grabbed onto his bleeding arm. "This is gonna take a little longer than normal to heal. I should stop the bleeding."

Mason looked around for something to tie up his arm but all he saw was dead bodies and rubble. He looked down at his lap and sighed.

Mason removed his towel and tore it up to wrapping up his bleeding arm. He flexed his arm to make sure that the makeshift bandage was secure. When he was good to go he stood up. "Now time to find Myra."

Mason shoved off running around the corner of a corridor slamming right into another body.

* * *

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!"

Myra chanted over and over again as she booked it down the hallway the best she could with her enlarged stomach. Not only did she have to worry about her Mother's Monster mythologization eating her man, but she also had to worry about the possibility of running into her real parents. Myra stopped for a second panting hunched over, she put a hand on a knee and her other hand on the wall.

"Running i-is becoming s-so much harder with a baby."

Mason staggered back catching himself from falling.

"Please don't kill me!"

Jerry was cowering on the ground the covering his face as fresh tears dripped down his cheeks.

"Please, I don't taste well! I'm all skin and bones."

Mason raised a brow as Jerry continued to grovel. Watching his father-in-law to be, Mason couldn't help but think about all the things Myra had said about her father. Now watching him blubber on the floor made Mason realize Myra was not exaggerating one bit.

"I'm not going to eat you," Mason droned

Jerry sniffled opening his eyes. "Y-Your not?"

"No. I'm a guy who came here with my woman just like you."

Jerry got off the ground wiping his nose and drying his tears. "Oh, so you were here for marriage counseling too?"

Mason wanted to scoff at that. "We aren't married….yet. But our relationship is solid as a rock."

"Well you're young right now aaaaannnnddd you're naked," Jerry said finally noticing Mason's lack of clothing.

"You are just noticing that," Mason stated

"Yeah…." Jerry's eyes were big as he stared at Mason. How could he have missed that? "It's uhh….wow….."

Mason had a proud smirk. "Yeah its pretty amazing."

There was a whimpering noise and Jerry's mythologization slithered down the hallway towards them.

"He's coming!" Jerry screamed running off.

Mason rolled his eyes letting out a sigh watching the man run screaming like a baby. With no other option, Mason followed after the man.

* * *

"We're gonna die! I just know it! That thing is gonna get us and-!"

Mason growled grabbing the front of Jerry's shirt then smacks the man. Now he knows why Myra gets so annoyed about her father, the man was irritating and had no backbone, no guts, or any form of courage. Myra must get her attitude from her mother.

"Pull it together! Where the hell are your balls!" Mason yelled

"I-I have balls…" Jerry sobbed out.

"Well right now I can't tell! You wanna know why my relationship is better than yours?!" Mason yelled

"W-Why?"

"Because when its time to act like a man I act like a man. Women don't want sobbing little babies! They want a man! You're a man aren't you!"

"Y-Yeah…."

"Then act like it damn it!" Mason shouted

"Y-yeah. Yeah! You're right! I'm a damn man!" Jerry stood up straighter with a stronger stance.

For a second Mason saw a little hope for the man, but then Jerry's mythologization appeared. All confidence flew out the window and Jerry let out a cry hiding behind Mason, using the teen as a shield.

Mason deadpanned done with Jerry. He simply took a large step to the left leaving the man exposed to his mythologization. Jerry cried out as his mythologization got closer.

"Get back!"

Mythologization Jerry turned around showing its rear end to Jerry like an animal that exposes its belly to show it vulnerable and no threat. Mythologization Jerry continued to wiggle its butt in its submissive position letting out a small fart. Jerry watched Beth's representation of himself with an offended look.

"Wait, for real? You're how Beth sees me? Oh, my God. Turn around! I said turn around!" Mythologization Jerry let out a whimper turning back around. "How can Beth have these thoughts about me?! That judgmental monster bitch! I'm not taking this."

"Oh, so you've found your balls." Mason teased.

"Yes, I have!" Jerry declared. He pointed at his mythologization. "I want to know where my wife is. You are going to help me." Mythologization Jerry responded by exposing its bottom again.

"No! Nobody's doing that!"

Mason watched Jerry run off with his mythologization.

A portal opened up next to Mason and Myra stepped out.

"You're safe!" Mason smiled

"Yeah, yeah. I'm glad you are too but right now let's get the fuck out of here!"

Mason scooped Myra up and ran into the portal.

* * *

"What in the hell…." Myra, who was still in Mason's arms gaped at the scene before her.

Rick was in the middle of the garage naked holding an ax covered in blood as he chopped up what looked like various clones of himself.

Standing in the corner of the garage stunned was Morty and Summer.

"Grandpa's back, baby!" Rick shouted destroying his clones.

"What happened?" Myra asked

"Tiny Rick." Summer and Morty replied

"Grandpa's back! Grandpa-!" Rick was cut off when his phone buzzed. "Oh, man, I gotta pick up your parents. They have been blowin' me up. One last swing for the road!" Rick swung his ax down making Morty and Summer yell and scream.

"For the love of God, get dressed!" Summer yelled

Rick walked out the garage looking rather calm after all the bloodshed.

"This had been a long fucking day." Myra groaned out.

Summer looked over at her sister and Mason and let out another shout covering her eyes. "Pants! What is with you males and the lack of clothing!"

"Oh jeez!" Morty moaned covering his eyes too.

"Come on Mason. Take me to my room. We gotta send you home before my parents get back."


	22. Interdimensional Cable 2

**Interdimensional Cable 2**

Why Myra thought she was going to have a normal day today completely boggled her mind. When has she ever had a normal day with Rick in her life? Right now she was doing her best to keep up with her family and father the latter of the two who was being rushed through an alien hospital on a gurney. She had no idea what happened to him, but Rick has warned Jerry time and time again to not touch his food.

Well on the brighter side of things this was the hospital where Myra's next ultrasound was scheduled. She couldn't go back to the doctors on earth after the nurse fainted seeing her baby in the womb was growing a tail.

"Don't worry about Jerry. He's gonna be fine." Rick bent over Jerry, "You hear me, Jerry? You're gonna be fine."

Jerry rolled to his side and barfed on the floor right at Morty's feet.

"Whoa!"

Rick winced, "Ooh, watch out for that stuff. It'll stain if it gets on your clothes, and it'll send you into a murderous rage if it gets in your eyes and mouth."

"Why would you keep mutant bacteria in a pint of cherry Garcia?" Beth yelled at her father.

"I know this isn't the time, but, you know, technically, the second freezer drawer is mine," Rick stated

"Not anymore," Beth said

"You're overreacting!" Rick shouted

There as a loud beeping and a nurse put a stethoscope to Jerry's chest. "We're losing him."

Rick threw his hands up. "All right, fine, but you're not touching my crisper."

"Is he going to die?" Summer shouted

The nurse gave Summer a comforting smile. "Don't worry. Dr. Glip Glop is the best in the galaxy."

A door slid open and a tall alien with three eyes dressed in scrubs stepped out. "Hello, I'm Dr. Glip Glop."

Jerry sprung up vomiting all over the doctor. Glip Glop's eyes became bloodshot, and he screamed. He went into a murderous rage, just as Rick had said, and lunged at the group.

"Oh, my God! Oh, my God!"

Rick pulled out a ray gun shooting the Doctor vaporizing him.

Beth had a scowl on her face staring at her father.

"W-*BURP*-What? Every hospital claims to have the best doctor in the ga-*BURP*-laxy. It's like those Pizza places that claim to have the best Pizza in the world. What do you think, they have Pizza contests? Have you ever been to a Pizza contest?" Rick ranted

"Go in the waiting room, Dad," Beth ordered pointing.

"Fine!" Rick huffed walking off with his grandkids. They entered the waiting room as Rick pushed through other patients and guest. "Excuse me. Coming through. What are you here for? Just kidding. I don't care."

The four find some seats in the front of the waiting room right in front of the television.

"Well, this won't do." Rick picks up the cable box smashing it on the ground.

"Hey, what are you doing?" A Doctor shouted walking up.

Rick pulled out a crystal putting it in the cable box. "A sequel." He answered

"I don't understand." The Doctor responded confused

"Yeah, me, neither. We pretty much nailed it the first time." Rick hit the television and the interdimensional cable came on.

* * *

Rick flipped through the channels trying to find something. What looked like a wrestling show came on.

" _Man vs. Car, the newest hit show, where it puts a man...Versus a car."_

"Well, this is gonna end predictably," Myra muttered

" _On tonight's episode, Michael Jenkins fights a regular old car. Here we go."_

A man with a green Mohawk was in a pit with a hatchback car. He pushed against the car slamming on the hood but it does nothing.

" _Oh, he's pushing his way through. He's trying to fight that car, but the car seems to have the upper hand. Oh, he's got a little bit of pushback there."_

The fight only lasts a few more seconds before the car drives on top of the man tearing his body apart, leaving a bloody mess in the pit.

" _Oh, no. He just got ran over and chewed up by the tires. I guess that's another one for the cars. Haha, I mean, wouldn't the cars always win?"_

Myra stood up. "I'm gonna go sign in."

She walked over to the help desk signing in. It'd been awhile but its not like she was in any rush. When she sat back down a commercial had come on the television.

Two aliens were sitting on a couch, their eyes were obscured by these flaps that seemed to be oozing some green goo.

" _Samantha, I need to know, that you understand that I have a couple of eyeholes."_ The alien man ripped the flaps off his eyes revealing two eyeholes embed in his face.

" _I do. I do understand about your eyeholes. Here, look at my eyeholes."_ The woman smiled ripping her flaps off revealing several eyeholes.

" _Oh, my God. You have eight eye ho-holes."_ The man pulled the woman close so their eyeholes where touching and it appeared that the eyeholes were making out with each other. " _Ohh, I'm looking through your eyeholes._

" _Yes, look through my eyeholes."_

As the two continued their "intimate" moment, a helicopter flew overhead. A blue figured dressed like a superhero crashed through the skylight surprising the two aliens. He was holding a megaphone and started shouting at the two.

" _I'm the Eyehole Man. I'm the only one that's allowed to have eye holes."_ He kicked the two in the face knocking their eyeholes out their heads. " _Get up on out of here with my eyeholes."_

" _Eyeholes. Get them today. IKEA…"_

"You got to be careful, Morty. If that guy catches you with a box of his eyeholes, he comes bursting in through a window and just starts kicking the shit out of you. But it's worth the risk. They melt in your mouth. They're delicious." Rick explained

"That they are." Myra mused agreeing with Rick.

A worried Beth walked into the waiting room sitting next to Summer. "Dad, I can't believe you're explaining alien cereal. We're worried about Jerry."

"Well, you're 39 years too late, or, you know, however old he is. Is he-is he 50? Jesus Christ, Beth, is-is Jerry 50?" Rick said

"How many candles were on his last birthday cake?" Myra questioned

Summer, Morty, and Beth all looked at each other actually not knowing the answer to the question.

* * *

Myra was busy texting Mason on her phone. He said he was coming to the hospital for a visit. He was going to visit her and join her for her ultrasound but that actually wasn't the first reason he was coming to the hospital. The reason why he was coming to the hospital in the first place was because a relative of his was there about to get life-saving surgery. He said his relative was a very important person in the known universe and that since Myra was going to be there he'd hope the two could meet. He said they'd get along well.

Feeling nice and in a good mood, Myra agreed on the condition that Mason avoided her parents.

Rick was laughing at the Television but stopped. "Hey, w-what's wrong, Morty? Oh, you're worried about your dad, huh?"

"Huh? Oh, no, no, no. I'm just-I'm just looking at that lady over there getting coffee." Morty pointed over at the coffee machine towards a woman. "What's up with her face? Is she human, or is she like worf? You know, worf from 'Star Trek,' how he has all that shit all over his face, but he's just a human in a costume, you know?"

"Morty, uh, let's see what else is on, huh?" Rick turned the channel.

"Okay." Morty agreed

A new show came on with a show host standing in front of a monitor covered in question marks. " _And now we're back to How did I get here? The only show that makes you ask yourself, 'how did I get here?' Haha. Here's our first person."_

The screen changed to the woman who had previously been getting coffee from the machine across from them. She was standing on a light pole over a busy street.

" _Oh. Oh, my God. How did I get here? Hello?! How did I get here?! Somebody, help me, please!"_

" _Hahah! All right!"_

"Holy crap!" Morty pointed at the TV, "Look, it's that lady with the shit on her face like worf from 'Star Trek' that was getting coffee! How did she get there?!"

"Oh, my God, Morty, how did she get there?" Rick said

" _How did she get there?"_ The Show Host got close to the camera winking at the screen.

"Is that something we should be concerned about?" Beth questioned

"Just stay away from the coffee machine," Rick stated before turning the channel.

" _Calling all jan Michael Vincents. Calling all jan Michael Vincents. In a world where there's eight jan Michael Vincents. We need one jan Michael Vincent to quadrant 'c.' We need two jan Michael Vincents to quadrant 'e.' and 16 quadrants, there's only enough time for a jan Michael Vincent to make it to a quadrant. He can't be at two quadrants at once."_

Hey, Rick, wh-who is jan Michael Vincent?" Morty asked

Rick rubbed his chin trying to remember himself. "Oh, man. I'm trying to remember, Morty."

" _Jan Michael Vincents are used up. I need a goddamn jan Michael Vincent."_

"Is it important that we know who jan Michael Vincent was in order to get this?" Morty asked

"Nope." Rick answered

" _I-I refuse to send the legislation that allows more than eight jan Michael Vincents to a precinct. This jan-uary, it's time to Michael down your Vincents. 'Jan quadrant Vincent 16.'"_

"Whoa!" Morty gasped

"Whoa! That's jan Michaels." Rick said

Morty put his hand up. "Excuse me, nurse, can you take my temperature because I think I have jan quadrant Vincent fever over here."

Rick laughed nudging Morty's shoulder. "All right, Morty! You've done it."

* * *

A short yellow alien was a television. He had long thin arms and was dressed in cargo gear.

" _Hey, I'm Stealy. Follow me on my adventure through this office."_ Stealy walked into an office building going into someone's office room. " _All right, here we go. We're gonna just steal a couple of things."_ He started grabbing things stuffing them into his cargo pockets.

" _Excuse me. Can I help you?"_ The man in the room questioned.

He continued to stuff more things into his pockets ignoring the man. " _Starting with common office objects."_

The man shouted standing up from his desk, " _Hey, hey, hey! That's my stuff!"_

" _Such as staplers and pins and all sorts of things like...such as that."_

The man picked up his phone, " _That's it. I'm calling security."_

Stealy pulled a cloth and covered the man's mouth and nose.

" _No!"_

The man passed out and Stealy set him down on his chair. Then Stealy stole the man too. He walked down the street carrying the passed out man over his shoulder, the pedestrians around him acting as if this was a normal occurrence.

Stealy then went into a closed room that was lined with shelves and the shelves were filled to the brim with random things.

" _Alright, okay, now we're in the quiet safe room where none of the people whose stuff I stole can get to us. Now, let's look at all the stuff we got. We got a bag of bobbish. That's eight brapples. We got a plumbus. That's 61/2 brapples. We got, uh, a...crushed red party cups. 151/2 brapples."_

The channel changed to a man on a stage holding a microphone. " _Welcome back to 'funny songs.' It's all improvised. It's very funny. I need a volunteer from the audience."_

A man was picked from the audience and given a microphone. " _Um, longtime fan of the show. Uh...what do you do? What's your profession? I am a tax attorney-"_

The host cut the guy off, " _The Okay, here we go. Hit-hit the music."_ The host started singing a terrible song in a lazy tone. He ended the song will a little spin on stage. " _The end."_

The audience member laughed, " _Oh, my God. Oh, that was so, so funny. Thank you."_

" _You're welcome. Hey, um, security guards, take him out."_ The Host called out. " _Get him out of here."_

The man yelled as two buff men grabbed him.

" _Get the orthodontist out of here."_

" _No! Why?"_ The man screamed as a guard shoved him back then punched him in the face.

The Host kept a lazy smile as the audience member was assaulted. " _Take him out of the audience. Kill him."_ Wolves appeared on screen going after the man. " _Sic him."_ Then demons appear. " _Demons...Suck his life out. I don't give a shit."_

A Doctor stepped forward in front of the Smith family. "Smith family?"

"Yes?" Beth shot out of her chair standing up quickly.

The Doctor smiled as he held up a medical chart. "I wanted to let you all know that Jerry is doing just fine."

Everyone cheered hearing the good news.

"Yay!"

"Called it! Yes!"

"Whoo-hoo!"

"That's good news!"

The Doctor looks directly at Beth. "But, uh, Mrs. Smith, could you come with me?"

Beth raises an eyebrow but follows the doctor back. With Beth gone the family went back to watching interdimensional cable.

A commercial came on for a restaurant. The owner promoting the restaurant had a large round head and so did everyone else in the commercial.

" _Hey, listen, is your mouth tiny and small? Then why don't you come to Lil' bits…"_

" _Lil' bits~!"_

The owner walked around the restaurant showing various foods that were bite-sized. " _Where the food is tiny. It looks like regular food, but really tiny. You can put it in your mouth and eat it. Nothing gets stuck in your lips. It's just tiny and tiny and fits right-fits right in."_

" _Lil' bits~!"_

The owner continued to walk around the restaurant invading the personal space of the eating customers _. "We got tiny lasagna, tiny Pizza, tiny pie. Mmm! Little, tiny fried eggs. Oh, shit. We got tiny people."_

" _Lil' bits~!"_

The owner then appeared in the bathroom looking over a bathroom stall watching a man use the urinal. " _Eat some fucking shit, you fucking stupid bitch."_ He laughed rubbing the guy using the urinals head. " _Just kidding."_

"Myra. Myra Smith. The doctor will see you know."

Myra stood up in her seat. "Whelp that's me."

"W-where are you going?" Morty asked

"She's going for her ultrasound." Summer answered not looking up from her phone.

"How do you know that?" Morty asked

"She told us." Summer replied

"Thank you, Summer. It's nice to know that at least someone-" Myra sent a pointed look at Morty making her twin sink a little into his seat, "-pays attention to what I say. Mason's gonna be here soon, so he'll be joining me. If mom or dad come by I'm off doing I don't know doing Myra things. I'll get you all prints of the ultrasound picture."

"Don't care." Rick sounded as he flipped through channels.

"I know you don't," Myra replied walking away.

Myra was propped up on the medical bed her legs in stirrups as the alien Doctor examined her.

"We'll Miss Smith everything seems to be good. You're having normal symptoms and the baby doesn't seem to be causing you any harm."

"Okay, good but one problem I was supposed to give birth about two weeks ago and nothing," Myra said

The Doctor gave a slight chuckle. "Well yes that is true but your human. Meaning your child is half human. The time of pregnancy has been lengthened due to your species pregnancy terms."

"Then how long am I supposed to be pregnant?" Myra asked

"Oh, I'd say about a total of 34 weeks."

"34 weeks!" Myra screeched. "That's eight months! I might as well have been pregnant for the total nine!" Myra let out an exasperated groan flopping her head back on the bed.

The Doctor just gave the teen a comforting smile patting her shoulder. "Now then shall we start the ultrasound."

"Actually I'm waiting-"

"Myra!" Mason shouted kicking the door open.

"For him." Myra finished

"Am I too late?" Mason asked running over to Myra's side.

"No. We were just about to start. Jeez, you're acting like I'm having the baby right now." Myra said

"My apologies, but I am excited I was unable to attend all your other appointments. I also asked my great-uncle to come join us, so he should be here to see his little niece or nephew." Mason explained

"Whatever. Let's just get this show on the roll Doc." Myra said

Myra pulled up her shirt revealing her pregnant belly. The Doctor pulled out what looked like to Myra a bar code reader you'd see at the checkout line in grocery stores.

"What the hell is that?" Myra questioned pointing at the object.

"This is what we'll use to see the baby."

"Uh-huh," Myra said

The Doctor chuckled. "You must be used to your primitive earth ultrasound. Don't worry this way is much quicker and simpler. I'll just give a quick swipe across the stomach, and we'll be able to see your baby."

Myra shrugged her shoulders. "Okay then."

The doctor took the scanner and put it on the far left her stomach swiping it to the right. There was beeping sound and an image appeared on the screen.

"There you go and there is your baby."

The baby was actually a baby. Myra's previous ultrasounds just showed misshapen forms since the baby hadn't fully formed yet, but now here it was curled up resting in Myra's stomach.

Staring at the picture Myra felt her heart squeeze just a little. This was her baby, growing inside her. She was making life. For the first time since she found out she was pregnant, she actually felt the feeling that only expecting mothers could experience.

"Myra, are you crying?" Mason asked

"What? No." Myra answered

Mason reached over wiping her cheek catching a lone stray tear that was rolling down her face.

"Its normal for expecting mothers to get emotional when they first see the baby as a whole." The Doctor said

"I'm not emotional nor was I crying." Myra sternly stated.

"Would you like to know the sex?" The Doctor asked

"Yes." The young expecting parents simultaneously answered.

"Alright." The Doctor shifted the image around. "Right there and you two are having a healthy baby boy."

"Told you it was a boy," Myra smirked

"And you are always alright." Mason smiled back.

"A healthy young prince what more could an old soul ask for." A new voice said

"Uncle Pibbles!" Mason greeted happily.

An older alien was being wheeled into the room. His appearance actually reminded Myra of a dinosaur she had seen once in an old child's book.

Mason went up behind Shrimply Pibbles taking his wheelchair and wheeling him up to Myra's bedside. "Myra this is my Uncle Shrimply Pibbles, he's my mother's cousin, but they were raised like brother and sister. Uncle Pibbles, this is my lovely Myra."

Shrimply Pibbles held his hand out grasping it with Myra's. "It's very nice to meet you, young lady. My nephew here has told me many great things about you."

"Good to meet you too, but I wish I could say the same things about you, but Mason's told me jack squat about you," Myra said

Shrimply Pibbles chuckles at that. "How are you and the little one faring?"

"Oh, he's doing fine keeping me up all night kicking the hell out of me and causing me heartburn plus weird cravings," Myra answered

Shrimply Pibbles lets out a laugh wheezing slightly.

Mason smiled watching the two. "Didn't I tell you she was amazing."

"That she is. It's so nice to see the youth are still so lively." Shrimply Pibbles smiled

The two continued to converse and Mason watched happy to see the two getting along so nicely. The Doctor went off going to print out Myra's ultrasound pictures. As Myra and Shrimply Pibbles's continued to hold an interesting conversation the door to Myra's room was thrown open.

"Hey! Who the hell are you!?" Myra yelled

"Sir Shrimply Pibbles there you are!'

Several people filed into Myra's room, including two doctors, a nurse, and some aliens dressed like ambassadors.

"Hey! Hey! Who the hell are you, people!?" Myra shouted.

Myra was ignored as a Doctor ran up to Shrimply Pibbles. "Sir you shouldn't be up and about."

Shrimply Pibbles just smiled. "If I die today I wanted to meet the young woman who will be running my sister's kingdom one day."

Shrimply Pibbles's words made everyone turned their focus towards Myra.

"Finally you people notice me. Now, what the hell is going on here?" Myra questioned

A large alien that resembled an ape dressed as an ambassador stepped forward. "You risked your life coming here to visit some-some," The alien gestured to Myra trying to find the right word to call her.

"If you value your life I dare you to finish that sentence." Myra challenged the alien. "I may be pregnant and strapped into stirrups but I still know several dozen ways to cause you bodily harm without moving from the awkward position I'm in." She narrowed her eyes emphasizing she was serious about her words.

Mason smirked loving this side of Myra. "She's not joking you know."

The Ambassador looked apprehensive and took a step back pushing another person in front of his view of Myra.

"Now will someone please tell me what all the commotion is about and why you people all felt the need to barge into my room?" Myra asked

One of the doctors had explained Shrimply Pibbles's situation. He was getting a transplant, a new heart that was going to be made from another species genitalia.

"Wait wait wait!" Myra waved her hands shaking her head getting everyone's attention. "You're replacing this guy's heart with a makeshift heart from some guys reproductive organs."

"Yes."

"Well, how do you know that would work? I mean how do you know that this guy's junk is even strong enough to perform the vital functions that a heart does."

"Well, we-"

"Have you done this procedure before?" Myra asked

"No, but-"

"Then how do you know Shrimply Pibbles body won't reject this ramshackled heart. I mean it'd be different if you were doing a kidney transplant, but you're doing a heart transplant, from a makeshift heart, between two different species."

"We know but-"

"Why don't you guys just use a mechanical synthetic heart?" Myra questioned

"That would be ideal for Shrimply Pibbles, but we don't have the proper resources to design let alone construct such a heart."

"What the hell? You guys are one of the most advanced hospitals in the goddamn galaxy and you don't have the proper resources to make the thing?" Myra stuck her hand out. "Give me your tablet."

"Why would we-?"

"I said give me the damn tablet." Myra demand

Mason smirked crossing his arms. "You heard the lady."

"Let young Myra have watch she asks for." Shrimply Pibbles said

With that said Myra was handed the tablet. She pulled out a tablet pen and started to get to work. Her hands moved quickly across the screen as her brain worked just as fast. After about 25 minutes Myra was done. She pressed a button on the tablet and a hologram came up for everyone to see.

"Here we go one synthetic artificial heart," Myra smirked proudly.

"Incredible." The doctor gasped analyzing Myra's blueprints. "It's absolutely perfect."

"Yup." Myra crossed her arms. "And if you use the materials listed the thing will last the rest of Shrimply Pibbles life."

"How were you able to design such an advanced and superb heart in such a minuscule amount of time?"

"Cause I'm a fucking genius," Myra answered

"Young lady, can you make this heart?"

"Of course I can," Myra replied

"This is excellent since the earthling Jerry Smith was worming his way out of donating his penis." One of the Ambassadors said

"Wait whose penis now?" Myra said

"Inform everyone of the news and get Shrimply Pibbles prepped for surgery." A Doctor ordered

Shrimply Pibbles smiled patting one of Myra's hands. "Thank you young Myra. I know my sister's kingdom will be in goods with you as Queen."

"Did he just say Jerry's Smith's penis?" Myra questioned not tuning in to the conversations happening around her.

Everyone filed out the room leaving a confused Myra and Mason.

"Okay, did I hallucinate them saying they were gonna cut off my Dad's penis?" Myra asked

"No that happened," Mason said

"Okay then."

A nurse walked by a door pushing a cart, but he jumped startled when a loud female laugh sounded from the room. The nurse recollected himself as the female continued to let out a boisterous laugh.

* * *

Right now on the other side of the hospital far away from Myra's hysterical laughing was Beth and Jerry, the later not having as much fun as his young daughter. Right now the middle-aged man was being booed on stage after trying to get out of giving up his physical manhood by trying to make Shrimply Pibbles appear to be a heroin addict. The plan completely backfired and now security was gathered trying to calm down the outraged crowd.

"If you could all just stop screaming and chanting and making whatever that gesture means!" Jerry pleaded.

"Excuse me." Jerry was pushed away from the podium by Shrimply Pibbles's diplomats.

"Come on. Please, everyone," He said calming down the crowd. "I have news about Shrimply Pibbles. Word of Jerry Smith trying to weasel out of his penis donation has spread across the galaxy. But fret not a young incredible intellectual lady has come forth and created a brand-new, state-of-the-art synthetic heart that will be even better than Mr. Smith's pathetic penis."

"Wait!" Jerry shouted pointing at the ambassador. "That was an option the whole time?! You guys suck!"

"Yeah. We suck." The ambassador sounded. "Are you still here?"

"Okay, Jerry. Let's head home." Beth said

"I can't leave now. Everyone hates me." Jerry cried

"Unfortunately, there's no surgical procedure that can fix that," Beth stated before walking off.

"Or is there?" Jerry smirked

* * *

"Hey, my annoying family members I'm back with pics of the thing growing in me." Myra gave a smile walking back to her family.

"Oh oh let me see!" Summer beamed jumping up.

"Look it's gonna be a boy." Myra gushed in an un-Myra like fashion.

The two sisters chatted over the ultrasound picture, until Beth showed up holding a catalog in her hands. Myra quickly snatched the picture out of Summer's hand stuffing it in her pocket.

"Okay, guys, let's go home," Beth announced

"Where's dad?" Summer asked looking around.

The television suddenly changed channel as a breaking news story came on.

"Breaking news. Shrimply Pibbles is being held hostage by the human known as Jerry Smith." "Remove my penis!" Jerry yelled on screen.

Summer and Beth gasped while Morty shouted "Holy crap!".

Myra just lets out a sigh slapping her forehead.

Rick was calm addressing the situation. "It's cool. It's fine. It's got to be from an alternate reality, right?"

Several security officers ran by.

"Are you sure?" Summer questioned

"I don't know." Rick shrugged his shoulders not really caring.

Summer, Beth, and Myra book it to the operating room where Jerry is being held up at gunpoint. But the man didn't seem to care as he held the doctors up at gunpoint demanding they cut off his penis.

"Do it! Do it! Remove my penis!" Jerry shouted

"Sir, put the gun down and step away from Mr. pibbles!" A Guard yelled

"Jerry!" Beth yelled

"Dad, what are you doing?!" Summer shouted

"Come on Dad! Fucking seriously!?" Myra yelled

Jerry turned and faced the guards and his family. "I'm a good person. I'm a good person."

"Where did he get a gun? Who gave him a gun?" Summer panicked

"That's not a gun." Beth recognized the thing Jerry was holding. "That's the xp-20 XS."

Jerry looked at his so-called "gun" and pulled the trigger and the barrel started pumping up and down quickly scaring the man. He dropped it immediately. "Ah!"

Jerry looked at the Doctors then at his wife, who was gesturing to him to stop and give up.

Jerry doesn't listen and drops his pants. "I'm a good person." He ran at the doctors and Shrimply Pibbles which prompted the security guards to open fire on the man.

Beth and Summer screamed bloody murder as Jerry's body was riddled with holes from a hail of bullets. Myra just stood there stunned slack-jawed.

"Holy shit….." She whispered

Jerry fell to the floor in a pool of his own blood as his oldest daughter and wife screamed.

* * *

"So how's your Uncle doing?" Myra asked

Mason smiled, "Thanks to the heart you made for him, he's doing better than ever. In fact the moment he woke up he stood up and walked around. Said he felt years younger."

Myra nodded her head, "That's good."

"What about your father?" Mason asked

"Dumbass is going to be fine. This hospital is so advanced him getting shot so many times means nothing." Myra explained

"You seemed pretty shocked by him getting shot." Mason pointed out.

"I was just put into a stunned position because of all the blood. The smell made me nauseated. As if I was worried about him." Myra said

Mason just smirked. "Whatever you say."

"Stop smirking idiot." Myra pulled something out her pocket handing it to Mason. "Here are some ultrasound pictures. One for you and one or your parents, and I also got one for Shrimply Pibbles."

"You a real softie on the inside aren't you?" Mason chuckled

". . . Shut up."

* * *

Myra sat in a chair next to her father's bed. She was reading a magazine waiting with the rest of her family for her father to wake up. Jerry laid still in bed his body completely patched up, looking at him no one would have ever known he had been shot over several dozen times. In the background, the television played more interdimensional cable courtesy of Rick.

An alien was on screen walking around an ice cream shop, where the ice cream came out of an anus shaped dispenser.

" _Hey, how's it going?_ _This is my butthole ice cream parlor. I got all kinds of ice cream...peanut butter and jelly…"_ The alien went around pulling on the levers of the dispensers pouring ice cream into cups. Every time he pulled a lever the dispenser would fart. " _Vanilla. Chocolate. And every flavor served out of a butthole. Just like you're back home."_

There was a groaning sound and everyone turned to Jerry's bed where the man was waking up.

"Dad! Dad!"

Jerry groaned looking at his family. "What happened? Where am I? Was it all a dream?"

"No, you were shot like 50 times." Summer recounted the incident.

"57. Thankfully, you're in a super-sophisticated alien hospital, so it was basically like getting a splinter removed." Beth told Jerry.

She sat on the edge of Jerry's bed. "Jerry, remember that time you left a comment underneath that YouTube video and someone replied and called you a dumb-ass, so you replied and told them, 'it takes one to know one,' and you stayed up all night hitting 'refresh' on your browser waiting for them to reply and then you fell asleep crying?"

"I remember it differently," Jerry countered

"This is like that. You can't make people like you. You just have to wait for hating you to bore them." Beth affirmed

Jerry thought on the idea for a moment then smiled. "You know, you're right. I shouldn't be motivated by other people's opinions of me."

"Alright, guys, let's go home," Rick announced

Jerry got out of his bed standing next to his children. "If it's all the same to you, Rick, I'd like to go to the zoo, with my family."

"What?!"

Everyone shouted and yelled at Jerry glaring at the man.

"Are you shitting me right now!"

"What are you talking about?!"

"Why would we do that?!"

"It's a stupid idea!"

"What's the matter with you!?"

"Don't be a piece of shit, Jerry!"

Jerry grimaced, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We'll go home."

"What the hell is he talking about?!" Morty shouted

* * *

Jerry strolled into the kitchen in search of a snack. He opened one of the cupboards. The cupboard belonging to Rick, clearly stated by the paper taped on it that read "Rick's cupboard shelf. Keep Off!". Ignoring the sign Jerry rummaged through Rick's food pulling out a box of Eyeholes. He opens the box and barely gets one Eyehole in his mouth when the window bust open and the Eyehole Man flew in landing on Jerry's shoulders.

Jerry screamed as the Eyehole Man hit him on the head repeatedly shouting into a megaphone.

"I'm the Eyehole Man!"

"What is going on? Aah!" Jerry screamed

"Give me my Eyeholes! Give me my Eyeholes!"

The screaming and shouting caught the attention of Rick, Morty, Summer, and Myra, who rush into the kitchen to see all the commotion.

Summer tries to grab onto the Eyehole Man holding back his fits, but he breaks free continuing to hit Jerry. Rick just grabs his box of Eyeholes putting them back in the cupboard.

"Give me my Eyeholes! I'm Eyehole Man!"

The Smith siblings tried to pull the Eyehole Man off their father, Myra did help, but she was scolding her father the entire time. Didn't he learn his lesson from going into Rick's food in the fridge, it hadn't even been a full 24 hours since they got back from the hospital.

Rick just watched the struggle leaning on the kitchen counter his arms crossed. "That part of the cupboard is mine, Jerry!"

"Why do you even have those?!" Morty yelled

"Cause they're delicious Morty! Dad needs to learn how to stay out of other peoples food!" Myra shouted as she and Summer struggled trying to pull the Eyehole Man off their father.

"Give me my Eyeholes!"

"Help me, please!" Jerry cried

"Get up on out of here with my Eyeholes!"


	23. Look Who's Purging Now

**Look Who's Purging Now**

"Hmmmm?" Myra stood in her room holding up two paint swatches. On her bed laid several more colors. She held up two different shades of red comparing the colors. As she was doing this Morty walked by her bedroom door and peeked in observing his twin.

"H-Hey Myra w-w-what are you doing?" Morty asked

"Morty good timing. I need a second opinion." Myra held up the two red paint swatches. "Which shade of red is more appealing Wine or Brick?"

"What is this for?" Morty asked

"The baby room of course," Myra answered. "Now come on Wine red or Brick red?" She asked for a second time.

"Uhhhhh…." Morty stared back and forth between the two colors not knowing which one to pick.

"Come on pick one!" Myra shouted making her brother jump. Suddenly Myra's eyes started tearing up, and she started sobbing. "Why does this have to be so hard!"

Morty felt the awkward tension building up in the room watching his sister weep into her arms. He cautiously reached over going to pat her shoulder in a comforting way.

As his fingers brushed her shoulder Myra jerked back and the anger was back in her eyes.

"Don't touch me!"

Then Myra calmed down wiping away her tears.

"M-Myra are you okay?" Morty asked

"Yeah, I'm fine." Then Myra gave a big smile. "You know what Morty." She held up a third paint swatch. "I think I'll go with Blood red, thanks for the help."

Morty stood still in his spot in Myra's room confused and slightly scared of the whirlwind of emotions his sister just went through. Is this how all women acted pregnant? Was this due to the alien baby? Or was this just how Myra acted pregnant?

"There you two are!"

The twins turned seeing Rick walk into Myra's room. He doesn't give them any chance to talk and grabs the back of their shirts dragging them out the room.

* * *

Myra sat in the back of Rick's cruiser while Morty sat in the front in the passenger seat with Rick at the wheel.

Myra was humming to herself as she had what looked like a whole pizza in her lap.

"I got to tell you, Rick. It's pretty great to be in this spaceship, just the three of us, you know? Just cruising around, Rick, Morty, and Myra style." Morty smiled

Rick nodded his head agreeing with Morty. "I agree, Morty. *BURP* It's nice to get back to the basics after a pretty intense, mixed-bag of a year."

As Rick drove a large bug slammed into the windshield splattering its inside all over the glass. Morty jumped and yelped as the green blood leaked out the giant insect.

"Relax. That's what windshields are for." Rick said

"I didn't know that there were bugs out in space," Morty commented

"Well, w-what did you think, Morty? Life just developed on earth by itself? Here, let me take care of this." Rick reached down turning on the windshield wipers.

The wipers only served to spread the bugs inside so now the disgusting mixture covered about 90% of the windshield.

"Jeez, Rick, that's disgusting. I don't want to look at that." Morty said

Myra let out a growl of anger, "That's just fucking great!" She grabbed a slice of her pizza and practically ripped the thing in two as she took a bite out of it.

"Yeah, guess I'm out of fluid. L-Let me find a place to stop." Rick drove the cruiser down to the nearest planet.

The buildings of the planet had an Amish style and the inhabitants seem to be some human-like cat people.

Rick pulled up to the closest person and rolled down his window. "Hey, muchacho, does your planet have wiper fluid yet, or are you gonna freak out and start worshiping us?"

The Cat Man pointed to is right. "The general store ought to have what you need."

"Thanks," Rick said

Before Rick could drive off the man spoke up again. "Of course, you'll be wanting to be gone from here by sundown."

"Yeah, sure thing." Rick went to roll the window back up but stopped, "Wait a minute. What? Why?"

The man smiled. "Sundown is when the festival begins."

"The festival?" The twins asked although Myra's mouth was muddled from the pizza in her mouth.

"Ooh, well, for millennia, our society has been free of crime and war, living in perfect peace." The Man explained

"Oh, I know what this is!" Rick exclaimed. "You've been able to sustain world peace because you have one night a year where you all run around robbing and murdering each other without consequence."

"That's right." The man confirmed

"What?!" Morty shouted

"It's like that movie 'The Purge'," Myra stated

"Exactly Myra, 'The Purge'," Rick validated

"Oh, have you been here before?" The Man questioned

In the back of the car, Myra suddenly started sobbing, blubbering about killing. Rick ignored the girls crying and talked.

"No, no, haven't been here, but I've been to a few planets with the same gimmick," Rick told the man. "You know, sometimes it's called the cleansing or the red time. There was this one world that called it just murder night. I-it's a purge planet. They're peaceful, and then, you know, they just purge."

"T-that's horrible!" Morty scowled

"Yeah. You want to check it out?" Rick asked with a smile.

* * *

Rick parked the cruiser right outside the general store. He was talking to a man sitting outside the store while Morty was trying to get his sister to stop crying at the same time trying to put wiper fluid in the cruiser.

"So, what do you do during the festival? You lock yourself in, or you go out and do some stuff?" Rick asked

"Oh, I do some pretty bad stuff." The Old Man chuckled

Rick chuckled two rubbing his hands together. "Oh, I bet you do, old timer."

"Gee, Rick, come on. The sun is setting. W-we gotta get out of here." Morty said

"Stop being such a pussy all the time Morty!" Myra snapped going from sad to angry. She kicked the side the cruiser in her frustration.

"Hey! Don't kick my ship you little piece of shit!" Rick shouted

"Fuck you!" Myra shouted

"Fuck you!" Rick shouted back

Myra flipped Rick off, and he responded with a finger of his own.

Rick turned back to the man he had been previously talking to, "All right, well, w-what do I owe you for the wiper fluid?"

"It's on the house. Oh, and, uh, why don't you have some candy bars, as well?" The Man handed Rick three candy bars.

"Oh, no way. That's really nice of you." Rick smiled taking the candy.

"I'm a nice guy...For now." The Man said

Rick laughed. "Ohh, I don't doubt it."

Morty looked in the distance as the sun started to set. "Rick!"

"Yeah, yeah. Hey, have a good festival, old timer." Rick said

"I intend to." The Man said

Morty tried to get in the cruiser but the door was locked. "Rick, unlock it!"

"Just a second, Morty. Oh, look at that sunset." Rick seemed to not have a single care in the world.

"Stop screwing around!" Morty glared

Rick unlocked the car door and Morty plus Myra climbed in.

Rick turned on the windshield wipers and the fluid came out cleaning the windshield. "There we go. Much better. Now we can see."

Rick took off into the sky.

Myra poked her head in between Rick and Morty. "Rick I'm so happy that your windshield is finally clean!" Myra gave a large grin that would seem sweet to a normal person but was disturbing to her family members.

"Morty, what the hell is up with her?" Rick asked pointing back at the extremely moody Myra.

"I don't know but can we go?" Morty asked

"Hey, you know what, here's an idea. Why don't we christen our squeaky-clean windshield here by watching a little of this purge through it?" Rick said

"What?! No! What is your problem?!" Morty yelled

"Morty, grow up. If you don't want to watch, don't watch, but, you know, it's my car. *BURP* Also, if you tell your mom about this, I'll purge you." Rick said

Morty glared at Rick, "You're the worst. And this planet is the worst. How can you be into this? You know, people are gonna kill each other."

"So, what, y-y-you trying to sit here and tell me that *BURP* I-if-if there's a video online with someone getting decapitated, you don't click on it?" Rick said

"No! Why-why would I do that? You do that?" Morty questioned

"I don't because it would bore me. I see shit like that for breakfast, Morty. A large majority of it caused by your sister back there." Rick pointed at Morty, "But if you don't do it, I say it's because you're afraid of your own primal instincts. So you stuff them down and-" A bell goes off catching Rick's attention. "Oh, oh! Shh. Shh. It's starting." He pushes his face up to the window looking down at the town below. "Oh-ho-ho! Here we go."

People were running around screaming and fires had already started. Myra leaned over looking out the window with Rick.

Morty frowned crossing his arms. "I'm not watching."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, your medals in the mail. I'm gonna get a closer look." Rick said grabbing the steering wheel.

"Oh, okay, sure. And then someone's gonna throw a rock and hit the car, and then we're gonna crash, and we're gonna be stuck down there and it's gonna be what we deserve." Morty ranted "Yawn." Rick droned flying the ship closer.

"There's two fucking geniuses in this cruiser Morty! Like hell, we're gonna get taken out by some low tech ass society that still uses horses for transportation and churns their own butter!" Myra yelled back in her anger mode.

"W-what is wrong with you!" Morty yelled back.

Myra's lower lip starts to quiver than she puts her face in her hands sobbing. "I don't know!"

Rick rolls his eyes and looks out the window watching the chaos below. "Whoa!" People were running around killing person after person. A metal disk flew by and cuts someone's head off. A man stabbed a woman in the stomach with a pitchfork.

"Whoa, they are purging the fuck out of each other," Rick gasped

A man let out a scream and his blood flew splatting on the window of the cruiser making him Rick frown.

"Oh, my God!" Rick cursed as another splatter of blood painted the window. "Oh shit!" He swore as more large amounts of blood cover the front windshield.

"Make it stop!" Myra screamed covering her eyes laying down in the backseat.

Rick pulls back from the window turning on the windshield wipers. "That was...okay, yeah. T-that was gross. Wow. Man, I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach on this one, Morty. Ugh. My appetite for purge-spectating got filled pretty quick. Oh, God." Rick quickly rolled down the window and stuck his head out vomiting.

"Oh god!" Myra shouted. She climbed over the middle console getting into Morty's lap. She rolls down his window and vomits outside too. Morty cringed and groaned as his sister threw up from his lap.

A shrill scream rang out through the air catching Morty's attention. He peeks over his vomiting sisters shoulder to see a teen alien cat girl being surrounded by three men.

"Get away from me! No! No! Help! Somebody help me! Aah!"

Rick pulls his head back into the window. "All right, Morty. L-let's get out of here."

"Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. W-we have to go down there." Morty said

"W*BURP*What? Why?" Rick asked

Morty gestures outside. "That poor girl. W-we have to save her."

"Uh, Morty, in space, we have something we call the non-interference policy. We got the wiper fluid. We watched them kill each other. We're leaving." Rick declared

"Help me save that girl, or I'm telling mom you brought me here." Morty threatened

Rick narrows his eyes at Morty. "You little turd."

Myra climbed back into the backseat laying down pulling a blanket over herself. "Wake me when this shit is over."

Rick landed the cruiser on top of one of the men crushing him. He steps out of the cruiser pulling out his blaster killing the second man, the third man ran away.

Morty got out of the car walking over to the girl. "My name is Morty. This is my grandpa. We're tourists."

Several people from the distance started running at the group holding torches and weapons.

"Not anymore." Rick blasted three people shooting off one man's arm. "Oh, my God. This is fucking awesome! Morty, this is really cool. Hey, y-you want to help me out here and kill some people? It's fun. We're totally justified because we're saving a little girl. I mean, w-w-we're both free and clear to murder these people."

Morty ignored Rick turning to the girl. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. I have to find somewhere to hide."

"Well, you can hide with us. Rick?" Morty asked

"Yeah?"

"Do you think we could take...w-what's your name?" Morty asked the girl her name.

"Arthrisha." She answered

"Could we take Arthrisha up in the ship and, you know, just wait out the purge?" Morty asked

"Oh, Morty, how can I refuse after all you've done to blackmail me?" Rick said

The three run into the cruiser. Morty got in the back making sure not to sit on Myra while Arthrisha sat in the front passenger seat.

Arthrisha looked around the cruiser in wonder. "Your vehicle is it from the gods?"

"No."

"Yes."

Rick and Morty replied simultaneously.

Rick flew the cruiser settling it near some clouds allowing it to hover. Arthrisha looked out the window watching the purging below.

"So, uh, you know, when the purge started, did people get into it right away, or were they like, 'wait, what? This is gonna stop crime how, exactly?'" Morty tried to make conversation with Arthrisha.

"Yeah, it took some time for people to accept it," Arthrisha said not looking at Morty.

Rick looked bored as he pulled out a gaming device playing it.

"Yeah, I bet." Morty let out an awkward chuckle. "I bet. Yeah, it's kind of like cell phones, you know? At first, everyone was like, 'look at those douche bags purging,' and then the next thing you know, they're like, 'it's just so convenient.''

"Geez, you working on your tight five for the comedy store, Morty?" Rick said

* * *

A little time had passed and Morty had been doing his best to hold a conversation with Arthrisha who didn't seem at all interested in the boy or what he had to say.

"So, uh, do most people wear masks when they purge?" Morty asked

"I-I don't want to answer any more purge questions." Arthrisha sharply spoke before looking out the window sadly.

"All right, hey, hey, that's cool. I can roll with that." Morty tried to find something to say but couldn't think of anything.

The group sat in silence until Arthrisha gasped. "My Nana!"

Rick raised a brow. "Huh?"

"My Nana! We have to save her!" Arthrisha exclaimed

Rick flew the cruiser to a small farmhouse.

He parked the cruiser then looked at Arthrisha with a questioning gaze. "You just now remembered your Nana exists."

"I-I was traumatized." Arthrisha stuttered

"Haven't you been through like 15 purges? I mean, some as a child?" Rick pointed out.

"Will somebody just help me get her?" Arthrisha begged

"Fine, whatever. Morty, stay." Rick ordered

Rick and Arthrisha get out the car and run into the house.

Morty watched from the cruiser. A few seconds go by and Rick's blaster goes off lasers being shot out of the house.

"Oh, God. Oh, crap. Oh, crap!" Morty stressed grabbing his head.

The door to the farmhouse was kicked open and Arthrisha appeared holding Rick's gun. She ran over to the cruiser and pointed the gun at Morty.

"Get out! Get out!"

Morty put his hands up. "Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!"

"Get the fuck out of the flying machine!" Arthrisha yelled

"Oh, my God! O-okay! Okay!" Morty got out the car still holding up his hands.

Arthrisha shoved the gun close to Morty's face. "Back up, asshole. Back up. Ohh. Back the fuck up!" Arthrisha got in the cruiser getting into the driver seat. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry, but that's not really worth anything tonight, is it?"

She took off leaving a screaming Morty. "Y-you can't leave us here. You're killing us! You hear me? Come back."

Arthrisha flew the ship horribly hitting a windmill and a tree while Morty continued to cry out to her.

"Y-you gotta come back! Change your mind! Oh, geez." When the cruiser was out of sight Morty finally realized what he was missing. "Oh shit! Myra!"

* * *

The cruiser bumped around crazily jolting Myra awake. She sat up swiftly pulling the blanket off her.

"Rick what the fuck! Why the hell are you-!" Myra stopped yelling seeing Rick wasn't the one who was driving. "Who the fuck are you?! And where the hell are Rick and Morty!"

Arthrisha looked nervously at Myra, "I uh-you see they are…." Arthrisha trailed off trying to think of something quickly to say. Immediately coming up with something she lowered the ship close to the ground.

"I think I see them! They're down there!" Arthrisha quickly shouted pointing out the passenger window.

"What?" Myra climbed into the passenger seat looking out the window.

"I'm sorry." Arthrisha apologized

"Wha?" Myra turned around and a foot kicked her in the chest out of the cruiser. Myra fell hard about three feet onto her back knocking the wind out of her.

"Again I'm sorry but I have to do this," Arthrisha said before flying off.

Myra sat up glaring at the flying cruiser. "You fucking bitch! When I find you you're gonna get it! You hear me! I will end you!"

"Well well, what do we have here?" A male voice taunted

"For fuck's sake." Myra groaned

* * *

Four men surrounded Myra holding weapons.

"We got a soft looking thing here." A man laughed

Myra stood up dusting off her clothes. "Listen here. I'm not in the mood right now. I've gotta go find a bitch to exterminate. So just let me go, none of you get hurt and you can go work off your purging boners."

"Nah, nah. Now we can't let you go. Not on purge night."

Myra narrowed her eyes. "This is your last chance to leave me the fuck alone."

A man chuckled then lifted up his pitchfork then ran at Myra. Myra easily sidestepped around the man dodging him. She then sent a kick to the back of his legs knocking him to his knees.

With a stoic look, Myra snatches the pitchfork out of the man's hands and stabs him in the stomach. The man lets a horrible scream blood pouring out of his mouth and stomach. Myra pulls the pitchfork out then pushes the screaming man onto his stomach. She sits on his back and with her still, impassive look grabs his head snapping his neck.

The rest of the men looked stunned staring at Myra. One of the men yells and charges at Myra holding up a machete. Myra doesn't move from her spot and lifts up her watch. She presses a button and a laser shot out and the man explodes, Myra looked bored as she covered with blood.

"Okay, I warned you all." Myra kicks up the pitchfork catching it in her hands. "You sons of bitches wanna purge," Myra grinned gripping her weapon. "I'll give you a purge you'll never forget."

Myra spun her weapon in hand then held it like a javelin. She launched it at the third man there stabbing him through the neck. The fourth man looks terrified and drops his weapon turning to run.

Myra smirks and lifts her watch again, a thin wire shoots out and wraps around the man's legs making him fall down face forward. The wire slowly starts to reel the man in back to Myra.

"No no no!" The man screamed clawing at the ground.

Myra picks up the machete and stands over the man. He looks at her his face pleading for her to spare him.

"You're the one who wanted to purge. I gave you fuckers a choice." With a swift chop, the man's head flew off. "Guess you chose wrong."

* * *

Myra was walking fiddling with her watch.

"Let's see here. With my Morty tracker I should be able to find Rick and Morty, hopefully, Morty isn't dead. Hopefully, Rick didn't leave him somewhere or use him as a human meat shield."

Once again like a flick of a switch Myra went from normal to sad and started crying into her hands. "Morty! Oh, Morty! Please don't be dead!"

"Yaaahhhhh!" A woman ran from behind a large rock with an ax in hand.

Myra still sobbing into one of her hands lifts the other hand and without looking she points her watch and it shoots out a small dart into the woman's neck. The dart beeps then starts to electrocute the woman.

"Can't you see I'm grieving," Myra wailed as the woman was shocked with the deadly voltage.

The woman fell to the ground burnt to a crisp and Myra takes her weapons. Pocketing her ax and a small handheld crossbow.

*BEEP BEEP*

"Oh fuck me." Myra moaned

The beeping noise was her watching indicating that its battery was running low. If she wanted to be able to continue to use her Morty tracker then Myra wouldn't be able to use her watch to kill crazy purgers.

Myra swiped her watch checking the amount of time she'll have left.

"23 minutes….Okay, that should give me enough time to find Morty, and that pilgrimage cat bitch and tear her face off."

Myra lets out a sigh and pulls out her pitchfork, "Guess this is gonna be a tech-free rampage."

* * *

A woman ran down the street screaming for help. She had a splatter of blood on her cheek as she ran around the corner of a building. She pressed herself against the wall of the building clutching tightly onto a small pocket knife, shaking with fear. She tried to still her shaky breath hoping to hide from her pursuer.

Her breathing gets steady and the tenseness in her shoulders starts to fade as footstep run past her.

Suddenly the woman was grabbed and thrown to the ground. She screamed as a man with a mask on sat on her chest.

"Now where did you think you were going, darling."

The man had a sinister grin on his face as he wrapped his hands around the woman's neck. The woman choked and cried as she struggled clawing at the man's hands, but he doesn't let go.

"Hey."

The man turned his head and was met with a club to the head. He fell off the woman in a crumpled heap grabbing onto his now bleeding head.

The crying woman sat up scooting herself as far away from the man. She looked up to see her savior and came face to face with a figure shadowed by the darkness of the night, but the smell of blood drifted from them.

"Leave."

The woman didn't have to be told twice. She scrambled off the ground and took off running.

* * *

Myra watched the woman run off and the man slowly started to sit up, hand still pressed up against his bleeding wound Myra had given him.

"Why you little-!"

The man didn't get to finish his sentence as Myra delivered a swift kick to his chin, knocking his mask off and a few teeth out. Myra pocketed the mask and turned to leave. She turned back around and gave the man another kick to the head.

Myra heard a beep coming from her watch.

"Morty's heart rate is skyrocketing."

At that very moment. Morty was yelling at Rick, both in their battle suits. Halfway through his rant, Rick zaps Morty knocking him unconscious.

"Huh? It's back to normal. He must have gotten scared and pissed himself." Myra stated

Myra studied the GPS on her watch seeing that Morty was on the move, heading towards a large mansion on a distant hill.

Myra got a mischievous grin on her face and trekked on, the various plots of vengeance running through her head making her feel elated.

* * *

Rick with Morty attached to his back, along with Arthrisha were celebrating/dancing in the blood of the people they had just killed. As they continued to laugh and dance the door to the large hall was kicked open.

"You fucking bitch! I found you!"

"Whoa Myra. What the hell happened to you?" Rick questioned staring stunned at his granddaughter.

Myra was drenched in blood. She had a purging mask askew on her head and a pelt made out of one the cat men. Strapped to her back was a pitchfork, wooden spears, and a torch. Hooked on her hip was a machete and a crossbow. Clenched in her hands was a large bloody ax. There was a crazed look in her eyes as she glared death at Arthrisha.

"I've. Been. Purging." Myra stated, "Now there's just one more person I've gotta take care of." She said setting her sights on Arthrisha.

Arthrisha stepped back scared putting her hands up. "W-Wait! I said I was sorry for kicking you out of the vehicle! I really was, but I needed it. T-Tell her Rick!"

"Well, she did need this stuff to take down these guys." Rick gestured to the massacre around the room. "But she did screw us all over."

"B-But it was for a good cause!" Arthrisha said

"Fine then. I won't purge you." Myra said

Arthrisha looks relieved as Myra dropped her ax.

"But that still doesn't mean you're getting off scot-free." Myra lifted up her arm pressing a button on her watch. Metal started spreading down her wrist covering her hand forming a metal gauntlet. "I've been saving this one all night."

Arthrisha panicked looking up at Rick for help.

"I'd take the punishment if I were you," Rick stated

Arthrisha scared lifted up her arm blaster.

"That's not gonna work," Rick said

"Suit override commanded 44-MyraX!" Myra shouted

Arthrisha suit powered off becoming useless. Myra smirked with a crazy look walking slowly to Arthrisha, cornering the girl.

Rick winced as Myra swung her arm socking Arthrisha in the face with her metal fist.

* * *

Myra sat in the back of the cruiser silently.

Morty felt awkward, wanting to say something to his sister but not knowing what. When he had finally woken up, Rick informed him of what had happened after he was knocked out. Morty wanted to talk to Arthrisha, but he was deterred by the fact that half the girls face was swollen, bruising, and bleeding. It looked like someone had grabbed raw hamburger meat and slapped it on the left side of her face. He forgot the wrath Myra could bring down if she was scorned. But with the rage he displayed last night, maybe he and Myra were more alike than they thought.

"I can't help but feel ashamed about what I did back there, Rick. I guess you were right. I've got a lot of repressed stuff. I need to deal with." Morty said

"Don't worry about it, Morty. Remember those candy bars earlier that we got in the first act?" Rick said

"Yeah, what about them?" Morty questioned

"Turns out they have a chemical in them called purgenol that amplifies all your violent tendencies," Rick explained

Morty gave a happy relieved smile. "Oh, boy. Whew! Thank goodness for that, huh? That's a relief."

"Yep. Don't even sweat. You're still the same old Morty. Your character's totally protected." Rick assured him.

Myra sat in the back seat looking at her uneaten candy bar.

"Bullshit," She thought, but she kept her comment to herself.

* * *

Myra sat in front of her computer talking to Mason, telling him of her excursion on the purging planet.

"Then I punched her in the face." Myra finished

Mason leaned in close to the screen. "I love it when you talk revenge to me."

Myra gave a giddy smile, "And I love you."

"You seem to be in a good mood….I didn't know your smile got that big," Mason said

"I just feel happy. I mean I have so many wonderful things. I have my family, I have you," Myra rubbed her stomach, "I have this little one, and I got sweet sweet revenge on someone who wronged me. Although..."

Myra's smile slowly turned into a frown. "I killed so many people."

"That normally doesn't bother you though." Mason pointed

"I know but….." Myra didn't finish her sentence and started crying.

"Myra, why are you crying?" Mason asked concerned

"Because I'm sad!" Myra cried

"But you never get sad, well at least not on the outside. That's one of the various emotions that you bury deep within you and slowly let out through sarcasm and quick-witted vulgar yet snappy retorts." Mason explained

Myra suddenly stopped crying a frown stayed on her lips but her brows narrowed in a glare. "What am I not allowed to be sad you jackass!"

"No no that's not what-"

"Fuck you! I'll cry if I want to!" Myra shouted

With that outburst, Myra's anger turned back into sadness, and she started sobbing into her hands.

Mason watched Myra crying before a look of realization washed over his face.

"Oh, I get it now," Mason stated

"G-Get what?" Myra shakily said through her tears.

"Myra, all of this normal."

"Normal?" Myra sniffed whipping her nose.

Mason nodded his head. "Yeah. Before the woman of my species gives birth they go through a rapid fluctuation of their emotions. Its caused by the baby releasing certain hormones before their born. That means you'll be giving birth any day now."

Myra gave a small smile, "T-That's good."

"So when are you going to inform your parents?" Mason asked

"I guess I gotta do it soon. I'd rather not have them find out as I go into labor." Myra said

"Hey, I'll be right here whenever you need me." Mason confronted

"Thanks, Mason."

* * *

Myra walked to her father's office, still pondering why he needed an office in the first place. She typically did not go into her father's office, never felt the need to, but right now Myra was on a mission. The objective of said mission, get her mother and father together so that she could finally inform them of their future grandson. With the news from Mason informing her that she'll be giving birth any day now it was finally time to nut up and tell her parents.

The door to Jerry's office wasn't open but it wasn't fully closed either. The door was slightly ajar and the lights were off inside as if no one was in there, but Myra could hear whispering inside.

She peeked into the room and saw her father hunched over in his chair talking on one of the house phones. The way he had it clutched in his hands and the way he was listening so intently made him appear suspicious.

Myra pulled back from the door thinking about who her father could be on the phone with.

"Could it be another woman…..hahahahahaha! Aw, I crack myself up sometimes. Well, I know how to easily find the answer to this mystery."

Myra made her way into the kitchen where the other house phone was. She picked it up listening in to Jerry's call.

"Thank you for call Taddi Mason, will you accept the charges of $1.99 a minute to talk."

"Yes. Yes." Jerry answered eagerly.

He was calling some crappy friend hotline. Myra glared at the phone, her respect for her father had just dropped into the negative zone. Taking the phone with her Myra stomped her way back up to her father's office.

She kicked open the door making Jerry jump and almost drop the phone.

"Get a job!" Myra shout into the phone she was holding while glaring harshly at her father. She snatched the other phone out of his hand and slammed it back on the receiver before stomping back out the room.

Jerry sat in the dark room alone feeling forlorn, with a frown on his face.

Pissed off Myra went to her room completely forgetting about her "Informing Her Parents About the Baby Mission".


	24. The Wedding Squanchers

**The Wedding Squanchers**

Myra was worried, like really worried. She was due any day now and her stomach was now the size of a basketball, well slightly smaller than a basketball maybe more like a volleyball. She got herself some maternity shorts and was hiding her stomach with an overly large yellow sweater. So large in fact that she had to roll up the sleeves so they didn't cover up her hands. She didn't wanna tell her parents she was having a baby while she was giving birth to said baby. Then there was also Mason. She'd have to tell her parents about her alien fiance, also her fiance was a prince soon to be King and that she herself was being trained to be the next Queen.

"Myra breakfast!" Beth called out

"Be there in a sec!" Myra called out. She took one last look at her stomach then covered it up.

Everyone was downstairs in the dining room eating cereal. Myra grabbed a bowl filled it up and started to quickly eat it. She was starving, this baby took a lot of calories from her.

"The trick to cereal is keeping 70% above the milk." Jerry proudly said

"Jerry, get a job," Beth said

Within the short time period of Jerry being stupid and Beth criticizing him Myra had finished her first bowl of cereal and was already pouring herself a second one.

"Whoa there Myra," Jerry said

"What?" Myra mumbled mouth full of food.

"Your already on your second bowl?" Jerry stated

"So what I'm hungry," Myra replied

"You know you've been eating a lot more lately. You ate whole large pizza by yourself yesterday. Haha if you keep eating like that you're gonna gain weight." Jerry reached over and pinched Myra's cheeks. "Look your cute little chubby cheeks are coming back." Jerry smiled saying this in a cute jokingly way but all it did was piss Myra off.

She glared hard at her father slapping his hand away. "Piss off!" She stood up flipping her bowl of cereal before storming out of the room.

"Jerry!"

"Dad!"

Beth and Summer glared at Jerry, causing him to put his hands up in defense.

"What?"

"Your so insensitive!" Summer yelled

"I was joking," Jerry said

"A teen girls weight is not something you joke about." Beth scolded in a serious tone. As the woman folk glared at Jerry he sunk lower into his seat.

Rick smirked enjoying the show, while Morty just continued to silently eat his breakfast.

The icy silence was finally broken by a knock at the door.

"Uh, w-why don't you get it, Jerry? You're the man of the house, and you don't have a job." Rick said

When no one answered there was a second knock at the door.

"I'll fucking get it!" Myra shouted storming in.

"Myra language!" Jerry scolded

Myra quickly turned around sending a deadly glare to her father causing him to squeak and hide behind his hands. Myra turned back to the front door and opened it.

As soon as she opened it a fleshy mechanical pod flew in.

"Delivery for Rick. Morty, Myra, Summer, Beth, and Jerry."

"Gross." Summer dropped her spoon losing her appetite. "What is that thing?"

"It's a courier flap." Rick stuck his hand into one of the fleshy folds digging around in the courier flap. "It's like the intergalactic version of UPS, but less off-putting." He pulled his hand out revealing a metal egg. "Oh, shiiit! It looks like an egg-vite from Bird Person. Must be time for his annual Oscar party. And, by the way, our TV signals take light years to reach his planet. Nobody tell him that "braveheart" wins."

Rick cracks the metal egg out on a plate and a yolk plops out which proceeds to play a hologram. There's soft music playing in the background as a hologram video of Bird Person and Tammy appear.

"Greetings. This is Bird Person. And Tammy! Inviting you to planet squanch for our mate-melding ceremony…"

"Blugh!"

Rick covered up the hologram and dumped it in the trash.

"Oh, my God! My friend Tammy's marrying Bird Person!" Summer excitedly gushed

"What the hell is a Bird Person?" Jerry said

"He's Rick's best friend," Morty said

"Uh, l-let's not get carried away, Morty," Rick said

"Would you like to RSVP or send a gift?" The Courier Flap asked

"No. Weddings are basically funerals with cake. If I wanted to watch someone throw their life away *BURP*-"

"You could just hang out with Dad." Myra finished

Jerry forward as he watched Rick fist bump his child for insulting him.

"Affirmative!" The Courier Flap started to float out. "Returning to sender."

"No, hold on, stay, courier flaps," Beth said

"Staying!"

"Dad, you have a friend that's getting married. That's a big deal." Beth said

"It's a big deal he has a friend," Jerry said looking proud at his burn.

"What do you know about friendship, Jerry?" Rick said

"Confirmed, shipping Jerry." The Courier Flap said

It hovered over Jerry then sucked him up.

"Whoa, whoa, wait! Aah!"

"Oh, God! Jerry!" Beth screamed

"Dad! Dad!"

Everyone, minus Myra and Rick, ran to the front door watching the Courier Flap fly away with Jerry.

"Where is it taking him?" Beth asked

"I assume planet squanch. 6,000 light years across the galaxy." Rick said

"Whoa, t-that's-that's insane!" Morty said

"Yeah, I know. Now we have to go to the wedding." Rick said rolling his eyes.

* * *

Myra shifted in her outfit, she was rather lucky in finding a dress that could hide her stomach. A large champagne colored ball gown. It was strapless with a corset-like top. The corset part stopped right above her stomach and the skirt part ruffled out covering her pregnant belly. Once the family got Jerry back she'd tell her parents about the baby. The lovely atmosphere of a wedding would be a great place for her to tell her parents. Plus she knows her mother wouldn't make a scene in front of so many strangers, and Beth would stop Jerry form causing a scene as well.

Myra sat in between her mother and sister in the backseat of the cruiser. Morty sat in the passenger seat and of course Rick was the driver. Everyone was dressed up minus Rick, who looked like he'd rather be literally doing anything else than head to a wedding.

Rick parked the cruiser and everyone got out.

Squanchy ran over greeting Rick. "Rick Sanchez! You psycho bag of squanch!"

"Hey, what's up, squanchy?" Rick greeted back

"Hey, squanchy." The Smith siblings greeted

"Morty, Myra, Summer!" Squanchy smiled. He grabbed Beth's hand kissing the back of it. "And you must be Beth. Ensquanche!"

Beth smiled back. "Your language has the word "squanch" in it a lot. Doesn't that become tedious and worn out, like the smurf thing?"

"Beth, squanchy culture is more contextual than literal. You just say what's in your squanch and people understand." Rick explained

"Oh. Okay. I squanch my family." Beth said

Rick and Squanchy look grossed out at Beth's words.

Noticing their faces Beth looks at the two perplexed. "Uh...What, I do. I squanch my family."

Squanchy waves his hands, his look of disgust growing. "Stop saying it. Gross." He turns away from the family gesturing for them to follow him. "Come on in, guys. The guest are having cocksquanches."

As everyone follows Squanchy, the Courier Flap appeared plopping out Jerry next to Beth.

Jerry appears dazed holding his head looking at his new surroundings. "Where am I?!"

Beth holds out Jerry's tux shoving it in his arms. "You're at a wedding. Go change."

* * *

"So your at a wedding?" Mason asked

"Yup. For one of my sister's friends and Bird Person." Myra explained

Myra was currently talking to Mason on her video phone, informing him of her plan to tell her parents about him and the baby.

"So you're going to tell your parents about everything at the wedding?" Mason questioned

Myra nodded her head. "I'm gonna wait til after the ceremony then tell them."

Mason smiled happily to hear that. "So all this talk about wedding's makes me think about ours?"

"What's that I can't hear you, you're breaking up." Myra mused with a playful smirk.

"You cheeky little-"

The last thing Myra saw was Mason's playful smile as she hung up the phone.

"I need a drink."

Myra skirted her way around the party guest heading towards the bar. As she walked she snatched various appetizers off of waiters plates. Halfway to the bar Myra paused and let out a groan as she felt a sharp pain go through her stomach.

"God damn it." She hissed clutching her stomach.

"Myra." Myra jumped turning around seeing her mother standing behind her. Beth had a look of worry as she had seen her daughter wince and grab her stomach.

"Is everything alright?" Beth asked

Myra stood up fully putting on a fake smile. "Yup. Just having a hard time with this dress." Myra had to hold in a wince as another sharp pain went through her stomach.

"Okay if you say so," Beth replied raising an eyebrow.

Myra quickly shuffled away from her mother grimacing. "Damn it, baby, what is up with you?"

* * *

The ceremony began and it was a rather lovely event. It actually got Myra thinking about her wedding, it was rather strange thinking that someone wanted to marry her and vice versa. The average little girl always dreamed and planned their perfect wedding by Myra's age. Myra had never thought of getting married. Now she was getting married to a prince no less.

Squanchy was the one marrying Tammy and Bird Person.

"In the name of the squanch, the six rivers, the four squanches, and the nine balls, I unite these two organisms in eternal squanch! Tammy, you may squanch your vows now."

Tammy turned to Bird Person tears in her eyes. "Bird Person, You are my seed, my worm, my earliness, and my lack of cats. I promise to be yours until your death."

The crowd let out awws minus two guests. Rick just scoffed and Myra let out a yawn.

Yeah, it was sweet but too sweet for the cynical genius teen. Maybe that's why she liked Mason, he was sweet but with an edge like sweet and sour candy.

"Bird Person." Squanchy addressed the groom.

"Tammy, I was approaching infertility when I met you, but there is still time. I am yours until my death." Bird Person said

"I now pronounce you squanch and Bird Person!" Squanchy cheered

As the couple kissed the guest applauses. The end of the ceremony meant only one thing, reception.

* * *

Music played in the background by a live band. People walked around chattering and mingling. Tammy and Bird Person sat in a large nest shaped balcony a few feet above the ground. Myra sat at a table with her family, she was greatly enjoying the open buffet. As she lifted her fork for another bite another pain surges through her stomach causing her to drop her silverware on her plate creating a clattering noise.

"You okay there Myra?" Morty asked

"Y-Yeah just a little cramping." Myra groaned

Her stomach settled down, and she immediately went back to eating as if nothing happened. A cyborg walked around the room taking pictures with its eyes but with an awkward announcement before it took the picture.

The cyborg stopped before the Smith's table and spoke in a monotone voice, "I am not staring at you. I am a cyborg photographer. Just act natural. This is a candid shot. I don't require a camera so-"

"Yeah yeah just take the damn picture," Myra said offhandedly.

Rick stood up from the table up and held up his glass clinking it with a knife getting everyone's attention. He pulled out a piece of paper and started reading it.

"Uh, hi, everybody. I'm Ri*BURP*ck. You know, when I first met Bird Person, he was, uhh…" Rick trailed off for a moment then crumbled up the page he had been reading from. "Listen, I'm not the nicest guy in the Universe because I'm the smartest. And being nice is something stupid people do to hedge their bets. Now, I haven't been exactly subtle about how little I trust marriage. I couldn't make it work, and I could turn a black hole into a sun, so at a certain point, you gotta ask yourself what are the odds this is legit and not just some big lie we're all telling ourselves because we're afraid to die alone? Because, you know, that's exactly how we all die...alone."

"Oh, boy."

"Oh, dad."

"Jesus."

Rick ignoring his family continued to talk, "But, but, here's the thing. Bird Person is my best friend, and if he loves Tammy, well, then I love Tammy, too."

The crowd clapped for Rick's kind words. His family smiled clapping too, surprised that those words came out of Rick's mouth.

Rick held up his glass and everyone else copied. "To friendship, to love, and to my greatest adventure yet, opening myself up to others."

"Hear, hear!"

"Cheers! Cheers to that, motherfucker!"

Tammy smiled and stood up. "Thank you, Rick. That was beautiful. Gosh, I look around this room, and I think, uh, Tammy, you're a high-school senior from the planet earth, and you're marrying a 40-year-old Bird Person? Like, what?!" She said causing everyone to laugh.

"Yeah, Tammy!"

"But then I think, you know, in a lot of ways, I'm not a high-school senior from the planet earth. In a lot of ways, what I really am-" Tammy held up a wallet flipping it open revealing a badge. "-is a deep-cover agent for the galactic federation, and you guys are a group of wanted criminals, and this entire building is, in a certain sense, surrounded."

Myra's mouth fell open, and she dropped her utensils on her plate. The rest of the guest looked around confused murmuring.

"Oh, shit." Rick cursed

"I...Don't get the metaphor." Beth said

"I'll explain it to you later," Jerry whispered

Tammy reached down and pulled out a blaster. "Everyone here is under arrest for crimes against the federation. L'Chaim!"

Bird Person stood up looking confused and hurt. "Tammy, what are you doing?"

"Sit your bird ass down," Tammy yelled pointing the blaster at Bird Person.

"Tammy?"

Tammy shot Bird Person several times making him fall to the ground. As he hit the ground his wing twitched, and he let out a weak caw before going still.

"Bird Person! No!" Rick screams

"Oh shit!" Myra yelled

Screaming, laser blast, and chaos ensued. Gromflamites fell from the sky dropping through the skylight. Myra dove behind a table pulling out her watch blasting any Gromflamites that came near her. Rick kicked over the table that had the wedding cake on it and the Smith's dived behind it for cover.

Rick pulled out his portal gun but didn't get the chance to use it. Tammy appeared from the side pointing her blaster at Rick's head.

"Drop the portal gun. Slide it to the center of the room." She ordered

Rick put the portal gun on the ground and before he slid it over he pressed a small button the handle.

"Somebody confiscate that and don't damage it," Tammy commanded

Three Gromflamite's reached for the portal gun, before they could touch it the portal gun let out a blast exploding. The blast took out anything that was close to it and let out a bright light that had temporarily blinded anyone who had been looking. Rick ran from behind the table and took to fighting.

With all the panicking, anarchy, and the previous built-up stress Myra had finally had enough and ultimately blurted out her secret.

"Mom! Dad! I'm pregnant!"

"WHAT!?"

"I didn't know how to tell you guys!"

"And you think this is the best time?!" Beth yelled

"Well, better before Dad dies!" Myra yelled

"What?!" Jerry yelled confused

"Oh come on Dad. If we're talking casualties here, you, unfortunately, can be included in that statistic." Myra said

Jerry looked at the rest of his family looking for any reassurance that Myra's words were wrong but no one would make eye contact with him causing him to frown.

Rick reappeared running by his family. "You two can yell at Myra about her stupid life choices after we get the f*BURP*uck out of here! Now move! Move! Move!"

The family ran out the reception hall, Myra holding her stomach doing her best to keep up.

Rick hopped into a catering ship and the rest of the family dove in the back. Tammy's parents, who were actually robots, ran out heading for the Smith's.

Rick sped up the vehicle trying to take off.

Jerry smirked holding up what looked like a bazooka. "Good thing I grabbed a space weapon." He fired it and colorful paper came out.

"That's a confetti gun, you fucking idiot!" Rick yelled

The robots jumped up grabbing the back of the vehicle.

"Dad!" Beth screamed

"Hold on tight!"

Rick did a barrel roll trying to shake the robots out but all it did was spill worms and dirt on the family.

The Dad Robot slipped on some worms and fell out.

"Aaah! Aaaah!"

The Robot Mother grabbed Summer by the neck choking her. Beth glared grabbing a knife and stabbed the robot in the eye, then kicked it out.

"That was badass mom." Myra said

Sirens started to blare as cruisers started to chase after them.

"God damn it! God damn it!"

Rick hit some switches making worms and dirt fall out the back of the truck splatting on the cruisers. They crashed into each other exploding giving Rick the opportunity to pilot a successful escape.

"What the hell happened back there?!" Jerry shouted

"This is on you guys. I told you weddings are stupid." Rick countered.

* * *

"Uh, Rick, is there anything you'd like to tell us about your relationship with this previously unknown galactic government?" Jerry questioned

"All the important points seem pretty clear, no? They think they control the galaxy, I disagree. Don't hate the player, hate the game, son." Rick said

"How could you be so dishonest with this family?" Jerry said

"Oh! Oh, should I have been more open and trusting and loving to like, oh, I don't know, my now dead best friend? Or your daughter the pregnant teen, who by the way is at full term." Rick said

"Your at full term! How could you hide being pregnant for so long!?" Beth shouted at her daughter.

"Because I knew you'd act like this," Myra stated

"Oh or should I be honest with your other daughter, who is bffs with an intergalactic narc?" Rick said

"Hey, Tammy was cool!" Summer argued

"And now we know why," Rick said

"Because of you!" Summer shouted

"Fuck you, Summer, and fuck the government, and fuck me for letting my guard down, which I will never do again." Rick ranted

"Geez, Rick! You can't say F you to your granddaughter." Morty said

"I just did, Morty. Here's dessert. Fuck you." Rick said

"Look, I think we've all had a tough wedding. Actually, the wedding was beautiful. The reception got out of hand. Anyway, I say we go home, sleep it off, and have a family meeting in the morning." Beth said

"Do you really think we can go home after that shit show," Myra said

"Myra, language." Jerry scolded

"Oh, dad I think after today's events I deserve the right to drop a few swears," Myra said

"Yeah, listen to 'misses doesn't use contraceptives.'" Rick said

"Hey!"

"She's right, about going home, we can't...ever," Rick said

"What?!"

"Oh, these guys are looking for us now. Earth will be swarming with them." Rick stated

"Us?!" Jerry shouted

"Jerry," Beth warned

"I want to go home!" Jerry shouted

"Look, anyone that wants to go back to earth is free to go back to earth. But here's what's gonna happen. Aliens bureaucrats are gonna arrest you. They're gonna put the intergalactic equivalent of *BURP* jumper cables under your nuts and or labia and hook them up to an alien car battery until you tell them where I am which I guarantee you, you're not gonna know, which I guarantee they won't believe. So who's homesick? By applause." Summer started sobbing in the middle of Rick's speech. "Ladies? Anybody?"

"What are we going to do? Where are we going to live?" Summer sobbed

"Take it easy. This is a blessing in disguise. Fuck Earth. You realize our planet's name means dirt, right? We'll find a new world." Rick pulled out a small device. "Computer, how many planets in the milky way are at least 90% similar to earth?"

"765 known planets."

"How many of those are outside federal jurisdiction?" Rick asked

"Three."

"See? Our cup runneth over. Now, who wants to go shopping for a brand-new motherfucking world?!" Rick cheered

* * *

Rick pointed the ship to a planet that was strikingly similar to earth but missing a few things.

"All right! Look at this baby! Would you even know that wasn't earth?" Rick said

"Yes, because there's no Africa." Morty pointed out.

"Pssh. White-people problems, Morty. Let's go down and check her out." Rick flew the ship and ended up hitting the planet revealing that it was not far away but just small. "Oh. I thought it was further away. I uh-I guess this one's a little small. All right, uh, maybe-maybe we should go check out the other two, huh?"

Rick flew the ship to another planet this one with more brown tones to it instead of green. "Okay, this one's bigger."

Rick flew the ship down landing it in an open field.

Beth opened the door looking around. "This looks nice."

Summer and Morty ran out exploring the fauna. Myra whose back was killing her just sat down in the doorway of the ship looking around. Her stomach throbbed again, and she rubbed it trying to settle down the baby.

"You know we're going to have to talk about that," Jerry whispered to Beth pointing to Myra.

"Our daughter is not an it." Beth glared at Jerry.

"I don't mean Myra, I meant you know…."

"I can hear you, the baby is not an it. The correct grammatical term would be he." Myra said

"You're having a boy?" Beth asked giving a small smile.

"Beth! Were supposed to be scolding her for her poor life choices!" Jerry shouted

"I think we're way past that dad. Baby is gonna be here soon." Myra said

"She's sort of right Jerry," Beth said

"Beth!" Jerry shouted

"Look, I'm not happy with Myra's choices either, but us getting mad at her isn't going to make the baby go away. Right now we're all going through a pretty taxing time and the best thing for Myra and our future grandson is to keep calm and try not to let Myra get too stressed out." Beth explained

"Her stressed out! What about me!?" Jerry said

"No everything is about you, Jerry." Beth frowned.

"Mom, dad, look!" Summer called out getting her parents attention. "Strawberries on a cob!" She smiled picking the plant and eating it.

"Whoa! Hey, check this out! Flowers on a cob!" Morty laughed.

"Huh. Strawberries and flowers on a cob, huh?" Jerry said

"That's pretty cool. Are those…" Beth pointed out to the distance. "Mountains on a cob?"

A flock of birds flew by, and they too were stuck on a cob.

"Oh, my God." Rick picked up a rock studying it with an electric microscope eyepiece. "Get in the ship, sweetie."

"What?"

"Get in the goddamn ship! Everything's on a cob! The whole planet's on a cob!" Rick shouted ushering his family back into the ship. "Go, go, go!" He turns on the ship and flies away as quickly as possible.

* * *

"Where is she?!"

Mason scowled crossing his arms. A couple of hours after his call from Myra he got an unpleasant visit from some members of the Galactic Federation. Although they had no official jurisdiction in his sector of the galaxy that still didn't mean they weren't a pain in the ass. Their agreement did allow them to enter his territory in search for dangerous criminals, which unfortunately included Myra's grandfather. Right now he was being interrogated into revealing Myra's whereabouts to locate Rick.

"I don't know and even if I did I wouldn't tell you Galactic Federation assholes!" Mason yelled

"You know your girl can get into a lot of trouble by harboring a criminal." A Gromflomite said

Mason scoffed glaring at the Gromflamites. "You can't do a thing. If you guys actually read our treaty instead of thinking up new ways to act like douches you'd know that anyone under the protection of my kingdom can't be touched by your stupid federation and that definitely includes Myra. So you can all go blow it out your asses! Now if you'd like to keep our treaty intact I suggest you leave before I start demolishing your asses and the rest of your federation, and you know I'll do it. I've got my mothers temper."

The Gromflamite's quickly left with Mason's threat. Once they were gone Mason sighed looking out a window.

"Oh Myra, where are you?"

* * *

"AA*BURP*All right, third time's the charm. See what we got here." Rick flew the ship to the third planet.

It was nighttime as the family stepped out of the ship. Everything seemed to be pretty normal.

"Seems good," Beth said

"And nothing on the cob. Didn't know that was a necessity, but…" Jerry said

"No, it's nice. I think this might be it." Rick said

"Wow! Hey, look, you guys. The sun's rising." Morty said

The whole family watched as the sun slowly peeked over the horizon, and they got a big surprise.

Screaming could be heard in the distance and it got louder as the sun rose, the screaming sun. The sun had a large face and was screaming its head off.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The whole family looked uncomfortable staring at the screaming star.

"Uh, dad, how long are the days on this planet?" Beth asked

"Uh, computer, how long are the days on this planet?" Rick asked

"42 hours."

"All right, well, those are the two choices 'cause cob planet is off the table. Now let's take a vote." Rick said

* * *

And that's how the family end up on the tiny planet in a small makeshift cabin. Everyone minus Rick was in the cabin watching a television Myra hand put together.

" _Well, it's official. The obscure planet known as earth, formerly the hiding place of interstellar terrorist and fugitive Rick Sanchez, has just become the 6,048th planet to join the galactic federation."_

" _The plucky little ball of water and dirt, which is where it gets its name, is dominated by seven billion primate-descended natives who love to eat spaghetti and pray to kangaroos. Spaghetti, kangaroos? I've got to check this place out."_

" _Well, you can. Contact the ministry of tourism for details. Up next, teenagers are calling it gahahcashhha! And it's not what you think."_

The TV shut off Summer having been the one who did it.

"What are you-what did you do that for?" Morty asked

"Dramatic effect." Summer answered

The door to the cabin opened and in came Rick wearing a winter coat and holding a flag with a large R on it. "Good morning, family. Oh, do I smell bacon?"

"Yes, we discovered a species of tiny pig off the coast of new Australia about 30 yards east." Beth said

"Or 300 yards west." Morty said

"We'd offer you some, but we hunted it to extinction for breakfast." Summer said

"Well, I thought I'd walk to the South pole and do a little bit of exploring. If you guys need me, just yell or throw something so hard that it goes around the world and hits me." Rick said before leaving.

"Okay, now that he's gone, can we please talk about our situation?" Jerry said

"Dad, you can't talk about people behind their back. You know, it's a small world." Morty said

"Please, he's in the South pole! And we need to have a serious conversation. I'm just saying, we keep acting like there's only two options, but there's not. So, yes, if we went back to earth, as long as Rick was out there, they'd want to interrogate us. But, and this is purely hypothetical, what if we turned your father in to the government?" Jerry said

Beth stood up glaring at her husband. "Jerry, so help me God, if you ever bring this up again, no more bacon."

"There already is no more bacon! This world sucks! Our life sucks! Why are we doing this for someone that would never do anything for anyone but himself?" Jerry said

"That's not the point, dad! We love Rick. F-for the most part." Morty said

"Yeah, you don't love people in hopes of a reward, dad, you love them unconditionally." Summer said

"Yeah, Rick may be an asshole among assholes, but he's our asshole!" Myra said

"That's very good, kids. I'm proud of you." Beth smiled

"Okay, so let me get this straight. For the rest of your lives, no matter how much it hurts you, no matter how much it destroys our children's futures, we're gonna do whatever Rick wants, whenever he wants?" Jerry said

"Yes." Everyone answered

"Why?!" Jerry shouted

"Because I don't want him to leave again, you dumb asshole!" Beth screamed her eyes tearing up.

"Great job dad, you made mom cry." Myra stood up walking over to the door. "If anyone needs me I'm going to take use the bathroom."

* * *

Myra walked a little ways away, since the family hadn't built a bathroom her only option, unfortunately, was to build hole and do her business there.

"Damn this pregnant bladder. At least that ship had toilet paper in it."

Once Myra was done she covered her hole back up and headed back to the cabin, she only made it a few steps when she felt something wet trickle down her leg.

"Oh for fuck's sake." Myra cursed

She noticed that the liquid trailing down her leg was bright orange. "What the hell?" Myra was confused until she remembered something from one of the baby books Mason had gotten her. "Oh shit! My water broke!"

Myra waddled her way back to her family which took some time since the pain started to quickly build up. Myra had to sit down a couple of times taking deep breaths.

"God damn it this hurts way more than I thought!"

By the time Myra made it back the cabin the sun was setting and several ships arrived at the cabin. A Gromflamite dropped out greeting the family.

They were all piled onto a ship while Myra kept cringing tears coming out her eyes.

"Myra don't be too upset. What Rick did was for the best. I'm gonna miss him too." Jerry said

"First off don't talk down to me like I'm stupid, I know you could give two shits about Rick! Secondly, I'm not worried at all for Rick he can handle himself, if anything I'm worried about mom.

Third, this face I'm making has nothing to do with my emotions. I'm in horrible pain right now because I'm going into fucking labor!" Myra screamed

"WHAT!"

"Get this ship to a hospital now!" Beth shouted

Jerry nervously approached a Gromflomite. "Uhm excuse me sir but you see my daughter she's uh going into labor, and she really needs to get to a hospital."

"Sit down sir, and we arrive at earth in a timely matter."

A pissed off Myra grabbed the Gromflomite pulling him close to her face, "You listen to me you Gromflomite piece of shit. You are going to fly this ship as fast as possible to earth, I don't care if you have to break the laws of physics. Get me to the nearest hospital or I swear I will rip off your arms shove them up your ass, then rearrange your organs so you have to slap your stomach in order to activate your vocal cords."

The Gromflomite in Myra's arm looked terrified as he reached over grabbing an intercom. "Ladies and Gromflomites please strap in as we are about to increase speed."

* * *

"You're doing great sweetie just deep breaths."

Myra winced as she held the hands of her mother and sister. Beth coached her daughter threw breathing exercises as Myra screamed through her convulsing contractions.

The ship finally landed and the group rushed off, only to be delayed by some aliens customs.

"Are you fucking kidding me!" Myra yelled

"Breathe honey! Breathe!" Beth instructed

"You can do this Myra. You're a strong independent young soon to be mom. Morty!" Morty jumped as Summer called to him. "Call you know who."

"R-Right," Morty said pulling out a phone.

"How long will you be visiting earth?" A Gromflomite asked

"Oh, we live here. We were just off-planet for a wedding." Jerry answered

The Gromflomite pointed off to the side. "Go that way."

The family was scanned and prodded then quickly pushed out the building. The streets were now crawling with various alien tourists.

Myra let out another scream clutching her mother and sister tighter.

"Don't worry sweetie were gonna find a ride and we'll get you to the nearest hospital," Beth reassured her daughter.

"Good, because if I have this baby on the street without any pain meds I'm going to stab someone," Myra strained out.

"Myra just calm down," Jerry said

"Jerry! You are not helping!" Beth scolded

"Dad, either find me some painkillers or shut the fuck up!" Myra snapped

Jerry shut his mouth looking at the ground, the sad pathetic kicked puppy look coming to his face.

Myra took several deep breaths looking at her father. "You know what Dad. That was mean." Jerry's frown slowly turned into a smile. "Please find me some painkillers or shut the fuck up."

Well, that was a short-lived smile from Jerry.

A small robot wheeled up and scanned Jerry. "I have processed that you are in distress and have prescribed antidepressants. Compliments of the galactic federation." The robot opened up and gave Jerry a cup of pills which he quickly swallowed.

"I feel better." Jerry smiled

"Your debt is 7,000 fed credits. Report to the ministry of employment and you will be assigned a function." The robot said before zooming away.

"Honey! I got a job!" Jerry cheered

"What about me you fucking robot I need god-damn painkillers!" Myra shouted

* * *

The family finally got to the hospital and Myra shoved her way all the way to the front threatening anyone who got in her way. A nurse came into the room pushing out a wheelchair.

The automatic doors to the hospital opened and a figure out of breath ran in.

"I'm here!"

Mason stood breathing heavily at the door his eye frantically scanning the hospital lobby. Jerry was the first to notice the alien prince, recognizing him from his terrifying marriage counseling adventure.

"Hey, I remember you. Your that guy from the marriage counseling place. What are you doing here?" Jerry asked

"I'm here to see-" Mason stopped mid-sentence when he spotted Myra, being put in the wheelchair. "Myra!" He shouted pushing past Jerry and running over to her.

"Myra?" Jerry questions confused. He watched Mason run over to Myra grabbing her hand comforting her.

A look of relief washed over Myra faces as Mason grabbed her hand bringing it up and caressing it against his cheek. He gently rubbed her stomach giving her words of encouragement. Jerry watched on still confused as Summer and Morty greeted the alien teen, then saw him introduce himself to Beth, shaking her hand.

"What is going on here?" Jerry questioned

"Mrs. Smith. We have your room ready." A nurse announced coming into the room.

Everyone ignored Jerry as they followed Myra being wheeled into the delivery room. Mason popped his head back out.

"Pleasure to meet you again Mr. Smith I'm your daughters….uhm how do you say on this planet. Oh yeah! I'm here fiance."

"What!?"

* * *

"What the hell is going on?!"

"Jerry you've been yelling that constantly for the past 20 minutes. Will you give a rest now." Beth said exasperatedly.

"Myra is having a baby and has a fiance. I mean what the hell is going on!?" Jerry yelled

"Sir!" A nurse appeared with a glare. "This is a hospital, you need to keep your voice down. If I have to say it again you will be escorted off the premises."

"What the hell is going on!?"

* * *

"Where the hell are my drugs!"

Myra was sweating and screaming from all the pain she was enduring. She was in bed her legs propped up waiting for the doctor to come in.

Mason stood off to the side of Myra, doing his best to comfort her without getting in her labor induced rage.

The door to the room opened and the doctor finally came in.

"Fucking hell, finally! Give me my damn drugs!" Myra screamed

"First baby huh?" The doctor walked over to Myra and grabbed a chair. He sat down and lifted up Myra's hospital gown to see how far along she was.

"Well, Miss Smith. I have some good news and bad news for you."

"What the hell is it?!" Myra shouted

"You are fully dilated which means we can start delivering the baby right now. Unfortunately, that means we can't give you anything for the pain." The Doctor explained

Myra just lets out a strangled scream, the pain getting even worse.

"Nurse, quickly get my gloves." The nurse ran over quickly putting the doctor's gloves on him.

"You've got this Myra." Mason encouraged

"Shut the hell up!" Myra yelled

"Yes, use that anger!" Mason said

"FUCKING HELL!" Myra screamed

"You're starting to crown. I can see the little one's head. On my go I'm going to need you to push, Miss Smith." The Doctor reached down getting in position. "Okay, one, two, three push."

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Myra squeezed Mason's hand as hard as she could. She was pretty sure if he had been human she might have broken a couple of fingers.

"Here comes the shoulders. Your almost there push Miss Smith."

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Cries filled the air as Myra's head dropped back down on the bed.

"It's a boy….with a tail?"

"He's perfect Myra."

Myra smiled slowly closing her eyes, exhausted from the events.

The nurse quickly cleaned the crying baby off, and wrapped him in a blue blanket.

"Here you go, mom."

Mason helped Myra sit up as the nurse gently handed her baby.

"Wow, he...looks just like you…." Myra whispered

"But he's got your eyes," Mason whispered

The baby indeed looked just his father. The only sign of Myra in the baby was his eye color all three of them.

* * *

"Awww he's so cute."

"Good job Myra."

Myra's family were finally allowed in the room, and they cooed over the baby.

"So do you have a name picked out?" Summer asked

"Mason, Mason Jr."


	25. The Rickshank Rickdemption

**The Rickshank Rickdemption**

 _ ***BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP***_

"Ugh. Mason the alarm." Myra groaned

A pale hand reached out from under the covers and slammed down on the alarm cock smashing it to pieces.

Myra let out a sigh of content sinking deeper into the bed. "That's better."

"Why do we have an alarm if we just destroy it every morning?" Mason asked

"Meh, I like to start my morning with a little violence," Myra said

Mason smirked. "I love that about you."

His arms moved under the covers pulling Myra close to him. The two were cuddled close until the sound of someone fussing interrupted.

"Baby's up." Myra threw off the covers and slid out of the bed. She walked to the other side of the room and plucked her baby out of the crib. "Is someone hungry?"

Myra walked over to a rocking chair and sat down before she started breastfeeding.

"I'm hungry too." Myra looked up to see Mason smirking in bed.

"Yeah then get your lazy ass up and head to the great dining hall for food. It's too early in the morning for you to make sex jokes." Myra said

"Fine fine," Mason got out of bed getting dressed. "I'll see you two later."

* * *

Myra finished feeding the baby and put him on her shoulder. She gave her baby several hard pats on the back, and he let out a fiery burp.

"Good boy."

Myra then laid Mason Jr., or MJ for short, down on the change table putting him in a metal lined diaper, since his species has lava type poop. She then dressed him a maroon onesie. She handed her baby a rattle that a jeweled skull on top, which he happily shook.

With MJ thoroughly distracted Myra got herself dressed. Since she was now the Queen-in-training Myra was required to be dressed a certain way. She was at first pissed thinking she'd have to start wearing dresses, but she was pleasantly surprised at the outfit she got to wear. Myra opened the closet pulling out light armor. She had on knee-high silver boots, black pants, a dark blue tunic style shirt, a tough leather silver chest breastplate, and a pair of silver gloves. She clipped on a silver locket, that had her ring Mason had given to her on it. Then she took a dark white scarf and wrapped it around her neck covering the locket.

Myra grabbed a bronze colored baby carrier strapping it on then put MJ in it.

"Now it's time for the day to begin."

* * *

Myra now somewhat lives in Mason's castle. Since the Galactic Federation took over Earth, she's been avoiding going home due to all of her inventions being illegal technology. She holophones her family every so often to check in on them. The only one in her family who seemed to be adjusting to the new lifestyle on Earth was Jerry. He had a job and his employers gave him a medal nearly every day. Myra was too exhausted to tell him that they were just meaningless trinkets used as incentives for their employees to work harder without actually having to give the employee more money. Her mother was doing what she did best in stressful situations, drown her troubles in wine. A habit Myra was sure that her mother got from Rick. Most of her calls with her mother ended up with her mother crying. Still upset over Rick leaving also, the fact that she lost her job. It seems like the Galactic Federation had pills that kept horses alive forever, meaning Beth's job as a horse surgeon was obsolete. Morty seemed to be doing okay, just trying to stay out of trouble. Although he expressed to Myra how he disliked how they were fed with pills. Myra was glad to send to her brother some real food from the castle. Summer was pissed, like really pissed. She constantly complained about the Galactic Federation and all their new rules and regulations especially since their new calendar made Summer over 40. Myra would have to check in with her later and make sure her sister didn't do anything crazy.

MJ kept Myra busy along with his father. Myra also had various responsibilities in the castle since once she and Mason get married she would be the new queen. She was really starting to warm up to the idea of marriage and becoming royal, especially in a kingdom where violence was encouraged.

* * *

"Morty if you don't wanna help Grandpa then I know one sibling who will." Summer said

"Myra's just gonna say the same thing as me," Morty said

"Says you. Watch," Summer pulled out her computer.

* * *

 ** _*BEEP BEEP*_**

"What's that?" Mason asked

Myra lifted up her watch. "I'm getting an incoming call from my family." She swiped her watch and up came a holographic video feed of her siblings.

"Morty. Summer. Hey." Myra greeted

"Hey, siblings-in-law!" Mason grinned waving at Morty and Summer.

The two waved back with less enthusiasm.

"Stop it." Myra shoved Mason out of the view of her siblings. "You're weirding them out. We're not even married yet."

"Myra how about you and I do a little sister-sister tag team rescue to get Grandpa Rick out of Space Jail." Summer smiled and looked at Morty giving him a smug look.

"Yeeeeaaaaahhhhh, I'm not doing that," Myra said sitting back into a chair.

"What?!" Summer shouted her smile immediately dropping.

"Told ya," Morty said crossing his arms.

"Myra how can you just leave grandpa Rick in some space prison!?" Summer said

"Because it's Rick. It was his choice to get captured and I'm sure it'll be his choice when he wants to get out." Myra simply replied

"Myra why don't you want to help grandpa Rick!" Summer shouted

"Summer just leave it alone," Myra said.

"Why?" Summer questioned

Myra rubbed her brows. "This was what Rick does. This is what Rick has always done. This all Rick will ever do. Summer, I get that you're worried I really do. But if it was Rick's choice to get captured so why not let him stay captured. I mean the man built an interdimensional portal gun and a space cruiser out of shit found in our garage. I'm sure he's got some convoluted plan in that crazy ass head of his. If you go trying to save him you're gonna end up in a life or death situation."

"Aren't you worried about him?" Summer asked

"No, not really," Myra answered

"Myra!" Summer exclaimed

"Look, Summer, I've got an infant that breathes fire, poops lava, and who is teething with little baby shark teeth. I've got a lot on my plate to be worrying about Rick. I mean he doesn't even really worry about himself. I'm sure he's fine, I mean it's not like their torturing him…..I think." Myra said

"But-"

Summer was cut off by the sound of crying followed by a servant screaming "Fire!".

"MJ's up. Summer please just don't do anything stupid. I'll try and visit home soon. Myra out."

"Wait, Myra-!"

Myra tapped her watch cutting the video feed off.

Mason stared at Myra, seeing her brows furrow. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. My family is just really stressful. I'm gonna have to sneak home sometime and make sure Summer doesn't do anything rash. Morty can only keep her under control for so long. Don't you have a meeting to get to?" Myra said

"Yeah but-?"

"No buts, get going." Myra walked out the room heading towards the sound of crying and screaming.

* * *

Myra was sitting at a table tinkering with some inventions. The Queen had given Myra her own workshop to start building weapons and other things. Mason had commented that the layout of the room was similar to the garage Rick worked in. That remark earned him a wrench upside the head.

MJ was off to the side in a playpen keeping himself occupied by grabbing his own feet.

"Let's see," Myra held up a tube with blue liquid. She plugged it into a blaster and it turned on. She faced a target and flipped a switch on the blaster. A whirring noise was heard as she charged the weapon.

She lifted the weapon onto her shoulder putting her eye over the eyepiece aiming.

 _ ***BEEP BEEP BEEP***_

"Oh for fuck sakes," Myra sighed out dropping her weapon.

She looked at her wrist and tapped a few buttons on her watch. A holoscreen is pulled up showing two blinking lights, one yellow and one pink. Wavelengths were vibrating rapidly underneath the dots.

Myra let out another sigh turning the screen off. She walks over to the playpen and picks MJ up. "Come on sweetie Mommy's gotta go kill some people and rescue your Aunt and Uncle."

MJ let out a giggle kicking his feet.

* * *

"Myra!" Mason called out entering the workshop. "I'm back! You in here!? Myra!" He walked over to Myra's work table where a sticky note was tapped to it. He picked it up reading over the short note. He smirked shaking his head.

"Too bad I'm gonna miss that."

He walked back out of the lab dropping the note.

The yellow sticky note floated to the ground.

 _"Gone out to kick some ass. Be back for Dinner - Myra."_

* * *

Rick, Morty, and Summer were running through the Citadel/Federation Prison. They turned a corner running into another room.

"Hands up!"

They froze as several Gromflamite's stood before them guns raised.

"Rick you are under arrest for several-!"

A portal opened up and a hand appeared shooting the Gromflamite who was talking. Before the other Gromflamite's could react a figure dressed in black tech armor stepped out holding a large blaster. There was a loud click and the blaster fired off several rounds taking out all the Gromflamite's.

Morty and Summer looked scared as they hid behind Rick. The figure tapped the side of their helmet and it deconstructed revealing familiar long brown hair.

"Myra!"

Turning around the figure was revealed to indeed be the one and only Myra, and strapped to her chest was baby MJ.

Morty and Summer ran over giving their sister a hug.

Myra rolls her eyes. "I told you not to do anything crazy Summer."

"Do you think that it's safe to have MJ here?" Summer asked

"Oh yeah, this kind of stuff is what his species is used to. I also can't leave him alone. He's in this strange bonding period where if I leave his sight he goes crazy." Myra explained

"H-How'd you know we were here?" Morty asked

"I've got you and Summer tagged with emergency trackers that go off whenever you two are in mortal danger," Myra said

"What! That is an invasion of my privacy!" Summer exclaimed

"Oh, you wanna complain about it. That invasion of privacy just saved your life." Myra fired back.

"Look you two can have this bullshit argument later! Right now we gotta go!" Rick shouted

As the group ran Myra looked at Rick. "Well well, I knew you'd find a way out of the most maximum security prison in the known universe. But crashing the Federation Prison in the Citadel of Rick's. Damn Rick, you sure know how to make an entrance and hold a grudge."

"That's what I do," Rick smirked

* * *

"So why did you crash-land this place in the galactic federation prison?" Myra asked

The group came upon a giant computer and Rick started typing on it.

"To gain level nine access," Rick answered

"What are you doing with level-nine access?" Morty asked

"What I'm going to do with it, is destroy the *burp* galactic government," Rick said

"Awesome!"

"Whoa, cool!"

"Sounds fun!"

"Are you going to set all their nukes to target each other?" Summer asked

"Or cause all their research facilities to release all their deadly and dangerous experiments?" Myra asked

"Ooh, or-or reprogram their military portals to disintegrate their entire space fleet?" Morty asked

"Good pitches, kids. I'm almost proud. But watch closely as Grandpa topples an empire by changing a one to a zero." Rick presses a button on the computer.

* * *

In an office of Gromflamite's everything seemed to be running smoothly until someone ran in looking rather panicked.

"Mr. President, the Blemflarck's value just dropped to nothing." A Gromflamite said

"What do you mean?" The Galactic Federation President exclaimed

"I mean, our single centralized galactic currency just went from being worth one of itself to zero of itself." The Gromflamite said

Everyone in the room started whispering in worried hushes.

"Calm down, people. Deploy the galactic militia and declare martial law." Gromflamite President said

"Yes, sir. Uh, what should I pay them with?" Federation Commander said

"Their payment is the honor they'll feel to serve their-wait. Who's paying me to yell at this guy?" A Gromflamite said

"I can answer that, for money."

"I never thought I'd live to see this day."

Everyone started panicking again.

The Gromflamite President spoke up, "Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen! There's a solution here you're not seeing." He lifts up a gun and shoots himself in the head.

That's when all hell breaks loose.

"Give me your jacket!"

"Give me those pants!"

Everyone in the room started fighting, going wild.

* * *

"There's no rich people or poor people! I want more jackets!"

"He who controls the pants controls the galaxy!"

In an office, Jerry Smith was crawling on the floor scared as the office was being drowned in mass chaos. Jerry whimpered as he tried to avoid getting hurt. He made it out of the office building where the chaos continued on the streets. Spaceships were taking off escaping earth.

As Jerry crawled down the street a manhole cover lifted up and Mr. Goldenfold popped out.

"No longer will the insects have domain over the surface world!"

Dozens of people came out of the sewer and started fighting too.

Jerry made his way home, for some reason still crawling until he made it safely inside.

"Jerry, what the hell is happening?!" Beth cried

"The galactic government collapsed," Jerry said

"Are you okay?" Beth asked

"Look, I-I'm not proud to share this, but the truth is, I just kept crawling, and it kept working. Oh, I'm glad you're okay. Are we ever going to stop paying for indulging your father? Our children, our planet, our jobs? Is there anything left to lose?" Jerry said

"Just each other, and I'll never let you go. And I'm so sorry I ever did this to us." Beth hugged Jerry.

A portal opened and out came Rick, Summer, Myra, and Morty.

"Guess who dismantled the government?" Rick smiled

Beth quickly lets go of Jerry and ran over to her father hugging him. "Please don't leave me again."

"I never will, baby," Rick said

"I was right. He turned himself in on purpose. It was all part of his plan!" Summer said

"Jerry, is there any light beer left? It's insane what you miss in prison." Rick said

Jerry had a confused look on his face staring at his family, "Um..okay. No. No, no, no. Foot down time."

"No, you're right. Where's the vodka?" Rick asked

"Beth, it's him or me!" Jerry shouted pointing between Rick and himself.

The room goes silent as everyone stares at Jerry.

"Seems like you guys need some privacy. I'll, uh-'ll be in the garage." Rick said

Rick leaves going to the garage while Morty, Summer, and Myra head upstairs.

* * *

"Summer that's enough," Myra whined

"Just one more." Summer smiled

"Fineeeeeee," Myra said

Summer held up her phone and took a picture of Myra and MJ.

"He looks a lot like Mason," Summer commented

"Yeah, his skin is just bit paler due to my genes," Myra said

"He doesn't have horns though." Summer was about to pat MJ's head but Myra stopped him.

"No they're there they just haven't grown in enough for you to see them through his hair. Things like his horns and tails don't grow in till later. Right now he's growing in his sharp ass teeth. I'd advise not putting your fingers near his face anytime soon." Myra explained

"Noted." Summer said, "So now that the Galactic Federation is gone are you gonna come home?"

"Good question. I'll probably set up some type of transportation hub doorway in my room here, so I can easily travel back and forth." Myra said

* * *

"What the fuck! Not cool, Jerry! A man's garage is his castle." Rick shouted walking into the garage.

He rearranged some dead flies on the table activating a secret code. His real workbench rises out of the garage floor going back to its normal place.

Beth walked into the garage. "Jerry's going to spend some time divorced."

"Oh, I-I'm sorry to hear that, sweetie. I hope I had nothing to do with that." Rick spoke with a sympathetic tone.

"Oh, God, Dad, that is not your burden to bear. I feel terrible that I misjudged you. This is gonna be good for Jerry." Beth said

"For everybody," Rick said

"For everybody," Beth said.

Summer, Myra, and Morty walked into the garage.

"I better tend to Jerry before he changes his mind and doesn't move out. I will leave you to your adventures." Beth said before leaving.

A ping goes off and Summer pulls out her phone. "Oh, my God. Nancy says they're drawing and quartering aliens in the school courtyard, and it technically counts as patriotism." She ran out the room leaving Rick, Myra, and Morty.

"Geez! Are my parents seriously gonna get divorced? All right, Rick, I'm gonna go to my-" Morty tried to leave, but he's grabbed by Rick.

"Not so fast, Morty. You heard your mom. We've got adventures to go on, Morty and now that this one," Rick points at Myra, "has extra baggage-"

"Hey!"

"-it's just you and me a-and sometimes your sisters and sometimes your mom, but never your dad. You want to know why, Morty? Because he crossed me." Rick ranted

"Okay, take it easy, Rick. T-T-That's dark." Morty looked scared trying to back up from Rick.

Rick grabbed Morty's shoulders. "Oh, it gets darker, Morty. Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that's different no more Dad, Morty."

"Oh, geez." Morty groaned

"He threatened to turn me in to the government, so I made him and the government go away," Rick said

Myra who wasn't really phased said, "Called it! Not the government thing but I knew he was going to find a way to get rid of dad."

"Oh fuck!" Morty cursed

"I've rep*burp*laced them both as the de facto patriarch of your family and your universe. Your mom wouldn't have accepted me if I came home without you and your sister, so now you know the real reason I rescued you. Oh! I just took over the family, Morty, and if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this, I'll deny it. That goes for you too Myra!" Rick yelled

"Yeah if I learned anything today it's not to cross Rick," Myra said

"That's right!" Rick shouted

Rick got really close to Morty, causing him to back up. Morty ended up tripping over something falling to the ground as Rick hovered over him.

"You're gonna deny it?" Morty asked

"They'll take my side because I'm a hero, Morty. And now you're gonna have to go and do whatever I say, Morty, forever! And I'll-I'll go out and I'll find some more of that 'Mulan' Szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty." Rick ranted starting to drool heavily from the mouth.

Morty looked confused at the last statement and so did Myra.

"What are you talking about?" The twins asked

"Because that's-that's what this is all about, you two," Rick said

"Szechuan?" Morty questioned

"That's my one-armed man! I'm not driven by avenging my dead family, Morty! That was fake. I-I-I'm driven by finding that McNugget sauce."

"McNuggets?" Morty tried to crawl away from Rick, but Rick grabbed his ankle pulling him back.

"I want that 'Mulan' McNugget sauce, Morty! That's my series arc, Morty." Rick said

"What the hell?" Morty said

"I think he fucking lost it in that prison," Myra whispered

MJ seemed to be enjoying Rick's crazy rant clapping his hands as he giggled.

"See the baby gets it! If it takes nine seasons, I want my McNugget dipping sauce, Szechuan sauce." Rick exclaimed

"What are you talking about, Rick?" Morty asked

"That's what's gonna take us all the way to the end, Morty," Rick said

"What are you talking about?!" Morty said more confused than ever.

"Season-nine more seasons, Morty. Nine more seasons until I get that dipping Szechuan sauce." Rick said

"What is that?!"

"For 97 more years, Morty! I want that McNugget sauce, Morty!"

Myra sighed reaching into her armor and pulled out a red flask drinking from it.


	26. Rickmancing the Stone

**Rickmancing the Stone**

In the Smith's garage, a portal opens up and out fell Rick, Morty, Summer, and Myra who had MJ strapped to her.

"Summer, next time we're hiding in a Colorkian echo nest, can you do me a favor and turn your ringer off?" Morty yelled at his older sister.

Summer not the bit concerned texted on her phone, "It's called 'carpe diem', Morty. Look it up."

"You look it up!" Morty shouted. "Y-Y-You don't even-You don't even know what it means!"

"That's because losers look stuff up while the rest of us are carpin' all them diems," Summer walked over to Rick and high-fived him.

"Listen to your sister, Morty. To live is to risk it all. Otherwise, you're just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you. Oh, I'm sorry, Jerry," Rick and everyone else looked over to see Jerry standing outside the garage doors, "I didn't see you there. H-How much of that did you hear?"

"All of it. You were looking right at me." Jerry gave a short sigh, "I just wanted to say goodbye to the kids."

"Cool. Just stay in the driveway. The killbots are live, and I took you off the whitelist," Rick said

Jerry looked a tad scared taking a step back. As Morty walked over to his father Summer and Myra stayed put paying more attention to Rick.

"W-We'll see you every other weekend, though, right?" Morty asked his father.

"Absolutely, Morty. A-And your mom's lawyer says if I can get enough in the settlement, he can help me sue for full custody," Jerry said

Myra rolled her eyes at that. There's no way he thought he was gonna get full custody over Beth, did he?

"Th-That'll be nice." Morty looked over to his sisters, "Uh, Summer, Myra, Dad's leaving!"

"Bye, Dad," Summer gave her father an offhanded wave barely giving him a glance, "Rick, didn't you say you needed my help on an adventure immediately somewhere else I don't care even if it might kill us?"

"I did not, but if you're really that alienated, I'm as willing to exploit it as the next guy, church, army, or Olympic gymnastics trainer," Rick stepped back pulling out his portal gun opening a portal.

"I'm ready when you are," Summer smirked before hopping into the portal.

"Bitch, I was ready yest-" Rick's sentence was cut short as he hopped into the portal after Summer.

Myra walked over next to her brother, "See ya Dad."

"By honey." Jerry gave a small smile looking at MJ, "Be safe with my little grandson now," Jerry bent down to be at eye level with the baby reaching over trying to touch him.

MJ giggled showing off his sharp teeth before he snapped at Jerry trying to bite the man's fingers off.

Jerry screamed pulling his hand back.

Myra just smirked at her father, "I wouldn't do that. He's teething and bites when he smells fear or weakness."

Jerry rubbed his hand letting out a nervous chuckle.

Myra walked over to the portal than just fell back falling into the portal.

"Bye, sweetie," Jerry waved to Morty.

"Well, I-I better-" Morty looked back and forth between Jerry and the portal.

"Sure. Sounds important," Jerry said

Morty steps back before jumping into the portal. As the portal closed Beth entered the garage.

"If you're looking for our kids, your father did a-a portal, uh-"

Beth cut Jerry off giving a simple, "Okay," Before walking back into the house.

Jerry started to walk away but pauses as the wind blows a few leaves by.

It's silent until faint whisper echoes.

"Loooser…"

"What?" Jerry raised a brow looking around confused, "Hello?"

* * *

"This escalated so fucking fast!" Myra shouted

The four Smiths were being chased by a band of road warrior type post-apocalyptic people, known as Death Stalkers. Rick drove the car, while Summer sat in the passenger seat. Morty and Myra were standing up in the back shooting at their pursuers.

"Twins, shoot the mohawk guy!" Rick shouted

"They all have mohawks!" Morty and Myra shouted back.

"High fade, chartreuse with cyan highlights, layered on top. Shoot him!" Rick said

Morty frowns but loads his gun. He shoots at the vehicle but misses. The Mohawk Guy's car pulls up, and he hops on the back staring face to face with the twins.

"Light them up," One of the Death Stalkers shouted

The Mohawk Guy laughed before blowing himself up.

"Fuck! Get in the game, you two!" Rick shouted

"Take this!" Myra reached into a bag on the seat. She pulled out something black before reeling her arm back. "Bombs away fuckers!"

She threw the black object and it slammed into one of the Death Stalkers face.

"My eyes! My eyes! They're burning!"

The man veered off crashing into another Death Stalker. As their vehicles collided an explosion erupted.

"Whooo go, Myra!" Summer cheered

"What the hell did you just throw?" Rick asked

"One of MJ's dirty diapers," Myra said

As Rick drove the Death Stalkers got closer.

"Give me your flask!" Summer held her hand out and Rick handed over his flask. Summer takes a swig before hopping onto the front of the car. She spits the alcohol into the engine of the car giving a boost that propels them forward at a high speed.

"Holy shit, Summer for the win!" Rick said

"I fucking love post-apocalyptic versions of Earth!" Summer shouted

A small device in the car started beeping and Rick smiled, "Here we go." He pulls the car over at a crater and everyone gets out. "Isotope 322," Rick goes in the crater pulling out a small gem shard. "This stuff's so powerful, Morty, it makes Isotope 465 look like Isotope 317."

"Uh-huh, yeah, is it powerful enough to keep those guys from murdering us?!" Morty cried pointing at the band of murderous hunters heading their way.

"Myra hand me your shotgun," Summer said

"Summer!" Morty shouted

Myra shrugs her shoulders handing the weapon over to her sister.

"Myra!" Morty shouted

"What if I didn't give it to her she would have taken it anyway," Myra said

Summer started walking in the direction of the Death Stalkers.

"Summer!" Morty shouted again.

"Hold on. I want to try something," Summer said

Rick just opens a portal next to him.

"Rick, can we not leave without one my sisters?!" Morty said

Rick groaned rolling his eyes, "Ugh. You have infinite sisters, Morty. I mean, n-not that I want to spend the rest of my day looking for another one. Sum-sum, let's go! Grandpa's concern for your safety is fleeting!"

Summer doesn't go back but stands strong facing the oncoming gang.

"Myra do something!" Morty said

"With what? Summer has the last weapon and I'm all out of diapers. And I can only use my watch within a certain range," Myra exclaimed

"Your blood will be my lotion," The leader cannibal shouted

Summer aims the shotgun at the car and shoots out the front tire. The car flips over crushing the leader under it.

"Whoa. That was cool," Rick said

"Mad props Summer that was badass!" Myra called out.

The leader manages to crawl from out under the car his legs useless, bleeding profusely.

"Kill me, please."

"Okay, but not because you told me to." Summer aimed the shotgun shooting the guy in the head point-blank. No ounce of emotion on her face.

"Summer!" Morty shouted

"Okay, getting darker," Rick said

"Damn Summer," Myra whispered

MJ giggled behind his pacifier his eyes shining as he stared at his aunt.

Summer turns around seeing the rest of the cannibal's coming. She puts her arms up in a "come at me" motion.

"Jesus Christ. Summer!" Morty cried running over to his older sister.

"Aw, come on." Rick groaned as he and Myra followed.

A buff man with a bucket on his head hops out one of the cars.

"Hands and little shoulder-mounted dudes where I can see them!" Rick shouted

"I am Hemorrhage. You have removed weak blood from us and made us stronger. We can combine our strength and feast on the weak together."

"Wh-Wh-What in the hell are you saying?" Rick questioned

"They don't have to keep trying to kill us if we join them. They're basically pussies," Summer said

"What is your deal lately?" Morty asked Summer.

Rick held up his gun cocking it, "All right, let's get sloppy. Oh, whoa," Rick put his gun down, "Uh, uh, what's, uh-What's that little bauble you got back there?" Rick points to one of the cars that had a large green rock sitting on top. "Th-Th-That's interesting."

"That is our glowing rock. We carry it with us for desecration, to remind us there are no gods," Hemorrhage explained

Rick holds up his machine and it beeps wildly in the direction of the glowing rock.

"Kids, weird pitch, let's have this be our new life. Let's be post-apocalyptic scavengers!" Rick cheered

"Okay." Summer agreed grinning

"What?!" Morty shouted

"I knew I should have went back to the castle," Myra sighed

* * *

The group was taken back to the Death Stalkers camp, just in time for lunch. They stood in a line as a man roasted meat over a fire pit.

"Grandpa, some of the Death Stalkers are going to what used to be Seattle to hunt what used to be people. I'm going," Summer said

"Sounds good. Stay hydrated," Rick said as Summer left.

Myra pulled out her red flask and took a drink from it.

"Myra is that alcohol?" Morty shouted

"Yup," Myra answered in a dull tone, "I'm gonna go find a skull and avoid getting tetanus."

"Cool have fun," Rick said

"Why do you need a skull?!" Morty called out.

"It's a gift!" Myra called back as she walked away.

"Listen, Rick, Summer's been acting pretty crazy lately. You know, I mean, I-I think the divorce is affecting her. And, you know, I don't think this is a great place for her to be right now. And Myra's acting like Myra but the whole drinking thing isn't good." Morty said

"Oh, get off your high horse, Professor Ski Lodge. This world may be rough around the edges, but it's got its charms," Rick said

"Bicep or quadricep?" The guy serving the so-called food asked.

"Uh…" Rick coughed clearing his throat, "bicep."

A slab of cooked meat was placed on Rick's plate. Rick takes a piece of the meat and starts eating it while Morty stares at him with a disapproving look.

"Seriously, Rick? Is it really easier to eat human flesh than to just tell me why we're still here?" Morty asked

Rick spits out the meat, "No. Okay, I'll level with you." He grabs Morty dragging him over to the giant glowing green rock. "You see that green rock, Morty? It's about 20 pounds of the stuff I was getting all hard for a flake of."

"Isotope 322," Morty stated

"Well, having a 20-pound boulder of it is better than having a flake. I can explain the math to you later, but-"

"Summer just ran off with strangers that have 'Death' in their name, and the rest of their name was 'Stalkers'!" Morty exclaimed

"Huh, could be therapeutic for her. She has been acting pretty crazy lately, Morty. I mean, her parents are going through a divorce," Rick said

"Damn it, Rick, that's what I-Fine. Just grab the stupid thing while I grab her and Myra, and let's get the 'F' out of 'H'!" Morty shouted

"No, no, no. Morty, there's too much heat on the bogey. I need you to distract the camp," Rick said

"'Distract?' They eat each other. Wha-What do you want me to do to get their attention, put on a puppet show?" Morty sarcastically replied.

"Right idea, wrong genre, Morty. The equivalent here would be…" Rick glanced over at a large dome. "Hey, you guys ever use that Thunderdome, or do you just put it up for decoration?" He asked a Death Stalker.

"Uh, you mean the Blood Dome?" A Death Stalker asked

"Save it for the Semantics Dome, E.B. White," Rick jeered

"Ooh, burn!"

"The important question is, who wants to take a poke at my man Spine Eater here?" Rick grabbed Morty lifting his arm.

All the surrounding Death Stalker's cheer.

"I guess I'll see your asses in that dome!" Rick smiled

"Rick, what the hell, man?! Wh-What are you, out of your mind?!" Morty cried

"Morty, relax. You're gonna be a ringer. Come here," Rick grabbed Morty dragging him off somewhere.

* * *

"Hey! Hey, I can tell when people are fucking looking!" Myra shouted

She adjusted MJ in her arms who was currently being breastfed.

"I know people are gonna stare but try to be subtle asshole!" Myra yelled at a Death Stalker who was blatantly staring at her feed her half-alien baby. The lower half of his body was obscured by a junked car and it was clear to Myra what he was doing.

When he didn't have the decency to look away but instead give Myra a perverted smirk she frowned narrowing her eyes.

"Okay, fucker you wanna play it that way."

Myra grabbed a pole, using her watch she created a mini blowtorch and hacked off the top of the pole giving the end a harsh jagged edge.

"One moment honey," Myra adjusted MJ, so he was in one arm. She held the pole like a javelin then launched it at the now confused Death Stalker. With incredible accuracy, the pole skewered the man right in the chest. He fell to the ground crying out as blood spilled everywhere.

"Yup I still got it," Myra smirked

MJ unlatched himself from his mother to giggle at the man withering on the ground.

"My my that was great."

Myra turned around seeing a Death Stalker woman with several kids surrounding her.

"I see you are showing your little one the way of spilling blood. Good."

"Sure let's call it that," Myra said

"You must come and join us for these little one's hunts. It would be good for your little one."

"Sure whatever," Myra said

"Blood Dome!"

A group of Death Stalkers ran by chanting Blood Dome.

"Wanna go check out the Blood Dome baby?" Myra asked MJ.

MJ giggled some more clapping his hands.

"Yeah I thought so," Myra said

She put her clothing back into place then put MJ in his harness. "Try not to eat any of your kids!" Myra called out to the Death Stalker woman.

"Only the weak ones!"

* * *

Myra walked over to the Blood Dome standing amongst the cheering group.

"Morty?" Myra questioned

Morty was in the Blood Dome smashing and killing opponents left to right. For some reason, one of his arms had been beefed up and looked like it belonged to a professional bodybuilder.

"Oh, God! Stop! Stop! This is horrible!" Morty cried as his arm strangled someone.

MJ seems to be having a blast as he watched his uncle obliterate Death Stalker after Death Stalker. Morty, on the other hand, seemed to not be having as much fun.

"Well this is probably gonna give Morty nightmares," Myra commented

Morty's arm threw a Death Stalker down then smashed the guy's skull in with its giant fist.

"Ha ha! Whoo! Unbelievable! A new champ!" The Announcer said

"Okay, no more!" Morty shouted

His arm, however, has other ideas and gives the 'bring it on' motion.

"And he wants more!"

"No, I don't!" Morty cried "Someone, make this stop!"

Another Death Stalker much taller and bigger than Morty hopped into the Blood Dome.

"Mister, please get out of here, or you're gonna die!" Morty tried to warn the guy, but he doesn't take heed and runs to Morty. Morty's giant arm punches the man in the stomach knocking him to his knees. "I have nothing to do with this!"

Summer along with Hemorrhage, they walked up to the Blood Dome standing next to Myra.

"Morty," Summer said perplexed

"I know right," Myra said

Morty's arm grabs the Death Stalker's prosthetic arm/weapon yanking it off, "Why would you want this to happen?" He then grabbed the man by the neck choking him. "All you had to do was go away!" He threw the man to the ground and started hitting him over the head. "Stop standing in the driveway talking about custody!" He grabbed the man's hair and started beating the Death Stalker's head in the ground. "And either tell her you want to stay married or get on with your life, but whatever you do, stop being a baby and act like a man!" Morty delivered the finishing blow uppercutting the Death Stalker's head sending it flying off and into the crowd.

Summer and Myra ran into the Blood Dome going to Morty.

Summer gave Morty a hug. "Morty, that was amazing!"

"Well, Morty gotta say I'm speechless." Myra held out her fist and the giant arm gave her a fist bump.

Hemorrhage walked over to the three.

"This is my brother! Not that family means anything!" Summer said

"This family does," Hemorrhage said causing Summer to smile.

"All right. Good job, champ," Rick walked over. "Um, can I talk to you kids for a second over yonder?"

Morty smiled, "Rick, I-I-I think I'm breaking through to something here. C-Can we not leave just yet?"

"Leave?" Hemorrhage questioned

"I'm not leaving." Summer stepped around Rick standing next to Hemorrhage.

"There is no leave. We are united, or we are enemies," Hemorrhage said

Rick put his hands up, "Oh, big guy, no. Nobody's leaving. Don't be stupid. We love being united. We love the radiation, the trichinosis. We're in it for life, which I assume is around 20 years, average. I just need a quick aside with my grandkids, about 40 yards from anyone else."

"Hey, the Green Rock is gone!" A Death Stalker shouted

"Oh, no!"

"Uh, I know why don't we all split up and look for it in groups of four? Kids?" Rick asked grabbing his grandkids.

Morty's arm reaches into Rick's satchel pulling out the green rock.

"Ooh." Rick groaned pulling out a gun.

* * *

Myra sat next to Morty in a Death Stalker car as a large chase commenced the target being one Rick Sanchez.

"Wonder what's going to happen if he gets caught?" Myra tickled MJ's cheek enticing a giggle from her infant son, "What do you think honey? Think Rick is going to get lynched and turned into a Rick skinned rug?" She cooed in a baby voice.

"Myra! We can't let Rick get killed!" Morty said

"Yeah, yeah I know." Myra held out her hand. "Hand me that gun."

Summer who was in a car with Hemorrhage pulled up next to Rick. "Grandpa, you're being stupid! Just surrender, and our friends will give you mercy!"

"Kiss my ass, Summer! Your friends have no mercy!" Rick shouted blasting some Death Stalkers. "They're lame!"

"Death Stalkers, bring me his flesh leather!" Hemorrhage shouted

A Death Stalker with a knife jumps onto Rick's car. Morty pulls up his car and Myra shoots the Death Stalker that was about to kill Rick.

"Sorry, but can we not kill him? C-Can we just take him prisoner?" Morty asked

"When did I lose control here?" Hemorrhage said

"Listen to me! The three of you kids need to get out of this environment, so we can properly deal with your parents' divorce!" Rick shouted

"Hey, I'm dealing with this all fine!" Myra shouted

"Shut up Myra! You only think you are! Alternatively, I have a freaking portal gun, and I can leave the three of you here forever!" Rick shouted

"Don't you fucking dare Rick!" Myra shouted

"Why does it have to be such a dramatic choice? Can't we arrange a thing where we spend weekends here or visit home to do laundry?" Morty asked

A Death Stalker with a machine gun starts shooting Rick's car.

"All right, you know what? Fuck it!" Rick stands up in his car and shoots a portal in the ground. His car falls into the portal sending him home but leaving his grandkids.

"Aww fuck," Myra whispered

* * *

Night had fallen amongst the Death Stalker camp. Morty was in the blood dome killing people while Summer was off spending her free time with Hemorrhage. Myra, however, was not adapting well like her siblings.

"I can't believe he fucking left us here! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Myra kicked over some junk. MJ had a quizzical look on his face tiling his head up to look at his distraught mother.

"This can't be happening. I've got a dinner/war meeting with Mason and his family! How the hell can this be happening? I've finally got things the way I wanted them. I got the-whoa?" Myra stopped ranting having a moment of realization. "Huh? Guess I did have some things I needed to work out. Let's see I constantly crave attention and an outlet for my violent nature which was never nurtured or rather allowed in the society that I lived in. And I've always felt like my high level of intelligence was being wasted. I detached myself from others because I knew no one would on earth would expect the real me. I've been hiding my insecurities from not only my family but for myself as well. My father leaving just shows me how easily people in our lives can be gone and up until recently I haven't cared about people in my life vanishing because I've made myself so detached from others. I'm also a bit scared of ending up like my parents stuck in a dead-end non-exciting marriage living a monotonous life in a boring suburb. But now I've not only found a guy who accepts my violent self he loves me for it and so does his family. I finally found a guy who I dare I say it, am in love it, and I'm afraid of losing him. I feel accepted and I might not show it but I'm excited for my future with Mason. Yeah, that seems about right...and now I'm pissed because I'm stuck here!"

Myra let out an angered sigh before grabbing things and throwing them around. After she was done she pulled out her flask before downing its contents.

"Well now that my manager has been quenched for the time being let's go check on my siblings. Hmmm, I can either go watch Morty annihilate people or watch Summer have awkward sex tension filled talks with a man named Hemorrhage. Yep, watch twin go kill people."

* * *

When Myra located her twin he was standing next to a man who had been set on fire.

"This isn't over," Morty said

"What isn't over?" Myra asked surprising Morty.

"I think this guy did something to Armthony and now I gotta storm a castle I think?" Morty said

"Wait, hold on? Did you just say you named your arm, and you named it Armothy?" Myra said

"What's wrong with Armothy?" Morty questioned

"Nothing nothing, just a lot of play on words that's all," Myra said, "So wanna go storm a castle or what?"

* * *

Myra was on Morty's back as he used Armothy to climb the walls of a castle. They're pulled onto the roof where two guards were waiting. Armothy easily kills both of them as Myra just watches. Then the arm bust through a glass window entering a bathroom where the Slave Owner was being bathed.

"Ahh! Oh, gee!" Morty said

Two guards run at Morty but Myra who was halfway through the window holds up her watch and blast the two disintegrating them.

Morty walks up to the Slave Owner as Armothy cracks its knuckles.

"Oh, god. Look, whoever you are, you should know that killing me won't change a thing," The Slave Owner cried.

"Yeah but I'm sure it'll make him feel better," Myra said

"L-Look, man, I'm just along for the ride on this one. You know, y-y-y-y-you're preaching to the choir here," Morty said

"Please. Slavery was a family business. I didn't ask to be born into it. If anything, I'm the victim here!" The Slave Owner cried

"Uh, Armothy, can I steal you for a second? E-E-Excuse us, sir," Morty walked over to the side whispering to his arm.

As they did so the Slave Owner tired to crawl out of the tub but is stopped by a sword being put to his neck.

"Now where do you think you're going?" Myra held one of the guard's swords up to the Slave Owner's neck keeping him in place. "My brother needs this right now so you're gonna stay right here."

"So, this is it, isn't it? This is the guy?" Morty asked

Armothy shakes its fist nodding yes.

"So, does that mean you'll be going away? Like, does it work like a ghost? Like, is is this your unfinished business?" Morty asked

Armothy gives a so-so motion.

"Wh-What if we didn't do it? What if we just went back to the Blood Dome and just kept taking our baggage out on unrelated people?" Morty started tearing up. "I mean, w-we could do that forever. I mean, I-I know it's less healthy, but w-w-we'd be together and-"

Armothy puts a finger to Morty's lips making him go quiet.

"I mean, I-I know what I'd vote for, if you're feeling out the room," The Slave Owner said

Armothy points at the Slave Owner with a warning before wiping away Morty's tear.

"You're right. We both got to see our stuff through. I got to deal with my parents' divorce, and you got to, you know, do what you got to do. I love you," Morty gives Armothy an awkward hug.

"Aw, fuck!" The Slave Owner cursed

Myra steps back taking the sword away. "He's all yours boys."

Armothy gabs the Slave Owner and starts choking him.

A clinking noise catches everyone's attention. They look over to see Rick rooting around some stuff.

"Rick?" Morty and Myra said

"Sorry, sorry. I-I-I can wait for this to wrap up. Don't let me distract you," Rick said

"Yeah, well, too late," Morty said

Armothy takes the Slave Owner and dunks his head underwater.

"Just tell me what you want."

"I want you and your sisters to come home," Rick said

"Oh, but don't don't you have infinite versions of me and my sisters?" Morty said

"You don't have to kick me while I'm down, Morty. Look, there's no replacing either of you without an amount of work that would ultimately defeat the purpose," Rick said

Armothy holds the man underwater until he gives up and goes limp in the water. Armothy let's go and starts to shrink until Morty's arm is back to normal.

"Maybe the lesson we've learned is that, whether it's our parents' marriage, a glowing green rock, or an awesome, giant arm, sooner or later, we got to let it go," Morty said

"I don't know if that applies to the throats of murder victims, Morty," Rick said as the Slave Owner started gasping signaling that he wasn't dead.

"Shit! Wh-Wh-Wh-What do I-"

"Well, the longer you wait, Morty, the more it's gonna feel like committing a whole murder. I think your arm just called it too early because it wasn't the arm of a paramedic. Here," Rick grabbed Morty's hands and makes him grab the Slave Owner choking him. "It's the least I can do. I-I-I-I owe you this much. See, Morty? Now we're both accountable."

"Once he's dead let's go home. I got a guy to get back to," Myra said

"Oh, what happened to our little emotionally detached Myra?" Rick mused

"Shut up Rick we all got shit we need to work through and I'm slowly coming to terms with my emotional issues sparked by this divorce," Myra said

* * *

Myra, Morty, and Rick drove towards a group of Death Stalkers. They pull the car to a stop getting out, with Rick holding up the glowing green rock. Summer gets out one of the Death Stalker's car with Hemorrhage.

"Well look likes someones gone native," Myra commented taking in Summer's new outfit.

"The reason I wanted this is because it can do this," Rick pulls out a light bulb and places it on the rock and the light bulb lights up. "This is a really special thing. I mean, you could use it to power all your vehicles. You wouldn't be reliant on gasoline. You'll be the most advanced tribe of radioactive cannibals in the whole this version of the world." Rick gave the rock to Hemorrhage. He then pulled out his portal gun making a portal.

"Wait. Can you stay to show us more?" Hemorrhage asked

"You don't have to ask me twice. Home is nuts right now. My daughter's going through a divorce, and I am not dealing with it in a healthy way at all."

 ** _THREE WEEKS LATER_**

The Death Stalker's village had been turned into a suburban resident being powered by Isotope 322. Summer, pulled into a driveway as she parked a grocery bag is knocked over.

"Ugh. Goddammit," Summer cursed

"Hi, there, Summer! How were the ruins today?" A neighbor asked

"Oh, you know, Eli. Same shit, different day," Summer said

A woman walked up. "Hey, Summer! Guess what. One man entered, one man comes out in nine months."

"Oh, congratulations, guys," Summer said

"Uh, Summer, one more thing. We noticed that you've been putting scrap metal in the blue bin-"

"I got it," Summer sighed walking into the house.

"She's a piece of work."

"They both are, right?"

Inside the house, Rick, Morty, and Hemorrhage sat on a couch watching television. Hemorrhage was no longer in his armor but instead wearing some jeans along with a white shirt, but he still had his bucket helmet on. Myra sat off to the side in a recliner rocking MJ trying to get him to nap.

"I'm home," Summer announced entering the living room.

"Hey, babe," Hemorrhage greeted not looking up from the TV.

"Ah, Summer's home," Rick greeted

"Hey, there she is!" Morty smiled

"Hey sis," Myra said

"You haven't moved since I left to scavenge this morning," Summer said looking at Hemorrhage.

Hemorrhage pointed at the TV, "Blood Dome playoffs."

Summer puts a hand on her hip. "So, I can assume you haven't murdered a single person today."

"Oh, I don't know. I-I didn't mark my murders in my murder log. I didn't know that's how we measured success," Hemorrhage said

Summer threw her arms up, "Oh, there he is. There's the nihilistic brute I married, except now life only means nothing when I'm talking to him and everything means everything when it's on fucking TV!"

"Jesus Christ, when did you become a monster?" Hemorrhage said

"I was a monster when you met me! We were monsters! We didn't care about anything!" Summer shouted

"I still don't!" Hemorrhage said

"Yeah, except I'm the only one in this entire world that's still committed to that!" Summer said

Hemorrhage stands up facing Summer. "Ohh! Ding, ding, ding! Wow. Everybody hear that? Wow."

"Uh, we should go to the garage," Rick said

He, Morty, and Myra get up walking into the garage.

"I got to admit, Rick, when you popped this scheme, I-I-I didn't-I wasn't sure it was gonna work," Morty said

Rick pulled out a suitcase pulling out a large chunk of Isotope 322. Come on, Morty. No union built on running from your problems lasts more than five years, seven tops. Grandpa just sped things up with a few creature comforts of modern society."

"Hell yeah! That means we can finally go home. Fuck the average suburbia lifestyle. This has been one of the most boring three weeks ever," Myra said

Summer comes in the garage, "Hemorrhage and I are taking some time apart."

"Oh, no. Sum-sum, no. But you two were perfect for each other," Rick said with fake sympathy.

"Oh, cut the crap, Rick, okay? You proved your point, I get it. Let's just go home," Summer said

"Coolsies," Rick said making a portal.

Summer, Morty, and Myra all jump in. Rick is about to follow but grabs the small chunk of Isotope 322 cutting off the town's power.

"Noooooooooo!" Hemorrhage screamed.

* * *

As the group entered the garage three robots one of Summer, Rick, and Morty entered. The Morty robot seemed to be freaking out but that was easily taken care of when Rick deactivated them.

"Hey, why isn't there a robot of me?" Myra asked

"Oh, I just told your mother that you had some stuff to do with your alien. I made a fake recording hologram phone call that could react to over a thousand questions your mother asked when she needed to talk to you," Rick said

"Huh? You really try to do the least amount of work in everything don't you," Myra said

"Yup," Rick replied

Summer and Morty bolt into the house running to Beth and giving her a hug.

"Hey, yo. Sorry for acting so weird for three weeks," Rick said

"What the hell just happened?" Beth asked

"Ah, I'm sure it was nothing. I'm gonna go, uh, work in the garage," Rick said

"We're not gonna finish playing Downbeat?" Beth asked

"What, that dice game where you shake dice and yell out, 'Downbeat?' No, thank you." Rick left going to the garage.

"Mom, would it be okay if I went to visit Dad?" Summer asked

"Sure," Beth said

"Thanks." Summer ran out of the room.

"Morty, are you okay?" Beth asked

"You know what? Yeah. I think if Dad really wanted to be here, he'd stop at nothing to make that happen. You know, maybe Dad just doesn't want you back, or maybe he just doesn't have the strength to fight. I-In either case, he's got his life, I got mine," Morty said

"Yeah. Hey, who wants to go run in a stream?" Beth asked

"What the fuck? No. D-Do we have any oranges? I think I got a scurvy coming on," Morty scratched his arm before he left the room.

"How are you doing Myra? I haven't seen you in person for a while," Beth said

"You know what mom. I'm doing great actually. You little baby Myra has spread her wings and is not only flying, but she's gone and made her own nest," Myra gestured to MJ. "You don't have to worry about me at all cause I got a fucking awesome life."

Beth was surprised when Myra gave her a hug. Myra was known for not showing affection. She smiles happily hugging her daughter back. Myra slowly pulled away from her mother then held up her watch.

"Now if you'll excuse me."

Myra made a portal and jumped through it.

* * *

Myra appeared in her and Mason's room. Mason, who was sitting on their bed polishing some armor, when the portal appeared he stopped and smiled.

"Myra your home! I missed-"

Mason was cut off when Myra pounced on him locking lips. He was surprised but caught Myra holding her up as the two engaged in a very heated kiss.

When they finally needed air the two pulled away.

"Not that I didn't love that but what was that for?"

"I love you," Myra said

Mason froze, "What did you just say?"

"I love you. I really really love you Mason….and I'm really looking forward to one day being your Queen," Myra said

Mason gave Myra a large grin his sharp teeth gleaming.

"Ah hell yeah!" Mason scooped Myra up in his arms holding her in a bridal carry.

"What do you say we drop of Junior with one of the nannies and I really show you how much I love you," Myra said giving Mason a wink.

Mason didn't have to be told twice as he ran out the room holding Myra.

* * *

Myra walked into the garage of the Smiths home.

"Hey Rick have you seen a metal box about this big," Myra held her hands up showing Rick the size.

"You mean this thing," Rick kicked a brown metal box next to his feet.

"There it is," Myra walked over meaning the box. "Ah fuck."

"What?" Rick said

"This box was an incubator for a project I've been working on. I was trying to bioengineer some animals to guard and attack. Elephants with titanium plated skin to crush enemies, birds that can mimic sounds to act as spies, snakes with various venoms that can make you tell the truth. This box had Torment Wolves, created from the DNA of timber wolves. They seek out people and cause them to suffer which they feed on," Myra said

"Interesting concept," Rick said

"This one was gonna be MJ's pet but it seems like it escaped. Huh? I wonder who it's making suffer right now?" Myra questioned

* * *

Jerry was whistling as he opened his mailbox pulling out two letters. As he turned around he yells seeing a wolf stalking up towards him.

"Ahh! H-Hello there. Nice doggy. You-You want a snack?" Jerry held out his bag of chips but the wolf just growls. "You-You want my unemployment check?"

The wolf gives out a firmer growl as if saying yes.

"You can tell the difference? And you want this one?" Jerry held up his check. He then gestured to the bag of chips. "But this is actual food, and this would nourish you. And this it's just paper that only has value to me. Unless my suffering is your nourishment?"

The wolf howls freaking Jerry out.

"Jesus, okay." Jerry gives the wolf his check putting it in the growling animal's mouth. The wolf chews the paper up then spits it out at Jerry's feet before it walks away.

Jerry stands still opening his chips trying to process what just happened.

A wind blows by and a faint whisper is heard.

"Loser~"


	27. Pickle Rick

**Jaddis -** Once the next Evil Morty episode is posted it'll make more sense why I wrote it that way.

 **Anon -** Such a long review, it's greatly appreciated. I would think that Myra has some form of depression just due to her social interactions and disconnection with her peers and family. Also due to her large IQ can sometimes be a heavy burden. But her character is developing throughout the story.

 **Blackfeather -** I'll look into that, thanks for pointing it out. It's incredible I have two grammar correcting softwares and stuff like that still happens.

 **shen0 -** I may do that. I do have one worked out for Mason, Jerry, and Rick.

 **daniselle98 -** I didn't explain it in the chapter but yeah it is, but it's from Mason's planet so it doesn't have the same effects that Earth alcohol has.

 **Guest -** It may take me some time, just cause I get caught up with other stories, but unless I say so, the story will continue until its finished.

 **Pickle Rick**

"You're gonna be there right?" Myra asked

"Myra on my word I will be there," Mason promised over the computer screen.

"You better," Myra warned. She looked down into her arms. "Hold still you little demon."

MJ gave out a giggle as his mother tried to brush his hair, being careful of his growing horns.

Both Myra and MJ were semi-dressed up. Myra was in loose-fitting satin blouse that was tucked into a black skirt. She still wore her scarf that hid her necklace, and she still wore her armored boots. Really all she changed was that shirt and the color of her skirt.

MJ was in a cute little outfit consisting of a collared shirt and black pants.

"Ugh it's almost time," Myra looked at the screen facing Mason's image. "Remember-"

"Yes, I remember. As soon as my meeting is over I'll be right there," Mason reassured Myra.

"Good. See ya soon," Myra said

"See ya soon. Love you," Mason said

Myra paused her eyes looking off to the side. "Love you too." She fully wasn't used to saying her feeling out loud, but she'd at least try.

Mason smiled at Myra before hanging up the call.

"Myra are you and MJ ready?" Beth asked walking into the bathroom.

"Yeah, we're done." Myra picked up MJ and strapped him onto her front.

"Have you seen Morty or your grandfather?" Beth asked

"Nope," Myra answered

At that moment Summer walked by.

"Summer!" Beth called out getting her eldest attention. "Have you seen Morty or your grandfather?"

"No," Summer said

"They could be in the garage lets go," Beth said

* * *

Beth, Summer, and Myra walked into the garage spotting Morty but no Rick.

"Morty, we have to get going, or we're gonna be late. Where's your grandpa?" Beth asked looking around the garage.

"Right here, sweetie. I'm a pickle!"

Everyone looked down at Rick's workbench to see a pickle with Rick's face on it.

"Oh for fuck's sake he's a goddamn pickle," Myra whispered

"What?! Why would you-Look, we're running late. We have to go," Beth said

"Where are you guys going?" Pickle Rick asked

"We have an appointment downtown that was set a week ago and agreed upon by everyone, including you," Beth said

"Oh, my God. Beth, oh, it totally slipped my mind. Geez, oh, man. I'm a pickle. I mean, I don't know if I can, ooh, geez," Pickle Rick said apologetically, but at this point, his family knew he was faking it.

"Rick, did you do this on purpose to get out of family counseling?" Morty asked

"Morty!" Beth chided

Myra sighs rolling her eyes, knowing that is exactly why Rick did this. Heck, even she didn't want to go but Mason convinced her to do it on the grounds that he would come too, plus he would owe her later.

"It's okay, Beth. I understand Morty's suspicion. I've misled him before. Morty, turn me, so we're making eye contact," Pickle Rick said

Morty adjusts Pickle Rick, so he's facing him.

"Morty, I assure you, I would never 'find a way' to 'get out of' family therapy. I hope my lack of fingers doesn't prevent the perception of my air quotes," Pickle Rick said

Summer bent down to Pickle Rick, "Can't you just turn yourself back into a human? Or you know have Myra change you back she's like a mad genius too."

Rick wanted to cut his eyes. "Great question, Summer. There's no way Myra would change me back."

"He's sort of right," Myra interjected. "I don't really divulge myself in organic biological experiments that aren't animal-based," Myra subtly narrowed her eyes at Pickle Rick. "So it'd take me awhile to figure out how to turn him back into human. Rick would most likely be able to figure it out before I did, seeing how he turned himself into a pickle in the first place."

"See. The unfortunate answer is I did this to challenge myself. And it could take hours or even days before I'm able to figure out how to return to human form. But, I mean, you know, your mom could put me in a purse or a pocket, you know, if she really needs me to go," Pickle Rick said

"Nobody needs anything! Okay, it's fine. I mean, you should just stay here and figure out how to stop being a pickle, okay?" Beth said

"Hey, Rick," Morty pointed up making everyone turns their gaze towards the ceiling of the garage. "Why is there a syringe of mysterious fluid hanging directly over you? Also, why is the string attached to it running through a pair of scissors attached to a timer? And why is the time set to 10 minutes from now, exactly when we would have left for therapy?"

"Well, Morty," Pickle Rick narrowed his eyes. "If you know must know, the syringe is completely unrelated to this discussion, and, therefore, it does not warrant further explanation."

Beth reaches up taking down the syringe. "Enough. Kids, it's time to go. We don't want to be late." She took the syringe and places it in her purse.

Pickle Rick looks confused as he watches his daughter pocket the syringe. "W-w-what are you doing there, Beth? What are you doing there, sweetie?"

"Well, I mean, you don't want to get pierced by a needle full of liquid unrelated to your situation. How's that gonna help?" Beth said

"Can't argue with that," Pickle Rick said

"Great. We'll see you later," Beth said

Beth, Summer, Myra, and Morty all leave the garage getting in the car and driving off leaving Pickle Rick alone in the garage.

* * *

The family made it to the therapist's office and were now currently sitting in the waiting room. Beth was reading a magazine while her children sat around looking rather bored. MJ, who was sitting in his mother's lap, was gnawing on a hard teething ring, his sharp little teeth scraping against the ring.

"How is this even family therapy if Dad's not invited and Grandpa won't come?" Summer said

"Yeah, and what's courageous about eating a hot dog?" Morty pointed to a poster on the wall showing a man giving a thumbs up while eating a hotdog.

"It's nobody's choice to be here, you knobs. The family was told to get counseling by your principal, even though it's not the family that was huffing pottery glaze in the art room" Beth cut her gaze to Summer, "and desk wetting in history class." She then cut her gaze to Morty.

Both Morty and Summer looked away from their mother.

"Haha, you two did what?" Myra laughed

"Coming from the girl who got knocked up by an alien," Summer quipped

Myra paused in her laughter before looking at Summer. "Touche big sister. But seriously why do I have to be here again?"

"Because your a constant factor in your sibling's lives," Beth said

Myra sighs lenaing back into her seat.

The door to the doctor's office open and Mr. Goldenfold exits.

"Oh, the Smith family, minus a dad," Mr. Goldenfold greeted. "You're patients of Dr. Wong, too?"

"Temporarily. By order of the school," Beth said

"Me too. How long have you all been eating poop?" Mr. Goldenfold asked

The whole Smith family looked both disgusted and concerned by Mr. Goldenfold's question.

"We...have never eaten poop," Summer said

Mr. Goldenfold grew nervous and avoids eye contact. "Uh, me, neither. Say, where did my family get off to?"

Mr. Goldenfold quickly left the room and the Dr. finally came in.

"Smith family, I'm Dr. Wong. Come on in."

The family gets up, and they all enter the doctor's office.

"I was told there was a grandpa and a fiance that might be joining us?" Dr. Wong asked

"He supposed to be here-"

Myra was cut off when a portal opens up above here and out falls Mason, who plops right down on the couch next to Myra. Dr. Wong simply just adjusted her glasses not seeming at all phased by the alien who just appeared.

"Hello there!" Mason greeted with a smile.

"Oh, so you did make it," Myra said

Mason gave Myra a kiss on the cheek."I promise you didn't I." He smiled looking around the room. "So this is human therapy huh? Much different from what I was expecting. Very different from the form of therapy on my planet."

"And what is therapy like on your planet?" Dr. Wong asked

"Oh, well we have competitions and battles, to settle our disputes. Last week-"

Myra covered Mason's mouth. "Trust me you don't wanna hear the story." She said to the doctor.

"Well, now we have the finance what about the Grandpa?" Dr. Wong asked. "Will he be arriving by a...portal as well?"

"He got wrapped up in an experiment. He's a scientist. Like, legit, like on an intergalactic, sci-fi level. His work is very-"

"He turned himself into a pickle," Morty and Myra interrupted

"Morty, Myra, Mom's talking. I'm sorry, I suppose that's a good segue into our little discipline cases here," Beth said

"Does Grandpa turn himself into a pickle a lot?" Dr. Wong asked

"What? No, what kind of question is that?" Beth said

"The kind that wasn't designed to attack or hurt you in any way," Dr. Wong said

Beth sighed. "Oh, Jesus Christ, one of these. No, my father has never turned himself into a pickle before. He's unpredictable and eccentric. The whole family is. Speaking of which…" Beth looked at her kids.

"Okay, let's open things up to the whole family, and let me ask this. Why do we think Grandpa turned himself into a pickle?" Dr. Wong asked

Both Beth and Myra roll their eyes.

* * *

Mason looked at Myra confused. "Wait when did Rick become a pickle? I'm confused, is that something humans normally do?"

"I didn't say my father is perfect, I said his work is important." Beth seemed to be having a one-sided argument with Dr. Wong.

"And she's saying what's important is that Grandpa lied to you to get out of coming here." Summer said

"Oh, he did not!" Beth said

"* _ **Cough***_ Denial **_*Cough*_** " Myra sounded

Dr. Wong stepped in trying to diffuse the growing tension. "Let's do an experiment here. I get the impression this family values science. So raise your hand if you feel certain you know what was in the syringe."

No one raised their hand.

"Raise your hand if you know for certain the syringe does not contain anti-pickle serum," Dr. Wong said

Beth started to raise her hand but stopped.

"Beth, your hand did a little thing there," Dr. Wong pointed out.

"Do you really not see what's happening here?" Beth questioned

"Tell me," Dr. Wong encouraged

"Well, Dr. Wong, by the way, racist name, obviously, Morty, Myra, and Summer are seizing on your arbitrary pickle obsession as an end run around what was supposed to be their therapy," Beth said

"Oh, I think this pickle incident is a better path than any other to the heart of your family's dysfunction. I think it's possible that you and your father have a very specific dynamic. I don't think it's one that rewards emotion or vulnerability. I think it may punish them. I think it's possible that dynamic eroded your marriage, and is infecting your kids with a tendency to misdirect their feelings," Dr. Wong diagnosed, and Beth didn't seem to like that.

"Fuck you," Beth cursed at the Doctor.

"Mom!" Morty and Summer shouted

"Fuck both of you, too," Beth said

"Ha!" Myra laughed looking at her family.

"There's a fuck for you to Myra," Beth said

Myra shrugged her shoulders. "Fair enough."

Mason leaned in close to Myra and whispered. "This starting to look more like therapy on my planet."

* * *

It seems like the Smiths family therapy session was turning more into an intervention for Beth.

"What do you think is in the syringe, Beth?" Dr. Wong asked Beth.

Beth rolled her eyes crossing her arms. "You're the one that costs $200 an hour. You tell me."

"Anti-pickle serum." All the Smith children said.

"I know I'm relatively new here but I think its Anti-pickle serum too," Mason added

"Your kids and son-in-law, think it might be anti-pickle serum," Dr. Wong said

"My kids pee their desks, suck on unbaked vases, and get knocked up by aliens," Beth said

Myra narrowed her eyes at her mother not liking the crack she made at her. Did Beth forget that she too got knocked up in high school, at least the person Myra planned on marrying wasn't a self-pity ignoramus.

Morty picked up a book from Dr. Wong's tale and starts reading it.

"They're just angry at me for divorcing their father," Beth said

"I never said I was angry at you," Summer interjected

"That's the point of pottery-enamel huffing, Summer. You do it so you don't have to say 'I'm angry at mommy' out loud," Beth said

"If I was angry at you for divorcing Dad wouldn't I have gotten pregnant after you guys separated. Cause judging by the baby in my lap I'm pretty sure I didn't get pregnant because I didn't like my parents' marital decisions." Myra said

"Yeah we slep-!"

Myra slapped a hand over Mason's mouth a second time. "Shut up." She hissed

"Oh, my God!" Morty shouted closing the book. "Oh, there-there's pictures of people eating poop in there!"

Dr. Wong takes the book putting it on her lap. "It's not my job to take sides or pass judgment. Do you think when your father asks for that syringe, you could ask him-"

"He won't have to ask for it, okay?" Beth interrupted. "He won't need it. He'll just make more. He doesn't need anything from anyone."

"You admire him for that." Dr. Wong said

"It's better than making your problems other people's problems," Beth said

* * *

After some therapy techniques, Dr. Wong was able to get Beth to finally open up more.

"I am afraid that my kids will get expelled, and I'm also afraid that I've set a bad example for Myra," Beth admitted

Dr. Wong nodded her head. "Good. Summer, you go."

"I am mad that I can't huff enamel without people assuming it's because my family sucks. I hope to be seen one day as someone that just likes getting high," Summer said

"Good job. Myra how about you?" Dr. Wong

"I….feel like my family feels that I'm making bad decisions and that me getting knocked up along with planning on getting married was a stupid thing and some form of rebellion. But I also feel the happiest I've ever been in a really long time and…." Myra lowers her head looking away from everyone. "I feel like I could open up to my family more."

Summer, Morty, and Beth all gape at Myra, never having seen her act like this before.

"Oh all of you just shut up," Myra mumbled

"Very good. Morty, do you have an 'I' statement?" Dr. Wong asked

"I am sad that I peed. I'm sad that I peed in class instead of a toilet," Morty said

"Look at this family go. You guys are pros. What do you guys think about doing this once a week?" Dr. Wong suggested

Before anyone could answer the door was kicked in and standing there was Pickle Rick, having skeletal and cybernetic limbs to help move his pickle body. He walks over to one of the couches flopping on it next to Beth.

"You must be Rick." Dr. Wong said

Pickle Rick nodded his head. "Mm-hmm."

"I've heard a lot about you today. Your family is crazy about you. Your daughter holds you in very high regard. You're a lucky fella."

"Yeah, thank you," Pickle Rick looked at his daughter. "Uh, sweetie, you don't still happen to have that syringe in your purse?"

Beth looks to Dr. Wong, who nods her head. Beth looks back at her father. "Dad I would like you to tell me what's in the syringe."

"It's a serum that I need to, uh, to stay alive. I have had a rough day. And, uh, I've sustained a lot of damage. I'm pretty close to death, which the serum will prevent." Pickle Rick said

"By changing you from a pickle to a human," Dr. Wong added

"Yes." Pickle Rick admitted

"Rick, why did you lie to your daughter?" Dr. Wong asked

"So I wouldn't have to come here." Pickle Rick stated

"Why didn't you want to come here?" Dr. Wong asked

"Because I don't respect therapy, because I'm a scientist. Because I invent, transform, create, and destroy for a living, and when I don't like something about the world, I change it. And I don't think going to a rented office in a strip mall to listen to some agent of averageness explain which words mean which feelings has ever helped anyone do anything. I think it's helped a lot of people get comfortable and stop panicking, which is a state of mind we value in the animals we eat, but not something I want for myself. I'm not a cow. I'm a pickle. When I feel like it," Rick explained

"Rick, the only connection between your unquestionable intelligence and the sickness destroying your family is that everyone in your family, you included, use intelligence to justify sickness. You seem to alternate between viewing your own mind as an unstoppable force and as an inescapable curse. And I think it's because the only truly unapproachable concept for you is that it's your mind within your control. You chose to come here, you chose to talk -to belittle my vocation- just as you chose to become a pickle. You are the master of your universe, and yet you are dripping with rat blood and feces. Your enormous mind literally vegetating by your own hand. I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy, the same way I'm bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass. Because the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is it's not an adventure. There's no way to do it so wrong you might die. It's just work. And the bottom line is, some people are okay going to work, and some people well, some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose."

After Dr. Wong's words the room grew silent.

Myra leaned close to Mason. "Oh, she's good." She whispered

A beeping sound went off and Dr. Wong looked down at her watch. "That's our time. I'm going to give you guys my card and hope to hear from you again. And if you have any friends or family that eat poop and would like to stop, give them my number."

* * *

The Smith family, not including Mason, were in the car driving home. The kids were in the backseat, Pickle Rick in the passenger, and Beth was driving.

"I, um I'm sorry I lied to get out of the thing. I, I shouldn't lie to you," Pickle Rick said

"Oh, it's fine…..I mean, thank you, and, yeah, you shouldn't. But I hope you know that's not what that session was supposed to be," Beth said

"Oh, no, I mean, I know it was Morty peeing his pants, Myra's baby, and Summer snorting glue or whatever…" Pickle Rick said

Beth laughed, "She huffed enamel, and we never even talked about it."

"Well, there was so much more at stake. I mean, that shrink, what a monologuist," Pickle Rick said

"Are we gonna go back?" Summer asked from the back.

"Sweetie, could I get-get that syringe now?" Pickle Rick asked

"Oh, my God, yes! Dad, it's in my purse. Oh, I'm sorry. You must be in agony," Beth said

"Eh." Pickle Rick grabs the syringe and injects himself turning back into a human coughing up some pickle brine too. "Therapists, man."

"Weird breed," Beth said

"Man, I missed having hands and blood and a stomach," Rick said "We should get a drink."

"Really? Like, go somewhere? Yeah, let's drop the kids off and go tie one on," Beth said

"Absolutely," Rick said

"I-I liked her," Morty spoke from the backseat.

"So what are you thinking, like, Smokey's Tavern? Maybe Shoney's?" Beth suggested

"I'm not one for therapy but I think that Dr. was good," Myra spoke

"Yeah, either one. Either one." Rick said

All the siblings look at one another knowing that this was most likely their first and last visit with Dr. Wong.


End file.
